All Comments on 'One Night in Xanadu'

Good rollicking yarn, finished it in one reading and 5ved it. Possibly sometimes you might over explain a bit when the readers imagination could be put to work, but that's probably just me. Well done.

Of course it was "bloody good," Chloe wrote it. And maybe it'll lead to more from bloody hot from Xanadu.

Your imagination is surpassed only by your writing skills. Or maybe it is the other way around. If anything demands more chapters, this is the one.

AWESOME tale.

Riveting, enthralling, with a pile of more wondrous expressions following. Congrats.

The only thing found frustrating is the repeat of phrases on the last four pages.

An enthralling tale of literature and life... that bites and has teeth.

Thanks for the story. 5's

Definitely not your typical Lit story but certainly a new masterpiece! Really enjoyed the nuanced story. Moves fast, flows like a mountain stream. Congratulations!

A magnificent work!!!

I only wish ir had been longer. Ive been meaning to write something similar and this really inspired me to start. Hope to read more especially looking forward to some of the unfinished stories in your library.

This is full-on 'Chloe talent' for writing. (The kind of talent you first exhibited but stepped away from for so long.) Glad to see you're back in fine writing form. The ONLY criticism I have is the same as some others, and you know it yourself... repetitious words and phrases... it becomes tiresome to your readers, Chloe. Try to refrain from that kind of overkill on words. We 'get' that you're stressing a point. Write it once, twice if you REALLY feel it's necessary, and then move on. (The repetitiveness makes it feel like you're stretching the story by using words as fodder. You're a better talent than to employ tricks and subterfuge of 'hack' writers.) Great story and Congrats on a successful event as well.

Your work is always superb, I think this is one of the best! Thank you

I admire your research and the way you pour it into the way you create your characters. The ferocity is fine. Curiously, my interest tapers when you get into the sex scenes. The premise is strong. Then you repeat your descriptions almost like an incantation. Something about that is strong. Another aspect loses me and I'm ready for culmination, or a variation. Surely the horsewoman must want to ride her man. And the grand guignol ending? OK, it's in character ... A tour de force. Bravo

I've always been impressed with your stream-of-concious style and the way you seem to capture your narrator's own inner monologue. Your stories I've read have always had a young, trendy, angsty kind of quality to them. The inner monologue of Altani was surprisingly regal and proud and eloquent. I wasn't expecting it, but it was a perfect voice to tell the story.

This was a great capstone to a fun event. Thanks for organizing it.

A very good read. You hit the mark with this one. I admit, after a moments consideration, that the idea of little Gingas in nappies made me chuckle. With a Mom and Dad like that, he won’t get away with much.

Great characters in that time period. Did not want to have to take breaks in reading it all! Will love all of this you can write, though I have been missing your funny teen girls of other stories. Was really looking forward to reading how the princess would describe sex with her ancient language vocabulary, but the hot sex sounded rather modern in the descriptions. Oh, and what is with the sudden abundance of typos when you get to the sex? Was, Steve distracting you!

This is an amazing story that feels very intense and honest. Thanks for all the wonderful work you put into writing it. Hope you will write another story soon. 5 stars.

Unlike one commentator, I liked your use of repetition. It has a lyrical quality which adds to your narrative. Song lyrics for a good reason are often repetitive.

My little bit: You used "mile" to reference distance. That would be an anachronism. Or at least against the inner logic or rules around which you ordered this entertaining piece of fiction.

And it is due to this inner logic that I step back from my own anachronistic reaction: You create a fully empowered female protagonist who rejects subservience to male agency unless or until 'tamed' by the apex alpha male wherein she finds deep fulfillment as the woman satisfying the man. The gender politics of our age, obviously, differ from the gender customs of the steppes a thousand some years ago. Yet, I do pause at this construct. History has been written by those or for those in power, and the less powerful, women included, have often had their stories told in ways that emphasize male dominance and female satisfaction found through a man.

There is more than enough room for writers, fiction as well as non fiction, to imagine the passions and powers of voices ignored, and to do so in ways which free us from the confines of conventional notions of male/female desire.

ChloeTzang's repetition defines her as an amateur writer who is unable to post professional quality work. She'll appeal to sycophants, but no one wielding true publishing power will ever give her a chance until she tightens up her prose.

As for your lecture on "voices" and "agencies", you sound like a high school student.

Is a very valid criticism and something I absolutely need to focus on to move beyond being a rather popular amateur author for sure. My editor for my next novel has his instructions. Hammer me ruthlessly on repetition and also on looooong sentences. Both faults I need to work on. A little repetition on key actions or thoughts is good but I do overuse it as a writing technique.

Your research is impressive.

After reading this story and the previous comments about repetition, I can only say that a little repetition is ok but I feel too much detracts. Otherwise, I am overawed by the color and visual screen painted by the author’s prose. I intend to search for and listen to the music suggested earlier in the story.

What a magnificent story from a very gifted researcher. Thank you for sharing your brilliance.

Excellent. An exciting, enchanting story. The repetition, though unconventional, generated a beat and a rhythm that create a powerful, mesmerizing chant, the effect of which could not be dismissed. Effective as that was, and i found it ever effective, i dont believe that is sustainable as a writing style but it was great this once.

Overwhelming

Fantastic!! clearly among the best of the best in the hall of fame listing!

Damn… that was a ride!

Brilliant! Thank you so much.