All Comments on 'The Next One Ch. 04'

Let's see how long until Allison turns into a cheating slut.

Frank is a piece of shit as are every character in this story. I keep waiting for him to man up and look into the mirror.

J P, were you in my watch pocket 40-45 years ago?? Great story, but I can't see Frank marrying Alison, no way. As for the comments already made, this is the Great J.P.B., this is loving wives, what the hell do you expect???????

Eagerly awaiting chapter five.

This story has bcomes another JPB long winded pile of shio that glorifies STUPID men. No matter what happens FRANK is still a Moron. He NEVER ever learns.

In chapter 1 Frank saves Allison from being bullied yet HE gets into trouble from his own Mom who never apologizes for falsely accussing her own son.

Then Allison lies to him about the Prom... then lies to her own parents who then berates Frank?

Sarah is a mentally ill whore who fucks her own father and pulls trains and keeps doing that while engaged. Yet Franks should stay faithful to her.

Then there is Gloria. (a national guard solider who in the WEEKS after 9-11 argued that the coming war would NOT involve Natl gaurd troops?.... come on folks)

For Frank to BLINDLY assume that Gloroi's baby is his... given what happended with Sarah and Allison makes NO sense. Frank NEVER asks and he internally never wonders.

*** Again ALL of these Life experiences have NO impact at all on Frank. *****

In the beginning of this chapter Frank and Allison talk.

He has been burned by GLORIA. He has been burned by Sarah. He has been burned by Sarah's Mom.

Franks states clearly that Allison's high school prom stunt where she stabbed him the back and the Bag of used condomns PROVES that she is fucking nuts and of poor character.

Then a few paragraphs later they are back to dating ??

and in chapter 5 they get married???

How??? WHY??? This sudden erratic irrational plot twists which I guess JPB calls a story line kills this story.

Gee do you think Allison will cheat?

You see no matter what Frank never learns.

I agree with other comments. This story started out pretty well, but now we find out hero is thinking with his large brain and it is located between his legs.

Oh well, I will read to the end, but at least I know not to expect any socially redeeming value.

...you did it again. Your comment in your bio made it clear that you write for your enjoyment, regardless of comments by your readers and you have done it...again and in JPB style, this is a good read!

I enjoyed this chapter, felt a little sorry for Allison but, by her own admission, she became a slut and that shouldn't have been too difficult for her being that she demonstrated her ability to suit her own needs back when he first went for military training. I didn't get the feeling that these two were back to head over heels in love and know that they can never have the innocence of their original relationship. Oh well, any chance these two had for a lifelong love was gone when Allison made her Prom decision - not to forget she admittedly and intentionally whored herself around using Frank as an excuse...character?

I had thought our hero was going to find someone and go back to being a straight up honest guy...oh well. I get the feeling that every time Allison is not around, he finds himself with a hot broad? Yes, he's young, horny and eager but I wonder, has Allisons' original Prom date caused him some pain that causes him to break with his values? Of course, he's young, I guess a stud but I think he is bewildered. I still think he values his moral and responsible character that he grew up with but - only JPB knows!!!

Thanks for not keeping us waiting for an eternity on this chapter. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter and...

Thanks again for a good story!

Allison has to be the same as the others. Of course, he is no prince either. Somehow I doubt a traditional marriage and white picket fence is in his future. Question is: Will he be okay with whatever 'arrangement' he works out?<P>

A JPB story in his own classical style. Thanks for sharing.

But he will probably stick his dick in her again in the next one(ch.05).....He at least knows Allison is a slut and than Vangie just wants his dick. He doesn't seem too torn up when his relationship's eat the shit pie, so with the exception of possible STD's, he is on top of the world. Oh to be young again....

Bob, your writing, as always, is technically well done -- most of the commas are in the right place, as are the nouns and verbs. But like Muzak after a while, this is <i> boring </i>. It's like a Soap Opera. Don't watch it for six months, then see it and it is like you never missed one day. You could take your Chapter 2, change the number to 4, publish it tomorrow and few readers would notice.

An engaging story should be going somewhere. This is reading like a diary. We know every time he blows his nose, but we really don't care. Get some purpose to what is happening, have it contribute to the over all theme -- a theme I have not figured out yet! -- and then it should be worth the reader's time. Right now, it isn't.

"Nobody's perfect" seems to sum this up nicely...

The individual parts are interesting but the overall picture is more than slightly confusing. The strength of Vangie's hold over him is amazing. I should have thought that his hormones would have shut down after the original treason.

I was expecting to see comments about clichés and déja vu since both elements are very strong in the current chapter. The déja vu in the sense that many scenes seem to be a reflection of a previous one.

<P>

I too will continue on, even though my enthusiasm is flailing. This guy never learns!

I almost never comment twice on a story, but here goes. I don't read all of JPB's stories, because they seem to be written from a formula. As one commenter said, you could change chapters and question whether anyone would notice.

There is no depth to the characters, almost no descriptions to differentiate one walking/talking pussy from another. There is nothing to like about them and for the most part nothing to dislike because they all are pretty amoral people. I think we all know this is an erotic fiction site, even if the author says it is based on a true story, but it is nice to be able to get into a character and have some concern, or empathy for them.

I am not going to compare JPB's work with any other poster, but it would be nice to see some depth to the characters, to see why Allison is different from Gloria, even if it is only hair color. For instance, do the drapes match the carpet, or is there even a carpet? Can you have an intelligent conversation with anyone of them, or are they just interchangeable sex partners?

To sum up my feelings about Bob's characters, they are shallow, self centered and generally lack the abililty or inclination to communicate with the world. Time after time, the male character just shrugs off what happens, goes into a shell and turns off his cell phone. He ignores most attempts to talk until someone, as in this story, sits in his PU and refuses to leave. How does he communicate then, sex and then more sex, but even that is superficial. You want to get married, sure, why not everyone does it and who knows it might work, but probably not. If it doesn't, no big deal, life goes on.

JPB is prolific as a writer and I applaud that, because he is head and shoulders above many authors posted here. I think he is capable of much better work and so I encourage him toward that end.

He was kinda callous to Gloria upon learning of baby, so any likeability for him disappeared, but then you JPB resurrect his manwhore as by revealing Gloria to be a big slut too, so here we are, hate frank .... Or like frank, what curve will JPB throw at us next. You've already thrown in Sarahs slitting around, group sex, incest, thank god no one has a dog or horse. Glories a slut, Vangie is a cougar, and formerly incestuous too. I vote for Allison is Bi ... Then Allison, frank and vangie move on together in a group marriage. Carry on JPB and ignore the literary critics, they live in the same dimension as the Academy Awards voting membership..... Up their pretentious asses.

with sluts all his life. Allison is just as big a slut as Sarah is and Vangie is no better. The whole idea behind this story stinks. He needs to find a nice girl to settle down with. No more sluts.

This is different!!!

dad2you2, seems he is a slut too (man whore). Good job JPB! Everyone's a slut.

Awesome story that just keeps getting better with each chapter.

I have the feeling that Allison has been fucking around on him, and her mother knows that she is a real slut.

Thanks for the good work, it's been interesting to read.

This chapter seems back to the story as it started. What occurred to me reading is that my long since departed father had a bookcase shelf full of books he got as a kid, mostly Hardy Boys and Tom Swift. I don't recall seeing Tom Swift in Slutsville, but that's what this story is.

That isn't a knock at all. Every boy, every man, wants a time in his life where whenever he is lonely for a piece a lady, young or old, walks up an drops her panties at his feet. I did like the nine-eleven segment and the political overtones of the call up. I saw the flames and smoke from the plane that hit the Pentagon and will always remember that day.

Now I can get on to today's post.

The only thing left to hope for now is that he marries Allison and then she cheats on him. He has less than no character. Is this typical for JPB?

CHEATERS HAVE TROUBLE WITH 2. TK U MLJ LV NV

JPB I'm sure you live in a wonderful world but where in the fuck is it

This is what is commonly known as a "Cluster Fuck". And Frank's in the middle. He better learn how to dig a foxhole and bring a steel cover for it. Bad things are coming his way.

The way it is written, Frank is meeting some fucked up women. I hope that Bob lets him come out of it OK.

Everyone in this story is so disgusting!

I hope they all kill each other and stop the genetic mutations from spreading!

Since Frank is such a flaming as swipe, I don't want to be him anymore.

But more sober -- not so fun/funny as previously.

LOTS of cheating in JPB stories. Some explanation in For Those Who Wondered on his Submissions page. This (same content) is also available as Open Letter from Just Plain Bob in Literotica Discussion Board, but it is easier to access from his Submissions page.

Some readers do not see this going anywhere. I do. Frankie keeps working his way through The Next One until he gets to THE one.

So, on to The Next One.

Paul in Oklahoma

Well, the protagonist is now a complete dick.

Interest level in this story is dropping like a stone.

This is Peyton Place on steroids! These people are all bat-shit-crazy! I love it!

Obvious he didn't learn from the first time he caught Gail,but after she told him she was pregnant and then went missing for a fortnight ,surely even for some one as dumb as him the alarm bells should have been ringing.

Guy is an asshole and should stay single.

You are a great writer, and I enjoy most of your stories, but this is not one of them. To really enjoy a story I have to root for a character, and in this one I can't. This guy is the biggest asshole I've ever read about, and I cannot read any more.

I have no sympathy for him. I hope he gets what he deserves in the end. On the hand, he hangs with a bunch of high-heeled sluts so, it would be good if they end together just to avoid fucking some good man's life.

Very sick and fucked up story.

How can Vangie be so stupid as go round shagging Sarah's boyfriends?.The amount of cock Sarah is getting is going to get her a STD.,which she will pass on..

I agree that Vangie will get some disease and pass it on . This Story is getting hard to understand at times .

So Frank really screwed up when he took her away from that first frat party? She was there to get gang banged and was probably looking forward to it?