All Comments on 'Run Ch. 02'

I'm really enjoying the depth you bring to your characters.

The tensions, the joys, the fears. All are well drawn and very realistic.

The characters, even minor ones like Tobias, fill the story nicely and add depth and meat to it.

Very well done!

seriously. I'm checking hourly for updates. The sex is fantastic, but the story is what keeps me coming back. Please keep it up.

You have all the ingredients necessary for an outstanding story. I look forward to reading more.

Boyd

...have Pat be gay. No offense to Keith (who's turning out to be a nice guy) but there aren't many really good lesbian love stories out there and yours are some of the best!

<begging sweetly> Pretty please with a cherry on top?

What more can I say, really. You had me with the first chapter, and this one just improved on what you'd already done. I'm checking for updates more often than is healthy, quite frankly. Great work!

I've bookmarked you because I really want to know how this goes. Great story!

The characters are complex, the story itself is riveting. I don't care about the sex (which is great, btw) because the story just sucks me in!

I'll be back to read some more!

Thankyou!

This is a fascinating story. I can't wait to read more!!

Nah...Bi would be OK though. Pat deserves the very 'best' of both worlds. No...she NEEDS it! Otherwise she'll turn terminally anal like her parents. A real "page-turner"...

Dont make her gay! This is like Carrie gone happy endding. Dont mess it up!

I teared up at the part about Buddy’s trophies being upstairs in Pat’s room. Even before reading further, I figured that it was because the parents either were ashamed of Buddy, or just didn't care. Now it sounds like it's more the father who has issues with wanting perfection, so no wonder he can't deal with having a son who isn't "perfect." (Hey, I have a sis with Down's Syndrome and she's more perfect in many ways than most people; i.e., doesn't hold a grudge, believes the best of people, very loving).<br><br>

<i>Pat felt as out of place as George Bush at a spelling bee.</i> Zing! Favorite single line from the whole chapter. (How 'bout them Internets, huh?)

wishing i had my time back... thankfully i stopped reading

Pat is a very compelling character. Rather ashamed to be breathing the same oxygen as those morons begging you not to make her gay. Do what you will. There's a 90% chance that she's het - do whatever works for your story.

Interesting characters. Decent diction. Numerous little errors. One big error you keep making: past tense verbs. There is no such verb as "drug," only "dragged." Be careful with this! Pretty good sex scenes. Unique execution of story line (how you jump around between characters). Nice inclusion of Buddy's (and Tobias') character. In general, interesting background (of Pat's character). Vocabulary use good. My favorite quote: "as tight as a miser's wallet."

All in all, I'd say good job. Keep up the good work.

17 :D's / 23 :D's

~ LaLaLadidahGirl

Very good writing in all chapters so far now with an underlying secret, looking forward to more...............