Rachel's Secret

"So?"

"You. The way you are dressed. Not like this...Drinking wine, alcohol on your breath. I'm your guardian, how will it seem?"

"Like you..." She stopped mid sentence, not finish finishing what I knew she may say. But she did not go there.

I continued to work with the dishes, she watching me, silent. She hadn't rinsed any of them, and in frustration I began removing everything and putting them back in the sink.

"What are you doing?"

"You didn't rinse any of these." I continued, "Susan is a friend, I fully intended to tell you this morning, really, but, uh, I forgot. And I did not see you last night...."

She interrupted me. "You know what, I'm not mad about that. I'm not. I just feel like I tell you not to get all weird on me and you get all weird on me."

"This isn't weird."

"You know what, it suddenly feels fucking weird. Alright. I mean, I never hear anyone, like there is NOBODY in your life. All this not ready stuff, heard that one before? You haven't so much as looked at a girl - according to you - since...you know. And then, after - yesterday - you have date."

She moved to the sink as she said that, turned on the water, began to rinse and place each dish back into the dishwasher as well, correctly. Bending and giving me a perfect view of her ass each time. I moved myself to see less of her and began putting in some of the glasses. Her glass of wine sitting on the counter. I wanted to take it dump it in the sink but did not. She next took a plate, rinsed it off, and turning toward me leaned into the dishwasher brushing the tips of her breasts across my arm. She did it again. Her body having its effect. She asked, "You going to sleep with her?"

When she next turned to the sink, I moved behind her and stood close, answering, "No. No. I'm just going out all right?" My mind was getting all muddled. I knew I could touch her, that she would let me. She had dressed like this for me. I could smell her, feel her hairs brush my arm as she moved.

With her back to me she said, "You know what? You are ARE like all the other boys."

I lay my hands at her hips, and I watched her head go up as I touched her. Surprise? I began feeling the curve of her ass rubbing over the fabric of her top, could feel the lacy fabric of those panties. She continued to rinse as I rubbed my hands down her thighs and back up under her top over her ass cheeks. Leaning in, my hands still on her, I tucked my chin into her shoulder and said low into her ear, "First of all, I am not ignoring you. Second of all..."

The water continued to run but she had frozen in place. I reached around and lay the flat of my hand up under her shirt and let my hands wander over her tummy. Her head went down as I softly stroked her bare midriff. "...It's not possible. Rachel, I can't be a boyfriend. You have to know. All I can..." and I brought my hands up now and squeezed her breasts. She moaned as I squeezed, she turned the water off and pressed her ass into my crotch. I met her and rocked my hip, nuzzling my cock into her ass, let my hard cock brush up and down her behind. She felt me, and her whole body, melting. "...do, is make you feel good."

I could feel her going soft as I pinned her there.

Her voice so soft I could barely hear, "I know."

I was cooing my words into her ear now, "you understand?." She backed herself into me and waggled her ass back and forth over my crotch, feeling how hard I was. I kissed her neck, "When I've said I'm sorry, that is why. Do you have any idea how good I felt yesterday? I felt great. In fact people noticed, noticed me ... happy, probably the first time in my life, it feels like I was happy. Rachel, you make me happy. You know that don't you?"

I was massaging her front, running my hands up and down her sides, taking in her warm velvet skin. Her top was up above her breasts, bunched up under her arms. Looking down I could see this narrow waist, and the most perfect pantie covered ass sliding along my crotch. She was pressing to my hand like a cat.

"I do."

"Yes. But not everything that makes you happy is good. Feeling good is not the same thing as good."

"But this, this IS OK. Isn't it? Mmmm," her breathing was sighs, my hands continued to roam. "Any way you touch me is the right way." She looked back at me, "It could never be wrong, just to hold me, could it? Jimmy, everywhere else, the rest of the world can have you. I understand. But I know something they don't. I want this. It can be good, for us."

I ran my hands back down over her hips, and began stroking her tummy again, downy soft skin, feeling the line of lace at the top of her panties that ran so low across her abdomen. She felt so fucking good. It could never be wrong? I began to rub her ass again. Below the waist, again following the lace of her panties, noticing her start as my hands began to pull the fabric aside and let my finger press into her ass crack down between her legs. I reached around to her front, slid my hands into her panties and continued, "I don't know. I really don't. But right now. I want THIS." And I slid my between her legs and squeezed her pussy. Held her in my palm like a ripe piece of fruit.

She turned herself around facing me, twisting my hands from between her legs. She leaned back against the counter looking down between us as I again lay my hand at her abdomen and slid my hand right down the front of her panties, running my fingers through her sex. Tickling and teasing at her. She had a little bush of hair above her pussy lips, jet black, and as I pressed between her legs could feel the wiry hairs in my palm. So fucking good. I pressed my fingers between her legs and dug into her lips, felt her wetness burst around my fingers. Her slippery wetness opening up as my fingers slid along her slit. I was feeling her, feeling her intimately, she letting me. At that moment I knew she would let me do anything to her.

She breathed out, "mmmm, Yes. Its yours." She lay her hands over mine watching me, licking her lips and then throwing her hair back as she looked at me. In a mock scolding said, "Jimmy, what are you doing?"

"Paying attention to my little girl. You got all dressed up for me didn't you?"

I pushed my middle finger inside her, and watched her eyes go vacant at my intrusion. Stroking my finger in and out. Her panties sliding down her thighs. I tugged them lower and they fell down around her ankles as she kicked them away.

"Undressed more like." She was opening her legs wide.

"I noticed."

"Yes."

And holding her there, pressing her to the counter, I stroked my hands between her legs and smeared her juices all over her pussy. Running my fingers through her slit, I found her clit and began to draw circles, pressing her little pearl first soft and then hard. Her bush undulating over my hand, her clit growing hard. She was panting and pressing down on me, moving herself against my hand, guiding me how she liked it. "Yeah, like that. Keep doing that."

-

"Oh so fucking good."

"Don't Stop."

"Faster."

-

"Yessssss."

I leaned to her as I rubbed, pressing my mouth to hers said, "So if we are going to do this. No one can ever know. Only us."

She opened her mouth kissing me, and barely able to speak, holding her mouth open, her panting and whimpers. "Hmmmm, yes." She took my lower lip between her lips the way she did, we let our tongues touch. She bit my lower lip again. I dug my fingers inside her and with both hands rubbed her pussy, fast and hard. Fucking her with my fingers, pressing up inside her almost lifting her off the ground. She leaned back, grinding herself down on me, eyes closed, "Oh God....I'm going to cum. Oh Yes. Let me cum. Oh god." She was gripping my arm. I could feel her whole body tense, "I'm...cumming." I could feel her legs giving out as she literally was sitting down on my hand, my fingers were buried up inside. I was holding her up, impaled on my fingers.

"Oh god. So goooood."

Her body began to buck forward, I held her up. Her whole body vibrating. I was so hard. I wanted to cum so bad, to press myself inside. Such a hunger. But right now, for me, the line in the sand had to be sex. I just did not want to go that far.

I felt her body relax. I took my hands out of her panties, shiny with her juices. The smell was incredible. And she stood before me, wanton, her full swollen lips, droopy sleepy eyes. She smiled such a relaxed and disheveled smile, wet, her hair clinging to her cheeks. Near naked, her body was like Venus de Milo. I continued to look at her body, her top was lifted up around her hips and I could see her little puss. I continued to rub over her bush, she watched wherever my hand went and did not move. I lightly stroke her belly and gave her breasts another squeeze.

She reached down her hand and cupped my cock in my pants, felt it's weight and traced the line of my cock. I watched her lick her lips as she did. She pushed at the tip of my cock and I groaned. It felt so good.

"Wish you could stay. I owe you," she cooed, her smile and dreamy eyes looking up at me. I held her to me. Putting my arms around her I could lay my hand over her bare ass and up her bare back. Soft skin wherever my hands wandered.

We let go of one another.

"THAT was a little below the waist." she said to me, picking up her panties and pulling them up her legs.

I couldn't believe what had happened. I needed to sit down, and pulled out one of the kitchen table chairs. I was so hard I could not stand it. Rachel eyed me, playfully straddling my lap facing me. She adjusted herself so her bottom pushed straight down against my cock, staining me with her juices. "Ohhhhh," I let out an involuntary moan. Oh god I ached. It was too much.

She,ignoring me, wrapped her arms around my neck saying, "I still wish you weren't going though. I thought you were doing this to avoid me." She waggled her ass down on me letting my cock nestle right in between her legs.

I was happy she was not mad, but as reason began to return I was certain I was moving down a path from which it would be difficult to extract myself. This was getting harder to stop, and all my thoughts of how stopping was the right thing to do, I was realizing how my feelings and libido was making it increasingly impossible. Like any addiction, you lose the ability to control or make choices at the critical moments.

Her eyes cast down in that moment. "I'm not mad. I wasn't mad. It's just, I don't feel like sharing you right now. I mean its been months of US, and all of a sudden we have this. And suddenly, you changed. I want to trust you. You didn't tell me. It's trust. I want you to be happy too. We are too much alike. I am attracted to you, I have been for a long time. There I said it, but I think you are attracted to me."

"You know we have to be careful."

"I know all that."

"And, we can NOT have sex."

She moaned and gave a little pout, waggling her ass over my cock again, "K. But there's lots of things that aren't sex." The whole time she was talking now, she was riding on my cock like a lap dance. Drawing her pussy up and down on my cock, dry humping me. "And we can kiss?"

She kissed me as I said, "Yes." Her hair falling around my face as our mouths melted together, opening and playing our tongues together. Pulling away a little she continued, "And, maybe, play around a little." Still waggling herself on me, stroking up and down my cock. Oh, god it felt so good.

"Mmmmm." I groaned.

"THIS OK?"

"Yes." I grasped her waist and began pulling her back and forth on my cock, accentuating her ride.

"M Kay." She let me pull her back and forth. "You helped me cum, it's the least I can do," she crawled off my lap like a cat and got onto her knees, unbuckling my belt, and her hands found the zipper of my pants. I sat there watching, in that moment I could not contain myself. I was so hard. She pulled my cock out and held it in her hands and kissed the tip. She looked up at me and said, "I am not letting you leave here with this thing loaded."

She gave me a nice squeeze and then pushed at the head of my cock, the pressure was exquisite and I moaned, "Oh, God."

"Like that?"

She was looking at my cock saying, "I know YOU want to be inside me?" Squeezing me again.

"Ohhhh," I groaned.

She began positioning herself between my legs, looking up at me again. "I'm going to blow you Jimmy. I want to blow your mind. You can do anything you want to me you know."

She was holding my thighs, brushing the tip of my cock with her mouth. I was stroking her shoulders and feeling her, thinking, my god a blow job.

She licked my cock like an ice cream cone, and then blew on her breath over the wet trails of saliva. "Mmmm. I want this, let me suck you off."

Her face was right at my cock and she licked at the tip. Her cheeks nuzzling my shift, pressing her lips down on my cockhead, licking without taking me in her mouth. It was too wonderful for words, as I dug my fingers into her hair. She looked up at me.

"Like that?"

"Oh, you have no idea."

That connection beginning, incomprehensible.

She opened her mouth, let the head of my cock in, let it fill her mouth. I could feel her teeth grazing me, and arched my back. Oh I was inside her, her mouth. I grasped her hair and pulled her down into my lap. I wanted to toss her on her back and fuck her, take her, she would let me. I could do anything. She took her mouth off me and began licking my shaft and balls all over again. Such a tease. Licking and holding me, before pressing her lips down around me deeper, stroking me with her mouth.

"Mmmmmm."

I began holding her hair, instinctively tugging and guiding her. Her wet mouth firm over my shaft and she was moving on me up and down. The rhythm, the motion of her mouth on my cock. She tipping her head, pressing my cock into her cheeks, and back into her throat. So tight, faster and faster she was pumping me in her mouth, and I was so fucking aroused. I could feel my cum already beginning to rise. Such a good little girl. I wanted to fuck her, cum inside her body,watch her drink me in, to cum in her every way possible. She was moving on me faster, and my hands pulling her head onto my shaft, taking me as deeply as she could. I could feel my cum rising, and panting I was calling out to her. "Oh, god, baby, I'm cumming, I'm going to cum.

I felt her press herself to me, holding her mouth over my cock and then I was spraying into her, her cheeks filling with my cum. Oh god, so much I was spraying and she held herself to me. I was rocking and spasming.

I felt myself settle in my seat, my cock softening and she was still drinking, sucking on me. And then she let go. I could see the whites of her teeth, a trail of cum running down her chin. She took her hand and scooped it up and then lapped at it. Smiling up at me and she was crawling up onto my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck, and kissing me.

"How was that my little blow job virgin."

"Rachel, I...."

We were kissing again, and she was back on my lap, when the doorbell rang.

Fuck. Susan!

I froze, mid kiss, and Rachel bit my lower lip HARD.

"OW!"

She ground her pussy down over my cock saying, "Well go have fun with that Susan Bitch then," before swinging herself off my lap.

Oh god. My mind swimming. I'm tucking my shirt in, closing my pants, buckling my belt. I began to adjust myself right in front of her, shoving my cock in my pants. She, watching me with delight. The doorbell rang again. "A little trouble there?"

My lip hurt, I began toward the door looking back at Rachel, completely disheveled now. Her glassy eyes, swollen lips, tee shirt up around her waist, those pink panties that started everything. Her lips red and languorous. Not thinking clear I say, "Go change. You can meet Susan."

She set her glass down and ran past me, "Have fun on your date." And as she went up the stairs, "But no way do I want to meet her."

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Teasing Susan

As I answered the door, truthfully, I was exhausted. Worse. I was an emotional wreck and STILL horny. Worse, everything going on in my head I could not talk about with anyone. I swung the door open and smiled. Susan stepped in, and I must say, she was not in a lab coat.

She had on a lovely flower dress, it hugged her waist and swung out loose from her hips down to her knees. She had on high heel shoes. She had gone all out. A beautiful plunging neckline, she had a beauty that adult women have, soft and full. She had this long slender neck. I had never seen her like that, and her work clothes made her seem much larger than she actually turned out to be.

"You look, great! Really. I've never seen you in anything but pants and a lab coat."

"That's not true." She smiled at the compliment. "It's not every day I get to see you - Alone."

She had picked the restaurant, she had the car, the evening was in her hands. And I was perfectly ready for it to be so. Though, in the back of my mind I had this other little girl, and it felt as if she were watching, watching everything.

I realized rather quickly that this was something Susan had wanted for a long time, and my ego was becoming further elevated. After all, I had two women after me didn't I? Which was likely my third glass of wine talking as I sat at the table. Susan listened to me as if each word I uttered was fascinating. She looked into my eyes as I spoke, listening deeply, commenting, laughing, her intelligence and wit. It made me feel young and grounded. I went on about my history, "I studied my doctorate in xxxx—but it took me five years. I did not want to borrow. So glad it was so much cheaper then, if it were today I would never be a doctor." And I recounted some of the directions it all took me, and how I wound up in research and not the big bucks of practice.

She replied, "Research would have been a better path for me. If I hadn't pursued surgery I would be married today and not divorced without children."

"You can't know that. We can't know our futures." And my brief recollection of Lisa led Susan to wish she had not shared her lament. I quickly sensed her worry that my memories would blot out this evening. I felt bad, and changed the subject. "You've done what you love to do, I can tell. Besides, I can't believe you have not met other men. Guys are easy to find, women not so much."

"You know, it's quite the opposite for me. I did go out for awhile, but everyone I met remind me what it is I like. It's so rare for me to find a guy with the right - I don't know - eyes, a look, a tone of voice. I'm so easy really. But I don't want second best and my first husband was a great guy. So I took a time out, and then I took my time, and it all turned out to be my 40's."

"I don't really know what I'd be looking for in someone."

"You know, we talk so much about what we want in the OTHER but hardly any about what we bring. So I thought I would work on that, but you know what, I bring work. It scares me when I think there might be only one, and that I divorced him."

"I. I understand. I think the same. There is no going back. But really do we all become too choosy. Nothing is ever just right. Sometimes you have to say, what the hell. I just want energy in my life, new, creativity. It's ironic I work in a field that studies the brain, and somehow it can feel routine. I am not spontaneous anymore, this memory, history, this past, follows me around. The difference from when I was twenty is I lived in a world where I had no opinions of what I wanted or did not want. I was free."

"The young can make mistakes." She added.

We engaged in this back and forth small talk and I liked her then, I really did, but the energy in me was not all there. I was biting my lower lip, could still feel it throbbing from when Rachel bit me. All the wine was sort of going to my head, and I felt bad but there was just nothing I could do.