Faith, Hope and Love

"Not all of it." My laptop finally finished booting and I quickly began searching for the video.

It didn't take long to find. Mom was one of those organized people. I began playing it and skipping forward until I found Ryan's performance. I guess speakers were set high enough for Ryan to hear from the living room because he seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Cool! I forgot about that video. I've come a long way since then, but I love watching myself so what the heck." You would think he was kidding, but with Ryan, not so much. I'm pretty sure Eli gave him an odd look, but I stayed focused on the video. I didn't have the patience to listening to my cousin's screeching for the entire song so I skipped ahead. He didn't like that. "Hey! What are you doing? You missed the best part!"

"Not really," Eli put in. "The best part is coming up."

"But my song is almost over."

"Exactly." Jean hid her laugh at Eli's comment in a cough while Rose and Sophie smiled. I was too focused to join them. It all went right over Ryan head.

"Back it up and let's watch again." He reached out for the keyboard and I slapped his wrist. "Hey!" I ignored him and smiled slowly when the next person took the stage for her performance carry a familiar guitar. The hair was rainbow hued and much wilder. There was also way too much makeup, but the eyes...they were the same.

"I knew it!" All five of them gave me an odd look, but once again I ignored them.

A much younger Faith looked back at me from the screen. I remember being a bit taken aback by the sight of her the first time I saw the video, especially when she started playing something classical on her guitar. I didn't have a lot of exposure back then and didn't know anyone like Faith.

She was very talented and being from a family of classically trained musicians, that's what kept my interest at first. I mean, other than the sight of her. Everything about her except her music made Faith seem alien to me at the time, but that only lasted until I noticed her eyes. I looked into them, and suddenly Faith became a real person to me. I could see her joy in sharing her music. I remember wondering what made her so different. I guess now I knew.

"Who is that? She looks familiar." Eli was frowning as he asked. Ryan looked so agitated that for a moment I thought he might run from the room instead of answering.

"That?" he cried. "That's Crazy Carrie! She hated me!"

"CC didn't hate you," his sister interjected. "She just refused to baby you like everyone else."

"Carrie," I smiled in satisfaction. "She never mentioned that people called her CC."

"Most people didn't," Jean offered. "In fact, I think I'm the only one. It was a joke between us after Ryan started calling her Crazy Carrie."

"She's very talented," Sophie observed.

"Yeah, but she was a complete bitch!" Ryan clearly didn't like her. It made sense based on what Rose told us. Besides, Faith so wasn't the type to put up with Ryan's self-absorbed shit.

"Be careful what you say. She's going to be your cousin-in-law one day." It was supposed to be a joke, but I knew I sounded serious. I guess it was because I was.

"That's Faith?" Jean asked in surprise, finally catching on.

"I knew I'd seen her before." The feeling of satisfaction was soul deep.

"Out of everything, only you would remember her eyes," Eli said, shaking his head. He was right, but it was what it was.

"Well, I whole-heartedly approve," Rose put in. "Although honestly, I never pictured you with someone like her. Don't get me wrong. CC's great, but not your type."

"That's what I said!" Eli was grinning again, but I ignored him.

"We still keep in touch occasionally via Twitter." Rose pulled out her cell phone. "Here, let me send you her link."

"Um, I'm sorry, but I'm confused." Sophie looked it too. It was understandable. "Are we talking about this CC girl, someone named Carrie or Faith?"

They're all one and the same," I answered. Sophie shook her head, but accepted it. It wasn't worth explaining.

"You keep in touch with Crazy Carrie?" Ryan sounded angry and offended as he gave his little sister an unhappy look. Rose didn't seem bothered by it.

"She was the one who convinced me to stick with the cello. I've never been a hog for the spotlight like you, but the cello helps me keep things in perspective." Rose's expression was distance as she remembered Faith's impact on her life. "You never went back to the camp, but I did. CC was a good friend. She helped me accept certain things I was starting to discover about myself." Once again, everyone in the room knew what she meant except her brother.

"But..." Ryan looked ready to argue. Sophie shushed him, literally.

"Shh! I want to hear this!" Rose blushed when she realized that the blond was watching her perform on the screen now. Jean joined them while Ryan stormed out of the room. Eli looked at me. I had my cell phone in my hand.

"So, what are you going to say?"

"I have no idea," I sighed, my frustration clear. "I'm happy I remembered where I knew Faith from and the fact that I now have a way of contacting her makes me ecstatic, but now that I can, I'm not sure I should. Faith said she needed time."

"Didn't she also say feel free to contact her if you ended up figuring out how you knew her?" He was right, but still I hesitated.

"What exactly what would you say in this situation?" My frustration wasn't getting any better. "You know, that doesn't make me sound like a stalker."

"Well, let's be honest. You are stalking her in a way."

"Thanks for the help." The sarcasm dripped from my voice, but it only made Eli laugh.

"Don't worry, you'll think of something." He slapped me on the back once more and joined the others. I remained standing there and staring at my phone.

A thousand possibilities floated through my mind, but I rejected each in turn. Finally, I started typing. Ten minutes later I was still going at it. Everyone else had left me and went back into the kitchen.

"Hey Colin," Eli eventually said from the doorway, grinning when he saw that I was still typing away on my phone. "Give the girl a break and finish up the book you're writing. It's time to go!" I looked down and groaned. He was right. I was writing too much.

"I think you may be right about the whole stalker thing," I sighed, deleted the message I'd just painstakingly written.

"Keep it simple," he offered as he walked over to me. "I think she'd appreciate it. At least, based on the way you and Rose describe her."

He was right. The time for long drawn out conversations where I told her everything I was feeling would come in time. First, she needed to accept the truth about us. I typed a single line and posted it. Eli looked over my shoulder at what I'd written.

"'I told you it was fate. Colin.'," he read aloud. "Perfect! Now let's go get drunk."

"I could really use a drink right about now, but I'm driving," I sighed in disappointment. He laughed and slapped me on the back yet again.

"Hey, you volunteered so stop your bitching."

"What's with you tonight and the slapping?" I grumbled, which only made him laugh more.

"Let's go," he said, ignoring my complaint. "I guess I'll have to get your cousin Ryan drunk instead. That could be fun."

"Don't. You'll regret it. Ryan's a light weight." I hoped Eli took my warning seriously, but based on his expression I wouldn't bet on it. "This is going to be one hell of a New Year's Eve."

Despite that, I couldn't help feeling good when I glanced back into my room. I'd left the video on my laptop. Someone had paused it at the end of Faith's song. She was looking directly into the camera. Her eyes were as incredible as I remembered.

"Faith, hope and love," I mumbled to myself, smiling contently.

**********

"You'd better pull over. He looks like he's going to blow again!"

Eli was pissed, but I had no sympathy for him. After all, it was his own damn fault. He was the one who thought it would be funny to get Ryan drunk. We'd gotten kicked out of the New Year's Eve party barely an hour and a half after we arrived because my cousin drank way too much and got sick. It wouldn't have been so bad if he made it to the bathroom, but not Ryan. No, he had to lose it all over the dance floor. Dumbass.

"We're only a block from my house," I sighed, not really in the mood to pull over yet again. "Can he make it?"

"Not likely," came the response. I sighed and pulled over to an open spot near the curb. The back door opened barely in time. This was our third time stopping.

"Put in in park," Rose said from the back seat. "We might as well walk from here. The fresh air might do him some good. I know it will me."

"God yes!" Jean agreed wholeheartedly.

Sophie was sitting in the front with me while the others got stuck in the back with Ryan. Rose and Jean because they were related to him and Eli because he was the one who thought it would be fun to buy shots for Ryan despite my warning.

"Sounds like a plan." I turned the car off and got out. The others quickly followed me.

"I'm so sorry about this." Rose was embarrassed for her brother. More because of Sophie than the rest of us. She looked at the blond and added, "I'm sorry we ruined your New Year's Eve."

"It's not ruined," Sophie insisted. I thought she was being kind until I caught the look she gave my cousin.

"Still hoping for that kiss at midnight?" I teased. Sophie blushed, but didn't deny it. Rose didn't even bother blushing. My little cousin definitely had a thing for the blond. Eli had done a surprisingly good job picking the right girl for Rose. Maybe I should give him a little slack about the whole Ryan thing.

"Can you two keep it in your pants until we get Ryan in a bed?" I groaned at Eli's comment as both Rose and Sophie gave him a dirty look. Jean actually slapped him in the shoulder. He ignored them all and looked at me in annoyance. "How about a little help? He's not my cousin!" Any thought of giving him any slack disappeared.

"And I'm not the one who pumped a light weight full of shots."

"Three shots! I only bought him three shots." Eli frustration would have been funny in Ryan wasn't in such bad shape.

"When he was already obviously drunk," Jean put in. "Just do your penance, get him in a bed and we can all bring in the New year at Colin's place." I thought Eli was going to argue, but he surprised me by giving in. Although, he didn't do it gracefully.

"Fine, but I'm going to need to get changed first. My pants and shoes are covered in his puke."

"Ugh, too much information!" Sophie cried. Eli continued to grumble as he dragged Ryan down the street. We were about halfway to my house when Rose stopped short.

"Oh! My purse. I forgot it in the car."

"I'll get it," I offered, but Rose had already turned back.

"No, it's cold out here. Get everyone inside and Ryan in bed. I'll only be a minute."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sophie offered, but she looked half frozen already. Her coat wasn't nearly warm enough for this kind of weather.

"No thanks. I'll be right back." Rose smiled warmly before continuing up the street.

We made our way down my block, but it was slow going because Ryan couldn't walk straight. I was about bite the bullet and help Eli with him when my friend lost his patience.

"This is ridiculous!" The next thing I knew Eli had lifted Ryan and thrown him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. He gave me a nasty look and added, "If he pukes down my back, you're buying me a new suit!"

We picked up the pace considerably after that, not that it stopped Eli from complaining or Ryan from moaning. I made sure I had the key to the front door ready when my house finally came into view.

"This is all your fault!" Eli snapped at me as we started walking up the path to my house.

"How do you figure?" I have to admit. I was curious as to what twisted logic he was going to use to try and pin this all on me.

"If you weren't so head over heels for that purple haired bimbo from Christmas you could have been Ryan's wingman and got him talking to some girls instead of drinking himself into a stupor."

Wow. That was pretty much from left field. It was also so Eli. Logical, but totally one sided. I would have laughed if he hadn't called Faith a bimbo. I couldn't let him get away with that. Besides, he wasn't the only one having a bad night. Frankly, I wasn't thrilled to be spending New Year's Eve in my house with two couples and Ryan, who would be no help at all.

"Hey! Ease up on the name calling," I retorted. Of course, our friendship and my mood being what they were, I couldn't resist adding, "And stop being such a jackass! Next time..."

I was about to lay into Eli for his bitching and whining, probably more than he deserved because I was feeling lonely, when I glanced toward my front porch. That's when I saw her. I totally lost track of what I was saying.

Faith was sitting on the top step, looking frozen through. She smiled at me almost tentatively when our eyes met. I guess she was a little nervous about how I'd react finding her waiting for me outside my home, but she should have known better.

I couldn't have stopped the welcoming smile that lit my face even if I wanted, not that I did. Faith's expression grew more relaxed when she saw. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to hold her in my arms. She stood and I took a step toward her, but stopped when I saw her pause as her smile slipped into a frown. It took me a moment to realize she was looking at Sophie walking next to me. I opened my mouth to explain, but Faith being Faith, took matters into her own hands.

"Sorry," Faith said in a tone that brooked no argument as she looked at the blond. "But this one is mine." Okay, so it felt weird being claimed like that and if it had been anyone else saying it, I wouldn't have taken it well at all, but it was Faith and the truth was the truth. I was hers. The thought made me feel warm inside despite the cold because if I was hers then that meant she was mine as well.

Most people might have been taken aback by Faith's abruptness, but Sophie rolled with it. The more I got to know the blond the happier I was for Rose.

"No arguments here." Sophie raised her hands and stepped back. Faith then turned her attention back to me.

"I told you I'd be back," she said matter of fact. "It's a bit sooner than I expected, but I didn't want to bring in the New Year alone." Faith was looking at me and once more I was taken with the expressiveness and beauty of her eyes.

Her smile was almost tentative again. She had to know I was happy to see her based on my reaction, but I guess she needed to hear the words. It made sense in a way. After all, Faith was putting herself out there for me and it had to scare her a little.

"Yes, you did. I'm glad too because I didn't want to bring in the new year alone either." I pulled her into a hug and took a deep breath, enjoying the scent of her as we shared warmth. "Truth be told, it saves me from having to come after you. I told myself that I'd give you a couple more weeks, but I doubt I would have made it that long."

"You wouldn't have made it to the weekend," Eli snorted knowingly. I didn't bother denying it.

"And how were planning on finding me?" Faith asked, sounding half teasing and half curious. That surprised me. It took me a moment or two to realize the truth, but when it hit me I felt oddly satisfied.

"You haven't seen my post on your twitter account, have you?" Her surprise expression was priceless. I laughed as she pulled out her cell phone. "I told you I knew you from somewhere before." Faith's found my message, shook her head in amazement and laughed briefly.

"I guess it was fate after all," she said, still a little stunned.

"Yes," I agreed easily. "But you have no idea how happy I am that you came back to me all on your own without seeing my message."

"And you have no idea how happy I am that you were able to track me down," she smiled warmly. "Although, I am curious how you did it."

"I told you. fate."

Faith shook her head again and obviously wanted a better answer, but instead of pressing she lifted her chin and brushing my lips with hers. They were ice cold, but still felt amazing against my own. I couldn't stop myself from following that up with a kiss behind her right ear and then her left.

"I guess my faith, hope and love paid off in the end," I grinned. She shook her head, but also kissed me again. This one took a bit longer. Despite how good it felt, it was right about then I noticed she was shivering. Faith must have been waiting out here in the cold for a while.

There was nothing I wanted to do more than continue to kiss her and let her know how happy she'd made me by coming, but I needed to get her inside before she turned into a popsicle.

"Let's get you warm and then we'll talk." I began unlocking the door. "This is Eli, Sophie and my cousin Jean. That's Ryan slung over Eli's shoulder." Instead of saying hello, Eli decided to be his normal obnoxious self.

"What I want to know is what did you do to my friend to make him so damn crazy about you? You're not even his type. I mean, nose ring, purple hair? Colin?" I held my breath wondering how Faith would react. I needn't have worried.

"Amazing sex. It was definitely the amazing sex," she said through trembling lips with a grin, which made Eli laugh.

"Oh, I'm going to like you!" He meant it too which made me sigh in relief because it was important to me that the woman I chose to spend the rest of my life with and my best friend got along. And yes, I was planning on spending the rest of my life with Faith, purple hair and all. Frankly, I was lucky to have her in my life and I knew it.

"I'm going to like you too," Faith replied, but then gave him a look and added, "But if you ever call me a bimbo again, you'll regret it." Her tone and expression made her words more of a promise than a threat, not that the latter wasn't there as well.

"Heard that, did you?" Eli asked rhetorically, still laughing. That when my cousin Jean stepped forward.

"Unfortunately, this one is mine," she sighed in greeting. "We all have our crosses to bear."

"I'm sorry." Faith and my cousin exchanged friendly smile.

"Hey!" Eli looked ready to defend himself, but that's when the lump draped over his shoulder started making some noises. "Oh, hell no!" Eli didn't drop Ryan, but it was a close thing. My cousin slid off Eli's shoulder and to the ground. That's when Faith got her first good look at my drunk cousin.

"Ryan?" she asked in disbelief.

"Watch his head!" Rose snapped at Eli as she ran up the path with purse in hand.

"A knock on the head might do him some good," Eli grumbled, but thankfully Rose chose to ignore it. She was too busy making sure her brother was okay.

"Rose?" Faith was clearly surprised by the sight of my cousins.

As it turns out, Ryan wasn't making noises because he was about to get sick again, although I was betting that wasn't far off. He was trying to speak and now that he didn't have Eli shoulder buried in his stomach he was finally able to get the words he was trying to out.

"Crazy Carrie! Here? No!" That's when Rose register's Faith presence.

"CC!" she cried, jumping up and hugged my girl.

"No one has called me that in a long time," Faith laughed, hugging Rose back before they both turned to Ryan. He was still mumbling something, but they ignored whatever it was and reached down, taking one of his arms each and pulling Ryan to his feet.

"Thanks CC," Rose smiled after they had her brother mostly vertical. "I'm sorry about this, but it's nice to see you again."

"You too kiddo." The affection between the two was obvious. I guess it bothered Sophie a little.