The Extremely Full Monty Ch. 01

After my third beer, I was happy that I would be walking back to my loft.

As the crowd thinned out, Sarah was wrapping up with Katie. She saw me and came over, carrying two fresh beers. Handing me one, she raised hers in a toast. We touched rims and drank.

"So, what are we toasting?"

"To a fantastic start, a great cast, a fun show, and a guy who made it all possible. Thanks, Robbie. I mean it when I say without you this would not have happened."

"Be careful what you say,' I said. "There may be a mad crowd ready to run you out of town for making them look at my butt."

"Doubt it," she replied after a sip. "And, I am definitely not among that crowd. I could watch it over and over again."

"How many of those have you had?" I said motioning to the bottle in her hands.

"Enough to be brave enough to say you are one of the best looking guys I know, and look even better without clothes."

"Now, I know you're drunk."

Sarah held my gaze. "Yeah, maybe."

I helped her close up the building. We stood outside in the warm night air.

"Need a ride?" I asked.

"Katie's coming to pick me up. I just called her."

"Well, see you tomorrow. Let's hope the opening goes as well as tonight."

"It will," she said. She looked at me, hesitated and then stood on her toes to kiss my lips.

"Good-night, Robbie." She turned and headed to the corner just as Katie made the turn. I walked home trying to figure out what that last kiss meant. By the lump in my pants, I knew for me it was more than just an innocent gesture. I thought that Sarah was probably a little drunk and wouldn't even remember it. I knew I would not forget it.

Opening night was a smash. Word had gotten out and we were Standing Room Only. We had to take three curtain calls. Although we had done the mooning as a joke in our dress rehearsal, the audience would not let us go until we repeated the performance for them. It seemed it would now be an essential part of the show. With this crowd, not only were there whistles as we showed our butts for the bow, but a good number of catcalls and shouts of "nice ass" coming from the close to one-thousand patrons.

I was exhausted after the performance and slipped out the stage door. I was home and in my bed in fifteen minutes. I slept soundly and didn't wake until after nine on Saturday morning. I showered and walked to the local diner for a mega-calorie breakfast. It was my one indulgence each week.

I sat on the cracked red vinyl swivel seats at the formica counter. Angel, my regular waitress, had a mug of coffee waiting before I could say a word.

"Usual?" she asked. I nodded and she put in the order for two poached eggs, sausage patty, hash browns and rye toast. As I waited, Carol, the other waitress came over.

"Robbie, is it true you flashed that sweet butt of yours last night?"

Angel stopped taking an order and listened for an answer.

"I guess news travels fast," I said.

"When it contains news about six hunky guys showing their butts in public, you can be sure it goes at lightning speed."

Now the other patrons, plus the busboy were keyed in.

"Yeah, we opened the Full Monty at the Palladium last night. And I must caution you that it does contain rear male nudity. So, you may not want to attend."

Angel cocked her hip and said loud enough for the entire diner to hear. "Honey, if you're telling me that you're on the stage flashing that behind that always looks so good in those jeans, then I dare anyone to try to stop me from getting a front row seat."

She winked and basked in the approving laughter from everyone there. The normal din of conversation, rattling dishes and waitresses calling out orders returned and I enjoyed my breakfast in relative peace.

I stopped on the way back to the loft to pick up the New York Times and a copy of our local paper. I didn't expect the paper to have a review, but was in for a surprise. It seems that the arts reporter attended the dress rehearsal and wrote a review for the Saturday edition.

It was a rather glowing report and made the point it felt more like a Boston production rather than local theater. I guess that being in New Hampshire we shouldn't expect a comparison to New York. The reporter, a woman, said that it was also novel to have well-known local citizens appearing naked in the show. To my dismay, they mentioned me by name and ran a head and shoulders shot that had been kicking around for a while. Thank god they didn't use something from the show.

I arrived at the loft to see my land line blinking with missed calls. I had left my cell in the bedroom. I checked and saw I had ten missed calls and twelve texts. I clicked on the texts and saw that they were a mix of friends and family. Yep, my two daughters texted me and said they were proud and wanted to encourage me.

The last text was from Kathleen. She wrote, "break a leg. mom and I will b there tonite. told her to expect a great show. she wants to see butts. (lol)"

Maybe Kathleen really was trying to fix me up with her mother. I did some work around the loft, took a nap, had a light supper and was in the dressing room at 6:30. I thought I would be less nervous tonight since we had our opening. I kept seeing Kathleen's face in my mind, and relapsed into a semi-panic state. When Katie called for places, I steadied my nerves and went upstairs.

Tonight's crowd was even more raucous than Friday's. They carried on for close to two minutes at the Irene and Isaac scene. I had to hand it to both of them as they improvised and brought down the house. Isaac swiveled his hips and Irene's head followed the motion indicating she was watching a big dick swing around.

As we neared the finale, you could feel the tension building. From the wings I took a peek at the house and could see the line of standees at the back of the theater. Somewhere in that darkness were Kathleen and her mother. I rationalized that Kathleen had already seen everything I have to offer, so I just should get on with it.

As our pants fell to the floor the audience exploded. All the guys were pumped by the response and we let it fly. I was sorely tempted to throw my hat away I was so filled with adrenaline. Of course, I didn't. I did do some extra butt squeezes that drew more than a few laughs.

As we hit the last pose and the lights went down, I was almost giddy with elation. The audience was standing and shouting. When we mooned them, a roar shook the building. We had worked out a new move that even Sarah didn't know about. As we turned back toward the audience, I put my hat over Jonas, who was next to me, and he put his over my privates. The others did the same. The audience loved it. We made our way off stage in this way and as each person reached the wings, he'd lift his hat and wave it at the audience. I was confident no one in the audience could see our fronts, but it was a tease.

As the curtain dropped, Sarah called us all back on stage. We were laughing and joking with each other. She looked at each of us and shook her head.

"You know how I hate deviations from what I've staged," she said with hands on hips. "But, that was fucking awesome. We're keeping it in. Now go wiggle those dicks in front of someone else for a change."

Katie was in the wings collecting hats as we exited.

"Another great show, Mr. C. I liked the butt squeezes." As I stepped past her, she slapped my ass for a second time. I turned. She was blushing and grinning. "I've wanted to do that since the first slap I gave you. Sorry, just had to see for myself. Awesome butt, Mr. C." She gave it another slap and let her hand rest on my cheek for a couple seconds, moving lightly over my skin. I tightened my cheeks and she rubbed her hand back and forth. I quickly headed down the stairs as she stared at my erection.

Sarah was coming up the stairs and she certainly did not miss it.

"Are you really that happy to see me?" she quipped. We turned so we could pass. Her hand touched my erection and she sighed. "Don't keep tempting me with that thing, Robbie. A woman can only take so much." She ran her finger up my shaft and softly cupped my head. "Of course, I think I could take all of this." She pivoted and ran up the rest of the stairs.

Walking into the dressing room I received a ton of shit from the rest of the cast. Even Irene did her customary take while assessing my hard on. I dressed quickly and hurried out to catch up with Kathleen. I saw her and an attractive woman in the lobby.

She gave me a full hug again and introduced me to her mother, Virginia. "What, no hugs for an old broad?" I took her into my arms and dipped her slightly. She howled and I kissed her on the lips.

"Kathleen said you were easy on the eyes, but I never expected all this. Plus, your butt is much better than she described." I glanced at Kathleen who was now scarlet. I wondered if she also described the aroused state of my dick.

"And, she told me she was bringing her mother, not her sexy sister," I said in return.

Virginia grinned even wider, and slipped her arm through mine. "You are a charmer, Robbie. Now you get to ply us with liquor."

I offered my other arm to Kathleen and she took it. The three of us walked into the night. After an hour of drinking and fun conversation, I called a cab for the ladies and sent them on their way. I walked back to my loft with a mind filled with mixed images and thoughts. I was still shocked at Sarah's actions. The remembered feeling of her hand on my dick sent a little shiver up my spine. Her not so veiled statement about wanting me inside her had my heart pounding. I next pictured Kathleen's pretty face and wondered how I should interpret her mother's statement that said Kathleen thought I was hot. I had not been with a woman in over three years and now two attractive females were giving me fits—well make that three if I counted Virginia. Then I remembered Katie's hand on my rear and how she let it rest there. The look in her eyes was far from innocent as she eyed my erection.

I was woken the next morning by my cell phone. I saw it was Kathleen.

"Hi!"

"Robbie, good morning. I hope I didn't wake you."

"You did, but it is always so good to hear your voice."

"Oh, well, sorry. I mean about waking you. Uh, Mom and I are going to brunch and wondered if you wanted to join us?"

"Sure. Where?"

"We got a table at the Falls Inn. Could you make it in a half hour?"

"No problem. See you there?"

"Right. We'll look for you."

I showered, shaved and dressed. The restaurant was just far enough away for me to take my car. I kept two vehicles in the garage part of my loft. Today I opted for my old Aston Martin DB5. The top was already down and I enjoyed the morning sun as I headed to the Falls Inn.

Kathleen and Virginia were at a table overlooking the falls. Kathleen stood as I approached. I sensed she wanted a hug and obliged her. Her body felt soft and strong against mine. I sat next to Virginia and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"Sleep well, ladies?"

"With pleasant dreams, to boot," said Virginia. We all smiled.

Over brunch I discovered that Virginia was a funny, bright and adventurous woman. I could easily see the resemblance between mother and daughter. Like Kathleen, Virginia was tall and slim. Her skin was smooth while her blue eyes showed as much sparkle as her daughter's. She kept her silver hair short and I thought she was both attractive and sexy. We fell into an easy conversation, each of us sharing parts of our lives. Since Virginia's husband died, she had continued her passion for adventure and now had traveled to over twenty countries. She enjoyed hiking and photography, and still drove herself around. The conversation shifted to cars and she perked up when I described my Aston Martin.

"You know that was one of the most expensive cars when it was first introduced," Virginia said.

"You know about British cars?"

Kathleen rolled her eyes. "Mom used to tear around town in her MGB. All of the other mothers would just shake their heads when she pulled up at soccer practice to drop me off."

"Well, how'd you like a ride?" I asked Virginia.

"Robbie, the proper question is how would I like to drive it?"

I looked to see if she were joking, but Virginia kept a straight face. I turned to Kathleen and she just shrugged.

"Well, let's get the bill and get the hell out of here. Kathleen, I take it you can get home on your own. If Virginia and I aren't back in a day or two, just check the airport to see if we headed to Paris."

Outside, Kathleen watched us climb into my car. Virginia was as limber as a forty-year old, and slid easily behind the wheel. She hiked her skirt up revealing a length of firm thigh and put her hand out for the key. I buckled up, handed her the key and said a silent prayer. When the engine came to life, Virginia let out a whoop. "This is going to be fun."

With a wave to her daughter, she let out the clutch and we were off. I directed her around the traffic circle, and pointed to a road that took a back route to the next small town. I immediately relaxed as Virginia ran through the gears as smooth as silk. She cornered, downshifted, and made the car behave as an extension of her hands and feet.

After taking a particularly sharp bend and snapping the tail back in line, she shouted, "This is fucking fantastic." I turned to look at her and she smiled. "Pardon my language, but I couldn't fucking help it."

We both laughed out loud. We passed through a couple towns, and I asked if she'd like an ice cream. After her enthusiastic agreement, I guided her to a small dairy farm that operated a road side stand. She parked in the shade of a maple tree. I went around to help her out. I don't care how young you are, a woman exiting a low-slung sports car always is in risk of showing more than is considered decent. Virginia's skirt was now high on her thighs. She put one leg out and I took her hand. As she pushed off to stand, I was treated to a clear view of her white underpants. They were high cut and not the "granny panties" I thought a woman of her age would be wearing.

"I hope you enjoyed that, Robbie," she said as she straightened her skirt.

"Are you talking about the ride? Then, yes I did. If you are referring to anything else, I have to plead the fifth."

She took my hand and we walked to the stand. With cones in hand we sought out a picnic bench in the shade. We spent some quiet moments enjoying our rich treats. Virginia finished her Rum Raisin and wiped her mouth with a paper napkin.

"So, are you going to take Kathleen to bed?"

"What?"

"You heard me, Robbie. I know she would like that. I see how you look at her, and I think you want to do so. Take it from an old lady, time gets away from you. Don't put off things, go for them."

"Virginia, Kathleen and I just really met. We've only been out in social situations. I assure you that I was being professional."

"Robbie, cut the bullshit. Do you think Kathleen is pretty?"

"Honestly, Virginia, she is beautiful."

"Now, we're getting somewhere. So, here's the thing. I believe the two of you should give it a go. She's not been with a man since she and Manny divorced. That's over three years. How she doesn't go crazy, I'll never understand. I heard about your situation and I am sorry for your loss. You're still a young man. Have you had sex since your wife died?"

"Jesus, Virginia, why don't you be direct?"

"One of the benefits of passing sixty, you can say whatever the hell you want. So, have you been getting any?"

"No."

"Perfect. Take my daughter and give her a time she won't ever forget. From how she described your equipment, I don't think that will be a problem."

I smiled as I thought about Kathleen describing my erection to her mother. I was pleased to find out that Kathleen found it worthy of discussion.

"I really have to think about this," I said.

"God, Robbie, that fruit is ripe for the picking. Besides, if you don't bed Kathleen, then how about we follow through on that escape to Paris. I get really horny when I travel."

I looked at this wonderful woman and knew she was not totally kidding. I let myself imagine what it would be like taking her into my arms. I had a sense I would be learning a lot of things.

"Virginia, how about this? I'll think about it. If it doesn't work out, I'll give you a call."

"Don't wait too long, kiddo," she said. "There may be someone taking your spot. Tick tock, Robbie, tick tock."

I wasn't sure if Virginia meant taking my spot with Kathleen or with Virginia. In either case, I could envision a long line at both of their doors.

Virginia drove back to Kathleen's apartment. She lived in a small house attached to a larger apartment building. She was sitting on her porch reading the paper.

"Ah, guess I can stop checking the flights to Paris," she said with a smile.

"Yeah, I don't think Robbie could handle it." Kathleen shook her head. I had the feeling she found her mother quite challenging. I declined the offer to stay for dinner and made my good-byes. Virginia whispered in my ear as I hugged her, "Tick tock."

(Now the stage is set for what could be a challenging choice for Robbie. We know he meets the woman of his dreams, but is it Kathleen, Virginia, Sarah or even Katie. Maybe he'll meet someone else. The next chapter will begin to unfold the story of what happens after you show the Extremely Full Monty.)