Memories of Eva: Gray

As we move faster, I ask "This what you wanted?" And I hear only whimpers, a small 'yes' And then I am pounding down and holding her to me, harder and harder. Lifting myself up, running my hard cock along her clit, my whole length. Her nails are digging into my back, pushing her down into the mattress. I reach back, cradle the small of her back and reaching lower, lower, dig my fingers into the crack of her ass, and finding her little anus press a finger in. Eva's eyes went so wide as I pressed my whole finger in. Ass fuck her with my finger and push my finger back against my cock from inside, fucking her and holding her against me with my fingers up inside. We are writhing, our bodies pressed together. We kiss, hold our mouths together on the bed. The sheets have fallen off us, and we kiss and fall down into that mattress until I feel my cum rising.

"I'm cumming," I breathe.

She is drinking me with her other mouth, her wet open mouth. I grind her against me, and she is pushing herself as hard as she can, and I can feel her quivering beneath me, these wails of pain/pleasure. Her nails dig into my skin. Tears, and short groans, "ah, ah, ah." I can feel her cunt pulsing around me, her kisses are frantic and we are one, vanishing, clinging to one another. Pressing ourselves together, consumed consuming. I spray into her, unbelievable, fill her, ribbons of cum, feel her vagina contract tight around me, pulse into my body, clinging together. One.

-------

I roll on my back and can see her lay there, not moving, one knee up and splayed open, her hand across her breast. Eyes open. No movement at all, as we lay.

God it was so natural. Why the wait? I am confused now. We have been lovers from the beginning of time. It doesn't feel like a first time, but a millionth. We know our bodies. I know hers like I know my own. I remember no sensation of where I ended and where she began. I reach my hand out and lay it on her stomach, it is difficult to explain, but in that moment it was as if she had just lay her own hand there.

I could smell sex, the heat of us, and turned myself lay my head right at her tummy facing toward her puss, her breasts at the back of my head.. She, lay her hands on the side of my face. I felt pure pleasure, no memory, no past or future, laying on her, feeling her breath, her familiar smell, my smell.

At some point she cooed out, looking at the ceiling, "We did it."

I could hear her words echo out of her body as I lay against her.

"Hmmmm."

"Wow!"

"Wow."

That was the extent of our conversation. I remember laying my hand right over the top of her little cunny, tipping my fingers between her legs a little; feeling my cum dribbling out of her, she clamping her legs around my hand; and falling asleep just like that.

********************

Sometime in the night I awoke with Eva laying on top of me.

She was straddling me on her knees and holding herself above me, leaning down and looking at me. A smile on her face, her hair fallen all around my face. It was dark again. I could feel myself get immediately hard, she could feel me swelling against her thigh, and reaching down took my cock with her hand and positioning it between her legs, sat right down on me. I was inside her again, and this time it felt like a dream.

She kissed me, a soft long kiss. No tongue, just the softness of her lips and lifting her ass, the rise and fall of her on my cock. I was meeting her movements, she letting me press deep inside her again before rising up and sitting on me again. Innocence, all innocence. Then pressing her hands on my chest, raising herself up, reaching her arms above her head she str–etched out, and then laying down on me again. Not moving now, just holding me inside of her.

All she said was, "I want to stay like this, forever."

I just laughed. "How long you been laying on me?"

"Not long." I felt her begin to move again, tipping her hip and making me slide up through her open legs, straddling me, feeling my cock sliding right along her clit and up inside.

She lay herself down on me again and breathed in my ear, "For a long time I never had an orgasm." I felt her slide on me so slow, "I heard about orgasms, but I worried, you know." I felt her bump her puss down against me. ".....that I would be one of those girls who would never HAVE one. I liked touching myself, and would think maybe this was it. But, I didn't think it was. It was weird, you have nothing to compare it to." She began sliding herself against me again, long slow strokes as she spoke, "Then, one day I was listening to some radio show, with a sex expert, and some girl called in who said she couldn't have an orgasm. So the expert said that there was this one trick that would never fail. Use running water in the bath! I was like wow! I mean, she was like I tried everything and no luck. So I tried it, mmmmm. And I lay there in the bath thinking... hell yes! Now I know what all the fuss is about." She began to move on me again, "Mmmmmm. You feel so good. Yum...... All that good stuff. But THIS, is so much better."

She was moving faster now, drawing these long strokes across the length of my cock. I could tell she was positioning herself, moving so that her clit was sliding right along the ridges of my cock, such long delicious strokes. I held her hips again and pulled her down harder. Her breathing was becoming ragged, her words breaking up into these fragments of pleasure, it was getting harder for her to speak.

"So I practiced...." Her words coming in gasps, "and learned ..... the longer I prolonged it ....... ah, the better my orgasms were. I like to dip my finger into my cunt, just a little. The skin around my opening is sooo sensitive." And she lifted herself up, until the tip of my cock was touching into her, sliding me around there. "To rub it just the tiniest bit... mmm." She held herself there above me, I watched her up on her knees.

"You did that all the time," I swatted her ass. "Thought you always were trying to get more."

She dropped herself down, and I arched my back, the exquisite feeling of entering her, over and over. "You wouldn't be wrong." She lay her breasts down on me and pressing her body down and back, pressing her cunt down so hard, letting me fill her as deeply as I could. ".....But, a finger in my ass, yum. Never felt that, so good. A cock in my cunt and my ass filled, yum yum. Hahaha." She giggled. "Do that again," she said wagging her ass just then, and I reached my hand back and pushed two fingers up inside and listened to her moan. Settle herself down hard.

"No where you can move now, little girl."

She moved against me, feeling me enter her from everywhere. I met her movement, began lifting her in the air, to dig my fingers in.

"My nipples are incredibly sensitive too, and my ears and my neck. I have so many places to show you. But....I think you know all the sensitive places on me. And my fingers...ahhhh." I had just pressed myself deep inside her and found her nipple with my mouth and sucked hard on her, nipping at her with my teeth. She tipped her head back, letting me, letting me do anything to her.

"Mmmmm, oh god keep doing that." We were sliding together, I was filling her every way I could, pulling her against me, holding her, tasting her.

"Just before I cum, that's the best part.....Ahhhhhh, When you know you're..... running headlong...... into it." We were fucking so hard as she gasped out her words. "Oh, god yeah." I was lifting her off the bed with my thrusts, pushing my fingers into her and sucking on her, her legs spread wide and grinding, pushing back against me.

"So many times....I'd lay there..........trying to make it last even longer, ahhhhh.....oh god.....Paul, I'm cumming. I'm going to cum. Oh, make me cum." And she dug her fingernails into me, squeezing my sides with her nails, ow ow ow. It hurt, but I kept holding her to me, thrusting into her, as she put her head down on my chest, arcing herself, trembling against me, shaking and holding herself rigid, before collapsing in my arms.

I was wild with hunger, was still fucking her, not about to stop. And taking her in my arms rolled over on top of her in one motion, until I was on top, staying inside. She was pinned back. I rose and fell on her, rose and fell. Moving my body, holding her in my arms, my cock felt so long, and heavy, she was wincing at each thrust. I was pounding her. It was too much, I was taking her.

"Ahhhh, too sensitive," she was saying. But I moved faster on her body, I could not stand it, so hungry, could feel my cum. It hadn't been so very long, but it felt so intense this time.

"Oh, a little more, just a....." And I could feel myself explode into her, held her to me and pushed down into her, losing all sense of anything. Just bodies. Oh god, it was the most incredible moment. The story, her body. This room. The way she moved, our flesh, her eyes. The pain.

It was too much, and then.....I rolled off her, she curled in my arms, and we fell asleep again.

***************

Time moved in a very strange way that night, it passed, but it was like there was no sense of it. Like being knocked out and you wake and it seems as if no time passed, but you know that it has. Or that it felt like forever. I remember having this vague sense of being awake again. Even now it sometimes feels as if it happened yesterday. Of having been asleep not so long ago. Eva was there. She was pressed tight against me, curled in my arms. The way we slept together.

My hand laying at her tummy, tipped down so my finger tips just touched the hairs of her cunt. I open my eyes a little, I could feel myself against her. I was hard. Hard because I had to pee.

I tuck my cock between her legs and she did not move. Slid my length between her legs and then tipping my cock back pressed up inside her, felt myself enter her so easily, felt myself there. She was still asleep. I split her open like a peach, her little fruit open for me, naked, I was amazed. I was still so hungry for her, was fucking her again! She was tired, sleeping. I was nearly asleep. It felt so wonderful to hold her, wrap around her, be inside her. I continued to move inside her, small little strokes, so that I could feel myself sliding inside her, know I was in her. Just her breathing against my chest. My little Eva.

I lengthened my strokes, arched my ass back and then thrusting up into her again. At some point her breathing changed, and she was moving just a little bit. A foot. A hand. And I knew she was probably awake. She gave no indication.

Maybe she was sleeping. We fucked silently, steady in that darkness, and then I felt her pushing back as well, a little bump meeting me, and then a hand on my thigh. No words.

I quickened my pace. When she started to make a little noise, sighs, I pressed deep inside and held myself there, she looked back at me for a moment and then rolled onto her front again, letting me follow her. Silently we fucked like this, she basically continued to sleep with her arms out. Barely moving, a little pressure as i bumped into her, until I could feel myself cumming in her again, she had her hand down between her legs and was rubbing herself at the same time. She kept doing that and we came in one long continuous wave of dissolution, it was wave after wave after wave, until I was almost in pain.

My body stiffened and I felt as if I had filled her again with cum, she was drinking me. I had a vague thought of wondering if she were on birth control. She had so much cum in her right now. I thought of making her pregnant. I dropped out of her again and lay beside her.

She lay across my chest and kissed me, a soft short kiss.

"Nite," was all she said.

********************

She stayed later this morning than any other time, was looking at me when I opened my eyes. No sheet covering us, our nakedness on display. When I opened my eyes, she smiled, said "Hi." A tired happy glow over her. Knowing the night before.

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She began to speak intently with me, "I think about how we are going to end up. How our relationship will grow, what it will grow into. In time. What do you think?"

I didn't know. This side of being lovers, the day after. She was my niece - again. All those daylight thoughts rushing back in. The sun was rising now I thought, she has GOT to get back upstairs. I looked at the clock, when the thought immediately struck me. It will never be normal. It can't.

She was oblivious to time, or the fact it was morning and she was sprawled out on my bed naked, her mother upstairs probably up by now.

"......We don't get mad at each other. Or irritated. Or bored. We don't have that humdrum feeling. It's still exciting, it will probably stay that way. It's wonderful, a blessing. We are lucky. So incredibly lucky. and hopefully from here it will just get better."

I remained silent.

"I want to go somewhere, spend a weekend with you, two or three days, just a little mini holiday."

"Mmmmm. Maybe. It's complicated." I managed to say, and she eyed me then. I took her hand. Time moving in, the light. I realized what she thought as she looked at me, a vague anger in her eyes. And so I added, "Yes. Yes, we can do that."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes Eva Yes I do."

That was truth. But the whole time I am screaming inside. 'But its gray, a gray love, not black and white.' At the same time my head is spinning out, 'Don't think about it.' 'Go with it.' 'Move away.' 'Leave.' Nothing made sense. I leaned in and kissed her, she let me.

"Do you mean it? Really?"

"Well, we somehow have to figure out how both of us can be gone at the same time, and......"

"Your serious!" She was clapping her hands together. Suddenly she saw the clock - 7:34. She jumped, "Fuck. I HAVE to go," she was rising up out of the bed, and turned on the light.

It was the first time I had ever seen her naked in the full light like that, standing by me, facing me, looking around for her pyjama bottoms - not a stitch on. It utterly took my breath away and I sat up in the bed and pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her little butt.

She stood by me, and let me kiss her stomach, nibble her, pressing her puss against my chest. She repeated several times, "I have to go." But did not move. She didn't want to go. It didn't have to end.

"I know I know," I said as I held her to me. Finally, she began to move away, back away from me. And I yielded, let her move away. She said as she tugged on her bottoms, "We can start planning......" standing up with her top still off. So natural. Comfortable. I looked up at her smiling down at me, her hair was everywhere, her checks glowing red. Her breasts.....I looked at her hips covered in the red silk. I thought of what I had done to her.

Her eyes, looking deep into me, like my own.

I had never loved anyone as I did at that very moment. We would be lovers forever. I knew that, young love. It was a gift, I wasn't young anymore. It felt absurd. But that day can never be repeated again.

Before she left she said, "I love to think about this, being all yours for two days and two nights? Three?? Four??? A week of nights?" And then she added, "Forever."

And then I watched her leave the room, into the light.

We never did get to go on that mini vacation.

**************

She wrote me this letter, the day I moved out of my sisters and her home, and left our little room forever.

Paul,

I really don't know the answer. And I can't just sit here waiting for it to fall into my lap. I need to make a decision instead of waiting for the decision to be made for me. Today you told me you have something you want to talk about. I don't know what that means, I'm assuming it has to do with our argument, but I don't know. Half of me hopes that you'll say, let's just take a break for awhile, see other people.

The other half of me is terrified to not have you in my life. You will leave today and I am not there to say goodbye. My brain keeps trying to tell me, you need to experience! Live!!! You only have one life and you need to get out there and live it! Be wild and crazy! Don't attach yourself to one person, to one impossible relationship. But it's not like we have to be 'attached' is it? It's not like we need to be married. I could 'rent' a room from youI really don't know. We CAN see other people, and still be together in secret (can't we?). I don't know. It's just confusing, and I'm afraid this confusion is only going to get worse. I don't want you to go.

I love how attractive you find me, your lust - for me. Sigh. Like I said, I'm a hopeless romantic. What WE have together is something I do not have anywhere else. It is SPECIAL. Wanton lust. You know the inner me, the parts that don't show in everyday light, but sit somewhere just below the surface - in the dark. Sometimes just thinking about it makes me happy, glow, like when I read that story, a post-orgasmic glow. And you give that to me in lots of other ways too, hee hee hee.

And you know, when I say things like I want to be TAUGHT, it's that I want to be explored, I want to be shown the kind of pleasure my body is capable of giving. Be mastered by someone else. Broken down, put back together into something better. There is this part of me that feels good knowing I have, that I had you like this, and no one else can. I am crying, I can't help it. I'm sad today. I don't want you to go, be gone. You tell me we will see each other often, that nothing will change.

But....it is already changing.

I should stop,

Thanks

Eva

P.S.

How much do I love you? So much my heart right now is swelling up and I think it's going to pop out of me. So much, I am often surprised to find myself smiling, because I'm lost in the thought of you. So much that I would keep the secret of us forever if I had to.

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But I am getting ahead of myself