by totallyatease
I do hope that we may be able to tempt an epilogue from you. Did they manage to get pregnant from this passionate weekend in the Lake District (or the hasty up-against-the-wall encounter after Laura's visit)? Did they have a wedding after their respective siblings'? Will Izzy continue her secretarial business, or join her husband's firm? Will Daniel make good on his promise to change the nappies and get up for evening feedings?
I guess I'm having trouble leaving Izzy and Daniel behind!
You used to be one of my favourite writers on this site, but this whole story has been so badly written, especially with you ignoring ALL the advice I have seen about punctuation and grammar etc. It was constructive, but obviously you don't take any pride in your work, if you did, you would edit and make use of the advice given, I won't read anything else by you.
i very much enjoyed this story i am sorry to see it end can't wait to read your next offering
This has been a delightful and fun story. A romance and coming of age story in one.
I agree with the request for an epilogue - especially because I'm also curious about how her sister reacted seeing as she spent plenty of time protecting Izzy/trying to get her to move home.
i agree with previous comments, i just cant leave them alone and i need to know did they get their happy ever after?
i think your story was well paced and kept my interest throughout and not many do that these days.
well done.
I really loved this story. I too would like to see an epilogue.
I really think your punctuation and grammar is great, it shows you take pride in your writing.
Thank you for a Brilliant story and I hope there is more to come. Thank you
Peter.
PS. I look at your name and I wonder is it.......
Totally at ease.... OR.....
Totally a tease.... Just wondering???????
...as always! :)
Hmm, don't know why, but it seems to me, that Laura could/should have some interesting story to write about too! ;)
… just a few minor criticisms; earlier in the story Izzy went to the factory, there were hints that Daniel was left a broken man from a previous relationship, his fortune whittled down to the house/estate and the factory, and the factory seemed to be struggling.
So you were setting up a scenario where Izzy could help the factory and rebuild the man.
But then you use Izzy's accountancy as a device simply to locate her near Daniel instead of becoming important in the business plus there were even lines where people (in the story) were worried of Daniel's treatment of Izzy.
So my complaint is that I don't think you quite defined the relationship consistently. Daniel had baggage and had to be reminded that Izzy was not his ex, therefore do not treat her badly, while we discovered that Daniel was damaged and Izzy should have rebuilt him … but it never quite came to anything. There was really never any conflict or drama in the relationship. When Daniel thought that Izzy wanted to spend time with an old male friend it was an opportunity to develop how Daniel could treat her badly, equating his ex's behaviour to Izzy and the old friend, but it got glossed over in a very civilised manner, you missed a chance for some conflict, tension and drama there.
SO I enjoyed it and congratulate you on taking on a long piece for this site and writing it technically well, but feel you missed some opportunities to really fully develop the characters and storyline. I also feel some of the dialogue was a bit stiff, as if you admired Pride and Prejudice a little too much for modern speech patterns.
All of these comments are meant, and hopefully received, as constructive criticism, not maliciously written and designed to offer food for thought and, I hope, in a manner that will help you grow.
So well done, I did like it and I hope you are encouraged to continue to write and I hope to see more very soon.
A great story but somehow the ending seemed a bit too rushed. Needs an epilogue for closure.
something is definitely missing and rushed here!! A good corny story deserves a much better ending!!!
I've enjoyed ALL your 'corny' little romances and hope you have another one in the works to start posting very soon. Thanks for sharing your talents here.
Very sweet & romantic. Great job but I agree it does need an epilogue.
This might be the only story on this site that would be better without sex. It doesn't make any sense and makes me dislike Daniel. In earlier chapters he could force Izzy, but had enough respect and willpower not to. After they had sex he seemed to stop caring for her as a person and only cared about her as an idea (having a petite baby popping wife). Also, why he insists they get married makes no sense. Jessie and Richard have a public relationship and date for who knows how long before finally getting engaged. Izzy and Daniel never date, just flirt a ton and fuck for a week, yet somehow they know it's love and not lust / infatuation (It doesn't help that Daniel physically coerces Izzy into agreeing to marry him). You would think Daniel would be more hesitant with relationships, although his only criteria seems to be 'small'. And Izzy isn't any better, her independent spirit comes and goes at random.
To be fair the rest of the story was really good, this just cut it to short. (I mean really good. The characters might have been cliches, but at least they had character. The plot and pacing, while a bit outlandish, were believable) It just ended to fast. I wanted to other people react to Izzy and Daniel. I wanted Daniel's ex-wife to show up. Above all I wanted them to stop acting like love sick teenagers.
I especially enjoyed imagining that the dragon in question was the male. Seems there are female equivalents!
Cheers, Hank
I enjoyed this story alot. It was sweet, funny, cute and hot in turns. It was overall, a nice story to read. I'd maybe have loved a bit more of adventure for the two, but as I said, it was overall well-done
thanks!
ps- i always loved dragons...the ones that breathe fire...i like this one too ;)
good storyline to this but tied up way too quickly! i was waiting for Daniel to have it out with Izzy about her lying to him about her illness but he never did, so i don't really understand what this added to the story? i also fail to understand how Izzy tamed her dragon when all he actually did was take her to the middle of nowhere and have sex with her until she submitted to his will? sounds like the other way round! also had a problem with the relationship between Izzy and her sister, her sister i frankly found a total pain, and Izzy just totally ignored this and forgave her everything she did. i didn't want repetitive fights but this was honestly one of the weakest heroines that I've ever read about, she seemed to choose when to be independent and when to be a total wimp!
aside from this it was essentially a good storyline and i did like Daniels character, but i think a few more chapters, less of the frantic-lust-marriage-in-a-week, and more consistent characters would have done your writing much more justice :)
although it seemed a little rushed. Are you considering an epilogue?
that was super. the way he described it the marriage....wow... I wished every man would think like him about a sharing a live together
thanks
Totally a tease , Ms totallyatease !!! Excellent story series , pl. write more .
you are a remarkable writer. i really enjoyed your story and hope you write more like it. hope you enjoyed writing it as i enjoyed reading it.
I love this story, I love all the other stories in this series. I love the series. I love Daniel and Izzy. I love them together, I love the sex, I love innocence in Izzy. Fuck, I love you right now for writing this! Its totally amazing. 5 stars all the way through. But page two, is just a tease! Expecting some loving to go down, and I get "the end". Still love you and your work though!
Amber
Corny, sappy or old-fashioned .. Whatever. It was good, well written and I throughly enjoyed it!
I agree with the other poster ... An epilogue with their HEA would be a lovely conclusion to this sweet romance. Please consider doing it.
Do you write as Ann Corbett ? I will def give those books a go, if that is the case, coz I really enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing.
So glad I was finally able to read it all it was an amazing story. I only wish that it didnt end ^_^
Are you fucking kidding me? You gonna end it like this? What the fuck is wrong with you?
but loved this one as much the second time.
Whether you are totally-at-ease or totally-a-tease, you are totally a great writer!
Totally enjoyable and really hated to see it end. Some writers leave it up to the reader to surmise the ending but I prefer to follow the author. As a plea to the good nature of Totallyatease I implore you to add another chapter. Thank you for a great read!!
I truly enjoyed this story, if you keep up with the comments you will notice that the last 2 stories I did not comment on. I only comment on completed stories. no completion, no comment.
Ed
Just really like your storytelling. :)
don't know how many times I've read this...and I want more so I've favourited it!!
I love that it is silly and sweet and old fashioned. It's such a happy story. You're awesome.
Fabulous story! I love the way you closed it. No unanswered questions, no uncertainty. Very well written!
Finally!!an author who finished the story with NO loose ends!!!
Thanks for this so enjoyed story. Have become “totally at ease” with the superb writing of this author, although she is “totally a tease” in leaving us for the commercial writing world. Wish her all the best and will seek her there. 🙂
A BEAUTIFUL STORY TO SAY THE LEAST. I FOUND IT TOTALLY ENJOYABLE AND IT KEPT MY INTEREST. I JUST HAD TO READ IT TWICE. WHO SAYS SEX HAS TO SELL A STORY? THIS ONE SHOWS THAT NOT TO BE THE CASE. BRAVO!!
Thanks for sharing this lovely story. There some points in later chapters where it seemed a bit uneven, but that may have been personal quibbles on my part. Izzy was a wonderful character, Daniel really was reminiscent of the Beast, and Jessie was great as the loving but all-too-nosy and overly protective sister. There was plenty of angst but some humor, too.
Would give 4.75 stars if I could, five since I can’t.
Thanks again for sharing.
Anonymous-19
The story reminded me of the Betty Neels novels I love so much. They have nothing more that hard kisses in them, and I wondered what her stories would be like brought into the modern times. Thank you for letting me experience that with this story,
I loved it, but where was the triumphant return, where everyone celebrates? Where was the happy ever after?
I know this isn’t a new story and it’s unlikely the author even looks at the comments here, but, that was too abrupt an end, it just falls off a cliff as far as storytelling goes. It needed an engagement party to quell the sideways looks and silent disapproval, it needed a joint wedding between the Brothers Harker and the Sisters Parkinson, it needed cousin Roberts nose rubbed in it, it needed Izzy to return to the house & Mrs Coats as the fit and proper Lady of that house, but most of all it needed an Epilogue! Gah! Why don’t you writers get that we read these stories in part for that happy ever after? When you write a romance story, do you think it’s too cliched to do that small thing for us? Yours disapprovingly, Ppfzz.
I dislike the weak and frail female character, also the domineering macho, didn’t like it. And the sex scenes where meh