All Comments on 'Runaway Pt. 01'

Tremendous exploration of first love. I look forward to part two.

This is going to be a great story!

You really, really are.

Even though I've already read the entire story, I immensely enjoyed reading through this part again. The plot and characterization are fantastic.

Great writing and character development! We'll be eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Thanks for the hard work for us readers and for entertaining us so well with your writing.

Waiting with baited breath for the next installment.

This is a fantastic story.

The rest is sick nasty, as well. You slay! Thanks, Randi.

What a great, intelligently written piece you have created here. Head and shoulders above the vast majority on offer. Eagerly anticipating the next installment!

This is my favorite story of all time. I can't wait for everyone else to get a chance to read all the chapters!

This story is exquisitely written! Truly a pleasure to read and I'm looking forward the the remaining parts.

Kudos!

What a superlative start.

You have caught me and I am looking forward to reading more of your stories. Hopefully the second chapter of this one will be published soon.

Thank you

Great start to a great story. Can't wait for the rest!

Not sure if will. Reading is not my strong suit so it takes tremendously longer. When I see five or more lit pages, I usually go to the comments. I'm even now more wary. Not because of negative comments, but because of glowing comments from those who had a hand in beta-reading and editing the story. Kind of feels like a little bit of overselling.

I glanced over the first page. So I had my doubts when reading the caricature of a evil preacher father and his disdain of his gay son just to make him more evil. This works well in the eyes of author's like BurntRedStone and his ilk who tends to paint people from small country towns with a broad brush. But, he's a liberal, which makes him perfect in his eyes and pretty much a good portion of the Northeast US and the West Coast. The rest of the US is just "flyover country" who should be shunned because they dare not fully subscribe to their orthodoxy.

Hate to break it to some folks, but it's OK to be gobsmacked like the preacher when his world view is shaken. I know it's happened to me. When it did I wasn't very good at handling it at first; spouse was worse. But, in time I applied the wisdom of the serenity prayer and just handed it over to God. In end I was at peace with the situations and things wound turning out better than dreaded. One may not be happy how certain things turn out, but it's easier to say "it is what it is."

Wow.

"Haven't read the story yet"

So, you seem to be upset by people that prejudge others without having a reasonable representation of who they are (ie. like all small town preachers are the same). Is that accurate?

And yet you have no problems prejudging a story and commenting on it before reading it? Does that make much sense to you?

If you're concerned about the veracity of the comments due to the beta-readers or editors (or other writers you disagree with politically) posting their thoughts, why not just go by the score? That seems like a logical step to take.

And, as an aside, Mr. Redstone is a Laissez-faire Communist.

Dude, you might want to rethink your commenting policy. You have commented on a story that you, confessedly, haven't read. That just makes you a troll. You state that "reading is not your strong suit." Evidently, you're not all that good at thinking, either. You are on a text only story site, designed for reading. Might want to think about Pornhub, or something.

You are alarmed because people who beta-read and edited, commented? Astonishing person! Who better? They know the story. Because they read it, they shouldn't comment on what they believe to be a great story? Surely, had they not believed it to be a great story, they would have suggested changes? Your logic is Swiss cheese.

You feel that evil preachers are a "caricature?" I'm sure there are many fine preachers, but people refusing to give access to their gigantic buildings to hurricane refugees, banging hookers while bashing people who have sex outside marriage, not to mention rampant homophobia, seems to make it not a "caricature," at all, but the norm.

You diss one of the finest writers on the site, BurntRedstone, as well as one of the finest gentlemen, anywhere, and assign him an "ilk." "Liberals!" Ooh, scary! How about we assign you an "ilk?"

Readers, but most probably "jealous writers," who comment under the cover of anonymity, and try to impugn the character and writing of those they profess not to have even read. "Preachers," if you will, whose only premise is to draw attention to themselves by making a nasty, ignorant, comment on someone's story, freely provided, and given to readers for their entertainment. Your "ilk," seems to be stirrers of muck. This is where I invite you to suck my dick.

Great story, Cheryl. I know. I read it. Randi.

A well written story. I like the character development. The dialogue helps in that regard. I am loving it so far. Please ignore the trolls. I think it is a shame that talented writers go elsewhere because the trolls on this site are so negative. Thank you for your great effort.

I don't normally score chapter stories until I finish the entire story, but I simply have to give this the five big stars it so richly deserves.

And Annie, you're perfectly free to dislike any story, for any reason, but you need to READ it first, okay?

Can't wait to read Ch. 2

You've developed some great characters so far and I can't wait for the next chapter. I didn't beta read or edit this piece, but, unlike someone who shall remain nameless ... I actually read the story.

Ignore the idiots and keep up the good work. You rock.

Hooked

One does not put bait on one’s breath...that’s why the phrase is “with BATED breath”.

So far so (very) good. 5*

Very good

Sometimes I wonder if people break up long stories into chapters just to game the voting in some way, so that they can get several votes for the same story rather than only one.

That doesn't especially bother me, but I vote on story parts as though they were complete stories in and of themselves, for that reason. Most of the time, they could be. In this case though, this entire part seems preliminary. I mean, it's in the "First Time" category on a sex stories website, and there's literally zero sex apart from a vague allusion to Lacey masturbating in the shower at the end.

This seems a well-written prelude with some good plot development, but you have it posted as a standalone story. I have yet to read the subsequent parts but it seems for now that this should have been included with one or more of those subsequent parts so that it would have been about Lacey's first time. I've seen stories on Lit that have more than 30 pages and one recently won a contest, so it's not like readers down-vote them for their length.

It is true that good stories don't dive right into sex, but when they don't and they still get broken up into a bunch of chapters, I smell voting system / algorithm manipulation. I gave you a 5 for one of your other stories but I can't vote this one highly. Maybe subsequent parts will seem like they've made it further up the plot mountain.

I'd feel the same way about a posted "chapter" that was only denouement.

Love the story so far, but I have a nit to pick. The Edmonton train station is in the middle of nowhere, between a closed airport, the rail yard and an impound lot. There is no Timmies there, the nearest mall is almost 3 km away, and the London Drugs is another 2 km past that.

and when I stumbled on link to it never saw there were more chapters...

thought it ended here, and though felt incomplete- an easy 5-and as I see following chapter's scores just keep going up...oh boy!

and not even a kiss, at least yet ... really like the characters you're crafted....

and technically correct, too...honors english student/nerd, however long ago, notices...

just an annoyance in superb stories...and none here, and it is

PS and get feeling somehow he gets her cross back, before the end....

From a fellow writer, just say I'm extremely envious. Another great job. That knack again.

But fives are easy on this site.

And the best scenes deserve it. The panic attack. The unnerving father. Yes

But the scenes that cry out for an editor, that could carry this tale all the way to literature...

A few nits to pick but they are completely outweighed by two sparkling gems.

I have never seen the word "wouldn't've" in print before, but it's Noah talking and that's the way people talk.

Then, of all the possible snacks, you have Lacey eating an apple. A Garden of Eden reference at that point in the story was perfect and you didn't ruin it by explaining it. It was good enough for you to write it and leave it there without hitting us over the head with it.

Your writing makes me feel like I'm present in the story.

Sense of Place ... Big Time!

Your stories are amazing - compelling - really well done. I just finished this set but came back here because when I favor a story I always do it with the first part

Firstly this is Literotica - a fact that a lot of wannabe great writers forget. Your exploration of human sexuality was very very well done and enjoyable.

As an exploration of human relationships writ large, you reached out and wove so many threads together - it is a very beautiful and meaningful tapestry.

As for moving around a tim hortons or two or making up train schedules, it was Coleridge who told us that good writing involves the active suspension of disbelief by both writer and reader. Too often in Lit, writers take that too far. Your transgressions were delightful and helped weave a story with a very genuine feel.

Many thanks.

Mike

fabulous. your writing is just so good. thank you for sharing this

Fans of this wonderful story would enjoy reading "Runaway-Diary of a Street Kid" by Vancouver writer and poet Evelyn Lau. I wonder if Cheryl was inspired by the autobiographical account written and published by Evelyn when she was a teen.

A very good story. It’s deep, the characters have substance, and they’re interesting. I didn’t think she’d find Sean in Vancouver, but certainly didn’t expect that they’d have to backtrack more than half a continent.

....but following her recommendation came to this and found another great story which hopefully will eventually catch up but looks as though, base on this chapter, it's going to be an enjoyable read. Well done.

Great line.

I know, I know, superlatives, but I think this is the most interesting setup I've ever read on this site, out of the dozens of setups I've likely read over the years. Also, your pacing is impeccable - us realizing at the same time as her that she's only known Noah for a single day was probably my favorite moment in that regard. Great job!

I've had my head buried in f*ck stories on this site and for some reason decided to look at a romance. I am so glad I chose this one. Just brilliant! Beautifully written and such a good story. Can't wait for more.

Thank you MsCherylTerra!

Outstanding so far!

Ditto, ditto, ditto on the superlatives.

I’ll be starting part 2 in 60 seconds.

My only comment is I am proud of Lit readership in that no little jerkoff complained about a 7 page story here with no sex!

This story was almost as good as sex (ALMOST).

I'm super excited to continue this series. You write so well, it hurts.

just finished reading it AGAIN...at least the second time...

at eightyone, my shot term memory is fucked...

thank you, mscheryl!

Catching up on some of your stories I hadn't gotten to while I await your next new offering.

Must say I am very impressed with all your stories I have read from the one offs to the series offerings, just wonderful. Love my Texas yarn spinners but must admit to a growing crush on a certain Canadian! Thank you for the hours of entertainment with your excellent prose.

Oh, and thank you for reuniting Lacy and Noah. I just about stopped reading when Lacey discovered her bag was missing! Very well played indeed!

Cheers

SAGE

Instantly swallowed whole by your storytelling. The fact that you can put pen to paper in such a compelling manner is stellar.

MsCherylTerra, how is it that I've been on this site sine probably 2018 and I've only found your writing in the past few days? You write magnificently.

An apple! hahahaha. :)

Love it. I'm a very new, but very keen, fan.

If you'll forgive me being a bit icky, I was actually looking for something shorter today - got stuff to do. But I sat here entranced for the entire celibate first part, thoroughly enjoying myself. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your gift. I'm an Aussie but have been lucky enough to ride the Vancouver to Edmonton train as a teenager, and drove the reverse trip a few years back. I'm not religious, but your passage when she found a new vision of God was both lyrical and profound. I get a similar feeling from the - wildly, diametrically different - Aussie outback landscape.

Wow…just wow. That was incredible. 5 stars.

Very entertaining. Thank you very much. The sad thing is, that there really are people like her out there. Believing in a guy wo is sitting on a cloud and is messing around with peoples life. The combination of abusive parents and power-hungry church organisations is a terrible Rezept. And all that just because some centuries ago some people wrote some stories and guidelines down. This is simply crazy.

very, very well done...

outstanding...

You create beautiful, moving worlds. ❤️

Top notch writing!

I love so much of your writing but I think this is my favourite. You put so much time and effort into plot and character, which ultimately means the fireworks - when we get to them - are invested with emotional depth and intensity. Thank you.

I read this story some time ago and just randomly found it again after reading another of yours. So glad to have rediscovered this really great series!

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cheryl, you pretty much define the top notch. 7 pages (Literotica pages!) of exposition -- background and build up -- and utterly mesmerizing! You are a master of character development, and you develop those characters in a brilliantly paced narrative.

Thank you for introducing me to the Lacey and Noah universe.

I am loving this story.

You described it as 'part love letter to Canada' - and I have to say, you are making me long to see with my own eyes, what Lacey is seeing through hers.

I am not a fan of novels on this site.. but fuck, you got me hooked. Love the story line especially all Canadian.

This is writing of extraordinary quality. You draw your characters – especially your protagonist – so perfectly.

Started this just after it was published, and then somehow lost track-never got past first section...

thought it was incredible then ,still do, and noticed a number of authors I hold in high esteem think it is also

love the slight frisson running along underfoot...

he's vocalised feeling she has regarding her father/that she's totally unaware of her own looks, and now she's aware of his body underneath the old jacket...

5 stars - for the writing, and the leave-them-asking-for-more quality.

This is really good writing.

im struck 4 words 2 even try 2 do any justice 2 reveal how drawn thrilled intrigued captivated w ur imagination ability diligence creating this.. so grateful 2 hav stumbled upon fascinated by all facets little links associations adding 2 dunno gravity allure truly(always battle w spelling of that word always looks wrong) captivated

soooo tempted 2 dive in read compulsively normally i space out treasures 2savour relish hope 2 but will continue now w pt2

Really, really well done. Captivating in character development and the juxtaposition of the sheltered upbringing with that of quite the opposite extreme in “real world” life experience.

Very engaging.

Keep up the good work! 🙏🏼

Though it's been a while, this is my third time through this story and I'm seeing again why it's a masterpiece. The scene where Lacey has just gotten up into the dome car has such depth and lyrical beauty, as she sees the immanence in the mountains of beauty, awe, truth--and yes, even God--and it's wonderful that you don't shy away from that. Lacey's father is almost a stereotype, but people like him do exist, perverting the love and peace that should come from religion, so it's wonderful to see Lacey questioning his views while trying to stay true to the real humanity of the ideal in all its messy, human, and deeply caring reality.

And we haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet! ;-)