by AZMotherLover
Still want to wank thinking about the situation. Nice job.
I've read worse first tries. I think you really need to work on your characters if you plan to continue writing. I know this is fiction, but the best fiction is almost believable. This is easy to say, but hard to remember in the middle of a story that starts to just roll off the keyboard.
It was an ok story. Having the mom say the same thing day after day got kind of tiring, though.
All happens so fast and for no reason. Why did ge suddenly jerk off in front of his mom? The story was super hot but deserved a little more work on the characters.
But for a first try it was really good and the first two stories you posted here were much better so continue please, I'm a fan.
"My son just jerked off and shot his cum on my face. What made him think he could do that?"
My question exactly. This story belongs in the science-fiction category because nothing except for mind-control or hypnosis can explain either of the characters' behavior.
@hornacek
It's a jerk off story. Maybe you should try that and you'd fucking relax. Geesh.
This is now one of my favorite stories on this site! I loved every bit of it. I don't care how "primitive" you said it was or how fast other people say it is. It was amazing. I loved the scenario and the slow progression of the acts getting hotter and hotter, and the dirty talk. Loved when the mom ate his ass.
Hahaha! I can't stop laughing. This shit is hilarious. You should write for snl
Where is your trailer park story? I saw it and it disappeared. I felt it was one of the best. That and the one with mom getting ready to audition for pornflicks. GREAT writing.
Then they discover that that's what the warm hairy hole between their mother is for--to satisfy those urges. Mommies who spread their thighs for their baby boy and let the kid blow his balls up the same cunt he came out of are the best mommies of all.
One of the best stroke stories on this site for sure. I cant believe how fast it makes me go off everytime I read it lol. Thanks man 5 stars for sure.
We have too few of these short stroke stories on literotica. It is fine with all the long ones, but sometimes one wants to go to sleep fast lol.
You don't need to do a re-write. It was great just the way you wrote it. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
a bit primitive/crude but VERY enjoyable , for what it is. NO changes need to be made, unless you want to add more to the adventures of Jack , mom and grandma. Thank you
“Story” wise it read like Hell. It read like a 6 year to wrote it. It felt like i was reading a much too long, ongoing joke ad waiting for the punch line. Which dont know if there idioms or not cus ai blew my load before i got to the end....Well player Author! You sly boots.
I loved it. More work on the characters and too easy for mom to get turned on and than to swallow his cum.
The gandmother sidetracks where the son and mom were going. Tenderness, rough play, real growth as they experiment.