by zouzouni
More pleaseeeeee
This was good, and I want to see where the next chapter will go :)
Good read! :)
i like to say this first chapter is excellent, Ayden sounds like a very lonely man and i'm glad he found Jade. Or is it the other way? *chuckles* i don't know how her boss is gonna feel about Jade taking him away (not to mention all the other rich spoiled brats..lol) Can't wait to read more.
Donna
Good characters! Jade and Ayden are both likable. Jade is intelligent and kind, Ayden is lonely but willing to connect. I enjoyed reading this chapter and will be on the look-out for more.
I am so intrigued by this first part and so hoping to have a second part very soon. I really enjoy the characters and how things progressed. Keep up the great work.
sounds like a lovely story, and one that will develop many twists and turns, eapecialy with the guy she helped sign to a contract and his son
This story needed to be drawn out a bit: we don't know these characters well enough to understand their actions
I absolutetly love it! It seems like you're rushing it a bit though
but the nonhuman revelation happened way too abruptly. The whole story feels rushed, actually. Vampires are predators and most humans would have the survival instincts to be afraid or at least wary. I don't understand her attitude towards the whole situation. She didn't even have a moment of disbelief or shock. Maybe the reason for that will be revealed as the story goes on. I like that she is bold and surprising though. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes next.
Loved the beginning and this story definitely has the potential for a romantic and wonderful relationship! I love her spirit and his vulnerability, mostly because most lead vampire characters are usually over the top arrogant! I like how he needs a little TLC.
I thought this was a very fresh take on the typical vampire mold. It was very interesting to see the opposite roles play out in reverse of the usual dominant vaqmpire/submissive human. It was rather charming how he fumbled through the attempt to ask her to be exclusive. I wonder what fallout that will bring from miss bitch face back at the office? :) I like what you have written here and am looking forward to seeing what develops.
I really like your approach on this vampire. I like that it's somewhat romantic and sweet, and that he needs her. I hope they can find a deeper relationship then just mutual needs, and I definitely want to read more!
I like Ayden as a character. I think you did a fabulous job conveighing his weariness and sadness. He has lost the verve for life and the hope of finding it again until Jade roars into his life like a tidal wave. I am looking forward to what happens with that bitch Catlyn at work.
Very enjoyable but I do agree with some of the comments. If you ever decide to rewrite this, diving a little deeper into these characters would make it even more enjoyable. That being said I think your take on Ayden is most definitely refreshing and endearing.
Such a wonderful tale, and verrrry well told.
I enjoyed it so much, I confess that I'm hesitant to read into the series for fear of disappointment. Still, nothing ventured...
Thank you so much for sharing your storytelling.
Hmm. I'm not able to log in. Well, this is GrrrreatImagination.