All Comments on 'What!!!'

This story was like talking about someone's life, and then the last line was then he got hit by a bus and died. The end.

5 Stars because the abruptness of the ending, and the category this was written for, made me chuckle.

Clever ending!

5

Hopefully the next paragraph was telling the husband when he got back

Actually had this happen. I was stationed in Ft. Bliss TX - met this redhead at a drive-in restaurant on Dyer St (I think). Fucked and sucked for 4 months. Same thing - one night she said this is our last date - my husband is getting out of the Army next week and coming home.

After dinner I took her to The Boom Boom Room for dinner and dancing and once on the dance floor I commented again on how we seemed to fit and she smiled.

That's a lot of food.

Sound true to life. She is a good woman to have in your rear view mirror.

Straightforward, clean and very real-life. Yes, not everything in the world is convoluted, complicated and dramatic. Again, a great, concise peace of writing from you, Bob!

Is this REALLY JBP?

A nothing story really.

Well, that was a smack in the mouth. Reads more like a Reed Richards story than JPB. Just meet, cheat, and say bye now. Next?

Nothing like getting blindsided by a woman. Of course he might have thought to ask her better questions during the earlier dates. Oh well. Done and done. Well played. A followup 750 words where he informs her husband what happened would be interesting. After all - revenge is a dish best served cold.

1. A tiny bit of foreshadowing would not be out of order, like a hint she had a husband or a hint that she was dishonest thus her disclosures could be suspected.

2. This is an excellent platform to launch one of your longer stories. I'm trying to think of some combination of characters and circumstances you haven't touched on where this piece could be a good lead in.

As most have already commented... not much of a story to speak of here.

And... that's all there is to say about it, really.

well it was short and to thew point. But needed more fleshing out. I think JPB has done better. But a fun read nevertheless .Thanks

After dinner he took her for dinner and dancing? Not only was this story about nothing in particular other than a slut being a cheating slut but you cant even proof read a story this small. All it would take is one read through for you to see errors. So you dont read your own stories?

Let the husband know. No one wants to be Jody!

Yes!

Hey, you can't write a novel with 750 words. But what you can do is set a trap, attach the bait, and wait for the rest of us to naïvely walk into it. SNAP !!!!

I loved it ... You got yourself a nice, fat 5 with this one.

A very bland, pointless story.

.

What kind of story was that? Way too short and no backbone. A 750 type, not the kind I'm use to from JBP... Not your best work but in real time, I could see this happening to some guy...

How did this get accepted? It's a nothing piece of shit that any idiot can write. Randi needs her head examined.

Ever notice how all the writers fellate each other? Just look at the comments. This was shite and you all know it.

Damn, I think I knew her! A couple of times! Thanks Bob for reminding me. Good story though, 5 stars.

somewhere east of Omaha

Whatever

Jodie......watch out. Not my favorite character in a story.

Not the worst JPB story, but it definitely feels phoned in. Also, considering that the contest theme was public knowledge, the twist was expected. Can't blame the author too much for that, though.

I enjoyed your story. (5 stars) Have you ever notice that many of the anonymous comments come from trolls who don’t have the courage to attach their name to their snide remarks. The comment section is intended to offer writers suggestions on how to improve their stories. Unfortunately, some trolls use it to insult the writer. I would be willing to bet those comments come from idiots who couldn’t write a decent story if their life depended on it. Keep writing, you did a good job with this one.

I can imagine his WTF face. 😂

Bob you running out of new ideas. You have written more stories than anyone else! Lol going forward.

This story was completely phoned in. Don't bother if you aren't interested.

I'm stunned too - 4*

...Why Bob do you incessantly write these types of endings, that leave us hanging over a cliff?

I read everything Bob writes, even though I can't stand two thirds of his stories. "Why?" you ask. Because they are so dang well written, even when the plots, as in this story, are so thin.

Take the first two sentences in this story. "I met Jennifer at a Chamber of Commerce meeting." Short, to the point, active voice, introduces the main characters, where they met and gives the reader an indication of their socio-economic status, all in nine words. That is Hemingway level brevity.

The much longer second sentence gives an immediate contrast to the first. It begins with a short, staccato phrase ending with a sharp alliteration, "She arrived a bit late . . . " You can almost see her rushing to the meeting before stopping quickly just inside the door. The sentence slows down, the words flowing smoothly with softer alliteration, ". . . and when she looked around the room . . . " The flow of the words matches the slow movement of her head and eyes as she carefully scans the room. ". . . her eyes settled on the empty chair next to me." And we are off to the races. Those two sentences make the story for me.

Bob's simple style hides a subtle complexity. It's probably why he is one of the most read writers on Literotica, despite getting so consistently roasted in the comments. He's a pleasure to read, even when you can't stand his characters.

Thanks Bob. You are one fantastic writer.

Could have told the story with a lot less words.

Not very much of anything to the story. Well, punctuation seemed fine, so there’s that.

@Annie: "Randi needs her head examined."

Well, yes, no doubt she does. My therapist would agree. I asked her who her therapist was. Imma go to him and ask who his therapist is. Work my way up until I get to the Final Boss therapist. Defeat the Boss, and I win! I don't "accept" or "reject" anything. With 800 or so stories, and having provided entertainment for everyone here, for years, Bob can write whatever TF he want, and I'll just say, "Thank you, Mr. Bob."

So, Thank you, Mr. Bob, and I look forward very much to your next story. Randi.

Shame on Bob for submitting this POS story when he's capable of something much better.

Too short, but fun just the same

Scores 3/5

It was good. But as it is with most of Just Plain Bob, the wife plays with other men without any consequences and her husband gets to be cucked without his knowledge.

It would be nice if ythey got infected with HIV! Then at least they would have a constant reminder of each other!

A neatly told story. I wonder how many times this has happened to hapless men and women?

Thanks For The Effort, . . .

What there was of it.

@mattenw: Why are you angry with the man? It seems he never knew that she is married so he is complete innocent. There is no reason at all for any punishment of the lover.

lol its hard to fall asleep with just 750 words to read but it almost happen. not sure why this was written tbh

JPB switching it up a bit with the short story! And they say you can't reach an old Bob new tricks? ;) 5/5

Damn

I would tell the husband. Cheating whore.

Not much of a story here. Even for your standards, this was not good.

You lost me at dessert

The subject area should have warned me that there was a problem coming but I was so into the story I was stunned by the final paragraph. Literally, good to the end.

I liked the part where after dinner he took her to the boom boom room for dinner and dancing. Keeping her well fed wasn't he!

JPB is a real asshole writer who loves to play around with his readers! He is like a Chinese chop shop churning out cheap imitations over and over again!

It is hard to figure out the ratio of this writer decent stuff compared to the absolute crap. There is a lot of the latter, but with such a large library,,calculations would take time. This one stinks because it both glorifies and makes a joke of wives that cheat on deployed armed service men. The military knows it has huge problem, they actively try to surpress the info and the numbers. The numbers are actually overwhelmingly bad and discouraging. So congrats on being another gutter dweller with a funny joke.

I always try to be constructive if I'm leaving a comment or If I can't be then I say nothing and just move on. Franklt, this was sh*t. Must have taken all of 10 minutes to write and was to put it bluntly, not worth those 10 minutes. Utter drivel. Sorry, but true and I know you write so much better than this.

You just left it hanging? Why oh why

Well call me Jodie! At least the guy didn't know he was cucking a serviceman until after the fact.

Smarmy bitch of a serviceman's wife though. BTB definitely in order! Nicely told story even though the tale is distasteful in the extreme. 4/5 for good writing.

What! You mean he didn't send hubby an excellent bottle of scotch with a note thanking him for the loan of his wife for the last few months! Shame on him.

What would have done? She lied On her job application. it is what it is!

Dd

Where's the end where he tells her husband?

You sure love naturalistic story endings. Almost like you want to please every reader by letting them imagine their own ending. She deserved to pay some price for cheating....

Happens more often than not. If you spend a lot of time gone and you worry about your wife being faithful, change jobs or get a divorce. But, I will give you a hint. No matter how close you look, and I have looked very close, you can't tell if a piece is missing.

And………..

Spent a career in the Marine Corps. Saw a lot of this. We called them WestPac widows. The faces changed, but the game didn't, every time a Unit deployed or came back

Double what the fiuck

As I always say, you spend time away from your SO, you deserve to be cucked.

This actually happened to me when I was in the army stationed at Ft Bliss Tx. I dated a lady for about 4 months and one night she says "This is our last date - my husband comes home from Viet Name tomorrow". I was shocked and horrified.

In a way, for me at least, that would still be a sort of betrayal. If nothing else, I would have made sure to let her husband know that the hell had been going on!

And then I let her husband know.