All Comments on 'Loss'

I thought this was very good. Loved the line breaks on crickets. I'd change the comma after 'mouth' to a period.

especially pleased it was written with my word challenges :)

Terrific , Remec ---5-ed .

It's the repetition of "crickets" and the sound of it that made this short poem remarkable as well as the mourning for me. It says so much with the few words, all of which seems to fit so well.

greenmountaineer (Lit's not accepting my log-in for comments on poems for some reason.)

on getting a comment with substance

congrats to the person leaving it

5ed

but with reservations:

still tastes sweet in my mouth,

good

even touching your hair felt wrong.

even better

but

lonely, mournful song

puts this in song territory i.e. hook is a cliche

also be nice to see a little more comments from you, good practice

A really good piece! I liked it. Thanks for posting it.