by miss_devine
loved this story,it was real! not just a bunch of ohhhs-and mmmmmmms,it was real-hope you do more soon.
the dialogue is poorly written. New paragraph for each speaker. "Your" used for "you're" and "past" for "passed" and it goes on. An editor will greatly improve your work.
This site needs more stories like this one: loving, credible, sexy as hell, and beautifully scripted. I enjoy the tribute to 50+ women, too - far too often overlooked, and that's a disservice to everyone.
Others have noted a few editorial glitches. If those are cleaned up, this will be a true jewel.
Welcome to Literotica - you had a story that was both sweet and erotic, and told it well. Keep up the good work.
Surely you have written before. That was sooo good. You will do very well. One of my fav catorgories.
Really a great story, wish I had your talent enjoyed every bit of your story almost sounds like it is so true. thank you hope to read more of your stories
please share more of them with us.
I read the first page of the story and my lap top nearly fell off my lap from boredom! It moved slowly if it moved at all. I was not even encouraged to read the latter two pages. Sorry!
I liked it a lot. Very well written and erotic in it's own way. As for the statement about older people not enjoying sex? Why the hell not? If the body and spirit is willing and able, then go for it. Thanks for the story.
I just love 50 something busty women - I hope we can have many more stories
a fantastic story love the writing do hope there's more parts. to this awesome story.
a fantastic story love the writing do hope there's more parts. to this awesome story.
Outstanding! Loved it...well written, well thought out, the descriptions were wonderful, and the lovemaking was tender and gentle, passionate and loving! Top notch effort!
One of the best, if not the best story I have read on Literotica. So tender,loving and believeable. Just fabulous!! Keep up the good work. It just seems like it is a true story rather than fiction. It must have been written by a woman because her feelings and her running commentary cannot be written by a man.
Thank You
Like most of the other comments, I liked this story a lot. You use the hopes-and-fears of the protagonist to build up the tension, with some lovely love-making to provide the relief. I would recommend that you brush up a bit on grammar and punctuation, but do, do keep on writing.
A wonderful, tender, romantic and darned hot story! Enjoyed it thorougly. Surely you've not exhausted your ouevre with this and CH2?
If a writer has strong characters and a strong, believable story, I'll stick with it. In this case, the story was well worth the effort. Nicely done. 5*
After reading this story, Dawn wasn't the only one left breathless; the pacing and the increasing sexual tension made this such a romantic and erotic tale that I felt drawn into the narrative as if I were a participant myself. Could use some editing but otherwise beautifully written.