All Comments on 'The Alpha Gender Ch. 01'

You write very well, except for not writing out all numbers under 100 - "23" should be "twenty-three", etc.

I'm not a fan of this "you" trend. I'm a straight woman and being told another woman is grabbing my "package" immediately takes me out of the story, so I didn't continue after that.

To Anonymous. Thanks for your response, and the advice about numbers. The reason this story is in second person ("you") and the protagonist is male is that it is intended as a treatment for a virtual novel (game) with a male player. Sorry it didn't work for you, but honestly you aren't part of the target audience. I appreciate your comment nonetheless.

I love this. I generally love most of the gender role reversal genre, but what I really like about this is that it’s well thought out, which can’t be said for a lot of the other stories in this genre. Not that there are many others, unfortunately. But I’m really loving this. Also, particularly for this genre, more world building = better.

To originalsinger

Thank you! I really appreciate your comments, and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Yeah, I'm usually left disappointed by the few I can find myself.

Wonderful keep it up

awesome

Good story, well told.

Very interesting and arousing role reversal. The attempted rape scene at the books store was surprising in a good way. I think as men, we think we can't be forced into sex by a woman because we are so biologically hardwired to be the gender that is always seeking it. I appreciate that you thought out the implications of these dynamics shifting and looking forward to reading the other chapters.

Great story / well described characters and plot