You Don't Want Me

I must admit that my panties felt a little moist. I was probably also smelling down there. When Simone encouraged tops to use the rope as handles to move us bottoms around, I felt a bit of communion with the other bottoms that were rolled onto their back and also lifted up into the air by some strong tops. During one roll, I was resting against his groin for a moment. I could feel his erection. He was breathless and busy to move me away from his body. So strange to be with essentially a stranger and both in an embrace with our own heat triggered.

I felt a bit disappointed when Theodore started pulling out all the rope in reverse. In a way, the moment had been so present that time didn't seem to move, but time always moves. I could also sense in the room a bit of relieve and also a very mellow mood. Way in the other corner, I could see a woman who had slipped out of her dress and had been tied up only in her panties and topless. She seemed really excited about that coming out and achieving that spot on her bucket list. I felt a bit jealous. In a way, I had been scared of what could happen, but I had also really wanted to happen what I was scared off.

Suddenly a girl sat down in front of me. She wore oversized jeans and a sloppy sweater. Her hair was all matted together, which gave her an odd look because she was Asian and Asians usually have smooth hair. She seemed very at ease like she was one of the members running the place. The first thing she gave me was that look of "I'm here to rescue you," followed by a wink of "I'm going to give you a really great experience."

"Hey, I'm Jen! Do you want to experience some more rope?" said Jen.

I replied politely, "Yes, please!"

"I like it all coy and well behaved! I saw your face. I could tell that you were burning for more," Jen said confidently.

Theodore got up and walked away. His confidence was quickly blown away. I felt pity for him. He seemed like a lost soul suddenly. He didn't seem scary anymore.

Jen moved her arms down my shoulders to feel my biceps. She touched me like she was a craft person or sculpture seizing up the material. But I could also tell that she was testing me. She was testing how open and receptive I was. She was looking for me to surrender and embrace her touch. I wanted to experience what she had in mind to offer me. I wanted to please her. I wanted to tell her that I trust her. In short, with a firm look into my eyes, she had turned me into a eagerly wanting to please good girl.

She doubled up the rope. She laid the loop across my belly. She reached around my body to bring the rope around, put it through the loop, and got the other direction. After a couple wraps around my torso of neat lines of rope next to each other and firm snuck tension, she looked deeply into my eyes. Her brown eyes had the pupils dilated wide. I felt like I could tell a bit of who she is. She had a lot of dog energy about herself, upbeat, energetic, and ever optimistic. She held that gaze while she made a knot into the end of the rope like a bead.

With intent eye contact, she seemed to signal a question: Are you going to squeam? She held a confident: I'm going to find out behind that question like I had no choice. The rope turned down from my belly button towards my groin. She placed the knot right on my clit. Then she pulled the rope under me, pushing her hand under my hips, full brushing. Then she lifted the rope end up behind my back to cut the rope into my pussy and between my butt cheeks. I knew that this was a red pill/blue pill moment. If I didn't take the red pill fast enough, the opportunity would be gone. Also my gently stimulated pussy with its moistness was sensitive. I gasped. I felt woozy and wobbly like I wanted to surrender to her. Without a plan, I let my body lose its self composure.

Jen quickly grabbed me by my bicep with one strong controlling move. Her face grinned proudly. I knew that I had passed the test and that she appreciated me surrendinger more. So l let go. I trusted her. I wanted to be embraced by her energy. She swiftly moved my wrists together and lifted them over my head until my elbows pointed high and my wrists were behind my neck. She lifted up the rope from my groin and tied it to my wrist. Her knee made me arch back. I gave her as much as I could so that she could tighten my wrists closer to my groin, but the swift moment that it took her to tie my wrists, I realized that if I tried to sit up straight, I'd pull the rope up and make it dig into my pussy and ass. I had to keep my back arched. I couldn't hold myself up I had to let myself fall back into her. I could feel that Jen enjoyed my body so surrendering to hers. She moved me around left and right.

Then I lost track of where the rope went on my body. I wanted to be touched by Jen. I wanted my body leaning against her. I wanted her hands to brush against me all over. I got the strong urge to feel her lips on mine. I could smell her body. I could smell the difference of her armpit, her mouth breath, and her chest scent as she moved all around me. I couldn't help but let out little gasps. And the gasps seemed to train Jen. She became an eager good girl trying to please me, trying to get me to gasp more. When she got a bit of a moan, she seemed really proud. She learned that her feeling me up and pulling me close to her body is what rewarded her with those moans. And when I must have been tied up really well, her hands were grabbing my breast and her mouth was right next to my neck. We had broken some kind of boundary of crochet nerd club. Her moist breath was right on my skin.

"I think you want more of me," said Jen into my ear.

"I do," I whispered back.

"There is a members only play party upstairs," she offered.

I knew what that meant. Behind the member velvet rope, they were having full on sex. I had seen all the supplies in the closet. Well I didn't actually know how it would happen. I simply knew sex, hot wax, and whips were up there.

Jen pulled the rope off of me. I think we both couldn't wait. People around us were packing up. One of the organizers was already stacking the puzzle mats in the corner. The stair lights had been turned up brighter for a buzz killing vibe. There was a traffic jam of people leaving. Simone and Bertrand were handing out friendly hugs to people leaving.

We walked to the second floor. There was no security. The whole building was more like a residential home where people who were part of it moved around freely. The upstairs looked like a private residence made to look swanky and club like. There were swivel chairs at the bar. There were fluffy fake fur carpets. There were couches with fake leather that were definitely made for easy wiping. There was a Marlyin Monroe dress moment poster. There was a big wooden X cross for bondage. But there were pretty few people there. It was like it was early for the party.

It looked almost like a boring Sunday afternoon. When Jen asked the bartender for two nonalcoholic cocktails for us, the bartender wasn't even dressed formally. He seemed like a buddy who simply served a couple friends drinks. The blond, curly wig on the barstool to my right seemed a little odd and out of place. When I noticed the wig moving on its own, I thought I might be dreaming or drugged. I looked closer. It was actually a head, not a wig. And then I noticed that the woman was giving a man a blowjob. I hadn't quite registered the man. He was as still as a mannequin. I was also taking in everything and so focused on Jen tha I hadn't even noticed a couple giving a blowjob right next to me! I felt startled to be only two feet away.

Jen seemed to notice. She said, "Yep, all limits are off up here." She said it was a smile and a sigh, and a tone that implied that I was as eager to achieve that freedom as her. Then she grabbed the hair on the back of my head, pulled my head a bit back and went for a deep French kiss. The kiss took my breath away. I have never kissed a woman like that before. Her mouth was so wet. It tasted so much of jen. I liked it. There were feelings in my body awakening. Her tongue went into my mouth, I felt for her tongue to sense where her tongue was moving. We had a dance of tongues that naturally happened.

When she pulled back from the kiss, her face looked satisfied and sad at the same time. "I like boys, too," she explained. "I really wished that it could have happened. But don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you anyway.

I wanted to protest that I didn't know what she was talking about. But I knew that she had realized that I wasn't a full on or at least experienced lesbian. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to ruin what we felt. I didn't want to lie. I had never prepared a speech to explain to someone that I really liked their touch and it filled me with so much joy but that at the same time, they didn't give me that button click in the head of complete turn on.

We sat in silence for a while. More people came. Some people wore sexy, kinky outfits with high heels and lots of skin. Others showed up in comfortable lounging clothes like they were here for the sex without the wrapping - very matter of fact. I tried to make up with Jen because I missed what I felt downstairs. I gently caressed the back of her neck. She only looked back at me with sadness in her eyes. I wanted to hug her: "Don't cry!"

Sloths are unrelated to monkeys. They are furry, friendly, cute fellas. Her metabolism is so low that she moves very slowly and deliberately. Despite that, she is a nimble swimmer who swims with a doggy paddle. Do you hear that? That's her mate calling from across the river. It'll take her an hour to move the twenty yards.

"Here, I'll give you a welcome gift," said Jen.

She got up and moved towards the area with the wood X-cross. There was a table with hanks of rope. The armchairs, mattresses, and couches created a space here. I stood there, hapless, feeling sad about missing Jen's attraction to me. It had felt so good to be in the center of her heat. I would have done anything to get it back.

"Can we get you out of your clothes?" she asked.

"Please, yes!" I felt relieved that I could please her in some way. I started pulling the crop top over my head. When I saw a couple heads turn to me, I felt a cold sting - like oh-my-god-they-can-see-me. And then I didn't want Jen to see my hesitation. I wanted to please her. So I pulled my maroon purple pants down quickly to compensate. A shot of hesitation came across me as I touched the back of my sports bra, but terror to get Jen interested in me again made me scared of hesitating. I pulled my panties down and my socks with it. I presented myself naked to her with a gesture of: please take me back!

There was a little smile on Jen's face that gave me such a relief from my emotional torment. I started feeling awkward being naked with people watching, eyes glancing over my body from low places on the lounge furniture. I wanted to be back in the bubble of love with Jen where I forgot about everything else.

"Are you okay with penetration of your pussy?" asked Jen.

"Yes, please!" I pleaded with Jen to take me back.

"Are you okay with penetration by a dick?" she asked.

I thought about it. This was all a lot. But I trusted Jen. She would pick the male version of herself. "Yes," I said. I could feel that the moment where she would handle me would come any moment.

She slowly ran the first rope through her hands to align the double up strands. She ran her hands over my body. I was on display for her. She couldn't help but grab my butt cheeks. There was that desire that I had missed my whole life - to be desired! And her face grew quickly cold again - despondent like she knew that she couldn't have me. Then, she ran the rope across my thigh right under my butt, then the other thigh, and then acrount the hip bone. She was building a harness.

"Have you ever been suspended?" she asked.

I said, "no." I was afraid to lose out on the attention that was starting to come back.

"I'll make sure that you'll have a really good memory of your first time. I won't be selfish," she said with a generous tone.

She fed the rope up behind my back through a ring in the ceiling. Then she lifted her body up by holding onto the rope. She made a couple jerks and I was off the ground. I could feel myself falling forward because the rope was below my center of gravity. She steadied me with a hand between my breasts and guided me slowly to topple forward. I was hanging upside down and looking out at the lounge. I was slowly turning to one side. My legs were spread wide. I do yoga and am a bit flexible. I was in an upside down split. My sex was fully exposed.

Jen smiled. She ran her fingernails across the back of my left leg towards the butt cheeks. "You are so pretty," she said. "And you have such a delicate vulva flower!" She was staring right at my chest. It was hard not to feel overwhelmed with the blood rushing to my head and being so exposed. For a while, she enjoyed my body by running her fingernails over any part that fancied her. I was hanging there, surrendered to her. I was happy to feel her touch again and to be in the center of her joy.

She gathered up my wrists and tied them to my ankles. Then, she ran the rope to my back to make sure that my legs were spread wide and straight.

All the while, I could see the ten or so people in the lounge watching me. I was their show. Their eyes were fastened on me, not to miss a single moment. I sure gave them mental stimulation and titillation. I felt a bit used - not in a negative way but in a having a function kind of way. There was a meaning to what I was giving them. I wasn't merely being in the world, but I gave something to people and they consumed it. There was a relationship between us - the watcher and the watched, a pact of give and take.

To be honest, this was beyond what I had planned and imagined. I was like a passenger along for the ride or a reader, reading a good book with suspense to find out what happened next rather than deciding what happened next. In one way, that took me out of my head of thinking about everyday things. In another way, that shoved me deeply into my head of passively observing.

From a drawer, Jen had gotten a black dildo and lube. She had put on a white strapon harness. "Usually people like to warm it up, but I like the surprise sensation of the cold," she explained a moment before squirting cold loop onto my pussy facing the ceiling. The sensitivity of my pussy was heightened from being so presented. The coldness in the warm room was so surprising. I gasped. Her flat hand smoothed the lube over my vulva generously. That moment, it clicked in my head that I was going to have sex. The whole sequence of arousal, coming, and after effect was a sure thing now. I only had to be quiet and not mess it up. There was a clarity in my mind: I'm going to have sex!

Her fingers played with my pussy, circling the clit, separating the lips, stroking the sensitive parts, circling the opening to create anticipation. She rolled a condom with her unlubed hand down the dildo in front of her pubic bone in the harness. The first entrance is always a bit of a shock and surprise. I had never had sex with a girl and a strap-on. I wasn't sure what to expect on how it would feel. With pride, she lathered lube forward and back on the dildo.

Then she waved to the room to come up. At first, I thought that she offered people a closer look. However, the black man with the unbuttoned, blue Hawaiian shirt picked up a condom from a glass bowl and audibly ripped it. He got out of his pants. There was a slow swarming of everybody in the lounge towards me. It felt a bit like a zombie movie - the lethargy in the movement and the deliberate goal.

Goldfish are a member of the carp family from Asia. They are the most popular aquarium fish. The fiery red fins are like kimonos floating through the air. It is said that those kimono limbs can flap so hard that she can jump into the air and flip a somersault before landing in another fish bowl.

Jen's hand had done a good job getting me wet enough to easily receive her dildo. It was still a surprise. It felt more slender than a dick. I could feel her enjoying getting the strap-on inside of me. I felt a tension easing from her like this was what she had been wanting to do to me from the first moment that she glimpsed me. Yet as soon as she entered me, she pulled out and left a void behind. I felt the pang of abandonment but assured myself that she was simply going to the next step in her plan.

The black man stepped forward with a pink condom on his dick. His legs were right in front of my face as he got close enough to get his dick into me. He had to strain a bit to bend his dick enough. His penis felt a lot fuller than the dildo. I get a sensation of fullness and satisfaction. Between his legs I could see that a line had formed of pantless people putting on condoms. There were two women stepping into strap-on harnesses. They were going to take turns on me. As quickly as he had entered me, he pulled out as well and stepped to the side. Jen took a sniff of his cock and said, "Jen, you are so delicious! Why couldn't you be a lesbo like me?"

"I do want your strap-on! I do!" I told her. She gave me only a face that appreciated the effort that I made.

The next man, a clean shaven, white, bicycle athlete body stepped up with the shine for a green condom. He entered my pussy. His penis didn't push so much at the back. He wasn't as hard. He slipped right in and snuck with that extra bend in it. His balls rested against my clit. He smelled of fresh soap - some kind of herbal scent. And he, too left me after a single stroke.

There was such a dissatisfaction from being left empty right after the rich sensation of the entry that the next dick, I hungrily devoured with my pussy, thrusting my hips into them. Jen approvingly caressed my thigh that was spread out. When the first woman approached me, I tried to be extra approving of the strap-on to show Jen that I liked it. She responded kindly by moving closer and caressing my thighs and buttocks while people entered me. It was actually pleasurable to feel the different sizes.

There was a plateauing to never getting any real thrust action. I had also run out of additional club members. Jen rubbed her hands across my pussy to make me come. It was a good release of a lot of pent-up. It wasn't like that first time when I had met Jen. Some beautiful things only happen spontaneously. And you can change that peak moment with all kinds of extremes, but beautiful moments can't be forced. They have to decide on their own to come.

I got dressed again. I went out into the evening. On the subway ride back to Manhattan, there was a Latina all dressed up and sexy. A guy was flirting with her and trying to get her number. I've learned that dressed up, spicy Latina stereotype is often all false advertising. She probably had less sex partners her whole life than I had today. Looks can be deceiving. Especially, in NYC, people live such diverse lives. You never know what's hiding behind this plain Jane facade.