All Comments on 'Put It Where Your Mouth Is'

great submission! Looking forward to more from you!

The character explained of the sister went way opposite of her actual body description. Her changing for bed or whatever it was combined with alcohol and she was uninterested? I couldn't see a situation like they seemed to be in. There was no hot in the tale for me when I read it.

RS

Very hot story I hope that's not the end . Many things you can do with it that would be hot . Bring in little sister and maybe mom later on . Good story that you can build on .Good luck and Keep Writing ........

great story. loved the long slow build up which lead into some pretty hot sex action. well done!

This story had a lot of promise and was really good until they both went to bed but as soon as that happened you rushed through the story to much. I may be the only one to think this as well but it felt like the main character had a serious personality change at this point as well. I would have preferred if his personality was the same as it was for the first 60% to 70% of the story. It just lost any form of realism after they both went to bed and that was a turn off for me as up until that point it felt like something that could really happen.

Thanks for the positive and / or constructive feedback everyone!

RockyStone and GingerCat1: I really appreciate the advice and will take your valid points on board. I'll try to pay more attention to character development and pacing in my future writing attempts.

RockyStone (and anybody else who might be interested): I just wanted to mention that the conflicting nature of Amber's character will be described and explained in more detail in the companion version of this story ("her version"), which will cover the same events but from the Amber's point of view. But I guess it will have the same hotness (or lack thereof) as this tale had, so that's probably not going to change.

GingerCat1: I wonder if it would be worthwhile for me to at some point submit some edits to flesh the story out a bit more and make the second half seem less rushed. I'm not sure if that's something that's normally considered acceptable on this site though. I guess it also depends on whether other people would be interested in such changes being made.

dutch513nels: It probably won't end here. I have written outlines for three additional stories involving these characters, although one is just the same story from the older sister's point of view (as mentioned above). The other two are sequels, and yes, once Natasha turns 18 she will play a bigger role. I'm not sure when I'll get to finishing these though, I might do some other stories in between.

If anybody else has feedback of any kind, feel free to leave a comment!

Great read, carry on writing like this and you will be one of the top writers on Literotica.

Really hot story, a believable scenario at least for me. I look forward to the story with Amber's point of view and any sequels that you may write. I also agree with the users that suggested bringing Natasha and their mother to the mix.

Sammy seems a sexually well-endowed and developed young man. Give him a dusting of chest hair and she'll REALLY be turned on!

This is a great story by a gifted writer in his 30s. Since IT is so good at depicting family fun, why not bring in Sam and Amber's mother (not Natasha, no need for an outsider) into the picture? Mom surely has a right to enjoy her boy's fat 9-incher, after all she's the one with the cunt Sammy came out of. Amber's reaction when she's confronted with that power tool between her kid brother's legs is perfectly reasonable. She's a woman now, with a woman's needs and passions. When she sees a cock beyond her wildest dreams, her cunt, as Sammy discovers, runs like a river. She's itching to feel that tasty thing in her mouth (or as much as she can fit in) and especially up inside her. I love how when Sammy's fucking Amber, he has to decide where to come, and he chooses to blow his brotherly balls right up his sister's twat. That's really to best place for a boy to shoot his semen, well, the second best place, after his own mother's twat. Sammy's got plenty of semen in those hot young balls of his, but Amber--and we dearly hope his mom--is going to keep them drained for years.

Great story, the little prevert got more than he could ever dream of.

While it pisses me off that so many writers have to use the huge cock and tits to make their story this time it was the story, but I can't believe she was so dumb that she didn't know that cocks came in all sizes, 9" is not the norm but does happen, in high school there was a guy we called big dick John I swear it hung to his knee, the girs were all scared of him he was such a creep, he got hard in the shower and the coach would slap his cock with a yard stick when that happened.

Natasha is still inder age and has a big mouth so leave her out of it, but maybe have sister bring home some friends, and leave mom out of it too.

this author is a virgin and he has no experience with women. Women don't act like that. They're not going to just let their walls fall especially if theyr'e seeing a guy because of his penis size or another guy being bigger let alone her own brother. Even the women that cheat don't cheat like men. It is emotional to them. I stopped reading half way through. Go date some women and learn how they act. They're more submissive than that and less vocal. You will hardly even know what a woman is thinking and they're even less likely to make it verbal.

But when does he get a hot sauce enema from his sadistic Grampa? And when does big sis eat out the pruned pussy of her dead grannykins?

Do they eat their own poopies? Why? What's the point if neither of them can't bake a cake?

The story was fun. Nothing unexpected happened, but that's not why most people read these stories. I enjoyed it, but really the quality of the writing would at best be a B- to a middle school English teacher. It did rush things quite a bit also. It's almost like the writer wanted to get to the good parts faster. Keep working on the writing. I hope to see more of you work here.

Awesome story, made my morning woodie spurt all over - so fine!!

to the anon below who claims that the writer is a virgin... have you only met one woman in your entire life? seriously, how the fuck can you possibly claim what "women" are like, that they're "more submissive" or "less vocal" than the writer has portrayed amber to be.

have you never heard of a personality? are you aware that women are actually people, and therefore can actually be different to each other in how they act and speak, just like men? crazy to think about, i know, but try to get your head around it.

you claim the writer is a virgin, but based on your logic i'd say you've only had contact with one woman your whole life, and you're using that as a basis for what all women act like. just because some women are submissive and mysterious about their feelings doesn't mean all are.

some women actually prefer to be the dominant one in the relationship, and are very vocal about how they feel. and women can be just as shallow and sex-obssessed as men can. some even cheat JUST because they're sexually attracted to another man, not necessarily because of their emotions. again, this may be mind blowing news to you, but trust me on this.

anyway, decent story. my only real problem with it was actually the camera, seemed way too sophisticated for a little hobby. i mean, night vision? panning and zooming? something that small and discreet, which it would have to be for it not to be really noticable, would typically just record and nothing else. even wirelessly transmitting the data would be pretty advanced; most webcams and things like that just have a limited amount of hard drive space that has to manually accessed. it seemed a little unlikely that this guy would go and buy a state-of-the-art security camera for the simple purpose of monitoring his bedroom.

one other small thing, both the siblings seemed to not even care about the morality of what they were doing, not to mention the illegality. i know its just a sexy story, but usually people read incest stories because of the forbidden feeling and the sexy wrongness of it, but apart from a cursory mention they barely seemed to care at all.

wow this turned out way longer than i thought it would.

decent story, 4/5 stars rated.

continue story next up natasha

Seriously bro continue with Natasha she would make a great third member to there little... Activities it'll be astounding if you write it half as good as this one the detail is amazing

Good story,

semi-exciting because it was brother and sister but keep writing. I liked it. gave me a tingle in all the right spots.

when reading a story that starts out with a shy, introverted, inexperienced, and usually virgin, leading character who two thirds of the way in, during his/her first sexual encounter, becomes the exact opposite in a matter of seconds. They miraculously are the most sophisticated and knowledgeable sexual partner in the known universe with unsurpassed skill, technique, and staying power.

it would be so much better with a slow learning curve during which we get to vicariously watch as they progress step-by-step on their journey.

just wishing.

You can write the next chapter from Amber's point of view, from their discussions to his showing her and what followed after. Its a very HOT story and deserves more chapters. Thank you !

I can't wait for more, the characters, the build up, just perfect. You my friend, are extremely talented and should definitely carry on this story! It has been 4 months so I'm hoping you haven't given up, after all masterpieces do take time!

This definitely demands a sequel, where Natasha maybe catches them and wants a piece of the action.

no 1

3 pages that felt like 1. Very well written, thank you for sharing.

Nothing makes a guy feel better than a woman getting her first look at his cock and immediately making it very obvious that she adores it and wants it in every way. And to have it be Amber, who is sleeping in his room and would never reveal their fucking and sucking, well, Sam found himself to be in every man's dream. And so are the readers--in a little (very little) way.

Nice, very nice.

next please

Rare to find a well written story on here. I enjoyed it very much.

Gina

Excellent. Very well written. One of the best stories I've read in a long time.

Finally a good story on here! Please write more you are completely amazing at it.

You should write a sequel to this.

This would make a good "Art of Jaguar" online comic strip (and that is a compliment). You do a good job with the sexual detail and the description of the body parts, etc. I think most here would like more of a progressive sensual/sexual story and not so much of a "quickie." I liked it. Very visual and hot. Develop the characters a bit more next time.

When I was younger I have a second cousin who was built like the greek goddess you think about. She was 5 years older than me and looked 4 years older than she was. Our time happened in Clear Lake CA where I was opened up to what the other sex was really like. Great memories.

Great story well written and quite plausible.

Where do I start?

I just plain enjoyed this read. Sure beats cutting on patients.

I only have time for short stories so this really fills the bill.

Please. Bring on Chapter 2 !!!

Thank You

Should do a second chapter with the other sister too after the first moves back

Yes please do a seccond chapterjs0mjg

But when she bared her breasts for him, that's where it lost me. Not enough of anything: how they looked, how they felt, what the nipples were like, conversation between them about them (Do you like them? What do you want to do with them? They're so sensitive. Suck on them. etc.) And how did she act when she first saw his hard cock? And how did she handle it? Play with it? And what about a titty fuck while she blew him?

What a great story that is ripe for a sequel. Now since it has been 7 years since this was written so the chances are slim, but if the author is reading or writing then please add to this story. 5 stars

Nice little story

Love it

Ok now need the 2nd chapter!! Pretty good so far, wonder if they'll get caught?? By sister, by Mom/Dad