by Lost Boy
I love this story. There is always something new going on. Please keep up the good work.
I like that you had Ghost say that he wanted Mystique as herself. She has a lot of trauma do to people only wanting her for what she can become so that must have meant a lot to her.
This story is a dream come true u beautiful bastard keep up the fantastic work.
I am nearly suffering withdrawal during the time between chapters being released. The random misspelling and such tickles my mild OCD, but I'm not going to throw the baby out with the bathwater.
Love the Dark Elf tech windfall, and I flatter myself that my previous comment played some small part in it's inclusion in the story. Traci Lords with an Irish accent is just plain weird, though, unless there was a digital/holographic avatar to go with the voice, even if it was only projected on their HUD's. ;p
I do hope he keeps the ship, with the cloak on permanently to keep any Asgardians from attacking him because of it, unless he can manage to disguise it, either by constructing a shell around it, or maybe gaining a skin as a game reward, like Art3mis' Akira bike in Ready Player One...bit of an ask, but could be useful.
Now, for a plot point that both confounded me, technically, as well as being like a dagger to the heart, fan boy-wise.
My big issue with this chapter is the loss of Ghost's lightsaber. If memory serves, he has a spare lightsaber he picked up during the quest where he met Visas Marr, just sitting in his inventory, so he won't be without a lightsaber, but that's not the point.
Ghost gets his name from the Ghost Fire Gem(kyber crystal?) in said lightsaber, which Master Nightwind said was "rarer than hen's teeth", so I doubt he can replace it. Master Nightwind's signature black gem could, according to him, only be gained by "visiting this tower, and successfully passing a test". This screams one-time-only quest rewards, not farmable items, unless they were boss drops or craftable. Maybe he can recreate them by learning how to create synthetic kyber crystals???
All of that would be irrelevant if things went the way I expected they should have. His lightsaber isn't a ranged/consumable weapon, like arrows or daggers, in some games. The lightsaber with two kyber crystals in it was his main weapon, his iconic trademark.
With the inventory and equipment system used in this "game", unless Ghost took a specific and deliberate action like selling, trading or the like, he shouldn't be able to "lose" an equipped item, even a weapon, if it wasn't like a bow and arrow. And you haven't mentioned item durability as a game mechanic, so far, so it shouldn't have "broken". And even in situations where durability hits zero, the item is just shifted to inventory until it is repaired.
In many games I've played, if there was a skill where you could throw your primary equipped weapon, the weapon would reappear in the hand of the wielder after the throw, not be lost. Unless I missed a major mechanic of the game in this story, Ghost's lightsaber should automatically reappear in his inventory/equipped. He can't be without his trademark weapon. It would be like Dominic Toretto going an entire Fast and Furious movie without driving a Charger of one incarnation or another.
So, LB, I'm hoping against hope that you have already planned out a loophole, or will reconsider and employ one of the mechanics I mentioned, to restore the universe to order, as it were. End rant.
What a fun read thank you . Can't wait for the next part would love to read this story from beginning to end .Wish you would publish on smashword so I could get copies of your work .
To Lit Reader and othes... there is a cosmic plan in the works. Ghost relies upon his darksaber a lot and it is in fact his namesake. To see if the crystals survived the implosion he will have to venture into the Zone again. This series has been a blast to write and I have some great twists and turns along the way planned. Part six is nearly done and part seven and eight pretty solidly mapped out. LB
This series alone has me checking Literotica for updates, and you've done such great work so far. Loved this installment, but I did feel it was weaker than the earlier ones.
This entry felt more rushed for a few reasons, and while I still very much enjoyed it, it did feel like a bit of a letdown relative to the sheer quality of the earlier entries.
Still, can't wait for the next one, and thank you for such a great series!
I noticed u said u posted chapter 6 a few days ago but it hasnt been posted yet do you have a timetable for how long it takes literotica staff to approve it and post it? Just wonderin
I posted part 6. It was returned and I am sorry to say my health has slowed down the rewrite of the portion that forced it to be rejected. It contained critical portions to progress two different story lines. I should be posting it again either Saturday or Sunday at the latest. Again, sorry for the delay.
Take your time lostboy i was just wondering why they hadnt posted it yet take your time everyone who loves your story probably have great patience to be on this site.
I would rather you heal and feel better than losing a great author I've tracked and been reading since you first posted. My meds are doing well so I should be around to see all of their ends
...just a pet peeve of mine: It's 'disoriented'. There is no such word as 'disorientated'.
I have been blasting through your chapters since I found them. Awesome stories and premise. Keep up the good work..👍👍
Nice concept and story. Seems a little Mary Sue ish for so many awesome things being obtained so quickly and many times haphazardly.
Also, why was such a small amount of vibranium so guarded so that doom didn’t get it if one of his assassins was wielding and wasting vibranium arrows?