by lovecraft68
What appalling penmanship! I can only wonder what sort of deluded egotist believes people really want to wade through all that hyperbole, and then struggle through ten pages of stultifyingly pedestrian semi-literacy!
Perhaps most incredible of all... the chapters just go on and on - and on - and on.
Much like an over-flowing drain...
Put your dictionary away and stop being pretentious if you don't like the story just type "I don't like this story" Not difficult to do at all
I really thought ch. 30 couldn't be topped for drama and tense moments but this one far surpassed it! First off the way you played my heart with Megan, seeing her as a young girl bonding with her father then a decade later whoring and strung out in a strip club had me shaking my head. Your portrayel of her abrupt 360 when she was high was also well done. As for the bar fight? Amazing! as always the detail was incredible and the Mark keith showdown well done as was the final stand with he bikers. Mainly though you had my heart pounding when it looked like Meg was going to be raped on the table I admit to skiipingto the end to make sure it didn't happen because I don't know if I could have read it. Truly this is one of the darkest yet enjoyable series I have ever read here. BTW ignore that fucking idiot below me. An obvious troll who has never read the story. RH
There were points during this chapter that my heart was pounding and I rushed through it so quickly that I had to go back and read the last couple of pages again! Although I hated to see it I thought it was very realistic to have Mark take a beating, honestly had he beaten them all it would have been a bit much. I was scared for them both at the end especially Megan, I tried to tell myself something would happen to stop it, but goddamn you waited long enough! LOL. As always fantastic work and am excited to see the countdown begin. Also I don't think I need to tell you to ignore the jerk that posted earlier wonder how long he looked through his thesaurus for all those big words?
That is your logo on your website and it perfectly describes this chapter for me. Megan's disgust as she took care of the John in the strip club was damn depressing. Even her lap dance, although hot, unnerved me because it was drug induced. Mark's degrading treatment of her was horrible as well. Needless to say the fight and how close you came to having Megan raped was some seriously grim writing. Have to say that every time I think you have maxed out you somehow one up yourself. Great job and thank you for having mercy on us and not having Megan raped. God only knows how graphic you could make that.
So, this is the chapter I came back to after (mostly) having gotten over my annual Spring depression.
I can see how this chapter would be fun to write, what with all the plot twists and action scenes. Fantastic work, that. Awesome choreography. I don't know what this chapter would have been like had you left those parts on the cutting room floor, but they were VERY intense and insightful. Mark and Megan's bond is what this series is all about, right?
But, dark, dark, dark. As you said yourself, the darkest yet. But I have made the choice to ride this thing to the end, whatever that end might be - and so I shall.
Is the mistake you left in the wad o' her brother's cum matted in her hair when they came out of the 'fantasy room' that no one seemed to notice through the rest of the chapter - even when Rick was standing behind her and pulling on her hair?
Relatedly, Mark keeps mentioning that he only hurt Megan that one night they both refuse to talk about - but didn't Mark just rape Megan? (Does Megan see it that way? Or does the blame get put on the evil schizo-Mark personality?) I suppose he was trying to degrade her into getting help, but she was beyond even that in the long run.
About the voting: See, I still hate virtually everything about this series (and the list of reasons keeps growing). That would merit one star, right? But then, the storytelling is so fantastic that it merits five stars. More, really, but five is all they allow. Compromising at three stars (Liked it - keep on writing) seems wishy-washy. Since they only allow one vote, what's a body to do? Alternate chapters? Sock puppet account?
*sigh* Okay, 5 stars. Whatever.
You never cease to surprise me with where your mind leads this story.. I was on the edge of my seat barely breathing when i thought he was going to actually die trying to save her.. Your way of writing a fight scene just leaves me going omg as if i was standing there watching it all happening in front of me just as Megan was. I felt as if he were truly going to die if they managed to get him down, and the thought of what was going to happen to Megan just made me feel sick, but damn if she didnt hold her own for as long as she could once she came out of her stupor..
so very excellently done!! ~S
A good writer can entertain, but you're not a good writer. You, my dear, are a brilliant writer. I could actually "see" the fight as it unfolded in the story.
Do you know that everytime I read something that you've written, it inspires me to be a better writer. Thank you....
...it flowed from you for a reason. Clean up the errors and sematics, but keep it flowing. Good work.
The fight belongs in the story. As dose her dance. Your story flows. I have to wander, do tou have a voice too??? I swear you write about it so well.
I am completely hooked! How am I supposed to get anything else done until I finish the entire story?
You, sir are an amazing storyteller. I feel like the characters could pass me in the street and I would recognize them.
Where else can I find your writing because what is posted here will not be enough. Now on to reading the rest and getting nothing else done!
Ok, I've been withholding comments until now but I can't anymore. This is easily the BEST story I have ever read! Seriously! Anywhere!
To echo some other commenters yes, the sex sometimes gets in the way.( I never thought I'd say that in a Literotica comment!)
But wow! The character development is extraordinary.The way you bring Mark and Megan from adolescence to adulthood, their separation as children and later reunification. It's all just amazing! You sir are a true artist!
I've been hooked on this series from the beginning, but without a doubt, this is the best chapter yet.
Man I was having heart palpitations the whole chapter and forgot to breathe in some places, that was amazing! Ohhh poor Mark, Megan owes him big time for this!
Ok that was awesome best fight in ur story yet. I mean damn the Alex/mark fight was good but fucking hell.
Lovecraft,
Your little details are what make everyone see Mark and Megan seem so real to the readers. I love to read Have many books in my collection... erotica is a guilty pleasure I get here. You have brought my love of reading a great story and erotica together in SWB.
Thank you,
Fuzzy_Kbear
OH MY GOD! this is the best story I have read on this site hands down! I have read a lot of your stories on here and all of them are true works is art but this one is the shit! Reading this chapter I had a hard time putting it down in order to finish making blackberry jam can't tell you how close I came to ruíning a batch or too. Ok enough chit chat must read more!
Wow! The level of evil in this chapter makes sons of anarchy look like fucking Sesame Street. Well written!
Obviously by now the answer to the authors note has to be known. Anyone know what was mentioned but left out at the end?
BTW this is such an anazing story, sell novel I should say. Thank you Lovecraft. You are a very talented story teller and writer.
The answer to the question of what detail I missed-if the last poster returnsis in the sex scene in the back room, Mark gets cum all over Megan's hair, and with no mention of removing it, she then leaves the room and goes about the club and no one comments
I don’t care for the violence, but overall this probably was important as it could have been the turnaround for Megan to start her on the road to recovery. …and the future that we have seen a little of. You say 9 chapters left; I think it is actually 8.