Spice Up Your Marriage

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It forever changes oral sex and different flavours creates different tastes.

11. TOY TIME

Note: a little of this may be slightly repetitive from part 6... my apologies in advance.

Toys can be a game changer too and while this is more so for women... the evolution towards toys for men has really advanced in the past few years.

So why use them in the bedroom?

Amazing foreplay.

Variety.

More intense orgasms.

For the woman, a sex toy can really enhance the experience. Whether it is vibrator inside her pussy as you go down on her, a clit stimulator as you fuck her, or a second toy in her pussy or ass during a double penetration (for those into that sort of thing) can really drive a woman wild and lead to not just intense orgasms, but multiple orgasms.

For the man, a cock ring can make him last longer (if that is a problem he has), but a vibrating cock ring can bring pleasure to both him and his spouse during intercourse. Just recently, I mean a couple of weeks ago, my husband surprised me after giving me a great oral orgasm by putting on a vibrating cock ring (we had never used a cock ring before) that had a slim five-inch extension that curved around the bottom of his shaft. As such, when he slid inside my already wet pussy with his hard cock and toy I got the best of both worlds. A real flesh and blood hard cock and vibrating sensations... ladies, it was game changing.

Also, for the man, if he is into prostate pleasure, or willing to try it, there are a lot of great prostate toys to stimulate it both solo and to a lesser extent with couples.

By the way, watching someone masturbate can be very erotic. So, each of you should have a toy for that.

For the ladies, a quality multi-speed, multi-pattern vibe is a must. You can also have a suction cup dildo to ride if you like to fuck when you are playing with yourself.

For the men, a fleshlight is a very good masturbation tool although we can't see your full dick when using it. A vibrating cock ring is great for this and although we have not purchased it yet at it's pricy cost but a magic wand for men seems like an amazing toy for self-play (and likely couples play too).

Regardless, no bedroom should be without multiple sex toys to vary your sexual encounters.

12. ROLE PLAY

This is actually a rather hit and miss activity as both of you need to be comfortable creating new personas.

For example, not surprisingly maybe, my husband has a teacher fetish and he will dress in a football uniform or something else and I in a conservative teacher attire with, of course, much less conservative attire under the outfit, and we will create a whole bunch of different scenarios.

-football player staying after school for extra help

-teacher blackmailing student to pass

-student blackmailing teacher over something

-bumping into each other after school somewhere

Each of these creates lots of possibilities for variety and we do this for anywhere from five minters to thirty minutes depending on the conversation and slow flirtation.

We have also role played:

-cheerleader and player

-cheerleader and coach

-private school student and teacher

-nurse and patient

-Wilma and Flintstone

-Archie and Veronica (before that terrible television show)

-Velma or Daphne and either Fred, Shaggy or a bad guy

Note: In case it isn't obvious my man has a thing for cartoons.

Anyways, the key to role play is it changes up the routine. You also get to explore fantasies you will likely never get to experience in any other real life setting. Lastly, these have much longer foreplay situations which makes for potentially a lot longer and more intimate encounter.

Fun idea:

On more fun role play idea. Act like you are meeting for the first time. Meet at a bar, an airport, or a wedding... create completely different personas for each of you.

I like to pretend I'm English and have become quite good at the accent. I then litter my conversations with English words like bloke and rubbish.

When we are in the bedroom and he is caressing my tights or hold ups (what the English call them) I continue to use as many English naughty words as I can.

No matter what you do this is a fun way to really mix it up, with or without the English accent.

We have done this the last the last two times we were at a wedding, (I even missed the first dance and one I was supposed to be in because I was getting buggered in a bathroom on the secluded second floor of the hotel), the last time we flew somewhere, one night in Paris, and just recently when we were going to a family reunion and stopped in a town to stay the night in the middle of nowhere.

13. Play with Food

Don't be shy to use food. While porn films show women fucking themselves with unimaginable large cucumbers or other phallic vegetables... I was thinking more simple additions.

Ice:

When a man slowly moving an ice cube down my chest area and towards my pussy drives me wild.

For my man... sucking on an ice cube and then giving him head really enhances the blow job... as does teasing him by rolling an ice cube up and down his shaft.

Syrup:

Yes, this is sticky. Yet, it can rally enhance a lengthy marathon love making session. I love chocolate and will pour some all over his chest and then lick it up, putting extra on his very sensitive nipples.

He will pour butterscotch (I know a gross flavour right? But each to their own) on my chest area, my stomach and right to my pussy and slowly clean me up.

Both of these are fun foreplay.

Whip cream and strawberries (or another fruit you love):

Either one of us can put little balls of whip cream all over the body of the other... place a strawberry on top of the whip cream cloud, and then slowly and sensually eat each one.

And as already mentioned... flavoured lubricant is a MUST for any bedroom (or even a small one in the purse for those out and about adventures). I mean who doesn't want some proscetto and dick at two in the afternoon while strolling the beach of Mexico?

I'm sure there are other foods you can try. If you have any that really work for you please leave a comment at the end of the essay.

14. Different positions

I may eventually write a whole essay on this theme as it likely deserves it, but for now just some obvious thoughts.

Most couples end up using one, two or three positions over and over.

Which, by the way, makes sense.

They work.

But sticking to the variety is the spice of life concept of this essay... the best way to do that is to explore the hundreds of positions you can try.

Some new ones you will love.

Some new ones you will not.

Some will be like how the fuck would that even work.

But just trying something new together is fun.

Don't take it seriously.

Have fun.

Laugh.

Communicate.

Know when to give up if a position isn't working or isn't comfortable for one of you. Don't keep doing it if you are uncomfortable... sex should be enjoyable for both parties.

Acknowledge that this will be a lengthier encounter likely and if all goes to hell in a handbasket you can always go back to three go-to positions or do oral.

No reason you both shouldn't get off regardless of how well or how bad a new position goes.

While you can buy entire books on positions (I have a position per day book which has some great positions and some my body doesn't do that ever positions), you can find positions online and even on apps, I will offer you ten that I think are great ones to both enjoy and mixed it up a little without getting too wild.

A. The Corkscrew

This is one of our now go to positions. For one, he likes standing up during sex for some reason... I don't really.

But I do like being on my side for sex... so this one is a great compromise for what we both like.

I position myself at the edge the bed. I bend my ass so my pussy is easily accessible while I usually grab a pillow for my head. He stands on the side of the bed and slides into me.

For some reason, he tells me I feel tighter this way.

Also, I should note, he comes faster this way.

Fun variation: I will put my vibrator pressing against my clit during this position to really experience intense pleasure inside and out.

B. The Piledriver

Now I'm not sure if there is a better name for it... or an official name... but this is without a doubt my husband's favourite position and can be done pretty easily in a variety of places. Like the corkscrew he is usually standing, although not always, and I am usually at the edge of the bed.

He grabs me by the ankles, pulls my legs and feet together and then simply penetrates from this position. Because my legs are together sliding inside can be more challenging so I recommend either penetrating the vagina first or having some lube generously lathered on the penis.

Once in, he can control the depth and angle and I am his submissive fuck toy. The stimulation in this position is great for me as well.

A major bonus is he can rest his body against my nylon-clad legs, caress them and even kiss, lick and smell my stocking-clad toes.

Fun variation: he can continue to hold my ankles, spread me wide and pile drive me that way.

C. The Dragon

I love this position. For one, it is a very submissive position. I used to call it the pile driver part two... although they are very different positions and stimulations.

In this position, I lay on my stomach on a bed (this position you definitely need to be on a bed), and he lies on top of me and penetrates me from the top. (Obviously, this would be a great position for anal as well, but we are discussing vaginal penetration here).

My man will start slow, actually even moving his body in slight circular motions that find a way to stimulate my entire vagina. While doing this he is usually kissing my neck and this begins as a very intimate encounter.

Eventually, once I am begging for him to fuck me, to give it to me, to pound me, to pile drive me, the encounter shifts from sweet and sensual to raw intense fucking.

As he pounds me, his body slamming into mine with each deep thrust by body meets him as he has me bouncing around like a raggedy Ann doll. It is exhilarating and always leads to great orgasms for both of us.

Fun variation: be careful with this one as I knocked the wind out of myself when my man shifted from slow to fast... but a small vibrator or one of those new tiny clit focused toys (I need to get one of those) directly on your clit will enhance the pleasure and have you talking nasty and going ballistic when you reach orgasm.

D. Magic Mountain

This one takes a little work to get into the right position, but the rewards are great. This is one of the most intimate positions as you can admire each other's bodies or make sweet eye contact.

The man (trans or women with the strap-on) sits on their ass, bends their legs, leans back in their hands and forearms. The woman (not sure this would work well for a man) does the same thing. Each person then moves closer to each other until the penis slides inside the vagina.

This position can be slow and sensual. More a making love than a fucking. Eventually, the encounter shifts from sensual to raw as the woman can grind her clitoris on the lover's pelvis. We have tried this a couple of times... but my lack of coordination makes it never get overly smooth... as does his impatience to fuck hard. That said, it is a great position... especially for women.

E. Doggy style

I know what you are thinking? Doggy style? Not really overly interesting. Point taken. Yet, this position is overly underrated for its simplicity, and yet that is why it is such a damn good position.

I'll explain it in case we have some rare virgins reading here, but I simply get on all fours, sometimes I have a pillow before me to bury my face in when he really is giving it to me and I'm near eruption. He simply moves behind me on his knees, although he often moves to one knee when he really begins to fuck me and slides in my pussy (yes, this is also one of the best anal positions and the one we use the most the rare time I allow myself to be sodomized... I like that word. This position again puts me in the submissive position as a receiver and his cock can get incredibly deep in my pussy stimulating every erogenous touch point.

Fun variation 1: I can take some control by bouncing back and fucking him. I don't do this much and if I do not for long, but it is a nice variation and gives him a brief rest while showing him just how hungry I am for his dick.

Fun variation 2: as always, a toy can greatly assist the woman when it is placed against her clit as she is fucked.

Fun variation 3: while already mentioned, I'll repeat this is a good anal position.

F. The Wheelbarrow

Now this is a real workout for both... especially the woman. Last time we did this I only lasted thirty seconds as I just don't have a lot of upper body strength. That said, if you can do this one, even for a brief amount of time, it is worth it. Although I suggest you google it for a better image, the basic concept is the female or the bottom (this would work for make or trans bottoms really well) gets on all fours on the floor. The person doing the fucking (as I realize this would even work for women wearing a strap-on) then lifts up the person on all fours by the pelvis. This position allows the penis to go incredibly deep and at angles that stimulate unlike almost any other position. Or you can do this position besides an intense satisfying fucking, you will get a great arm workout.

G. The Seashell

God, I miss being flexible. This used to be my favourite position back in my youth although I called it the pretzel for obvious reasons (apparently there is another position called pretzel). The woman or bottom (as this would definitely be amazing for a woman or a man taking a dick) lay in their back with their legs rises way up so the ankles cross behind their head (which is something I can no longer do). The man or woman with the dick then can slide in easily and go sooooooo deep... I mean really fucking deep.

Fun Variation: use a toy on the clit to make the orgasm come quick and intense.

H. Face-Off

This one is quite intimate and the control is in thank hands, or more accurately, the pussy of the woman. The male sits on the edge of the bed or a chair. The woman sits on his lap facing him and wrapping her arms around him. Besides the fact that you can kiss him, he can kiss your neck, the woman has the control. She can choose the angle the dick goes in, she can choose the depth of entry and the part of the ride.

Fun variation: As mentioned you can make out, look deep into each other's eyes, have your hands roam.

I. Butter churned

Now I should say I have never tried this one, and alas never will at my age, body shape and lack of flexibility... alas to be young again. But described as a must in a female orgasm stimulation site this one looks amazing and I imagine would give the lady amazing orgasms.

The woman (one that could be done I imagine for bottom men or trans) lies on her back her legs raised and folded over so that their ankles are on the side of her head (you can likely see this would be challenging for many women). The man or whoever with the dick (would also work for a trans or a woman with a strap-on... or even anyone with a toy or even their fingers) straddling her legs slides in.

This one is also very submissive and the giver is in complete control. Him or her can quickly change angles to stimulate the woman's pussy differently and completely controls the depth... and I imagine this position the dick can go sooooooo fucking deep.

Another bonus you can get great eye contact and watch this one throughout for an intimate or raw experience.

Fun variation: Not my idea, but I will be trying this in another position soon, have the giver pour something delicious into your mouth like chocolate syrup, whip cream or even fruit. Apparently this will get more senses involved and increase the intensity of the experience. (Currently added to my sex fuck-it list).

J. 69

Surprised?

Not all sexual positions have to include penetration.

And, for me, a 69, is one of the most romantic and intimate positions.

Also, one of the rare positions where both are equals in the giving and receiving of pleasure.

Also, there is more than one way to do this.

Version 1: the woman lies on her back and the man straddles her. The male bends down and dines on her pussy while the woman leans up to suck that cock.

Version 2: reverse positions, with the man on the bottom his hard dick saluting the woman while the woman straddles her man's face. Of the three this is likely my favourite version although I like the third one as well. The first version kinks my neck pretty fast. I also like I can just sit on his face when I get close. Ladies if you have not grinded your pussy on another person's face you have not lived (a rare moment where I am in charge).

I love having another woman sit on my face it is without a doubt my favourite oral position... even if it occurs very rarely.

Men: allow a woman to sit on your face. The position let's the woman be in charge and you get the amazing sensation of being engulfed by her scent and also able to easily dine on her pussy... or even just have your face used for her to get off.

Version 3: lie side by side... with each person's face staring at the other's private area. The pro to this one is both can be comfortable in ways the first two can't. It also has the positive of when things get more intense the man can fuck your mouth pretty smoothly and you can grind your pussy on his face.

Fun variations:

Women: play with his balls.

Men: use your fingers.

Either: use a sex toy.

It is eventually the universal language of oral pleasure.

One more recommendation... less position based and more variety based:

Play, around the house....

Sex can get predictable. We have already established that and will add how to change that even more with number eleven. That said, one easy way to mix it up is simply to have sex in other places besides on your bed.

For one, if you have not had your pussy eaten or fucked while on top or bent over a working washing machine, you have not lived.

Regardless, you bought a house to live in... live in it.

Go down on her in the kitchen while she is cutting a salad, go down on him in the living room while he is watching a game, be intimate in the shower, and have sex against a wall in the hallway.

Mix it up.

Want to be really kinky, have sex in your children's bedroom (Ps: we have not done that).

And while I wouldn't consider myself completely a freeuse woman (a popular porn thing of late... although the scenes never have any actual plot to set up the freeuse concept), I was kind of a freeuse woman way before that was a thing.

My husband has flipped up my dress or skirt, pulled my panties aside and fucked me in various rooms in the house and while I was doing a variety of chores (dishes, laundry, vacuuming, taking a nap).

Occasionally this annoys me, as I'm not in the mood, but usually it temporarily stops what I was doing and we have sex. By the way, he is smart enough to always say something flattering as he is flipping up my dress or skirt.

The point being the more variety the more likely neither of you ever get bored.