by GirlintheMoon
Yeah . Didn't connect as a reader with this pitch from mega-talented author . The aesthetics and snowflake sensibilities of characters hijacked the humor and danger elements that GirlintheMoon usually has centerstage.
Maybe if an adorable moppet , possibly neighbor's kid had been added to cast of characters that could have added pathos and comedy spice and disguised fundamental blandness and vapidity of main personages? Oh wait ! That dramatic ' irresistible tyke' arrow inhabits another luminary scribe's quiver. Never mind.
An interesting take on the sharing idea, helping them get over the loss of the baby. It was very well written and I'm glad things didn't fall apart for Heather and Jack.
Great job, GitM. If it wasn't for the huge misstep of including Yankee references that weren't complete negatives, this would have gotten a 6 from me. You'll have to settle for a five.
Grate story!
As a rule, I normally have to as take a deep breath before attempting one of your stories because as talented & insightful that i think your stories are, I personally find them to be slightly demeaning & chauvinistic. Therefore, i was pleasantly surprised by this tale & the fact you chose to leave him with some dignity.
Thanks again.
GitM has the ability to bring characters to life. This was a believable little tale of loss and second chances. Thanks for the hard work to give us readers something special for the holidays!
Always a pleasure reading your tales, filled with emotion and insight...well done. With this story, it was a hard topic you chose to base your story on, feelings of despair and truly raw heartache felt by all. I do feel Jack was pressured into the whole affair though, Heather had transferred her affection to David and Kirsten, not completely but quite a bit. I understand that it was a way of healing for her, but I can't help wonder if she continued going to their house alone what would of happened. Heather also felt a need to pay them back for the kindness and understanding...she kept going towards the fire instead of stepping back from it...it's how most affairs start...Jack realized he had little choice as he saw his wife become less interactive with the separation of not seeing them for a bit. In the end, was there this "TRUE CONNECTION" they kept expressing, because the closeness over time disappeared...just my thoughts...well done again.
kind of guy and your wife suggests doing otherwise, start moving money and plan your escape.
I gave it three stars for the writing, but withheld two stars for the situation in the plot. Emotionally vulnerable people were playing with dynamite. People with a counseling background (Heather at minimum; David and Kristen perhaps - I can't remember whether they have formal training and whether their counseling at their home was personal or professional) should be especially attuned to the dangers associated with playing with this dynamite.
Two people in a place of power, take advandtage of two emotionally fragile (almost emotionally crippled people) for sex. This type of thing is not phuqing sexy!
I thought this was a wonderful story with realistic characters sharing a common loss and finding a creative way to re-start their lives. A story about very ordinary people doing extra-ordinary things.
Combine such a fascinating scenario with flawless writing, and I have to put this one down as my favourite GitM story.
Lue
I had a big smile on my face at the end of this one. For some reason, this had a Christmas story sort of vibe to it for me, in the best possible way.
I knew the characters and cared how they moved on. That’s hard to do and thanks for that. 5.
I really gave it my best. But no matter how technically well written, now matter how well paced or how believeable that characters were, I just couldn't like this story. I wish I understood why writers make their more "experienced" couples feel like such deceitful and manipulative characters, unless that was their aim.
Established as "councelors", they both set to work on the emotionally vulnerable wife and then went after the husband, even trying to positively reinforce the experience with a "friendly" man to man chat, with the MC feeling rightly pissed off at the "fatherly" dominance hierarchy the guy used to convince him that Jack's instinct was just stupid adherance to no doubt "patriarchical" societal norms.
Nope. Sorry, not convinced.
Your usual quality: better than 99 percent of anything written. You never cease to amaze me. Great story, great characters, great writing. You are the class of any group you are in. Five stars, of course. Randi.
What a complex tale, simultaneously lustful and loving. Not the usual thing. GITM always delivers, and I love HEA endings. Five stars from me.
loved it almost completely, i could REALLY do without the
“Get over the macho shit, Jack. Get over that I have a dick, too, and I saw your dick, so if either one of us has to feel a little insecure, it’s me. Get over what society has brainwashed us into thinking. You’re not a cuckold, you’re not some schmuck. "
it's so....preachy. and dumb. like...for such smart people it's just a go-to psuedo intellectual collectivist thinking that's fashionable...yes...it's only popular...it's not exactly based in science. i'm actually really sick of it. all the easy digs at men...since men aren't wired to treat women like men, they let those nasty barbs slide...and smart idiots like this older man swallow that because...they wanna fit in.
you've heard it all before, 'who hurt you?, typical insecure male, male ego, toxic masculinity, insecure male.' the irony is his insecurity is NORMAL, and he just needs to work through it...the REAL brainwashing is this professor preaching male insecurity. people....get insecure...it's a normal emotion to be processed. but it's hard to look at reality as it is when colored into collectivist...tribal....man-hating.
like...what the older guy said earlier was spot on, why throw in pop-culture masque ring as fact.
Because, of COURSE, the "CREATIVE way for them to restart their lives" after suffering multiple miscarriages is...(drum roll...wait for it!) FUCKING OTHER PEOPLE!
“Does this help? Because this is enough for me, truly. I don’t need them.” - I know it would kill the story, so why bring them in?
"They hardly know us! Or at least, me." - Yes, Heather's been spending a lot of time with then without Jack.
“We don’t have to do anything." - Except, of course, they do!
"It’s just that they have come to mean so much to me and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore." - That means that you have to stop seeing them. Sheesh, it's not rocket science!
"it was evident she missed her friends" - Okay, it's been a few weeks now, time for things to cool off, get back together as FRIENDS, as COUPLES. Make it clear that that's ALL it is, forget about any sharing/swapping bullshit, no more Heather being alone with them.
She's willing to drop it, let it fucking drop!
“I think we should try again." - WTF? It seems like they all felt more or less disappointed, and he wants to try AGAIN?
"David’s eyes glowed with renewed excitement" - I guess we can all see who's driving this bus!
Five stars, but I'm glad they got it out of their system, as my comments indicate, I would have pulled the plug much sooner. But then, there's no story!
But totally unconvincing. Even though you wrote this story well, you really don't understand the pain of going thru a miscarriage, or two, or three. Each one takes a piece of you with it. The pain never goes away, even when you have a baby or two. The pieces are always missing. When you tried to convince us that breaking their marital vows not once, but multiple times, was some type of panecea for their problems, I wanted to throw up. The facts are that both men are cuckolds and both women are cheaters, regardless of whether or not they had their husbands or wives temporary permission. They all have to live with the consequences. I also noticed that the first go around no one used condoms. Not good. The fact that after they consummated their games in the same room, their relationship fell apart was no surprise. Who wants to constantly look at the others faces and be reminded of their actions? They ALL felt guilty as hell. Yes this was well written. But your solution to their problems was awful. I look forward to new stories from you. But for me, who has lived thru the nightmare of loss, this was a failure. Thanks for the effort.
This story about an unusual relationship that developed out of shared tragic personal events was crafted and resolved in a loving, learning, and very humane way. Panacea is a fit title for this wonderful tale.
Thanks you for sharing your amazing talent and creating this outstanding Five Star experience.
Thanks for a good view into this foreign demographic.
I Enjoyed the read excellent writing. Lots of elements of real life love, tragedy, being devastated, healing, extramarital emotional distress, strength, and everlasting love and true happiness. It’s all believable and I hope it happens to someone somewhere.
Makes as much sense as telling a positive plausible believable story about communism, or some other Utopian ideal. The only thing we need to suspend is thousands of years of knowledge and understanding of human nature. Yeah, remove the typical weaknesses and failings of human nature and polyamory community fucking is a lovely pastime. Kind of like a group block party, or marathon. Just some hot sweaty exercise that is fun, pleasurable, but meaningless.
It could be such a healthy harmless diversion, makes you wonder why its almost always sick, and destructive. Until you think about it.
Thanks for the effort. Think nothing of it.
I've said it before, of course, but I will say it again: GitM is the best writer I know. Full Stop. I tell stories, but she has real writing ability, there's a difference.
For those of you that hate her stories but are drawn to read them anyway, that's probably one of the reasons. Love them or hate them, her characters are never one-dimensional, never boring and feel real. She writes complex people in screwed up situations who have to make difficult choices. Sometimes they make good choices, sometimes bad ones, but never boring ones.
frankly I thought, oh well, there're a bunch of stories I won't be reading but then I read one, then another one, and another, and another... so far I haven't read one I didn't like, this one included. GIM always writes from the heart. It's what always makes her stories so good.
This is just outrageously good writing. You almost made me believe it could happen.
The idea of the first time being like Reggie Jackson jacking 3 dingers against the Dodgers in game 6 of the 78 series was where I thought this was headed. You played a different hand and pulled of a huge coup d etat. This is no "never ending polyamory" yet some pillory you. The shared intamacy was a band aid and when the wounds healed the dressing was pitched. Hubby's head was thoroughly explored. Your dialogue, which typically rates among the best in any story venue may have been overdone. This is a tale of healing and rehab. Because I respect your talent I really look for faults and they are tough to find. Digging deeper, perhaps a lack of spontaneaity was responsible for the ho hum first session. A sterile hotel room and the rules detracted from the comfort and ease of their past interactions. Once again you killed it. Thanks for sharing and for challenging yourself. I am also very much looking forward to your Caged Cocks Cuckold Christmas submission!
Your writing is good as always. But my disbelief failed to be suspended. Heather and Jack's marriage is now fucked no matter what you say. You completed your writing assignment as instructed. Good job!
I love your writing and this story is no exception.
I do not like this story however.
I almost stopped several times because it was making me nauseous, not do to your writing but because you write well and I cannot see this happening.
You did not sell the swapping and I was riding with Jack due to this being from his view.
I just wanted to pulverize David and I could not fathom him allowing this.
When David gave Jack a pep talk towards the end and grabbed his shoulder, I just saw red and could not imagine not destroying his face.
Great writing and attempt. Turned my stomach but I appreciate the effort.
But for me it all just felt wrong, like a hammer was going to fall and it was all going to turn out bad. If the couple hadn’t made love together for six months because of their loss, this sudden need for sharing just seemed forced, another reason why I thought maybe they were being drugged and led down a path of no return. Then when it didn’t turn out bad, in fact turned out good, I felt oddly disappointed, as though I had gone through unnecessary therapy.
Your stories are soooooo good. Even when the subject matter is not my cup of tea. Your ability to flesh out characters with nuance so subtle. You make me feel like I know them. That skill is extraordinary.
Todd172 is no slouch, he tells wonderful stories, but there is a difference. It is like comparing Ton Clancy to John Steinbeck. Both enjoyable to read but there is an artistic difference. The only author on this site that I personally put in this league is Dreamcloud . (I am sure I missed one or two) Real literature. Thanks for the story.
I think you did it beautifully. How could two people in a truly close, loving relationship find themselves falling into a swap with another couple? For me, it's almost impossible to imagine--but this seemed about as plausible as anything I can think of.
And, of course and as always, your writing is sensitive and expressive. Thanks so much for your stories!
ohio
Very difficult subject, and read for me. Losing a child had to be the worst thing ever for parents. That part made this really hard to read for me. Then you throw in the Swinging is Healing, and it just pissed me off. I really think the two women should have had an affair on their own, and let their husbands go to ball games, and such.
Very well written, met the sharing standard set. Five Stars even though I didn'tcare for it.
Beautiful effort, and the best attempt I have read so far at really addressing the “sharing is caring” theme. I just couldn’t buy the inevitable progression to the swap. The logic blocks just didn’t line up. Maybe it was because the story was from the POV of the character least invested in the swap that I couldn’t get behind the idea. Still, the husband did share the wife out of a sense of healing and loving after a loss.
Regardless of good comments what you have here is a fantasy with bunch of characters that look to me like they came out of Ellen De Generes dresser. Swinging made into a lemonade that is. So much sugar a reader gets a diabetes just by reading it. The reality is that swingers are promiscuous irretrievably hollow people and no amount of candy (aka "caring") can make them look any better. You are describing a fantasy of swinging, not the ugly reality of people that have no commitment to anything else than their own hedonism.
The start of the story was realistic [I've been the husband in the same situation, we didn't do clothes - for us it was Duplo]. I must admit I can't imagine getting into a situation like this one, but . . . . we are all on Literotica for the sex, so . . . . I prefer a more graphic description of the sex act - what ever act that is. GirlInTheMoon concentrated on the feelings associated with this act, that's fair enough, it's her story. All that said, 5 *'s
No matter how much one tries to spin the narrative, they hollowed out their marriage by breaking their vows.
They could have gone to a neutral professional therapist, jointly and severally. But no.
Other options were open but led to fucking other people as a first resort. As soon as a spouse starts bringing it up, even if to feel the waters out, start watching them. Bringing in someone else or more to play, for whatever reason, opens doors that should never be opened.
I’ve not experienced the emotional turmoil of a lost pregnancy, or the stress of infertility. I’ve seen the effects of bot on friends and family, but that’s nowhere close to what they experienced. The story is unusual, although the circumstances are fairly common, almost as though the author had first hand experience. It’s well written and seems plausible - I can’t say it was totally enjoyable, though some of that is just me: I would be the guy who got so uncomfortable about the idea of another man with my wife, that the marriage would be irreconcilable. Given the choice of sharing or divorce, I go with divorce.
Oh yeah, this year is our 25th anniversary. I understand about the challenges of marriage, lousy meddlesome in-laws, and the importance of communication. In this story, neither of the primary couple were remotely good communicators. He wouldn’t talk about his issues, and she took to telling a crowd before her husband. Terrible treatment by both, to each other.other
So I’ll say the story is well written and interesting, but not among my favorites.
everythings lovely in the world. No problem a bit of wife swapping can't fix..
My wife of 40 years had a multitude of miscarriages. One at 4 months pregnant. We we're modern NYC residents. At no time would we have felt this behavior was useful or acceptable..
I really liked this author before this. I loved her realism. But healing through swapping is bull and she ought to know it. Swapping destroys. A really big disappointment.
But, really, it's a worn out trope in LW. There are a number of stories in which sex with someone not one's spouse "heals", "saves lives", and other inane bullshit. If you would willingly suspend disbelief for this plot (and the others), you'd probably believe Bubba is about to do something intelligent when he says "Hold mah beer."
is to let your wife be a cheating fuck slut and raise another mans baby as your own?
Naw, I;d rather be alone for the rest of my life than with a cheating cunt
For those who can't get over their moral anxiety: Why are you here again? Not for stories where sex happens? Too bad, wrong place.
Or do you need warning signs put up at the beginning of each story?
Maybe we should propose a disclaimer:
"This is fantasy. Don't do it at home. May be the wrong recipe to rescue your marriage. May totally enrage your minister / mother / father / in-laws. May make you want to masturbate. May not make you want to masturbate. May make you want to write dumb comments instead, e.g. about realism, immorality, cheating is cheating, marriage vows, damage done to your feelings, not enough sex, too much sex. Please don't read if you are easily offended by anything different from what the bible says. (Don't read the bible; there is talk of sinful sex, too)."
A couple/therapist....use the tragedy of another couple who lose a baby...to seduce them into their own desire.... to fulfill the couple/therapist personal swinging fantasy.
In reality, the death of a child puts incredible pressure on a marriage and that stress many times leads to divorce. That stress was conveyed quite well.
I have no problem with what they did, what I found difficult to believe was that fixed their marriage.
I have mixed feelings about this story. This is a very touching story that feels wrong on so many levels. 5 stars.
All of the stories I've read of yours are some of the best at drawing the reader into what the characters are actually experiencing and this one was no exception. However, this topic, one that needs people to really understand and appreciate rings close to home for me. My sister lost a child 2 weeks before her due date and it ultimately unraveled her marriage and she struggles with grief to this day, decades later. A close family friend's daughter lost her baby similar to my sister, but her and her husband rallied around each other, had their first child several months ago and are stronger from the experience. NO WHERE would swinging with similarly grieving parents filled that emotional void. It just doesn't happen, so for that, I gave this 4*.
mildly interesting, well written. still with the odd unnecessary ´to´.
any baseball references turn me off.
likewise, the american preoccupation with procreation.
i liked the anal sex. just a predilection on my part. not every one of my women enjoy it, but they are generous, for which i am very grateful.
so, three stars.
a favourite author nonetheless.
U find this premise disgusting… losing ones unborn child is a traumatic event.. if not healed it has the danger of driving the couple apart…. The worst thing that a couple whose emotional bond is so frayed can do to further damage it is to engage in emotional or sexual trysts with others! No this story really sucks!
Yeah, not buying the whole swinging with other as a means to get over the emotional loss of a child. I certainly don't see how it would help build or repair the bond between a couple. On the contrary, just seems selfish and self destructive. If you have to turn to sex with others as a means to repair a relationship then your relationship is not worth saving. Just seems to cheapen and make the whole experience of loss and grieving meaningless and trite if not down right sacrilegious.
"So the trick to getting past a miscarriage is to let your wife be a cheating fuck slut and raise another mans baby as your own? Naw, I'd rather be alone for the rest of my life than with a cheating cunt..."
Let me guess: you're alone.
It wasn't cheating. The husband agreed to it and participated in it. I mean, I understand, you don't like cheating. But don't use every story--even ones that don't actually involve cheating--to tell us that you're alone.
These characters are unfit to be parents. So annoying that this website is filled with this sort of writing.
Very well written story on a difficult subject or loss and recovering from it. Congratulations on a job well done. Ignore the small minds.
And they all lived happily ever after, exactly as all thos pushing the sharing cucking agenda would have you believe. But somehow the numbers always come back in the negative. Folks in swinging tend to think a four year marriage is a long time, goo listen to the pod casts , it is easy to confirm. Men that get involved can never ever win, they are just so stupid as escalation will always put the man down and at a huge disadvantage. It is a certainty.
interesting but too long or "talkie" for me. wonder who fathered the baby, LOL
The characters' motivations in this story are quite certainly the worst, most implausible I've ever read in LW. I guess that's an achievement of sorts. Losing a baby is a tragedy indeed, but swapping wives has probably NEVER been tried as the antidote to bereavement.
I understand the attraction to trying this lifestyle but I’m not brave enough to do so. I believe that the Law of Unintended Consequences never takes a day off and once the red dog gets his nose in the wind, I have a hard time calling him off.
This author did a fine job constructing a scenario ideal for the couples to experience sharing and cleverly plotted to minimize disastrous fallout. The natures of the characters also helped. Heather was a temptress: ‘Here, Jack, just one bite of this apple’ (sparkly eyes, big smile) and Jack was a horn-dog, looking at Kristen and popping wood like a clown blowing balloons for animal figures. I still felt they dodged a bullet.
The style was smooth and tight, as is this author’s standard. I did catch one sentence ending with a preposition; a slight wobble during the routine. You still stuck the landing. Blame the coach/editor and hit the showers.