Proving My Sanity

I woke up with an erection. Meena noticed that too. She straddled me and eased the erection inside her.

"I may not be a wife yet, but this is what wives do," she announced before bouncing up and down on me. Her hair lashed around, her breasts bounced, and I enjoyed every second of Meena's skilled love-making. I might have fifteen fiancées but I knew their lovemaking was different. Meena liked having her breasts squeezed when she was close to orgasm. I watched carefully for the signs that she was close before reaching out with my hands. My left hand missed on the first attempt because she was so active. Once I had a grip with both hands Meena was squealing in delight.

One advantage of my increased age is that it takes a considerable amount of stimulation before I lose control of my erection. Meena had reached orgasm three times before I came into her. She slumped across my chest. I hugged her warm body as we went back to sleep again.

It was five o'clock when we woke up again. We used the ewer and washbasin to freshen up before we dressed. As we walked back towards the Long Gallery Sumitra intercepted us.

"Cousin James had returned and he would like to speak to you and Robert. Shall I send them to your study?"

"Yes, thank you, Sumitra. Does James seem happy?"

"Happy? He's nearly as happy as your fiancées even if he hasn't said a word about it to me."

"Meena? Could you help me to the study? I seem tired again."

"And I know why," Sumitra said. "there are fourteen more who want to do what Meena has just done."

She smiled before turning away to fetch James and Robert. Meena supported me as I walked slowly to the study. She helped me to sit behind my desk.

"Shall I arrange for tea, Anthony?" Meena asked.

"I don't think so, Meena. I think brandy and cigars will probably be more appropriate."

"And you've got those in your left hand drawer, Anthony."

"Have I no secrets. Meena?" I asked with a grin.

"In a household of fifteen women? Of course you haven't, Anthony. Don't worry. What we know we keep to ourselves because we love you."

Meena kissed me before she left. Robert and James came in. James was smiling.

"Cousin Anthony," he said, "my suit has been successful."

"Congratulations, James, and congratulations to Emily as well."

"And your proposals, Anthony?" Robert asked. James looked puzzled.

"Your cousin Robert has asked fifteen women to be his wives," Robert explained. "This afternoon. Well, Anthony?"

"I'm engaged too. Fifteen times over."

"Congratulations, uncle."

"Congratulations, cousin."

I opened the left hand drawer, produced the brandy decanter, three glasses and three cigars. I filled the glasses and passed them to Robert and James. I lifted mine in salute.

"To marriage!" I said.

"To marriage!" They replied.

"And now to details, gentlemen. I am getting married in a Hindu ceremony on Wednesday afternoon. Robert has a significant role as putative father of fifteen daughters he's giving away. I had asked him to be my Best Man but the role of Brides' father is apparently essential. The Best Man has a minor role in Hindu marriages but I would still like a relative's support. Since Robert can't be Brides' father and Best Man, would you be my Best Man, James?"

"I would be delighted, Anthony."

"Thank you. Now your marriage, James. Any idea of a date yet?"

James' face dropped.

"There's a problem. The Bride's father isn't sure he can afford a marriage." James said.

"We suspected that might be the case," Robert said. "Anthony and I have agreed that we will pay for your wedding to Emily. It has to be soon. I'm returning to New South Wales in six weeks' time and I would like the new Bride and Groom to come with me. Is that possible, James?"

"I'll have to ask Emily, but if you two are paying, I'm sure her father will be agreeable."

"Then again I say 'To Marriage'" I said raising my glass.

"To Marriage!" They replied.

+++

Monday was a quiet day for me. Sumitra and Meena made sure I rested for much the time. Asha and Gita were busy with plans for dams and cricket. Every other woman, fiancées and staff, were in frantic activity preparing for the villagers' wedding tomorrow, the christenings on Wednesday morning and most of all for the mass marriage on Wednesday afternoon.

James had ridden back to his fiancée's house to discuss the wedding arrangements. Robert was helping Asha and Gita in conference with Mr Harris and Mr Singh.

James was back for dinner. Emily and her parents had accepted our offer to pay for the wedding. They had suggested the local Parish church here and James had already arranged with the Vicar for the banns to be read on the next three Sundays. James and Emily would marry on the Saturday after the third Sunday.

That night Sumitra was in my bed. She made love to me very gently and carefully. The contrast with Meena's frantic bouncing was pleasant -- different but pleasant. Sumitra could be an active lover but she thought I wasn't wholly fit enough yet. She was right. Although my fits appeared to have ended I still felt weak when I had done too much.

+++

On Tuesday I went to the church by chaise with Sumitra, Asha, Gita and Meena. Robert and James rode horses.

The church was crowded. I was glad that our family pew was large enough for the seven of us. The eighteen couples had to be in two lines in front of the altar. Their parents were delighted as their children finally regularised their partnerships. The back of the church was swarming with the happy couples' children.

After the service all eighteen brides insisted on kissing me, Robert and James. James was embarrassed because eighteen village maidens had decided he needed a full kiss on the lips, unlike the kisses on the cheeks for Robert and me.

We all went back into the church where my fiancées and staff had spread the wedding breakfast. I presented each bride with a purse, sewn by my ladies, containing ten gold guineas. They had expected that. They were surprised when Robert gave them similar purses also containing ten gold guineas. This time Robert and I were kissed full on the mouth. Their grooms appeared to be delighted too. Why not? Twenty guineas was as much as most of them earned in a year. A couple who had savings of a whole guinea would consider themselves fortunate.

We left before the proceeding became too much of a riotous celebration. It might not, but the wedding breakfast had included copious quantities of beer and cider.

We heard later that in fact the villagers had behaved well. Any beer and cider left was put into jugs to be taken home. Perhaps the forthcoming christenings deterred wild celebrations? I don't know.

+++

Wednesday morning, after a night in Gita's arms, we went back to the church for the christenings of my twenty-five children and forty-eight village children. The service seemed interminable. I had to stand by the font for all twenty-five of my children. Several of my wives discreetly supported me with a hand or two as the naming ceremonies went on and on. I had to sign twenty-five baptism certificates as the father.

I was pleased that I didn't make a single mistake in the names of my wives and children. Why should I? They were MY family.

There was yet another feast after the service, again arranged by my fiancées and staff. Robert and I handed over forty-eight bags each. Five guineas from me and five guineas from him for each village child. Then we gave my ladies the same for each of my twenty-five children. I had sent Mr Harris to the bank in the market town to get enough gold guineas for the distribution today and yesterday. Some of the larger families now had enough guineas to buy the cottages they lived in, if they wanted to.

I had to rest again once we were back at the house. This time Asha was with me as I slept. At half past two she woke me up, helped me to dress and we went to the Great Hall. There was already a large crowd present. Mr Singh and I lit the fire in the centre of the Hall. It was made of well seasoned wood so there was little smoke. He performed several rituals which turned it from just a fire to a Holy Fire dedicated to the Hindu fire god.

Robert was standing with the fifteen women. Prompted by Mr Singh he walked forward, recited the appropriate words for each woman, and placed her hand in mine one after the other until I had fifteen women standing in a group behind me. Sumitra gently shepherded them into order of age. She stood at the front of a line. I stood at the back. At a signal from Mr Singh she took a hand of the woman behind her who took the hand of the woman behind until I took the hand of the fifteenth woman.

Slowly we walked around the fire as Sumitra recited the vow dictated by Mr Singh. Sumitra then walked to the back of the line, just ahead of me, and we walked around the fire again with Asha making a different vow.

That continued until we had made seven circuits and seven vows. I took the head of the line and we started seven more circuits. Each time I made a different vow, the same ones as the first seven women had made.

The next seven women made a circuit and a vow each.

It should have been a serious ceremony. It wasn't. The presence of twenty-five children made that impossible, as did the giggling of fifteen wives as they tripped over each other on the circuits. Perhaps they shouldn't have worn their largest crinolines? They had difficulty keeping hold of the hand of the woman in front.

My last and youngest bride did a complete seven circuits and seven vows as leader before I took the front again and made seven more circuits and repeated the seven vows. When I had finished I stopped walking. Some of the wives didn't stop immediately and there was some confusion and giggling in the line.

I looked at Mr Singh.

"Congratulations, Mr Andrews and all the Mrs Andrews. You are now married according to Hindu custom. You have all made solemn commitments to each other to confirm your partnerships. I would normally say that the groom can kiss his bride, but this time I think I'll say, the brides can kiss the groom."

They did. I was surrounded by my brides all trying to kiss me at once until Sumitra pushed them into some sort of order. The assembled crowd of staff and children were clapping and cheering. Eventually cousin James and nephew Robert were able to shake my hand in congratulation. No sooner had they done that than all my brides wanted to kiss them too among much giggling and laughter.

Slowly we made our way from the Great Hall to the dining room. Once we were all present I clapped my hand for silence. I was gratified that even the children obeyed their father.

"Mrs Andrews, all of you Mrs Andrews, nephew and Brides' father Robert, cousin and Best Man James, children, staff and friends. I have a statement to make about today."

There was an expectant silence.

"When I married Sumitra in the Parish Church I also signed my will. When I am no more my money and estate will be in trust for all my wives and children. At the time, as most of you know, I had just recovered from a fever. I was worried that my marriage to Sumitra and my will might be challenged because I was insane at the time. So I wanted to prove to the village and the wider community that I was sane.

But who might challenge my sanity? At the time I thought my closest relation was my cousin James. I was wrong. My nephew Robert from New South Wales was my closest relation and I didn't even know he existed. I do now and I am grateful for him for adopting, if only for a few minutes, fifteen daughters so that he could give them to me in marriage.

But nephew Robert is much richer than I am. He doesn't consider me insane."

Robert interrupted.

"No, Uncle. I think you are very sane even if you have just given me fifteen new aunts."

"And cousin James will be his heir. James doesn't want my estate either. His expectations from Robert are more than he could get by challenging my will on the grounds of insanity."

"You're sane, Anthony. Very sane," James said.

"Thank you and Robert for those statements. However we had started to try to prove my sanity. Gita suggested that we should provide the village with a cricket pitch. We will, with Mr Singh's professional help. And Asha proposed that we should build dams on the river to stop winter flooding. We will, with expert assistance. Both projects were designed to prove that Anthony Andrews is sane and was sane when he married Sumitra and when he signed his will. But..."

I paused and looked around at my brides. I grinned.

"Although those projects will go ahead, they are useless, completely useless, as ways to prove my sanity. Why?"

I stopped again. I had puzzled them.

"They are useless because the whole county, society, and even nephew Robert in far off New South Wales, know... that I am insane. I had fifteen mistresses. Everyone for many miles around knew that. They didn't care. That was because they knew I must be insane to share my life with fifteen women. I couldn't prove that I was sane when everyone knew I wasn't. Now I have married fifteen wives. I am pleased and delighted that they all accepted my proposals and have now married me. Does marrying fifteen wives make me even more insane? No. It can't. I'm already known to be insane. Marrying doesn't change that. It's just one more proof of my insanity. If that is insanity, I'm delighted to be insane. It doesn't matter now. The only people who might benefit from proving my insanity think I'm sane, so in law I am."

"Anthony, can I add something now?" Robert asked diffidently.

I nodded.

"Mr Andrews isn't insane but society might think he is. We all know he isn't. He asked me to act as the Brides' father and James to be his Best Man. We were delighted and honoured to help. But because we did help there is no way we can challenge the legality of the marriages today. We helped Anthony to get married. We can't then say the marriage is a sham because we were part of it. Uncle Anthony has been very clever. These marriages may mean nothing in English Law. They are real marriages to him, to his wives, and to us, his closest relations. Anthony's fifteen wives are now our relations too. So are his twenty-five children. James and I are godparents to those twenty-five children. Before I let Anthony continue I have something to say to those who were my fifteen daughters a few minutes ago.

A father's duty to his daughters include giving them away at their marriage. But often he provides them with a dowry. That I will do. Each Mrs Anthony will receive a dowry of one thousand guineas from their new nephew Robert."

There were gasps from the brides.

"Thank you, Robert," I said. "That is indeed generous from someone who was a father for only a few minutes. I want to say one last thing as a new husband and father of children. As Robert has said these marriages today have little meaning in English Law. They are real to us but not to lawyers. When I married Sumitra and signed my will I wanted to make sure that you, now my wives, and my children had a claim on me. What I had forgotten was that as each child was born it was registered. My name and signature appears on each and every birth certificate, as it now does on every Christening certificate. My signature already meant that I had accepted responsibility for that child and that child's mother. In English Law I was already responsible for you all. My sanity or insanity was irrelevant. I have just made vows to love and support you. I will. Whatever my will says, whether I am sane or insane when I sign it, nothing can change my responsibility for all the women and children I love."

As I stopped speaking the dining room rang with cheers. James had been prepared to make a speech as Best Man. He decided not to.

+++

The wedding feast was a success. I sat down throughout. One of more of my new wives made sure I was supplied with food and drink. I was married fifteen times over, sane or not. But I knew I was loved.

+++

Epilogue.

James married Emily and the two of them went with Robert to New South Wales.

The Vicar was still worried about my household arrangement and slightly embarrassed that I had married fifteen women by irregular means.

The cricket pitch was made and a village cricket team began to play matches with other villages. From time to time I invited other better teams to show us how cricket should really be played. Mr Singh and his wife, and his children, became popular members of the community.

Asha's dams were built but it was two winters before they were complete and stopping floods. One of them became a local swimming hole.

The village school had more teachers. They needed them with all my children as pupils.

I continued to be regarded as insane by the wider community but the village was proud of my collection of wives.

+++

I wrote all the above a few years ago. Since then I have some more children, registered and christened. I have become more frail with added years. My wives make love to me now. Sometimes a wife pushes me around my estate in a wheeled chair or I ride in a low-slung donkey cart.

I am going to put my pen down now and end this account. A wife is coming to make love to me in a few minutes.

I could never prove my sanity, but if this is insanity I enjoy it.

The End.