All Comments on 'Time's Up'

Normally, I like my bimbofication smut simple and in its place. This story left me thirsting for righteousness comeuppance. Literally and sexually speaking this piece had a promising start. For me the piece started its downward spiral toward its disappointing death around the lezy action. I took actual interst again when the herione started her revenge plot. Which normally ruins a bimbofication story for me. I really don't know why but was really hoping she'd end up on top so to speak. Id live to see a rewrite or heck I'd even like permission to take this story and give it the ending I wanted. Not really sure about writers etiquette here since im really just a reader.

( and excuse my thirsty use of literary terminology its been a long time since i tried to write anything with style. I'm far from knowledgeable with grammer and syntax and spelling and... Lol god bless literotica i may try writing smut simply because I know I'd gain immeasurable advice that i could actually put to use in other writting applications)

Thanks for the feed back. Sorry you did not like the direction I took. Honestly I just write whatever turns me on the most. Certainly you have my permission to re-write your own with a different ending.

I do sincerely appreciate any and all constructive feed back. Laurabentover@outlook.com

A lot of twists and turns here. You had me guessing where this would end up. Revenge against boorish, pathetic males or an eventual release into sexual depravity ... becoming a willing slut. Will send more detailed feedback to your Outlook. 🙂