All Comments on 'Tears of the Mayfly'

a few words does not a paragraph make, and yet, you manage to fail to edit this wall of text down to a reasonable length, with you having more paragraphs than complete sentences somehow.

My mind boggles somewhat at where you get your ideas from, as they are always so well formed and clearly thought out, but as usual another lesson in excellent writing. I only hope that one day I may be able to write half as well.

Normally I love your stories but this one was a little tough for me. At my age I usually skip over the sex scenes since I know how it is done, but sex was so woven into the story itself it was hard to ignore. Still the basic concept was good and as always you are a master story teller. I only wish I could write as well as you since I have a couple story ideas kicking around my head but not the talent to write good dialog. Oh well, looking forward to your next story.

Excellent, hopefully more to follow

I almost didn’t read this as I don’t usually read SciFi, however I’m glad I did asi really enjoyed it. I’m in awe of your imagination! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Damn I love your writing! Second to NONE. Excellent story for another 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS. Thanks again!

Another fabulous story from this author. Thank you. 5*

Brilliant, as always. Excellent story and very good characters.

Your storyline's are always well thought out. Another very enjoyable read.

I really enjoy the worlds you create. Thanks again for another great story.

Another story of thought provoking intrigue You make other stories look like they go from A to B

Sounds like it's ready for an adaptation to a screenplay.

Wonderful world building as usual.

Given Bron's adventures, I kept expecting a sour turn of events, but after the events at the brothel, the positive outcome was refreshing.

As always, you build believable characters that I get attached to each time.

I'm not that familiar with non binary persons, but it was an interesting take.

I'd love more stories in that universe even if it's not with these characters.

Thanks again :)

5+ stars. I usually pass on the sci-fi offerings on Lit, but I gave this one a try since I appreciated your other work. You gave life to characters I wouldn’t have thought likely. Even the hateful Helena was a fleshed out character.

I’m an old fart and still not comfortable in the non-binary world, but a character with both a physical penis and vagina concurrently? They/them actually makes sense.

Just amazing...I loved the Bron story and then to have him show up at the end was brilliant.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about this one. Unsurprisingly, you once again did not disappoint. A very unique story, very well written. Bravo!

Beautifully written tale covering a gamut of characters. The science fiction was not too far-fetched and supplemented the trials and tribulations of the main characters. I have read some of your other works and really glad I started this one. It couldn't have been shorter but it really didn't feel like a 70K word tale.

A really great piece of work that made for compelling reading, plus all the characters were fleshed out at least somewhat, tbh it’s difficult to find a single fault anywhere or even a part that I’d have liked to have read more or less of.

The most striking part of the story for me - as a het male, was the factual but empathetic description of Sion’s differing male/female personalities and the way they integrated and/or chose which side was appropriate to help him function in different situations, I don’t know if you have first hand knowledge or have spoken to anyone involved with trans or gender fluid sexuality, but for me it read extremely well and properly conveyed the conflict I’d imagine someone would experience given the duality of their make up.

Many thanks for both writing and posting this story here on Lit BurntRedstone, it’s a no contest 5⭐️ and I’d guess I’ll be reading it again in the next 6 months. Best wishes, Ppfzz.

5 stars for this story, but I enjoyed the "Bacchus" story much more than this one. Great writing, as usual.

Epic …. A gifted writer and so every tale is a fantastic read ….. a bumpy ride through the galaxy with intense moments and breathtaking turbulent craziness or lovely thoughts and emotions ….. thank you for sharing and publishing …. Wonderful Christmas time ….. mery Christmas 🎄

Ten spaceships 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀✨💝

Brilliant! I hope tonread more of Sion and Eve

Brillant. The very best i how you describe she and he become they. A very interesting approach, that I am affraid younger generations had already overridden.

good story

Excellent! Five stars and favorited.

I have one minor bit of feedback/constructive criticism, which I also pointed out in the original Bacchus story - A masseuse is female. The masculine form of the word is masseur.

Bro, when I first started reading this story, I thought that this was going to be the darkest most evil thing you've ever written.

But no, you pulled it off. Well done!

On page 6 and just read this:

"... Daisy decided she'd make the people of Xochitl One and Two pay for their evil. She knew it would take decades, maybe her whole life, so her rescuers would be old or dead by the time it happened. She felt no remorse for that. They should have come earlier. ..."

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I don't understand. Why would she (or anyone) feel remorse over the fact that her rescuers aren't immortal, and will die before she takes vengeance on Xochitl 1 and 2? And why would their earlier arrival change their mortality? It might've made her less likely to want revenge, but what does that have to do with anything?

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1: Daisy wants revenge on Xochitl 1 and 2.

2: Her rescuers will probably die before she gets it.

3: she "feels no remorse for that"

4: they should have come earlier. (Despite the blockade?)

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Were the rescuers from Xochitl 1 or 2? If so, I can kind of understand this aside, but it's still kinda confusingly phrased. Or I'm just slow, which is entirely possible.

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I was a little hesitant, given your disclaimer, but so far I'm really intrigued by this tale! Hoping it has a happy ending despite the darkness and awfulness that takes place.

Another beautiful story. Thank-you for these wonderful characters!

At first I wasn't sure I would like this, but changed my mind. Quite a story!!!

Excellent BR, another exceptional work from the Master Storyteller. My favorite author on this site, you never fail to pull the reader into the story and bring it to life. Anony Mous

P.S. Proofreading so good that I don't recall any errors catching my attention. The duality of Sion was a bit strange to follow but was understandable.

Good story, like the first one, Bacchus, but the "they/them" stuff made it harder to read. He/she or She/he depending on which side was dominant would clear that up. Otherwise, it seems as if there are multiple people being referenced.

It was a good and entertaining story to read

Awesome story as Always mate. Took me awhile to delve into it as your warnings at the start had me skittish, but I'm glad I did.

Can't help comparing it to 'Blade Runner's. Do androids dream of electric sheep? Is that statement a Freudian slip of electric sheep being a metaphor for brainwashed or manipulated citizens? Can androids even imagine freedom anymore than ordinary people imagine a spiritual afterlife/life?

More questions than answers. Bacchus resembles an amoral hedonistic planet like Las Vegas on mega steroids. The Chancellor read like a self entitled Jeffrey Epstein. Sion/scion resembled your other strong protagonists both innocent yet accutely aware with sensitive perceptions that are survival oriented.

All your novelettes are deeply layer like onions.

Fortunately, your stories don't stink, although they may draw some tears without the death of a mayfly.

well that was a ride. some really good writing-the xochitl survivor/revenge thing bit was a tad unclear but it functioned well enough as a plot point and everythijg else was pretty solid, so meh.

Love. An onion, sweet, tart, flavour, eye watering at times, and many , many layers.