by Mentalcase
I love this series, I have to say that it is one of the best on here, keep up the good work!
I love the voice's comments that are made! Great impression of what everyone is probably thinking! Keep 'em coming.
I am with everyone else, the voice makes the the story pretty awesome. Its good but the voice adds humor. I look forward to this every morning.
Jerry in Washinton State, USA - Going on vacation brings out a lot of possibilities. Like most your readers, I was hoping Mike and Sarah would finally fuck, but I figured there would be some interruption. You wrote the scene well where Emma realizes she's jealous and wants Mike as her lover. I did notice one oops in the "almost fucking" scene. Sarah tells Mike how much she appreciates his new relationship with Danni, but you accidentally call Danni "Sarah". That oops is understandable - most writers have done that in their stories when they have several characters. Back to a comment on Chapter 2, I neglected to mention how much I loved your turn of phrase "It was like he was living near a PMS tornado in an estrogen hurricane, desperately trying not to get swept away ..." - very nicely written. Of course, I look forward to what surprises you have in store for everyone during the vacation. I agree with other readers' comments - your story is excellent but Mike's voice within his head pushes the story into the outstanding category!!
Vacation sounds interesting, just wonder if Mike realizes that mean all of his sisters in (hopefully) very skimpy swimsuits, and other arousing ideas. Question, am I the only one that agrees with the voice, well sometimes.
This story is fast becoming one of my all-time favorites. It started a little light but I thought the premise was intriguing so I continued on. It Just keeps getting better with each new chapter. I love the tease and the interplay between the characters. The voice in his head is really driving this story forward. Keep it coming, looking forward to much more.
First thing I look for whenever I come on is an update to this story. Great work... just wish the chapters were longer as I just want to keep on reading!
Sarah talks about being glad about Danni and Mike being close and accidentally refers to Danni as Sarah.
Loving the series though.
who cares what bra size imagine whats best for your mental picture of the girls. I love Emma catching him with Sarah great job!
"I know this is a totally different topic, but I just wanted you to know, I really appreciate how sweet you're being with Sarah. She's been through a lot ..."
I think "Danni" is the intended person since this was Sarah speaking.
Best line EVER:
"Ate at the crab shack, ordered the furburger, enjoyed a nice side of snatch, gone muff diving, munched carpet, sunk your tongue into a nice hot steaming bowl of sardine sau..."
I can just guess, but based on the descriptions I would peg Beth as being a DD or maybe even an E, Sarah as a D, Danni as a C and Emma as a B or smaller.
That is how I view them, anyway.
Inner Mike is an ever lewder version of Bob the skull from the Dresden Files, if such a thing is possible.
WOW CAN'T STOP READING THIS!
...who hears his inner voice as Vegeta from DBZ? If i am, try it. It makes this even more hilarious.
@Mentalcase, in case you see this, good job on the story! I've been pulled right along. All the charaters are distinct, and your writing is good enough that it being omniscient third-person didn't make me put it down.
A couple of small errors here and there, but hardly enough for me to nitpick about. Thanks for sharing the story.
teell em to come on down to good old grand cayman
and btw its the cayman islands not the grand cvaymans
grand cayman is the biggest of the 3 islands
"...I really appreciate how sweet you're being with Sarah."
Should say
"...I really appreciate how sweet you're being with Danni."
Lol to the last poster! Thats too fucking funny, and true! Mikes the whiny assed whipped wishy-washy pussy douche and we're the voice telling him to grow a pair, man up and quit acting like a fucking twelve year old over hormoned boy whose afraid he's going to get cooties! Rofl!
I havent read this in a while and have missed it, but had almost forgotten how much I hated the dude and his fucked up ass the first half (or better) of the story! Lol.
Oh damn I wish I had sisters to fuck who cares about incest I would marry them and have kids with them. Yeah!!!
ok yes i would just fuck them to but any one reading this story more than one time would becuse it is evedently a fetish of ours but not every one is not ashamed/embaresed about this paticulir twist just because of the social stigatisum that goes with it
what does a virgin in Arkansa say when she looses her virginity ok dad get off me i need a smoke
I'm reading the whole series, and I totally love it! I'll comment when I'll have read it fully. But I found a small error in this one:
"I know this is a totally different topic, but I just wanted you to know, I really appreciate how sweet you're being with **Sarah**. She's been through a lot and needs someone strong to cling to. I'd never have thought that you two could be so close."
I think it's not "Sarah" here, but Danni.
Mike must have a brain tumor pushing in the wrong spot or something, lol! Almost got caught, doesn't lock the door and go back to fucking his sister, moron! Lol.
Worst case scenario, all your sisters catch you fucking Sarah, they get angry, pissed etc. you keep fucking her (till you finish then, and later on too!) because you two want to, and hey, the cats out of the bag so not like the family is going to unsee it, lol. They'll be angry for a while, then just mad, then neutral, then talking to you both again, then accepting it, then (if not already, of course) horny and jealous, then trying to trip your dick into them, because fair is fair brother! Not like they'd call the cops, give them pictures and send you to prison, lol.
This story prolly ranks (think Ive read all but the last chapter or two, cant remember, wanted to reread it again anyway!) in my top ten on the site of fun multi-chapter reads. If he wasn't such an angry, hostile, reverse of the average guy pussy, it would make my top five! Hehe. He's one of those characters that you don't know if you love to hate him or hate to love him. I won't give the story away, but for an oddball teaser... If I were Sarah, at a point later in the story I'd tie him face down on his bed and with all the girls watching, whip his ass good to punish him!! You'll figure out why soon enough, hehe!
Just after Emma listens through the door there are several real bad typos.
At this point if I hadn’t read this before and didn’t know what was coming I would say it would be best for Mike to lose his virginity with Emma because they’re twins and then he can fuck Danni next because of the love they end up having.... I probably didn’t explain myself the best lol.
You've got a typo, I suspect you mean 'Danni' and not 'Sarah'... ""I know this is a totally different topic, but I just wanted you to know, I really appreciate how sweet you're being with Sarah."
I've been waiting for the green eyed monster to emerge. Women don't share men well, and sisters are the worst. I await reading how you deal with this.