Memories of Eva: Black

I felt her mouth wrap around the head of my cock in one motion and immediately begin pumping. She didn't kiss the tip first or lick it, didn't touch it, she just put her mouth around me and began to pump. But god oh god. Her pressure was simply exquisite. The room was pitch, it could be a dream, I lay there looking out feeling the wetness of her mouth on me. I lay my hands upon her head. She was down at my side and I could touch no other part of her than the hair on her head.

She rose and fell on me, pressing her lips around my cockhead, rising and falling, swirling her tongue around the underside of my cock. To exquisite for words. I was squeezing my eyes, and panting, breathing out, holding my mouth open. Saying stupid things like, "oh god." and "so good." Opening my legs, letting her.

She was moving faster now as if she could sense my urgency, the rising of my cum. Would she swallow? I stopped thinking, pushing on her head, guiding her, bucking my hips up now to meet her, filling her mouth. I could feel the head of my cock press back into her throat. Abandoning any pretense of ....I don't know what. I was fucking, fucking her plain and simple. Fucking her mouth, she was letting me. I began to stiffen, tightening my legs, I could feel her dig her nails into my thigh, and it set me off, set me off immediately and ribbons of cum began to rise, spray out of me. My hips shaking, and she was drinking me in, every drop. Holding her mouth to me, and sucking slowly, licking with her tongue drawing out the drops. Sucking, feeling me go limp in her mouth, and then a last bite with her teeth, I could feel her teeth sink into my now soft cock, limp in her mouth and then she let go.

How would I look at her tomorrow? We had crossed some lines with each, but in my world this was intimate. She tugged my boxers back in place and then briefly lay her hand over my crotch and gave it a squeeze.

"There. Better now."

"Eva, I......"

"Shhhh." She lay back on her side, scootched back into my chest, letting me wrap my arms around her.

"Nite. Nite."

*****************

I was laying in the black little room, it was something like 1:00 am. I don't have a memory of my six months with Eva in linear time at all, time in fact vanished.

It seemed like it was just one single night, the same night. I can't really put anything in any order at all. She had come down at midnight, way past when I normally fall asleep. I would wait for her some evenings, I remember thinking 'Maybe she won't come.' Later she would come down earlier, but not much.

And I could hear the footsteps, and the tightening in my chest as she padded down the stairs, the burning in my eyes when she came into the room. We never turned the lights on, she knew her way. It was her house.

I was thinking all this one of the evenings for the first time. Eva over time grew ever more comfortable. She loved to lay across my chest, pressing her small breasts against my chest as she talked, then throwing herself back into the bed. I would lay on my side and look out into the darkness and reach with my hands, finding her, feel her body. She loved to be touched, stroked, petted, and would simply lay her head back, sighing at some of my intrusions. I was cautious, somewhere in my mind thinking what was right, what was wrong, 'This is alright' and that nothing would come of it. I had drawn several lines, which were steadily being crossed.

I loved her breasts, and would simply lay my hand over them as she talked, and simply press my fingers into her flesh with a sort of light rhythm of my own making, play with her nipples, feeling them tighten. Tug at them until she would make me stop - ouch, she would say. Her sighs were wonderful, my justification. She was enjoying me, she was coming down every night wasn't she? She could stop, though I don't really know what I would have done had she stopped.

Moving was fairly devastating. It was a difficult transition, we saw each other often the next three months. But never shared a bed again. My life had come to revolve around her, in fact as I became dependent she became her own woman.

I believe her sadness became mine. It is difficult to understand, to describe. It simply did not occur in real time, and when I think back everything seems more like a dream than anything else.

This evening of my memory she was laying across my chest, her hair tickling my ear, hanging down around my face, her mouth -as always - was close. I could have kissed her, and thought about it. I was listening, half listening. I had my hand round her waist and slowly stroking back over her ass with my one hand, drinking in her body. Feeling her warmth, her breath, her skin.

Eva was telling a story, "......I was putting my clothes away in my room when I realized I was missing a sock. It figured. I had to go back to the basement, and I ran down with nothing on, no one was home. I was beginning to realize that having this body, being a sexual being, wasn't so bad. I'd recovered from everything that had happened with Justin. He still said hi to me in the halls, like nothing had happened. His friends had shut up, moving on to more interesting matters. My life had continued."

"The only difference was that now I had no real interest in any of the other boys at school. None except Jason. I knew Jason. I trusted Jason. I loved him in so many ways. To me he seemed so perfect, how could any other boy ever measure up? I stood down there in the warm basement, and I passed a mirror. There I was! And I stood there gazing at my naked body, wondering what Jason would think if he'd ever had the chance to see it. Would he be disgusted? Would he think I was sexy? I felt this desperate longing to be needed by him, to be thought of as special by him. You know, romance. By Jason. I didn't want it from anyone else."

"And so, when he started talking about other girls, I was devastated. Other people. It was just horrible. I thought about him seeing me naked, but never did. I wanted to wait, for the right time. I don't know. But then I started realizing, he just didn't care."

I simply said to the darkness above me, "He wasn't the one." I ran my hands down her along the back of her leg.

"That's when I started to just start to feel depressed. Just a little. I would look around, and everyone was becoming strangers. I felt really alone for the first time. Separate. And I graduated. Jason said he would call, but he never did. Never. Why? What is wrong with me."

"Oh Paul. It was so bad last month. It scared me. I thought I might do something."

"You better now?"

"Most days. It's still hard. It's the anxiety."

"Maybe you should see somebody."

"Mmmmm." And she rolled off me then, laying with her hand on my chest. "I found some things that help. You don't have hair on your chest."

"Nope."

"None." She let her hand wander over my body. "I like that."

"I'm going to tell you something. A request really. Everything in this room stays in this room right?"

"Hmmm hmmm."

"When I feel anxious, when I'm stressed...." She paused, "I masturbate."

I paused, I felt her stiffen a little. She was shy about this. It seemed somehow cute to me, I felt my cock stiffen though at the same time.

"And lately I do it A LOT."

"Today. Yesterday. Once, I was very depressed and then I can get .....well, horny but I wasn't in a place that I could, you know, masturbate. So, low and behold there was a cucumber in the fridge at my friends house, I fixated on it. It's shape was just entirely too tempting. I couldn't resist."

"You didn't?"

"It felt soooo good stretching me. I left it there and walked around."

"You didn't." I could feel myself growing so hard.

"It was so cold, it like hurt. This is a Secret.....You think I'm crazy?"

"Let me ask you something."

"Mmm." My hands were roaming over her body, and I purposefully lay my hand right over her pussy. The silk bunching up in my hand. She didn't flinch, I felt her push her little mound up, tipping her hip just the tiniest bit. The topic of our discussion.

"Jason. He's the one you gave a blowjob to."

"Yes."

"Did he ever reciprocate. You know, for you. Same thing."

"Ohhhh. No. Not the same. Boys don't really get into that, none I know. And......" She held her hand to her mouth, "I think, that would be too intimate."

I lifted myself up and pulling my hand back, tipped my fingers under the elastic, gave her bare little cunny a squeeze just then. She letting me.

"I'm confused."

She breathed out. She had to be glowing right now, her puss felt warm, hot, she had to be wet, I was stroking her abdomen now, could feel her hips moving a little.

She was talking as I began to tug at her bottoms, she was lifting herself up from the mattress. I said, "I'm listening."

"A blowjob brings release, you know."

"Ok."

"So then, with release, the horny boy is all better. But if a boy were licking me down there......"

"Ohhhh." And at that moment I pressed my fingers down between her legs, she slid her legs open just a little bit, and I felt her cunny burst open, juices spilling around my fingers. Her bottoms down around her thighs.

"Ahhhhh." This long drawn out breath. "What are you doing?"

"Seeing if your as aroused as me."

I slid my fingers back and forth, pulling her open, I heard her laugh and suck in air at the same time as my finger grazed the end of her clit, she lay back on the bed. "You shouldn't."

"Let me."

"Let you what?"

"You know."

"I can't."

"Your wet."

"Hmmm. Hmmm. But....."

"Your horny. Ever had anyone do that before?"

"No....."

I waited.

"Ok." It came out in a grunt. "But.....I can't have anything touching me while you are, uh, doing it." She started to tug her bottoms off down her legs. "Pull the sheets back too. Just the mattress, K?"

I was moving across the bed, and could feel her scootching up the bed, could feel her knees part wide. I couldn't see a thing though.

"Want me to turn on the light?."

"NO!" I felt her knees snap shut. "Just, like this."

And I moved myself between her legs and lay my hand over her pussy and pressed, palming her softly, taking my time. I loved her smell, her powdery smell, and lowering myself slid my hands until they were clasping her thighs, holding them open.

I licked up through her center. God, fucking God, she was wet. So delicious. Smooth, soft fur, her little fur pie I remember thinking. Nothing longer than a half inch. I licked the flat of her pussy lips, each side and the curve between her pussy and her legs, Kissing the top, soft kisses. I let the little tuft of hair at the top of her puss play over my libs, and I was playing with her abdomen, little kisses. And lowering down again as my tongue really dug into her, lapping up her juices just feeling her dribble on my chin. Feeling her body tense and release as I moved on her.

She was breathing out her mouth I could hear her, panting, and she lay her hands on my head. "Oh god, this is nice." Her voice was lower, it was relaxed, more relaxed than I had ever heard her. I realized how tight she was wound, how it was in her voice. I realized that then. She had never really relaxed with me, and I continued to lick long strokes up her middle, and then took my finger and pressing into her vagina, I felt her open her legs wide feeling me up inside. Wider and wider. God she was flexible I thought how wide she could hold her legs.

Pressing my finger up inside her I started to press the tip of my tongue in around her clitoris. And I heard her let out this deep long moan. "Mmmmmmmmm," A growl really, she likes that I thought and I did it again, and again and again. Before I knew it she was pushing on the back of my head and undulating her hips against my mouth. Holding me to her. I held myself there for her, and let her move her body however she wanted, guiding me. Holding my tongue against her, the wet flesh, lapping away at her. God she was such a sexual, naturally sexual being, if felt like nothing I had ever felt. The intensity of her feeling began to fill me as well and I was touching her as if we were a single creature.

My tongue swirling around her hardening clit, and my finger curling up inside of her, pressing into the flesh of her and stroking her hard up inside, her body was arching back and I could feel a early wave up her body.

She was cooing, "Oh god you feel like you are rising right up my spine. My hair tingles."

"Oh, god, that keep doing that." And I was digging the tip of my tongue right into the underside of her clit. God I wanted to see her, everything pitch dark. And then her body began to stiffen and in one motion she was jerking her body hard, sitting up sort of, three times, these sudden jerks of her entire body and then, "Ahhhhhhh, God oh.......I can't breathe." And pulling her legs together, arching her back, her hands pushing me hard against her. The top of her head mush be on the mattress and she was lifting herself. "I'm cumming. Oh, so..... good." I stayed with her and followed her body around, she was so wet, I could feel her vagina closing, sucking at my finger. God I was so hungry for, God I wanted to fuck her.

And then her hands came off me, fell away, and she turned herself one way then the other and I lifted myself up. She grasped me with her hands, and drew me close. I felt her lips fold around my lower lip, felt her mouth opening. Utterly yielding. God I was hard and she lay me down on top of her, our skin pressing together, the whole length of our naked bodies and I lay with her like that, my cock laying along her thigh, I wanted to fill her, cum in her, fuck her.

But what we did was kiss. We touched our tongues so tremulously, felt our teeth, pressed ourselves to one another. I lay my hands at the small of her back and lifted her to me. Held her in my arms. She was opening her mouth, I was kissing her lower lips, touching her, cradling her. She opened her eyes wide, and I swear I could see the whites of her eyes.

Her eyes met mine and I swear I could see her teeth, her smile. She just said, "Hi."

I said, "Hi."

"You're good," she said.

"It was your first time."

My cock dragged across her leg, "Your hard, still hard. Want me to?"

Her hand was caressing my cock. I looked down at her, we were utterly folded around each other. Her hands reaching inside my boxers. Her bottoms were gone, she was nearly sitting in my lap. God I could fuck her right now I thought, just lift her up and set her right down, she would let me.

All these thoughts in my head, I was feeling her hand on me, her bare thigh. I took my hands and began to unbutton her top. Three buttons. She held her arms open, and I slid them back, down her arms, tossed the light fabric to the floor. She was naked. I couldn't see her but she was naked. I brought my mouth down and kissed her breasts, took her small nipples in my mouth and began kissing down her front again, pressing her back in the bed. She following, yielding my every move. I lifted my leg over her head and straddling her face let my cock hang down for her. Fruit. She took me in entirely sucking on me, I didn't say anything, and let my torso extend down the length of her body, held my chest above her tummy. Turning my head down between her legs again, began to taste her again.

It was sweet, like honey. It was smooth and soft, the smell of blood and flesh. I licked and licked and licked. Felt her mouth on me and pumped my cock in her mouth, felt her body undulate beneath me, and we were this wave of water on each other. We were wind. We were the leaves of trees and a flock of birds. We were the movement of the clouds. It was all, there was nothing else.

I did not feel that I existed, or ceased to be. We could hear the clicks and slapping of our body, and we were covered with this sheen of moisture, of warm skin. Skin to skin. Hair and bone. The sound of her mouth sucking my cock, the sound of my tongue on her clit. My fingers in her, her little hands touching my balls. Our bodies sliding together, until I was cumming again, spraying. Exploding. I was crying out, and her body began to stiffen, she was trembling. She let me go, my seed was spraying on her now, across her neck and down her chest. She was cumming, and trembling beneath me. It was so strong, I could feel her lifting up as I pinned her there, held her there.

I slid off to the side of her, exhausted. Simply exhausted.

She didn't move, she stayed right where she was as I lay myself again beside her, began pulling the covers up. "No," she put her hand on mine. "Too sensitive."

She began to cry. "You alright?" I said, worried. This was too much.

"Oh, that was.....I never came twice. It....." And then she lay on her side for a little while, before scootching back into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her and we folded our bodies together. It was like no part of us was not touching the other. We lay there naked, skin to skin. Her breathing was soft. I could tell she was awake. My cock lay in this little wet ball right at the bottom of her ass. She was holding my hand, and I had my other hand pressed down between her legs. She had one leg sandwiched between mine. It's just how we fell asleep that night, and so many like it. They were the same night.

*****************

This is a letter I got after my phone conversations with Eva. I was holding the light sheet of paper, turning it over in my trembling hands before I read:

Paul

You know what I want, as you knew what I wanted. What I want, is to be shown, taught, opened up.

No one seems to be willing to do this. Even now, I don't know. I am not sad anymore, that is gone, I'm happy even. But, there's this whole other person inside of me, the one that you at one time got to see, the one you've been talking to trying to get through to, screaming to be let out.

I don't let it, just like you didn't.....if things had been different. If you had been stupider then, who knows where we would be today. But you weren't, and now I'm not. So where does that leave us, I don't entirely know.

Christ. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm crying now. But she is still there, and SHE is the one thanking you. The rest of it, we move into the light don't we. Go through the door and Paul, we weren't so good in the light. Lets just keep our memories, of us in the dark.

I miss then. I probably want more than anything, for you to know that. Thank you for then.

Love

Eva

Thank you, please email me with comments and ideas. You are the reason I write.