All Comments on 'The Term Paper'

Hot topic with a lot of potential. However, the spelling and grammar are horrendous. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and guess that English is not your first language. The sex was hot once it got going but it ended abruptly and way too soon. You need a followup chapter along with a good editor.

Will we see more? I would like to see a continuation of this story. They can explore mom's fantasies. Maybe go on trips as a couple. Could be good?

Is hafta even a word? Also your caps and lack of are all over the place. For you to even get 3 stars will be a miracle but I am only on page 2 and had to post this before I forgot what I was going to say. I will vote after I am done reading.

Who unlocks their car, gets in, shuts the door, THEN gets their keys out if their pocket?

Smh

Its obvious that Mother and Son want each other Badly...... I think her son needs to show his Mom with his big cock that he not only understands her but wants her as bad as she wants him. He can bring her self-esteem up by doing the things she never got before love and sex wise. They can do it now that they have opened up to each other. If his Mom looks good now can you imagine in a month or two how she will look then. Sexually turned on, get her body back in shape and show him what she really wanted all those years. Pls write another chapter or two and show what they can do together now. Thank you.

Either stop writing or take a composition class beyond the third grade AND get an editor. Your thought process and writing are horrific, this was a pain to read.

Yes, there are grammar and spelling issues throughout, and he even makes words up from scratch! Fair comments if you've paid to read, right? But none of us have. As a creative story-writing idea it's hugely original, 'interviewing Mom about sex', and maybe a better writer would have done more with it, maybe not. The fact is, it's not written too well, but it does the suspense thing pretty good, you know the 'will they won't they?' right up to the point where it seems destined to fail, and then doesn't. It also has 24 favourites already, right? I enjoyed it, despite the faults, some of you people need to remember that this is an amateur writer having a go, and also, that you're amateur critics! Keep going TG26, this story should run on a bit, and if people don't like the way you write, that's their problem!

It looks to me like a computer program is doing a LOT of the typing. Shut down the voice recognition and type the story... if you have to use the voice option, look carefully at the word choices WAIST and WASTE sound the same... I'm thinking that a lot of the errors are coming from programming shortfalls. It ain't the people, its the box!

After reading two pages of your monotonously boring story I simply gave up and zapped to the end of the story to write this comment.....Don't know or care if you had a naughty with your mother or not.............Gave you a one!.........Enough said!

This reads more like a stream of consciousness than a well constructed story. At the very least you need an editor to catch the wrong but sound-alike words that litter the first two pages. I can't comment on pages 3&4 because it was too difficult to keep reading.

I liked it, even with the spelling problems. In fact, it adds charm to the narrative. Get over yourselves, grammar-nazis.

If not for those major, and endless issues, the story has great potential. To hell with all you anti-grammar nazi nazi's. The site offers proofreaders, editors, not to mention all the members that do it on the side, for the very purpose that no one should ever have to turn in a potentially great story, only to have it posted as a shoddy piece of work. I'm willing to bet this story has over 10% of it's words in error. Quite possibly making it the single worst submission based on these errors. Sad, really, considering the lengths this site has gone to, to alleviate this very issue......submit the story for editing, then re-post it, then you'll have a fine story.

Please don't be discouraged, and never give up, as a storyteller, you have a knack for it, as an English teacher, not so much.

I go to siu!! C-Dale

first person narrative is so lame. You might as well write by numbers because good writers can write without telling and that is a feat you cannot meet. You might be able to do a better job in a third person narrative. I don't know if there is hope for you to write without telling.

1. This happens

2. then this

3. then this

4. are you still awake? This also happens.

etc

In general, this is a good story. Strong build up and good story line, however the ending is somehow rushed. The problem with a story with a good start is that you have to execute an ending to match the excitement you built at the start of the story. Its like having a good foreplay but after 10 pumps, its all over instantly.

It was the plot and the characters that kept me interested. Spellings and extra words are normal. Thank you

1. Learn to spell.

2. Learn English grammar

3. Learn Not to ramble on and on and on.....

4. Forget 1 through 3 and get a good proof reader

I read it all sometimes grammer is abit anoying but I enjoyed it now it needs a part 2

I enjoyed reading it. I do agree with the other comments that this could have used an editor. Had you used one, I am pretty sure, this would have been one the hottest stories on the site. Still, a very good read. Keep at it.

Creative story...please write more.

I put up with the poor grammar and the use of 'to' in place of 'too'. I overlooked 'nothen' in place of 'nothing', but I couldn't get past the mom tucking her knees under her butt. I hope you proof read the next one. I hope you capitalize the pronoun 'I'. It's okay to use i in a text message, but not in literature. And id is a psychological term - not the same as I'd (a contraction of 'I would'). Keep trying, just work a little harder.

This is what many men fantasize about and only a few of us ever get the chance to have. I like it!

Whiney fat adolescent. Go learn your grammar. Wait a couple of years, then find yourself a middle-aged editor.

Did you ever show up, even once, to your seventh grade English class? I could not get through five paragraphs, this was so bad. A reader should not have to translate a story into English as they read.

Go to school.

Yes...you need to fix your (not you're) English. Please keep writing and get an editor. Many of us are volunteer editors. There is nothing (not nothen) wrong that you can't learn to (not too) fix.

Lots of potential with your imagination. I also agree you could use some help with structure, grammar, and spelling. Even experienced and prolific writers have errors in their stories. At least you made an attempt, just don't be too proud to ask for some of the available help through the site. I am disgusted by the "Anonymous" critics who love to complain, if they had the courage to produce their own works there would be no need to remain anonymous. I'm certain that no one is forcing them to read anything on the site. Thank you for your story and I will continue to monitor your submissions, hoping for more enjoyable story lines to see you improve as a writer.

This reads like a first or second draft. You need to take the time away from the story so you can see the errors or get a competent editor. Your premise and story line are ham-strung by the lack of grammar, poor word choices and sloppy punctuation.

Very poor submission

Ok, I won't be so cruel as some commenters, however, with grammar this bad it made it hard to read. This became evident when I had to stop and re-read sentences such as 'My mom's house with blue shudders' , or I go to school at 'siu'. Good premise for a story, but it needs work. Good luck.

I couldn't even finish the first page. Your spelling and punctuation are terrible. Please take an introduction to writing class at SIU or get an editor.

I liked it in spit of the poor punctuation. The content was good, I'ld like to see more of this story though. What happens next did he ace his paper? Do they continue with the incestuous relationship? Dose he move back home to "take care" of his mother?

Love this story, even with the grammar mistakes.

I laughed out loud a few times to, which is a first for any story I've read on here.

Keep it up!

Yes I will be your editor, and I will even throw in my two cents when it comes to the writing itself. Also, all of you that complain that you couldn't get past the first page is rather funny. If you can't read good enough to get past the grammatical mistakes, go back to school. If you can read even semi- decently, then read the bloody story. It a great story, the description needs to be worked on, as well as grammar and capitalization/punctuation. I'll discuss it with you over email.

What does saliva have to do with it?

this is probably the worst fucking story ive ever read its god awful and the grammar and punctuation is fuck horrible learn to right and punctuate.

It sounds silly but your paragraphs are way too long. It sort of makes the story hard to get into when I am reading massive walls of text.

Your story has excellent potential, but you were very verbose. When telling a story you must not bore the reader with unnecessary length. An erotic story can, and should, be told straight forward and with minimum divergence into prattle.

Keep trying.

You need an editor. Examples:

* "to" does not equal "too."

* "Siu's right here." Should be "SIU"

* "like the shoe crazy fashionistas that's popular" Should have a plural verb ("that are") to go with a plural subject ("fashionistas")

* "your" does not equal "you're."

* etc.

___________________

Otherwise, you write with a smooth and excellently dedscriptive style. Keep it up.

I thought the opening premise was reasonable, but it went downhill very quickly. I gave up before the end of page one. By then the grammar issues far outweighed any hope I had that it would be worth the time to finish.

your, you're, to, too, two, accept, except, etc.

Some spelling errors are acceptable, but here it's just too much.

I ALMOST ENTITLED THIS REVIEW AT FIRST I THOUGHT THIS WAS WRITTEN IN ENGLISH, BUT FOUND OUT OTHERWISE" Without realizing it you aptly described not only your lead character but yourself when you wrote, "I realize that I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed" Understatement in its purest and most accurate form!!!!

IF YOU COLLABORATE WITH THIS PERSON (Tallman56) YOUR PROSE WILL DOUBTLESS IMPROVE. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK THAT IT COULD REMAIN THIS BAD OR EVEN WORSEN!!!! HOWEVER, YOU MAY WISH TO CONSIDER THE COMMUNICATION SKILLS AND EDITORIAL PROWESS OF SOMEONE WHO VOLUNTEERS TO DO FOR YOU THAT WHICH HE CANNOT EVEN DEMONSTRATE IN HIS OWN WRITING!?!?!?!?

Also, ALL OF YOU that complain that you couldn't get past the first page IS rather funny. If you can't READ GOOD ENOUGH to get past the grammatical mistakes, go back to school. If you can read even semi- decently, then read the bloody story. A GREAT STORY, (DOES NOT NEED) THE DESCRIPTION (-NEEDS) TO BE WORKED ON, AS WELL AS GRAMMAR AND CAPITALIZATION/PUNCTUATION.

The vast majority of criticisms I read just can't seem to get past the train wreck that is your absolute lack of any mechanical sophistication. I see you have followed up this with parts 2-6. God help the reader if you have not learned anything from your first abortive attempt at communicating your ideas . Many allude to your mistakes. Here are most of them:

be to easy (too) (9)

(-they) (he/she) might have and how they affect (-them) (him/her) and (-their) (his/her) lives life

a sick day (-that I missed) when the assignment

the normal looking student dusk (WTF DOES THIS S__T MEAN????)

bright red melt down level on the gauge (OBVIOUSLY INTENDED TO BE DESCRIPTIVE BUT IS INSTEAD INANE BULL!!!!)

desk top (desktop)

scooted my slightly to big gut out of the sardine can of a seat racing for the exit and out into the madness that is the institute for higher education (THIS IS EGREGIOUS ABUSE OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!!)

Weaving (weaving)

except his rules (accept) (2)

blue shudders (shutters)

fashionistas (-that's) popular

Siu's (SIU's)

red blooded (red-blooded)

ass hole (asshole) (2)

some one (someone)

cars council (car’s console) (2)

help (but) get entranced

"Smoke" (smoke)

Pregnant (pregnant)

twenty one (twenty-one)

winey (whiny) (2)

automatic door closer (garage door remote) (IF IT WERE AUTOMATIC WOULD IT BE NECESSARY TO HIT A BUTTON????)

closing the door i (Closing) (I) (2)

your (you’re) (15)

expecting it (to be) locked

sound (was) coming

sitting my books down (setting)

guzzling down two thirds (of a cold bottle of water) (CAN YOU SAY BRAIN FREEZE????)

eye full (eyeful)

Tossing (tossing)

try and save (to) (2)

marshes (Marsh’s)

mini bar (REALLY A MINIBAR AT A WEDDING(?!?!?!?)

dads (Dad’s)

bride's maid (bridesmaid)

hard love (tough)

lets (let’s)

any more (anymore) (2)

Your rights (You’re right)

to look any more (read)

swaggered to her (staggered)

hook up (hookup)

button down (button-down)

a up class accent (an)

flickering (fluttering)

we were rollen (rolling)

fucken (fucking)

Where are we going baby (VIRTUALLY EVERY QUESTION ENDS WITH A QUESTION MARK{?}!!!!)

mom (Mom) (39)

master works (masterworks)

concierges (concierge)

excepted (accepted)

knock out (knockout)

id (ID)

nothen (nothing) (30)

Ill (I’ll)

ill (I’ll) (2)

sat the menu (set) (5)

tuff (tough) (2)

there partners (their) (2)

nut shell (nutshell)

dambedest (damnset)

a little of an effect (an effect)

hang ups (hang-ups) (3)

turn ons (turn-ons)

god knows (God) (5)

ball in your side of the pool (in your court)

housemaid sauces (housemade)

In Idaho (in)

shake a stick at (INAPPROPRIATE USE OF AN OLD SAYING IN THIS CONTEXT THE MEANING IS INDECIPHERABLE!!!!

real quick (so that) her hand (was )grasping at empty air (really) (4)

pink knock off leather (knock-off) (wallet)

billfold (bill holder)

light headed (light-headed)

dunkin donuts (Dunkin Donuts)

its gonna be (it’s)

sitting the trey (setting) (tray)

down stairs (downstairs)

note book (notebook)

reactions she might take (have)

more odd behavior (odder behaviors)

personal question (questions)

alto (Alto)

sweet heart (sweetheart) (2)

down right (downright)

Moms (mom’s)

hide away (hideaway)

pent up (pent-up)

we were though (through)

any way ( anyway)

id (I’d) (2)

dads' dick (Dad’s)

than she was driving (then) (3 )

mommas eye (momma’s eyes)

note boke (notebook)

Non-sense (Nonsense)

class room (classroom)

convincing manor (manner)

wasn't your mom (weren’t)

cunlingus (cunnilingus)

earth shattering (earth-shattering)

my self-off (myself off)

role playing (roleplaying)

street walker (streetwalker)

Any way (Anyway)

dick head (dickhead)

onto rimming (on to)

(-my) never by him

turn off (turnoff)

dad did (-to)

there (they’re)

sure as Shit (shit)

four head (forehead)

elastic waste (waist)

(-done) gave in (given in)

her (-soak and) wet cunt (soaking)

you came allot (a lot)

right intro her (into)

trimmer passing (tremor)

pussies juices (pussy’s)

Me (me)

it's nectar (its)

Laying there (Lying)

You have some good thoughts and ideas, but your language is atrociou (e.g.trimmer instead of tremor). If you had an editor, your work could be so much better.

But JESUS do you need an editor

While I enjoyed this story, your grasp of the English language is very marginal. You have grammatical and spelling errors multiple times on each page. These distracted me at first, but towards the end I just had to laugh.

I couldn't get through the second page due to the bad spelling, the completely wrong words - WTF a car's 'council'? could he mean the 'console'?' your' vs 'you're', 'to' vs 'too' etc etc etc and the 'en' ending instead of 'ing' on words.

Just too much way too many mistakes, and just incorrect language

But a good idea. Not voting on this.

What an amazing story. Some people don't understand incest sex but the stories that are told are some of the most erotic and sexy. Was I was young I saw my mom's ginormous tits and they were incredible. To this day I always enjoyed looking at her naked heading into the bathroom. Don't know if she knew it but I will never forget it.

This feel like a first draft. A first draft written in one long haul without ever reading over what you just wrote down. Which is kinda impressive, given how well it turned out. I get that proof reading is sorta like homework, and this is a free resource, so we shouldn't be expecting perfection. But, well, even I gloss over most if not any comment I make on the internet, just to correct the more obvious mistakes. This story, on the other hand, has a mistake in basically every second sentence, if not more frequently.

No offense but the story seems to spin it's wheels for a long time and hard to get passed the first few pages and fell asleep several times until I finally just quit reading

"I kissed her four head" what the actual fuck? How...how do you even make that particular error? It's not a typo, it's a whole different word! The word is "forehead" not "four head".

And it's "waist" not "waste" ffs! And "we had done gave in to our true feelings"?? It's "came a lot" not "allott" and "already ready already"? Seriously? It's "tremor" not "trimmer" and I suspect you meant "Oh God, son, not "oh good son". And either "deep breaths as another orgasm ripped through her" or "deep breaths, another orgasm ripping through her". Not ”deep breaths as another orgasm ripping through her".

This could have used at least two or three more editing passes. Hot despite that, though.

Stay in college. Work on your grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. Maybe one of these days, you will finish your "Term Paper" and actually get a good grade. :-p

No need to rush into the details. The mother wants sex and hinted at being wild and kinky.