All Comments on 'Beach Dream'

but a little too long and tiresome with the trite deus ex machina escape from the reality. How does a dreamer live inside two characters? Truly there are some good sexy things in this poem but I'd redo the ending as if it was a real happening. Wet dreams are kind of for teenagers, full forward is for adults.

"her altar of sweet, wet holes" is one terrible line, also I've never met a woman who could masturbate while being power fucked, maybe I will, n'est–ce pas?

and at the beach. TK U MLJ LV NV

I agree it's too long. Poetry is more inference than description, Beach Dream. Point the reader where you want him or her to go. If you can, I suggest you Google Ezra Pound's short essay "A Few Don'ts By an Imagiste" that has some good straight forward suggestions. I think if you pare back your poem and apply some of his suggestions, you'll like the result. That said, if you like what is here, that's the first thing that matters.