by oshaw
I totally enjoyed it! Well written in the style of Louis L'Amour, although his characters never swore! I do enjoy a good western and this one is very good.
I’ve been a fan of your work on this site. You’ve done it again. This is such a well written story with engaging characters and a great rhythm or cadence in the narrative. Gretchen stole the show as the Ox Whisperer! Great storytelling. Please give us more of your fine writing!
"Oshaw"is one of my favorite authors. As always, great story. FIVE STARS (signed ML)
You are a master storyteller, Oshaw. I agree Gretchen was quite the character. Loved that little sweetie! Thank you, my friend. Randi.
Man,
I don't know why you are wasting your time on this site. You could probably clean this up a bit, play up the romantic elements and make some money on Amazon self publishing.
The data shows in States like Mississippi Arkansas Alabama Georgia and South Carolina about one-third of All Families owned slaves. The percentages were somewhat Less in States like Tennessee North Carolina Virginia but still range between 15 to 25%. While it is commonly accepted that most families in the South did not own slaves that's actually a grossly inaccurate statement
An entertaining story filled with a huge mixture of fun vignettes. So well done. I had to take a few minutes to recover when you had the Kors family homestead in Golden Colorado. lol
Willie was stereotypically correct but Gretchen was adorable. The image that came to mind for her was the forlorn waif on the Le Miz poster.
Thanks
Happy Turkey Day
The only problem with the story is that it wasn't long enough. I didn't want it to end but of course it had reach its logical conclusion. I really enjoyed the introduction and combining the different historical characters.
Thank you very much for another great piece. Please keep them coming.
Woodmanone
I love how you and others incorporated history into your stories. The timeline errors which you admitted to are inconsequential. The story itself was fantastic!
wonderfully enjoyable. now on to the other all-stars stories. you set the bar high, thanks 5*
I knew who Kate was and love that you had her in this story! Well done!
Seriously, there are great writers and great stories on this site, but this story is truly in a class by itself. The narrative structure and pacing are clearly not only publication quality in the commercial sense, but best seller level.
Usually I would focus on the great characterizations, plot, and emotional content, but the craft or, actually in this case, art of the writing is head and shoulders above anything I have read in a long time. Everything else is great, but the writing is spectacular.
Your contribution to the WWW was greatly received. Fun and engaging tale to be sure.
5/5
Ok, I overlooked the numerous small mistakes, ‘cause it’s the story that counts not nitpicks errors. But... When Megan suddenly became Kate for a critical few paragraphs, it really had me scratching my head as to how an editor with Randi’s obvious talent could have missed that? As for the story itself, I realize I risk a “virtual” stoning for criticizing one of LW’s most beloved authors (and certainly one of my favorites), but... You filled out a richly detailed visual picture of life in the old West; a little too detailed for me though. You lost my interest at page 4! By that point, well past the halfway mark, I felt that nothing of substance had really happened. This started to read more like a biography than a LW story. Having to plod through “Centennial” in high school kept popping into my mind. Beautifully written, but there’s just no story here!
Wish I could give it 10 stars!
Thank you for your another great story!
P.S.: When you run out of the Latin alphabet, you can start with the Greek one, then with the Slavic ...
Words truly can not express my enjoyment and appreciation for you, your writing, and the fact that you share these with us at no financial cost. Thank you very much for giving me something to feel thankful for on this Thanksgiving day. Much obliged...
A story that proves that not all stories in Loving Wives has to have a cuck or a cheating wife. So well done I agree with someone else and wish I could give it more than the five star maximum.
I really liked this. Not the usual LW story. I thought it clever on how you intertwined historical characters into the story line but the four of a kind card hands to four people would never have worked in any card game. I struggled also with a preacher beating anyone. However, a solid five from me.
I don't know what to say about all the mixed-up history, geography, and people.
The story was mediocre....so I won't make any other comment.
3*s. Thank you for the effort.
Are you played out oshaw??
AMerryman
Other than the fact that you confused Kate and Megan a little around mid-story, I'd have to say that your story was just about perfect. As a matter of fact, you're the only author that I've read who I've never rated below 4 stars. I guess that makes you the reigning king. Long live the king.
Congratulations, Oshaw, another tour-de-force from your fertile imagination. So well written. Five stars from me. You are simply one of the best, ever.
I have no idea what story the "merryman" might have read. Evidently, something different than I or any of the other people who read and commented. Do you suppose it is possible that it's the "merryman" who has the problem, and not the writer? It seems to be indicated by the evidence. It may, in fact, be the "merryman" who knows little of history, geography and good writing.
I've liked your stories, but not always leaving a review. To say I loved this story doesn't do enough justice. Your writing talent really shows up and that's why I make my comparison to the famous western writer. Dude, you are awesome. Thanks for the story.
You're truly a great writer I really love this story. Haven't read a single one of your stories that I didn't like thank you for all your hard work.
Thank you for this enjoyable story. Good characterization, as usual coupled with a nice romantic plot.
I thoroughly enjoyed the tale. However, I can only give it 4 stars due to the confusion created when the author started referring Megan as Kate. I am disappointed that Randi did not corrected during editing.
Don't know why it was in LW, don't rightly care. I didn't want it to end it was so good.
Thank you for an amazing story!
I am the cliched longtime fan of your Literotica stories, and as such I’ve read them all. “Balance” is probably my favorite of your submissions for a quick bad mood pick-me-up.
Recently I reread “Lonesome Dove”, so as I made my way through “Kept”, many of those descriptions of brutality and privation and the prevalence of natural law were forefront in my mind.
My mother grew up in a coal mining camp west of Boulder, and I lived most of my life in the shadows of the foothills east of Coors Brewery. Four generations of my family trace our roots to turn of the century Colorado settlers who worked in mines and farmed around the front range in eastern Colorado and throughout the Mountain West from the copper mines on the Arizona/Mexico border north to Montana and Idaho. All for a better life than they left behind in Europe.
“Kept” had me in full smile when It finally dawned on me who Herr Kohrs really was, as the settlers turned south towards Golden. Aside from the story’s simple and satisfying entertainment value, it served as a reminder that the past is really not that far behind us. Nor are the cold, impartial laws of nature that far removed.
Thanks for a very pleasurable read. ***** Based on what I’ve made my way through so far, I would love to see an anthology of the combine stories from Writers Go West. Happy Thanksgiving.
Loved the story. I recognized Kate and Johnny-Behind-The-Deuce and was feeling pretty good until you told me who Kohrs was (and Golden was in the story.) I dropped some IQ points with that revelation. I had never heard of the Newton, KS shootout. Thanks for that. As to the story it was a fun read, some editing errors but I didn't find it bothered my enjoyment. Getting the unholy group together so they could be eliminated was a stretch but hey, it's fiction. Great story. 5* from me.
40 people, including me loved this story. One person, so far, didn't.
Perhaps Merryman was looking for more sex and failed to recognize a good writer with he saw it.
I echo all the acolades of the other folks that love Oshaw's work. I also look forward to the next story, "L"
Thank you
Michigan fan
You write wonderfully. And with such imagination! Gretchen is a Real Hoot!
Your knowledge of history is very good and your tale of Zeb in the west rings true. All we needed was a few Indians to menace the wagon train. Love your work.
Very good but you have some serious Kate/Megan issues to fix at the start of page 4. You were swapping their names so much you lost context and flow for a while.
Ya got me, I did not see the Korhs thing coming until Zeb went to Golden.
It's all been said, this is a great story. Defentlty a John Ford or Sam Peckinpah
directed film based on a Louis L'amour idea. Scripted for a Gary Cooper or Jimmy Stewart, with Kathryn Hepburn, or Maureen O'hara. I love those old western.
Thank you very much.
Thank you, please keep them coming. Now that you are on "L" don't use the Love thing. Looser and then prove it wrong?
Jim H.
Because, if it wasn't for her, I'm not too sure whether or not we would have got this new oshaw story right now (two posts in a year! How blessed are we!?)
And one of the things this world needs, right now, is definitely more stories written by oshaw.
Love this one; big fan of Western tales, and "Kept" is definitely right up my alley. My only, personal problem with it is how a little bit rush it seemed to conclude - every character in it seemed to get a decent follow-up, but, curiously, not Megan. Sure, sure - she's a teacher and a mom now, but how about her relationship with Zeb? Doesn't fell like there's any problem in the horizon between those two, but I wouldn't have mind to hear it directly from the narrator himself. But hey - talk about grasping at straws here...
As always, your contribution on this website is very welcomed, oshaw; never be a stranger.
Wow a true love story. Its a great first. Read for me with this author. I will read more.
Your stories are never disappointing and always a pleasure to read. I hope you make to Z.
Boyd Percy
Love a realistic love story. Love deserved justice being delivered without hesitation or uncertainty. Thanks for your time and talent.
makes good reading for great writers, TK U MLJ LV NV
Great story telling, as always. One of the best. Thank you for this tale.
great job, this would make a best seller in the days of the westerns!
Why didn't he brand the oxen when he bought them to prove ownership?
Best Western so far. Those pesky Mormons still are a bane wherever they are in control. Basically all of Utah except for Bluff. A Garden of Eden.
A couple of nitpicks - There was no indication of the shift to the flashback, or more importantly, the shift back! And maybe we'll see it later, but why not show the initial conflict with the Wagon Master?
I can't help thinking of the TV host when I see Megan's name, even if it is spelled differently!
LOL, first Gretchen fixes them up, then breaks up their first kiss!
"I didn't know! I was just following Kate's advice!" - LOL, I was wondering how an innocent young woman would know about blow jobs!
Another Five Stars!
I've enjoyed all of your stories here -- my personal favorite is still "Equation" -- and want to thank you for your TWO contributions this year.
I had a feeling up front that Megan was "spoken for" when she offered that her stepfather had paid her way but offered no other details. My assumption was 'mail-order-bride,' not proxy marriage. Nice wrinkle to complicate matters!
Like others, I loved the way you wove several historical characters into the narrative, and I'm another big Gretchen "the ox whisperer" fan.
Timeline and geography bending is always OK in stories, of course! ;-)
Somehow this got deleted:
What away to get letter "K"! I hope "L" isn't far behind!
It is always a pleasure to read the works of a master. One who plans his writing with an outline and then forms his characters and adventure into the minds of the reader. Thank you!
Entertaining and enjoyable.
Thanks oshaw for another engrossing read.
I know I am late to comment but this was as fun of read as I have had here in a spell. Had a Josie Wales vibe that thoroughly kicked ass. I would have loved Doc and Kate to show up for the finale. It did bug me that you threw in the Llano. You could have used the Platte River Valley just as easily.
The Pea Ridge Battlefield was the first Civil War site I ever visited and Newton did have the distinction of being, if only for a while, the most dangerous town in world.
I kept wanting to make the Coors connection but the Herman part kept throwing me.
Your characters were all awesome, the scenes paced expertly and the plot as unique as I have seen in a western.
Thank you for the share.
Right up there with Woody when it comes to the old West. Great Story. Thanks for sharing.
Definitely not with the crowd. I gave this story 3*s.
This just cannot hang with the quality of "Grief ", "Equation, or "Balance " or any of the other stories by Oshaw. It didn't have his emotional impact, the seamless flow of his other stories.
I'll mosey alone, lol 🤠.
AMerryman
Have to agree that the women folk here were great characters. Fighting only with shotguns requires great strategy to get the victim surrounded.
Oh O, you've done it again by writing a Five Star western. I'm so glad you took Randi's invite to write a western. I just love the story, even tho you confused Megan and Kate a few times. Thanks for this one. Semper Fi.
"Komm, stupid hell beasts." Still laughing over that one, and the rest of her interaction with the oxen. One of the most enjoyable minor characters ever. Story wasn't quite as good as most of your others, felt a little rushed at the end, but Gretchen makes up for that.
You certainly kept it entertaining. A girl who can only cuss in English? With a pet ox? That’s quite imaginative. Nicely done.
I loved everything about this story. Oshaw is simply in a class of his own. One of the nicest guys around, too. Always complimenting other authors on their stories. You're a class act, Oshaw. I can hardly wait to see your next story. Please make it soon.
Almost gave up on commenting on LW stories...but I REALLY enjoyed this. I found it a very enjoyable read. 5 stars from me! BTW ready for your next one...please.
Thanks for the story.
"Buckeye Fan"
Oshaw, you've done some simply excellent writing, so it's kinda petty of me to nit pick...But
The secret of Damascene steel, or more properly "pattern welded" steel, is now widely known and presently practiced here in the US and elsewhere to great effect.
The knives James Black made weren't true Damascus which was wrought by a different method ,from egg shaped, individually smelted, masses that were imported to Damascus blade makers from afar.
Most all the great blades of legend as well as the Japanese Samurai swords were , in effect, pattern welded laminates of high carbon alloys and mild steel or pure iron in different variations.
. . . it is reading your stories. Well written, great plot, fascinating historical references - just lots of fun to read. And, as another commenter mentioned, you are one of the nicest guys on this site. Thank you, again, very, very much. Hope you have a great holiday. Needless to say, 5*.
I will read this one more than once. I normally read 5 to 8 stories a day & this is one of the best.
I loved it. Such a great break from the who done somebody wrong story line
Best that I've read in a very long time, would love to see like this
Nothing that I could have written for the western challenge could have held a candle to Oshaw's well constructed, compelling story. Great job by a great writer.
Very nicely done story, except for the phoney Lost Cause propaganda at the start. Grant was dead right when he said, about the Confederate army, "Never was more valor shown in a worse cause". True until the Nazi Wehrmacht of WW II.
This story is an example why oshaw is one of the very few authors I claim as a favorite.
Having grown up in late 40s and through the 50s in the shadows of the battlefield of Pea Ridge and now living close to Gainesville, Alabama I found an immediate closeness to the story. Historical note, I often toured the old Elkhorn Tavern while it and the old battlefield were in private hands before the place became a National Park. The owner was the daughter of the owner during the battle that took place. The tavern was used by both sides as a hospital. She and many of her family spent the entire time of the battle hiding in a basement under the tavern. I still remember her descriptions of the blood dripping through the floors and pooling on the floor. By the way if your are a history buff you know the South's name for the battle was the battle of Elkhorn Tavern.
going to read more of your work
sorry I could only give you 5 stars
We can sit around pretending the articles of secession don't explicitly state the reason for seceding to be slavery or we can praise Oshaw for finally writing a protagonist that didn't have the sun shining out his ass. Me, I'm just hoping he doesn't return to perfect protagonists in his 'L' story.
I cowboyed outa there in the late 1960's. Town was cleaned up by then but still sported a "hangin Tree" in park complete with a rope & noose....
Hell of a place to live....
The tails of the 19 th century are akin to your yarns here in Australia. all of which i'm glad I didn't live in those days. still it gives colour to the telling.
Liconol didn't want the south to cecede because of all taxes on cotton & the Yankkee ships brought the slaves over & made a tidy profit in doing so . they were sold into slavery by their own kind & still goes on today over there
That was excellent....
And ftr... The confereracy most certainly does equate with nazi germany... Actually... They were worse... They enslaved and murdered for 250 f×××ing years... While the hollocaust was roughly 11 years in duration... White denial...
Anyway... Again... Just excellent...
-jaye-
I really liked the story. The Kate/Megan switch was a minor error already pointed out by several readers. There was also an error regarding the hawk/rattlesnake incident. “Had circumstances been different, the snake may have bitten and coiled around the hawk and crushed the breath out of it.“ A rattlesnake is not a constrictor like a python or a king snake. It bites and poisons its prey and does not coil around prey after biting. The poison does its work while the snake waits nearby until the prey dies, thus avoiding the possibility of injury during the victim’s death throes. These mistakes were minor and in my opinion hardly detract from a great story. Five stars all the way. Thanks for writing.
There is a small name mix up. Megan scoops up Gretchen, not Megan
As a notorious nitpicker, I consider it a sign of a good story when I don't even notice name switches and such!
Okay, I'll admit to loving westerns, and I'll admit to loving romance stories. This my friend is the best I have read in a long time.
Thank you so very much for your very enjoyable tale.
Really enjoy your stories!
Baton Rouge Cajun
The name mix up truely had me mixed up for 20-30 seconds before I figure out it had to be an error, and not a tricky switcheroo by the auther.
Of course 5+stars
another GREAT one from you. love the detail and how smoothly the story flowed
As a Zane Grey fan since childhood, I truly enjoyed your short story. My only complaint was it's brevity, great job. Maybe more LaMour than Grey, but still an excellent read.
You could have included Bat and Ed Masterson too, but you've got a pretty good bunch of Western references here even without them. Especially "the kid from The Crossing". Louis LaMour featured him in one of his books, but I don't recall seeing him in any other fiction.
Really looking forward to your next effort.
One of my peeves is that there are tens of thousands of tales here, and I must randomly pick, until I find a gem. I almost did not click on "Kept." Makes me wonder what other tales I have missed. As I noted years ago, about books: The title is not interesting, or the cover art is not intriguing, so I pass what might have been the best I've ever read.
Very satisfied that I read this. As a critic once said, the mark of a good story is that you would like to get to really know the characters. Oshaw, you have written some interesting characters.
Now to go read your other works.
Thank you.