All Comments on 'Separate Vacations: Parallel Lives'

I liked the first and this story as well thanks steve

Wow!

For years that story stuck with me. You did a masterful job of keeping to the original

story while bringing so many characters from other DAD's other stories. Thank you for a great read.

LOVE how you tie all the disparate characters together, and brilliantly.

I guess one question, was Tiffany a lawyer in the original version? I guess I’ll have to reread that. I thought she was in real estate or something like that. Awe well, not the first time I’ve misremembered facts (just ask my college professors... or my wife).

5-stars.

And I loved the aside about Jace.

Great job. I want to be QHML1 when I grow up.

The big problem with the reconciliation in this story and the DQS original is that the husband's value as a partner goes up dramatically, while Tiffany's craters.

I'm not just talking about material wealth, because just like with Bruce, most men don't care if a woman has money. In fact, a woman having a successful professional career is a negative, not a positive, because it will mean longer hours at the office (and in my experience, most women are terrible at handling work-related stress). Being a good provider is what women crave in a partner, not the other way around.

Tiffany starts off as a beautiful, faithful wife, who has some severe psychological issues. She turns into a complete cunt, disrespects and abuses her husband, and ends up as a slutty old size queen who fucks scores of guys throughout the story. No guy wants a worn old out whore... youth, beauty, and fertility are what the vast majority of men instinctively look for in a woman.

Why would a rich, successful guy ever get back together with her? No man would take her back after the way she treated him; it doesn't matter if Tiffany finally has a dramatic personality change, she can't erase his memories of her whoring herself out for big cocks.

Bruce is now very famous and wealthy, with hordes of beautiful women throwing themselves at him. It's just nonsense that he'd still hold a torch for his demented ex-wife after years of emotional abuse. Out of all the loving wives RAAC stories I've read, this more than any other needed to end with him marrying a lovely younger woman who could be the committed, caring wife he always wanted.

Well written, but very unrealistic, just like the original. Rich, successful men don't get back together with their bitter old ex-wife. They get themselves a perky second wife instead.

I must admit, I never enjoyed the original ending; I thought Bruce caved too easily after sex, and, if I recall correctly, she only came after him when she knew he had become a successful novelist. I haven't read it in quite a few years, but I also believe this reconciliation took a lot longer, making it much more realistic. Let's face it, she was quite the mess, and it would have taken a long time, if ever, for her to straighten herself out enough to be a good partner for him. I dont even think DQS1 had her go for counseling. Her mother was the real demon, quite mentally disturbed, an even darker character than the original.

I believe you fleshed out the story beautifully, especially with the addition of other characters from the DQS1 universe, while still being true to all of his original characters. Thank you for ultimately a more satisfying ending. I felt the love. *****

True to the original characters, very good.

...before I even start reading, I just have to express my excitement at one of my favorite stories being taken on by one of my favorite authors. Woohoo!

Drops

The top 5 Foremost RIGHT (and wrong) Literary Features Employed To to Multitudinous Effect by qhml1 in the estimable and yet oh so HUMBLE opinion of LSD : the Lord of Literotica Exegesis. 

1) What qhml1 did RIGHT : the original story tapestry was extended and embroidered upon . The conflict was delineated clearly and one of the original plot weaknesses were addressed d imaginatively like why the hell would Bruce flagellate himself multiple times listening to Tiffany and Stephen having sex via phone .

Kudos.

2) What qhml1did WRONG : Q's Bruce Davis was far too perfect and paragon of stiff upper lip, a macho paragon of perfection. The 'DQS' Bruce had self flaws and confessed right from the start of the story that he knew on some level the day of reckoning was coming. Yet he was in no way prepared for Tiffany's power play. That lesser Bruce was content to play video games, wasted time with a coterie of gamer nerds and was vocationally content in lower middle management slot in soon to be obselete video rental industry. If Tiffany hadn't given him rude wakeup call, he might have drifted rudderless stocking Redbox DVD rental boxes outside of 7 11s.

Maybe next time .

3) What QHMl1 did RIGHT .

Tiffany was due a wakeup call of her own in terms of recognizing Bruce's multiple positive qualities outside of fiscal flex and vocational ambition. She needed professional counseling and q. had her get it in his version of S.V.

What qhml1 did wrong.

Speaking as fan of multi-faceted villains : Stephen Middleton and Marge were one-trick , wannbe warhorses. George Bernard Shaw , Shakespeare and Tarentino made a point of nuancing their bad guys and often gave them memorable quotes and dialogue. Until q. shakes it up in this facet of writing - he's doomed to be Big Fish in the amateur Literotica pond.

What qhml1 did RIGHT

I don't generally believe in tit for opposing tat. But the diverse and culturally enriching world tour that Bruce took daughters on was well-conceived wrinkle and return ’swerve' on surf and turf Hawaii vacay that kickstarted marital parting of ways.

Bottom Line: I liked (sometimes a lot ), but didn't love this story. But what is unqualified is my respect for the work the author put in and effort he put in to make Tiffany's strengths evident along with her flaws. This was a long and winding road to navigate and thanks to the author's skill, he avoided getting mired in the ' she's just a bitch ' ditch.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

Really enjoyed this story. Both versions....well done.

Moby Dick indeed! I could imagine Bruce and Tiffany exchanging those curses. You know you have done a good job in character development when the reader wants to bitch-slap the two protagonists and scream: "Get over yourselves and get back together where you belong!" It is now 4:24 AM. I couldn't go to sleep until I finished this read - and yes, that was after re-reading the DQS original, at your suggestion. I didn't see how you could improve on the Grant City Saga, but you did. This story joins "The Lazy Lemon Sun" on my all-time favorites list - along with "When We Were Married". I was thrilled with the tie-in to Lew, Mona and Bill Maitland. It was like re-uniting with old, dear friends whom I haven't seen in ages.

On that subject, I have been so relentlessly teased with oblique references to the shootout at the courthouse, I am gonna go bat-shit crazy if I don't see that story in print.

DQS was probably the best writer to grace this site. If you take my advice, you will never again try to rewrite one of his stories.

I've read and are read both versions now. They are both simply Amazing.

This reminds me of the Who’s song won’t get fooled again

“Meet the new boss, same as the old boss “

Reimagining the story is great concept, except this is pretty much the same ending

Weak willed husband after a thousand words takes back heartless slut

Bravo - just perfect.

Chocolate, meet peanut butter! Q meet Q. Separate Vacations and An Unacceptable Reaction. How fun to get reacquainted with Lew and Mona and Bill, and all the references to Jace, and Got Milk, etc.

Actually, the story didn’t really get the qhml treatment till Bruce was published and took that classic qhml meteoric rise to fame and success. Until then, it felt mostly like a recap of the original, but with a turbocharged version of Bruce.

I don’t agree that the original Bruce was a wimp - just not overtly chest-poundingly BTB. In fact, I think he inflicted more hurt on Tiffany by quietly walking away from her. I did enjoy Stephen getting his comeuppance, although Bruce pretty convincingly put him in his place in DQS’s.

I’m glad you kept Tiffany a sympathetic character. Her mother really went crazy in “Parallel Lives” and thoroughly ruined her daughter in the process.

Fun and fresh treatment of a great romantic story. Thank you much.

BTW, because you referenced new (to me) events in Bill Maitland’s WWWM story, I went back to Amazon to see if DQS had added to the story, and am delighted to have found and downloaded “When We Were Married Volume 4” as well as “The Currency of Time”.

I've always been sad that "When we were married" was never finished; it's a Magnum Opus, and one of (if not the) the best stories I've read here. But I always assumed that part of the reason it wasn't finished was DQS' untimely death (it's been hinted at in the comments), though the 2015 submissions, 3 years after the last WWWM, may have put lie to that.

Please tell me that either DQS is still around, and will one day finish the story, or someone else with the skill to finish it can finish the Angel of Death saga.

Yet in real life, couples reconcile after adultery all the time. I’m afraid that your comment says far more about you and your issues than it does about QHML1’s story.

qhml1

I enjoyed DQS's tale when I first read it. I guess the mood I found myself in, I needed to read a tale with a positive finale. However, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised with your take on the Running Shoes plotline. It was great to read how the assholes like the big dicked lawyer and the psycho mother in law were fucked over but good. I also felt that that court battle over the distribution of assets was somewhat more realistic than DQS's original tale. I was personally very pleased that you developed Bruce's great American novel subplot that was mentioned but not pursued in the original tale. For me you successfully added new directions and nuances that I found engaging.

"Fuck you, you worn out old whore! Isn't there a married lawyer out there somewhere waiting for his blowjob? I wouldn't want you to get behind schedule. So many dicks, so little time, how do you manage it?"

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am! That was both barrels at the same time.

Thank you for sharing.

Great work as always. Couldn't put it down. 5

....better than the origonal.

You have always been one of my favorite authors. I feel that your adaptation of DQS1 story is equally inspired as was his. Your's shows a depth of emotion and gives more back story than does his version. Either way, both are true credits to this story style.

I thank anonymous for mentioning me in a comment on a story by Q. He is the man. His stats speak for themselves. Thanks for the now look at the DQS classic and for all the pleasure you have given us readers over the years!

What I liked about this one is it shows the flaws of MC more, and explains Tiffany’s more. Too many paint the hero as this flawless sex god wronged by an uncaring bitch. Only criticism is besides her looks and sex, what did Tiffany have as a person to deserve another chance? MC doesn’t seem the shallow type to only care about sex or money - there had to be more to why he still loved her that badly.

Let me first say that Q is one of my favorite writers. He can really tell a story.

When I first saw his name on the story, I cleared my schedule so I would not be disturbed till I finished. However, this seems to be the same story just rewritten with the same events happening in different locations. Everything built to the same reconciliation.... I guess I was expecting something different. But anyway, thanks for the story and I will still read anything that you write.

That rarest of all things: a follow up worth reading!

5 stars! Bravo! Waaaaaay cool!

Not bad at all.

I am amazed at the things people will do to each other and claim it was because they “love” them so much. In both the original and in this rewrite, her behavior is beyond reprehensible, and both authors bend over backwards to find justifications that make the reconciliation palatable - after, they have always “loved” each other. This relationship is not love, it’s pathology, and it will implode no matter how much she claims she has learned. Her cruelty to him makes reconciliation a joke, and both stories are stories of obsession and cruelty in the guise of live stories.

A reprise of a story that was pretty darn good to begin with. Qhml1's version of the initial premise takes the betrayed spouse in a slightly different direction, and that is the difference between allowing events to roll you up and spit you out, or exercising some control and retaining your ... dare I say honor? Is that too outmoded a concept?

I see the anonymous, clearly jealous and envious, troll has already scurried out of the sewer to spew his venom. Just pitiful. I hope he gets some professional counseling soon, because it must really suck to be him.

Five stars for this story, of course, and worthy of ten!

LH

She won't let HIM into the house? Since he's paying the mortgage, and HOPE both names are on the deed, he's got more right to the house than she does!

"You can stop chasing married women, especially those not directly in the firm." - Especially those NOT in the firm? I would think it would be WORSE if they were in the firm, opening the firm up to sexual harassment charges.

She wants Stephen, so why not give Bruce the divorce and have Stephen? Bruce at least initially wasn't asking for much.

"she wondered how hard he would be to handle in the future." - The fact that she still intends to "handle" him is the kiss of death. If she isn't prepared for an equal partnership, then they're done.

"Why can't we go back to the way things were?" - Because "the way things were" brought you to this point?

"I'm never giving him a chance to touch what I've earned." - That's fine as far as her having her own accounts and such, but how does her paying some household bills him "touching her money?"

Interested to see where this goes, with the case settled halfway through the story!

I don't know why, but the second half feels VERY familiar. Ah, the milk ads, that's probably the story I'm thinking of.

She wonders if there's still a chance for them, but her attitude toward "her" money and being "owned" haven't changed.

It's easy for her to "change" now that Bruce has his own money!

While obviously, IMHO, not a RAAC, I'm afraid I can't honestly buy the reconciliation. There was simply TOO much pain, TOO much hurt, TOO much humiliation to remarry. He still loved her? If you say so, but he could have loved that writer if he gave it more of a chance. He could have accepted the proposal, but dragged out the engagement, maybe live together to ascertain their compatibility.

Excellent. Well...perhaps with a tad more proofreading.

I liked the subtle but effective changes from the original. You captured DQS' tone nicely. We miss him on this site. Awesome to get more from you and, by proxy, from him.

I was about to stop reading this story!...But as luck would have it I've just finished reading it!.....I am hoping that I say the right thing...Here goes!..Nothing Ventured..Nothing Gained.....This story was 10 times better than the original it did not make Him out a Wuss....You get My Endorsement. 5 Stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Lovers will love and haters will hate. In reality few, if any, of the haters will ever have that moment of clarity like the critic "Ego" did in that cartoon movie about a rat that wanted nothing more out of life than to be a chef (before the haters start carping, Yes, I DO know the name of the movie; I simply choose to not use it). You and DQS are two of my five favorite writers posting on Literotica. The other three are HDK, Wifewatchman and Ahabscribe. Unfortunately, we have seen nothing from Ahabscribe in quite some time, and I fear that we have lost him.

It is true that your story came to the same type of ending as the original by DQS, but the journeys were different and both are an excellent read. Personally, I think it is quite daunting a challenge to take a story by a writer as skilled as DQS (or any of the other four of my five favorites) and create an ending that makes the reader happy to have invested the time in reading both versions. Congratulations on what I consider to be a job well done!

5* easy.

You captured the flavor of DQ and that was impressive. I did like this version better even though I still can't stand Tiffany, or really any of DQ's trashy whores.

You took characters that were already developed however, so you can't help but write well about women with truly vile hearts of shit, who happen to be attractive and have money.

I detest DQ's women and don't find them attractive or desirable in the least. He can write however and so apparently can you.

Thank you for writing this alternate world version as it was very entertaining.

Saw the ending coming a few pages prior. Still it was a very well done version and palus well with the original author's characters.

Nice. Very nice.

I liked this quite a bit: more than the original, in fact. I never quite bought his reconciliation in DQS's version.

A lot of typos, so some proofreading would have helped but, otherwise, a very enjoyable read. Thanks.

Q, you've outdone yourself. I enjoyed the original, but this just seemed more real and more visceral. People can grow, people can change, and time moves on. You've done a fantastic job of illustrating that. This seems very real to me - the hate, the rage, the grief: you nailed it. Thank you for a superlative effort.

Loved every part of it.

Always a fascinating tale from Q. A long difficult journey to a happy ending, with plenty of drama along the way. Thanks for writing, Randi.

Behind StangStar06, you are my favorite loving wives author ("Let Go" is my favorite story, period!). I read the first "Separate Vacations" not too long ago. Nothing personal against DanielQSteele1 as I don't read his stuff like yours (or SS06 or JimBob44), but the only way I can imagine that story got such high ratings was if his fanbase are filled with multiple accounts and they 5-starred it (or people just don't 1-star it) or there are more wimps and cucks in the world than I imagine. Because the main guy in that story was a pussy-ass cuck and the wife was the bull!! I could not stand him or that story! I could rant on and on about that story, but I digress.

This story is a godsend and a beautiful fixture to that one! It may not be total BTB, but at least the guy grew a set of nutts!! (Or, as it was said, whupped King Kong's ass and took his instead) And in this version, I'm more than satisfied with the way it ended. It was well-rounded and just fantastically placed together. Thank you so much for putting this out there! 5-stars!!

This my favorite of DQS's stories.

And you have improved upon it.

pat each other on the back for a copy paste with some divergences. you didnt bring anithyng new,you just modified the wrapper...no i think you managed to vilify the wife even more. if in dqs story i didnt see a raac here it s imposible. now start spewing bs about how dumb i am, and that i am a btb...i am a raac or btb but on condition that are believable. And no matter how much you cry and scream ,if what the guy in the story lived trough...happened to you..you would have burned her alive...this its nno raac.its obsession. there is no love involved, how can you look into your wife eyes kiss her and not remember of the phone calls and her slurping cock sounds,her photos on vacation,her disrespect...dont flag the btb crowd when they have reason. dqs and this story are asspull raac. in the end i would apologize for my grammar, english not even my third language..but i know it wil not matter

You did a great job on this one. I really enjoyed reading it

I don't know if it is complete, but DQS has continued it on Amazon.

So very well written. So emotionally taxing. Such a treat to devour morsel by morsel.

But the resolution smacked me in the face on page 5 or 6.

Thank you for writing this.

Q, you've outdone yourself. This felt very real to me: the pain, grief and fury dredged up a lot of old memories. In spite of that, I'll be recommending this to my friends. You've managed to pull in DQS's other characters, tie in a few of your own and *still* tell a beautifully nuanced story about real people. Real people, combined with time and work, grow, learn and change. You've illustrated that in a brilliant story. My hat is off to you, and to DQS for allowing you to play in his sandbox.

(Forgive me if this is a double post - I thought that i commented earlier, but I don't see it here.)

DQS published 4 books of WWWM, and more are coming. Check his fb page.

This rewriting of DQ's story is masterful. It had both sides of the coin, burn the bitch, and reconciliation in spite of the bad things that happened between them. I won't be critical as some of the so called educated commenters as I found nothing to criticize. Enjoyed the story immensely and can't wait for your next posting. Thank you.

Woodmanone

But it pulled the same strings and was probably more realistic, albeit with a longer runway to get there from. At least the protagonist got his dream in the end.

...although from a purely economic standpoint, she only proposed to him once he was a success and had a boatload of cash. He became everything she ORIGINALLY WANTED. How ironic.

I really enjoyed this, which is somewhat surprising as I also really enjoyed the original story by DQS. It is rare for an alternate ending by a different author to retain the flavor of the original work, but in this case you have succeeded admirably.

That being said, I still don’t much like the character of Tiffany.

No offense to the original writer, but this one leaves it in the dust.

I’m glad you put that ghost to rest... you’re a very talented writer in your own right. Personally the only thing that I think that you added to the story was that you made the characters more human, but I must admit that I’m surprised, and it’s really difficult to understand what it is you’d laid to rest? ( you can’t put an old head on young shoulders) thanks for a great read.

I have been reading stories on this website for several years, and I have always had a love/hate relationship with Separate Vacations. I have probably read it a dozen times, but always felt something was lacking. This version goes a long way to rectifying that. I have enjoyed your stories and thank you for taking this project on. I look forward to seeing other authors works for the current writing challenge you proposed and to see your future stories as well.

She is still only wanting him back after and because he became what she wants in the first place. She began chasing him harder after his success in advertising when she was finally respecting him for her own dreams not his aspirations as a writer

Like qhml1 I have always been a great fan of DQS's original story, and I read this take on it with great pleasure. It is well-written, full of feeling, and abounds with both differences from, and key similarities to, the original. I enjoyed it from beginning to end.

Thanks, ohio

this is maudlin, cliche-ridden, too predictable, and unoriginal, and the cameos by the other DQS characters contribute to making the writing seem unserious. The entire experience was like watching "Rocky IV" or one of the tedious Star Wars sequels. Then, there are the technical errors. If you are going to write in law and legal scenes, at least get the basics right. Plots don't have to be realistic, but it's just lazy not to get basic supporting details of the story right. It isn't that hard to do.

Sorry, but the original was far better.

This story aside, I really don't understand crudeness of much of the dialogue in this and the vast majority of LW stories - it's "ass" this, "asshole" that, "fuck, fuck, fuck", etc. in otherwise normal conversation. Not just from lowlifes, but from people who are highly educated, professional, or portrayed as otherwise intelligent, decent people. The only group I have ever encountered that talks like that in real life is a subset of the tatted-up, near-minimum-wage, low education, low IQ 20-somethings in the low rent gym I work out in, and it's not a large group (despite the gym having many thousands of members). Never in many years in academia or as a professional have I encountered anyone whose normal conversation is as pathetically and uninterestingly crude as much of what is written in LW (I've seen very occasional, high-provoked outbursts, but it has been rare).

This author has been a favorite of mine for years so I am prone to be a fanboy. Still, this particular story shows that using the same motif, different authors can end up the same in the story using different styles and taking different paths. I liked the ending of DanielQSteele1's story of the same name but I never had the sense that T understood the depths of her neurosis and its effect on Bruce, although she regretted its existence in her life. Here, there is no question that she did and that made for a more complete story. It is that completeness that qhml1 offers and for that, I am thankful (and impressed).

In your story Mona advised the protagonist how to improve the writing. Why do you ignore Mona‘s tips?

Longer, both in story length and in reconciliation time, both of which serve positively to flesh out the original. I like that some of the rougher edges were buffed a bit (e.g. Tiffany's meanness, Bruce's penchant for masochism etc.) as these were sticking points in my passes through DQS's original.

But there were few surprises, as this stayed true to the original's plotting closely enough, with the exception that by the time the reconciliation rolled around, Bruce was built up with more career successes, making their reunion one of almost equals, rather than the original's where Bruce was in ascent, but hadn't fully caught/surpassed the ex yet. That was something I really liked about the original; that Tiffany had really reformed - she initiated the reconciliation despite him being the "lesser" partner. In this version, of course she's willing to negotiate now that he's 8-figures net worth and growing.

Also the shitstomping of MIL into the dirt was wonderful. I think I added a star just for balancing the karmic deficit she ran up from the original and then added to in the first half here. If only Mort Bailey would get his, then my internal ledger would be a bit more balanced.

It was nice to catch up with the members of the DQS universe (and nicely light on Debbie).

Judging by the number of stories about successful writers on this site, this writing stuff seems to be pretty profitable. I should look into that sometime...

Good stuff Q. I'll keep reading if you keep serving them up.

The story is too linear. It goes from point A to point B, with no real personality or emotional clashes, none of the angst that can make stories in this category entertaining.

A couple of more specific quibbles:

DQS and QHM1 are both good writers; however a lot of the writing (especially earlier on) in this story seemed amateurish by their normal standards.

The character of Tiffany in the early part of the story is too shrewish to be consistent with DQS's original creation. And Stephen is too much of a parody. Its hard to believe that DQS's original Tiffany would ever have had anything to do with the Stephen portrayed here.

And lastly, since Bruce's success as an author is built on his divorce and the life of his lawyer whom he would never have met if it had not been for the separate vacation, is there any reason to believe he would have achieved success without that event?

I think the story and the trajectory of his professional success hinges on what a reader thinks about the following line from the story when Tiffany and Bruce meet at the Thai restaurant when Tiffany wanted to hire Bruce's ad agency. He tells Tiffany, "Eventually, with or without you, something like this would have happened." Bruce referring to his success as a copywriter with the ad agency, which then leads to the opportunity of becoming an author because of the connections he has made and people looked at him differently because they know he is a capable writer.

But would something have happened no matter what? My take was Bruce was going through the motions, ten years at a dead end job, writing one book after another finding no success; however, content in his effort of trying. I think most people get plenty of opportunities in life, but the difference between success and failure is recognizing the opportunity for what it is and then not being afraid to take advantage of it.

When Bruce is offered the opportunity by Vic, would he have taken it if he was still married to Tiffany? Likely not. He would have had the financial security Tiffany provided, and he would have wanted to devote his time off of work writing his novels. Also, part of the reason he said he took on the assignment with the ad agency was because he wanted something that made more money for his daughters after the divorce (he didn't want to touch the money he got in the settlement).

I don't believe without the ass kicking Tiffany gave him he would have made much of himself professionally. He was content with going through the motions. We often make major changes in our lives when we are forced or have to. The inertia of the direction he was on was not going to lead to his professional success. Tiffany's action essentially was the irritant that caused the ordinary oyster trajectory his life was on into becoming the pearl it ended up being.

Now, this has nothing to do with the issues Tiffany has, or what she did was good or not. I feel she was right in giving his ass kicking, even going away to the Hawaii part and maybe even hinting about her leaving the marriage if he didn't change. However, involving a real person, Stephen, and possibly having an affair was 100% wrong if she wanted to shock Bruce, but keep the marriage. What he did in divorcing her was completely justifiable. And really, if Stephen wasn't in the picture and they stayed together at that point he would have gone back on the same path he was on (inertia) and never become successful. He needed to cut the ties and leave the safety net that was Tiffany (finances and love) for him to become self-actualized.

And leaving aside Tiffany being proud of his success, he really needed it himself. There is a difference when he is old looking back on his life having worked at a dead end job never having accomplished his desired goal of becoming a novelist and what he had now to look back on now. I don't think that would have happened if Tiffany didn't do what she did and they didn't divorce.

Most of the story went along the lines of DQS (except this made Stephen more evil and unlikable) and I thought the slight difference wasn't the effort or the read, but the last one third there was enough variation that it was worthwhile.

You did get the financials wrong in the story. BofA hit $54 high in 2006 (before the Great Recession) and while in 2011 he would have purchased BofA stocks in the $6 range, by 2014 it was in the $17 range and not $54. Also, his financial adviser was wrong in 2011 saying it had been good to be in cash. In Feb 2009 the S&P 500 bottomed out and by mid-2011 it was up 80%, and after a small dip in 2011 it continued up a lot more since then. The Real Estate market didn't come back till much later, but stocks certainly did. Also, BofA was up more than 4 fold between Feb. 2009 and early 2010. More than the gain it had between 2011 and 2014 (less than 3 fold in more than twice the time period). Sorry, it's very nerdy of me, but I owned an investment brokerage at the time and I lived the Great Recession and the aftermath having a front row seat in the financial markets.

written and delivered. i felt every pang and pain that you delivered. love your work and this has to be your pies de resistance... so, how do you top this story?

But not as direct or entertaining as the original.

I have read both stories today!

Both are great, thank you for sharing this with us!!

"First time reading anything by the so called great Q the clique has been promoting every chance they can..."

Well, I seriously doubt that, but it's always fun to pretend.

Why don’t you pop over to his submissions page and take a look? It is wall-to-wall red H city. Actually, that might be a bad idea considering your over the top inferiority complex and jealousy issues. We realize that when you publish your own stories you struggle mightily to achieve mediocrity, so being slapped in the face by the success of your betters might be more than you can handle.

Hopefully, this posting anonymously instead of using your Literotica pen name is cathartic and saves you a few bucks on therapy.

https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1329541&page=submissions

Loved it. You took a very good story and made it excellent.

Everything you wrote happened in DQS's story as well. She made the phone calls. Actually, Tiffany was almost exactly the same in this one and DQS's. The only character that was different was Stephen was made to look much worse. In DQS's after Bruce kicks his ass (for taking part in the phone calls), Stephen keeps getting up to fight even though he knew he was outmatched by Bruce, and he jokes with Bruce about it as he continues getting his ass kicked. Bruce actually comes to admire him and says if I had met this guy differently I could have been friends with him.

I haven't read DQS' story for about two years now, but still remember that aspect. I thought this one made Stephen much more of a caricature than the original. I liked the original version of Stephen better actually.

One of the many aspects that make DQS' stories better, in my estimation is how real his characters are (even if their heroic actions may not be). In almost all of the major stories the husbands are not white knights like a lot of LW stories. Maiteland had ignored Debbie and his kids for nearly a decade before Debbie cheats and leaves him. By then even his kids had become indifferent to him. The one with Lew he had made Mona feel horrible and had completely emotionally abandoned her because she couldn't bear children. And in this with all the psychological issues Tiffany has, Bruce was 10 year working a dead end job chasing an "unrealistic" dream. In DQS' Bruce never becomes a novelist, but finds success in the Ad business.

In all of DQS' stories, the wives put up with their husbands shortcomings for years (up to ten years) before they cheat. It doesn't go with the White Knight image many favor in the LW section, but I think a much more realistic take. A lot of the lesser LW stories talk about how intelligent and loving a wife was, then she acts like a mindless uneducated trailer park trash. In DQS' stories a reasonable person can see how a worthwhile intelligent and loving wife could become bitter enough at her husband that she would want to hurt him through her infidelity. It's not just I want to fuck another man for the fun of it.

Seriously - it's very well written, very well done. Thank you.

Which I had to go find and start reading after hooked on this one, but a little lost in details. My issue with this one and others is the woman treats man like crap, every one and their dog explains that’s exactly what she did, but she is convinced she did nothing wrong?? These are supposedly smart educated women in these stories. For once, I like them to figure it out - as a real human would - a lot sooner.

I know it's not fair to say that a story that's written well and is even interesting is a waste of time, but this one is.

It took 10 pages to essentially convey that... She was a giant bitch to him, did everything possible to ruin him as a man and even a human being in general... Then she has the nerve to say HE hurt HER, and he accepts that?! Also, she fucking cheated on him, let's be real. Anyone who claims otherwise is delusional.

Best of all, they get back together after he essentially becomes what she wanted to whip him into becoming? All because she made some bullshit grand gesture? Dear god, spare me. I regret the hour+ I spent reading this, I truly do.

I really like this author, and the writing was technically well done. But TWO more dysfunctional, dreary characters I've not seen for some time. What a painful waste of time to read.

To qhm1's credit, he was working with a terrible pair of characters, so he started with some huge constraints. But I'd hoped he'd let the ex-husband actually grow a sack, rather than only pretend to.

Instead, (there's no other way to put this) Bruce stayed pathetic. Yes, the psycho bitch set fire to a pair of sneakers. So fucking what ? The only thing that got her to want him again and pretend to change was his commercial success.

She had HOW many years to demonstrate, so many times, that she is not a psycho. Without postulating truly insane infatuation, why would Bruce invest more than a picosecond in her again ? Courtesy, sure, she's the kids' mom. He should be civil, although psycho bitch hasn't ever demonstrated that. But to get back together with her? He needs to psychiatric help more than his mother-in-law did.

Good story, you even made my eyes leak a little.

Normally I sit and read stories that writers have tried to improve, wondering why they couldn't leave a good story alone.

But add one of my favourite stories with one of my favourite writers, and I have to admit that it was as good as the original - humble pie anyone?

Semester.

As previously stated, she still never "got it" until he "learned his lesson" and became the trophy husband she started out wanting to turn him into. I might've bought her contrition if it had come while he was still working at Blockbuster but as it is, it's still her evil plan working out in the long run.

I was always haunted by the sadness and pain of the original story that your work is based on but you have brought everything to a wonderful, logical and loving conclusion. I'm a big fan of everything you write! Thank You.

Not much else I can say but Wow.

Let me say first though, when I saw this story posted I was yelling from excitement. It was a well done job. Like Powersworder said and the ending of the original, Tiffany says she would've been with Bruce even if he only had a penny in his name. Both this and the original says otherwise. Both times they only get back together because Bruce becomes successful, in this one he becomes a full blown celebrity!

I loved both this and the original. It's just the ending always gets to me. I like that they reconciled. It's just the way that it happens always upsets me because they always only get back together when Bruce becomes really successful or a celebrity.

The description of what makes a good story is right on. It was fun to revisit some of the DQS1 characters and haunts. If I could find out where he is posting his stories, I'd be grateful.

One of the best if not the best I have read on this site I loved the way you added characters from other stories, You didn't change the outcome from DQS'S ending,, Just Brilliant!!!

Sorry, while the original story was a killer one, this rewrite doesn't do it justice. First, too many typos so get a better editor. Second, the worst part of the original story was the against all logic reunion and irrational disappearance of all the hurtful acts just to say that they are back together. This story multiplies that disbelief exponentially because of the more numerous slights, insults, hurt, etc. in the retelling. Lastly, the unbelieveable time compression weakness in the original story continues- everything still only takes place within couple years (no one gets 3 books published in less than 2 years. Not even StephenKing). Nonetheless, I love the original story so my rating reflects that.

...but I honestly don't know what I think. Both here and in the earlier story, the wife starts out unredeemable. Money and her own independence lead her to humiliate her husband. I don't know if those values can ever be unlearned. Good story and well told, but horribly painful and the outcome may be too good to believe.

will allow a sequel to be posted with possible events carried on to the end, TK U MLJ LV NV

both versions.

please change the outcome. Otherwise, the "rewrite" was just a copy with slight revisions.

The protagonist is still a pathological, needy punching bag. I love a good reconciliation, but criminy after that much abuse this should have been in BDSM.

In some ways this is less believable than DQS' version. The dude who almost beat his enemy to death in the bar doesn't go back to the loonytunes ex who keeps stomping on him.

Unless next time you want to write about a physically abused wife who keeps returning to her husband, and put it into BDSM. You wrote the protag had anger issues. Uhhm, no, not if he reconciled with that woman. The philanderer, although scum, was never the problem. It was the wife. Sure, she was poisoned by her mother. So what ? Do we bring a rabid animal into the house since it didn't want to be infected? Someone that pathologically manipulative as the wife doesn't ever grow up -- I've seen two, one of each sex.

An REO song covers it completely, except that the song's protagonist wisely dumped the manipulative partner:

"That ain't love, I believe you've got the wrong emotion.

That ain't love, at least it doesn't feel like love to me.

As long as I say what you wanna hear,

do what you wanna do, be who you want me to be

You think that's love, well baby that ain't love to me"

Yes, the story was fiction, but it was supposed to be a character study. It should be believable.

You took one of my favorite stories on the literotica and remixed like someone remixed lana del’s summer time song and made it a hit song, I am at loss for words man, this truly is amazing and I am glad you added back bone to the husband in the story that it desperately needed.

I would say you fared better with your white whale than Ahab. You got the beast and lived to tell the tale!" Very well done, indeed.

It explored the ramifications of the actions of the protagonists very well.

I’ve always liked this story, but I also thought it would have made a really interesting change in the plot if, when she meets Fleming, instead of asking her ex to dinner she goes after Fleming to grease the deals they’re doing.

I actually get a rewrite, but my hope remains unfulfilled. Oh well. Still a good story!

Both need alternative.

The gun shows she is unhinged. Was pretty good till the end, and loads better than steele. Steele is richard gerald south. Slutty, but brilliant women and the dumb unsuccesful men who want to forgive and forget.

.... here in quite a while! Thank you for the excellent work....

Please come back again sometime!

Can't do 5*, because I really don't care how much Tiffany changed.... her deliberate attempts to rub salt into the wounds of a man she purports to love cannot be allowed to stand... she has to die, miserable despite money, children, grands, boy toys, without the man she threw away, and tried to poison; no mercy for that bitch!

It had so much time pass, that the *parallel lives* meaning seemed that they were destined to love but not be happy. BUT SURPRISE. You put it together, and in keeping with DQS's original story and ending, your story line build-up and ending matched his, in intensity. So right, that at the end, he introduced Tiffany as his wife. I wonder if there is a final episode to tie in all the family and their lives, but mostly, what is life like for Tiffany and Bruce, now.

5 stars.

Q is one of the very best authors on this site , bar none . That said .

This really didn't do it for me .

It had a few similarities to 500 Annies and Finding an Editor, but those were LW Masterpieces , whereas this was just too ........... herky jerky is the only thing that comes to mind .

I honestly don't think your style meshes with DQS 's , Richard Gerald 's style more resembles his , in that their main protagonist seem to be the betas in their relationships , whereas I find you closer to the great Rehnquist in that you usually deliver a much more evenly matched couple .

Of course this still rates a 5 , and as always eagerly awaiting your next posting .

I was so enjoying the story, one of my favorite authors, quality writing, wonderful flow, nearly had me doing a happy dance. Then at pg 7 the two main characters began behaving like they were terminally stupid. I lost any interest in the character, story history or plot. I just cannot bring myself to care about what happens to stupid people, because stupid people do stupid thing and make for a disappointing story. But the most disappointing point was that this was coming from QHML1. Perhaps this was a forgery or someone hacked his computer. But I am sure his next story will be better.

anonjerry

Well written and a good retelling but like the original he should not have taken her back.

Nice redoing on DQS's great story.