All Comments on 'A black woman speaks of her bottom'

I just don't like the title for some reason, in think it lets the poem down, just my opinion.

I'm going to disagree with tod, LeEIIan. Perhaps because of the rather unpoetic (IMO) "B" word in popular culture here in America, I liked to the title. I loved the crisp assertive language. It connoted a fierce pride, all in all one of the better erotic poems on Lit.

my rich nubian earth

where the romantic congo river

splits my pleasin' hills--- home

-----Elysium to a Bottom-lover : beautiful ode to magnificent Nubian derriere ----we bottom lovers worship the bounteous backsides of Rihanna , Beyonce ...& Serena .....!!!

The wealth of nations lie between the legs of its women.

I like the title and the way the poem celebrates the woman as earth and comforter of warriors. The language is simple, strong and direct which is also a big plus. I would capitalize some of the words, like Nubian, Earth, Congo and I'd cap the title, too--A Black Woman Speaks of her Bottom. I think all that would give your poem more punch. I also am not sure why the Congo is romantic--maybe another word would give better info? And "shed your fear of color" to me does not work as well as just "shed your fear of me" or even just "shed your fear" because when you add of color it seems as if the point of the poem is to say something to people who are not black and to me that weakens this otherwise really strong poem.

Just my opinion and I love your writing. This especially caught my eye~

My ancient eyes writing

their own poems

....on so many levels. When comments on this poem are confined to doubts about the title - which I happen to like - and capitalization, it must have merit. The juxtaposition between land and body is well done, subtle not hammered home. My thanks to gm for pointing me here. Welcome LeeIIan, looking forward to more of your poetry.

Simply beautiful and strong. I like this very much.

Very impressive. Including the last stanza. Perhaps especially that.

Five.

speaking to the masses of the ages, TK U MLJ LV NV

Excellent!

It is what got me to read your poem. I hope you know what a strong voice you possess. I would like to see this poem strengthened a bit, but I want you to know that your work touched my heart. You are good, never doubt that, but keep writing and growing! Nurture your voice and then go get published other than Lit! This is a good place to start :)

~ maria

Thanks to everyone who commented here. Your support and constructive criticism,

which I also take as support, means so much to me. This is a very special poem for me; that it has touched so many of you makes it even more so. Thank you again!

hope to see more of your work, this is exquisite