All Comments on 'A Slave's Oath'

Pretty good! I look forward to reading more of your work.

Parts that got in the way for me:

1. Breasts don’t make milk unless the woman has had a baby or hormones to make her body think so (not sure if this second part is even possible - google “lactation”) Needs explanation, or elimination of the milk part.

2. It was a little confusing as far as what the trial was for (even though it was a farce for a proposal). I was wondering what Master’s crime was, and why she was a witness. Perhaps they were caught in public, or another slave accused him, etc. A preface paragraph explaining this would help the reader not wonder so much about it until the farce is revealed.

A slave finally is given her freedom even if it is in marriage to her master (or soon to be husband)? I have often wanted to read a story where a slave is finally feed from her beatings and torments. Will she be actually freed or is this a ruse to give her more torments and beatings. Will she actually be his wife and participate in others being beaten and punished just for being a submissive? Not sure how she is going to handle not being subjected to punishment 24/7. Sleeping in a real bed? Eating real food? Having other serve her? I loved the setting her master set up. Amazing what lengths that he loved her and was ready to have her leave him. Or is it really love? It would have been nice if he proposed to her and gave her a ring at that moment she said yes.

I agree that a brief intro would have helped things along to make the story flow more smoothly. It’s still possible to keep the big reveal at the end, it is a lovely ending!

Some of the kinks mentioned don’t interest me at all; watersports and hucow, and w/s specifically I find to be a turn off but I’m happy to skim past things I don’t like provided it’s not an absolute limit (Like incest stories or extreme kink)

I was surprised that she agreed to take her clothes off when the prosecution demanded it because he wasn’t her Master? So a clarification along the lines of ‘Master told me to obey anyone whilst he was present so I stripped.‘

I would have given the prosecution a big old fuck you when he said she was a slut and a whore. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being what others call a slut. It’s just sexual freedom, men get those rights automatically but women don’t. I have frothed extensively on the subject, no money changed hands so she’s not a whore either.

All round it was a good story, thanks for sharing

Tess (UK)

PS —- Re: Human Lactation ?

As I understand it it is actually possible for breasts to produce a milk like substance it’s can occur to men as well as women and is called Galactorrhea. Yeah I know it sounds a bit sci-fi but that’s the name of the condition. To get human breast milk the woman needs to be either pregnant or has given birth. It’s possible to continue providing breast milk for years after having a child provided it’s done continuously. It also acts as a contraceptive but the odds aren’t great.

Wow! What a crap load of more crap. How on earth could her Master sit there and let all those other people defile her so badly if he loves her? The writer wants us to believe that this is welcome? The slave will always be a slave. She has spent 10 years as a naked dungeon slave, eats out of a dog bowl and pees and poos in a chamber pot. He's going to put her in a mansion and she's going to run his financial empire? What a total crock. You want honesty? Where is the honesty in this? I would take the financial security and he can go fuck off.

You bet, ChloeHay! I think this one has fix-potential, and I hope you don't just move on. Your ratings will go up as people who are into the kinks here search for it and it meets their needs. The first ratings seem to come from the NEW list - which is a mixed bag of readers. Later, ratings seem to go up as people look for exactly what you're giving them. This is pretty well written - it just needs a little clarification to address some logical points.

Shadow's comment is a bit harsh, but if I were to make it a bit more constructive:

1. Master's Love: Seems like Shadow didn't pick up on Master's motivations beyond a proposal: Telling too much about Master makes him less master-y, so maybe going into how Slave unwillingly enjoys public humiliation and that Master indulges it occasionally. The abuse and public humiliation actually *is* Master's love, then. It makes more sense.

2. Mansion/Financial Empire: It was a bit of a leap to go from a slave in a dungeon to a mansion running a financial empire. However - not all subs are incompetent helpless people who just sit in dungeons all day. Some subs are people who spend their entire days running and controlling things that actually get release from giving up control. So - if there was a little background added to describe more about the sub's situation and motivations, I think that could heighten the feeling and also address the logical discrepancy.

My two bits - take 'em or leave 'em. I don't know everything. I just didn't want you to get too discouraged and give up.