All Comments on 'Fifty Shades of Beige'

Sorry, I've never made a negative comment on here but cannot let myself look for another story without saying the below.

I forced myself to keep reading until I got to "flesh sword of love" and "sex plunger" ....??? Seriously? I stopped reading at that point and won't be finishing. The story has some merit, but your wording is ridiculous and you have made it difficult to follow....telling the reader first what happens in summary form, then trying to go back to describe it. Nothing to keep the reader's interest as you've already summarized everything. There's no character development, and no continuity at all.

I think you can do much better. Write as an adult would, don't be afraid to say dick, cock, pussy or cunt. Tell the story starting at the beginning and expose your characters' personalities and such as you go. Your idea for the story is sound, now you just have to figure out how to do the rest. Good luck!!!!

Very funny indeed x

Hilarious !!

The other comments proved the point,the Yanks never did have an understanding of English humour.Funny beyond compare!!!!

Surely Stockport County isn't that bad hehe and watch out for pot holes as well

What color pills are you people taking to think there is humor in this? And the author bio says Yank, not anything about being Brit. So an all around wtf.

What a fun romp through the thesaurus and the pseudo sexual silliness that exists in many of the "sexy" books on the local shelves. Well done

Do you NOT know that your character Rip Torn is in fact a REAL American actor?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rip_Torn

Note!

Elmore Rual "Rip" Torn, Jr. (born February 6, 1931), is an American actor of stage, screen and television.

Torn received an Academy Award nomination as Best Supporting Actor for his role in the 1983 film Cross Creek. His work includes the role of Artie, the producer, on The Larry Sanders Show, for which he was nominated for six Emmy Awards, winning in 1996. Torn also won an American Comedy Award for Funniest Supporting Male in a Series, and two CableACE Awards for his work on the show, and was nominated for a Satellite Award in 1997 as well.

Let the lawsuits begin.

Useless garbage. Besides, University of William Shatner doesn't even exist. No wonder you are such a feeble writer.

WOW!

Do you not recognize ironic parody when it slaps you in the face? ‘Tis a pity when purely prurient pearls of lascivious libidinousness are scattered before such solecistic swine.

I thought this story was pretty good, until you got to the part with the Top Gear reruns. That was neither safe, sane, nor consensual, and while I get that this is fiction, and that you may not necessarily be glorifying Top Gear, I was instantly turned off.