One Night in Xanadu

I looked up then, into his eyes and they were eyes such as the guilty and fearful would quail before, but I was neither guilty nor fearful. "Lord, I have sworn to you as wife and also sworn myself to you as a warrior of the Xiongnu swears to the Chanyu. I am not Han, who break their oath without thought or care. I am not Mongol, except for my Khorula blood. I am Xiongnu and my word is my pride and my honor and always I will speak the truth to you as I see it, for to speak untruths is dishonor beyond measure."

I smiled then. "And so, Lord, I tell you that I am well pleased with my fate. To be even the most junior wife of the Lord of the Steppe, that is a fate and an honor beyond any I had ever dreamed and you are a man beyond any I have dreamed of."

The Khagan's eyes held mine for a long moment, and it was as if he peered into my soul, and then he nodded. "It is well, Princess Altani. I am indeed pleased to take you as wife, and you will have my favor." He smiled. "For this is not a marriage of diplomacy or to cement ties with another clan. This is a marriage of the heart, for I desire you, Princess. I desire you with my heart."

"As do I, Lord," I breathed, and there was a long moment where he looked upon me and I looked back and our eyes were for each other only and I saw he spoke truly, as did I. "Although in taking me as your wife, you weld the Xiongnu to your banner, for all Xiongnu know how and why I was sent to you, and they will see you taking me as wife to be a great honor and they will praise your name." And laugh at my brother the fool, but while they would laugh, they would not break their vows and my brother had achieved his intent. He was safe, though he would know it not.

I smiled now. "In wedding me, you have wedded the Xiongnu to you, Lord, whether you willed it or not." For I knew my people as I knew myself.

"I take not the Xiongnu to my bed, little wildcat." The Khagan laughed, and his laughter was the deep-bellied laugh of true amusement. "I take you, and rather would I take you to my bed now, but Duty calls. We must tarry awhile to honor our wedding guests."

And tarry a while we did, for many would speak with the Khagan. Many would come forward to bow and offer their congratulations to the Great Khan of all and his newest wife. Many were the exchanges of bows, and many were the curious glances at this Princess from the far distant steppes beyond the great mountains to the west.

"My Chancellor, Wu Sheng." The Khagan looked down at the silk-clad Han of high rank who knelt before him. Han, not Mongol, and I trusted not the Han for even ruled by the Mongols, they sought power and wielded it as deviously as ever they had under the Emperors of their own blood.

Bows and platitudes exchanged, this Wu Sheng returned to his table having examined me with his inscrutable eyes. My own eyes watched and noted that Phagpa did not care for this Wu Sheng. Nor did Wu Sheng care for Phagpa, and the Khagan noted the direction my eyes took.

"It is good that they hate each other," he whispered, his eyes unsmiling. "Phagpa is truly loyal to me. Wu Sheng is a master of finance, but loyal to me he is not. He is loyal to greed and greed alone and he would serve another as willingly as he serves me. Remember, Altani, this Wu Sheng is never to be trusted."

I looked at this Wu Sheng, and I would remember, but then a troupe of Han girls floated out before us, all flowing silk, graceful movements and voices singing the songs of the Han as the musicians played. This I did not enjoy, for the songs of the Han were not as music to my ears and perhaps my face was not as expressionless as I thought.

"The Princess does not care for these songs?" Wu Sheng directed the question towards me and it was not as if I could not answer.

"Unused I am to such beauty," I said in reply. "My people do not often hear the music and songs of the Han."

"Perhaps the Princess would care rather to sing for us?" Wu Sheng bowed, his voice raised to carry, his tone humble, but his eyes were malicious and I would remember, for this was my wedding and he sought to humiliate me before all, thinking that I did not have the accomplishments of these Han concubines with their songs and their artful graces and their tinkling inconsequentialities.

I bowed my head, and perhaps all present expected me to make my excuses, for the singing of the people of the steppe is not as the music of the Han. Perhaps Wu Sheng did not know that the Xiongnu were not as the Mongols or the Tartars. My father and my grandfather had sought to educate my brother and I in the ways of others beyond our tribe. While my brother had disdained much, I had done my best. Thus I had the reading and the writing of the Han and of the Tibetans, and I could speak the languages of the Mongol, the Han, the Tibetans and of the Tartars a little.

Also, the old lama from Tibet who had served my grandfather and my father since he had wandered into our camp many years before I was born had taught me more than a little of the prayers and songs of Tibet, and of the saying and teachings of the Buddha and the Bodhisattvas. I had also noted that this Wu Sheng and Phagpa disliked each other, and I smiled, for in this moment I saw an opportunity to cultivate this Phagpa who was a favored and powerful servant of the Khagan's. Perhaps also I would show this Wu Sheng that I was not the simple girl from the steppe that he took me for.

I glanced sideways at the Khagan, and he saw my eyes and he smiled. "Not the arrows, my little zerleg muur, my wildcat," he said. "Not for this Han."

Wu Sheng paled a little, and perhaps he had already heard of the fate of Jiang Shunfu. If he had, so much the better.

"Lord, may I sing?" I asked the Khagan. "I know not the ways of this court, but if it is permitted, and the Honorable Chancellor wishes me to sing in honor of my wedding night, it would give me great pleasure to sing for you and for your Lords and Generals and all your guests."

"Do not embarrass yourself, little wildcat," the Khagan's voice was a whisper, his hand on mine. I could see he was preparing to cut this short, and I did not want that, for had not my voice been praised by my people often. And my people did not flatter even their rulers or the daughters of their rulers, for we were the Xiongnu, and we had honor and pride. We did not flinch from the truth.

"I will not embarrass myself or you, Lord, my husband," I whispered, and my heart thrilled that I was now indeed a wife of the Khagan. His most junior wife, yet I was a wife, and that had not been my brother's intent.

Perhaps, perhaps I could aspire to more but I would not hope. Yet I would not meekly acquiesce to the malicious barb of this Wu Sheng, powerful though he was and I had seen the glances exchanged between he and Phagpa, and in that exchange of glances, I had seen my path. "Permit me to sing."

For a long moment the Khagan looked at me and then, slowly, he nodded. "There is more to you, my little wildcat, than I thought at first or even at second glance. You have the true courage. Do not bring embarrassment on yourself." He hesitated a second and his look now was implacable. "Or on me, and this I will tell you once only, my newest wife."

He stood. He clapped his hands once. In an instant that great tented hall was silent. Silent enough that the night breeze whispering across the silk of the roof could be heard and in the distance, a hunting owl called, and that was an omen that was good.

"In honor of our wedding night, and at the request of the Chancellor Wu Sheng, who has praised the beauty of my wife's voice, the Princess Altani will sing." He sat, and his look said that if I embarrassed him in this, I would have pushed my luck far indeed on this night, for one did not embarrass the Khagan and escape without punishment. Banishment or death was the only reward for that, and now I had risked both more than once on this day.

Wu Sheng smiled, and I would not forget that smile, and my memory was long.

I myself smiled, and my smile was not forced for I knew what I did. I stood. I stepped forward on that dais, stepping without haste, slowly, graciously, so as to be seen by all who were guested at this wedding. I placed my hands together in the namaskara as the lama had taught me, slowly, graciously, both hands close to my chest, palms and fingers against each other vertically, and many here knew the namaskara. Many were the puzzled looks, the softly whispered questions, and I was aware of Phagpa's eyes on me.

My eyes found Phagpa's in that silence before the first words fell from my lips. My eyes held Phagpa's as my lips quirked in a slight smile as I breathed in, breathed out, centering myself, clearing my mind before I sang. Those first words came without thought, my voice filling the great hall with a pure clarity that cut the air as a sword-blade cuts silk, sure and clean, without hesitation, and the words came without thought for this was a song I knew well.

The words I sang were old, an ancient song from centuries past that the aged and revered lama of Tibet who had lived in the yurts of my people as an honored guest had taught me long ago, when I was but a child. I had sung this song many a time, first for my grandfather's guests and then for my father's, and also at times for the gatherings of my people, so I was not without experience. Also, I had sung to gatherings of our people and the old lama had taught me well, so that my voice carried effortlessly to the furthest walls.

Phagpa's astonishment as he heard those first words fall from my lips was great indeed. In a moment, no sound but my voice was heard throughout that great tented hall. And indeed, it was not the music of the Han, nor was it a song of the steppe, for this was the Heart Sutra, and many were the widened eyes as they recognized those first words that fell from my lips for I sang them in the language of the Han that almost all here in this great hall knew well.

(Note to readers: If you want to listen to the actual song while you read this, search for "The Heart Sutra (心经) by Faye Wong (王菲) with English Subtitles (High Quality Audio)" on YouTube)

guān zì zài pú sà háng shēn bān ruò bō luó mì duō shí

When Avalokiteshvara Boddhisattva was meditating upon the pursuit of transcendent wisdom

照见五蕴皆空

zhào jiàn wǔ yùn jiē kōng

He came to the realization that form is nothing more than illusion

度一切苦厄

dù yī qiē kǔ è

And so he freed himself from all suffering and dissatisfaction.

舍利子，色不异空 空不异色

shě lì zǐ，sè bú yì kōng kōng bú yì sè

Shariputra: Form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form.

色即是空，空即是色

sè jí shì kōng, kōng jí shì sè

Form itself is emptiness, emptiness itself is form.

受想行识，亦复如是

shòu xiǎng xíng shí, yì fù rú shì

So too are feelings, perceptions, impulses, and consciousness, neither existing nor not existing.

舍利子，是诸法空相

shě lì zǐ，shì zhū fǎ kōng xiàng

Shariputra, everything is empty, non-existent.

不生不灭，不垢不净，不增不减

bú shēng bú miè，bú gòu bú jìng，bú zēng bú jiǎn

No birth, no death, no purity, no impurity; nothing increases, nothing diminishes.

是故空中无色 无受想行识

shì gù kōng zhōng wú sè wú shòu xiǎng háng shí

Therefore, in meditation there is no form, no desire, no thought, no consciousness

无眼耳鼻舌身意

wú yǎn ěr bí shé shēn yì

The eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, mind; all are irrelevant.

无色声香味触法

wú sè shēng xiāng wèi chù fǎ

Seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching, thinking; all are useless

无眼界，乃至无意识界

wú yǎn jiè，nǎi zhì wú yì shí jiè

Everything that we see, hear, smell, taste, touch or imagine has no significance

无无明，亦无无明尽

wú wú míng，yì wú wú míng jìn

There is no ignorance; there is no cure for ignorance

乃至无老死 亦无老死尽

nǎi zhì wú lǎo sǐ, yì wú lǎo sǐ jìn

There is no aging, no death; there is no cure for aging or death.

无苦集灭道

wú kǔ jí miè dào

There is no way to end one's unfulfillment, no way to ever feel satisfied, no path to follow

无智亦无所得

wú zhì yì wú suǒ dé

Wisdom cannot be attained, there is no wisdom to be attained.

以无所得故 菩提萨埵

yǐ wú suǒ dé gù pú tí sà duǒ

By seeking nothing

依般若菠萝蜜多故

yī bān ruò bō luó mì duō gù

The Bodhisattva through reliance on transcendent wisdom is unimpeded in his mind.

心无挂碍 无挂碍故 无有恐怖

xīn wú guà ài, wú guà ài gù, wú yǒu kǒng bù

His heart is free, and when the heart is free, there is no fear,

远离颠倒梦想

yuǎn lí diān dǎo mèng xiǎng

Abandoning false dreams.

究竟涅盘

jiū jìng niè pán

He can achieve Nirvana.

三世诸佛 依般若菠萝蜜多故

sān shì zhū fó yī bān ruò bō luó mì duō gù

Thus the Buddhas of the three worlds attain perfect wisdom.

得阿耨多罗三藐三菩提

dé ā nòu duō luó sān miǎo sān pú tí

And awaken to complete enlightenment

故知般若菠萝蜜多 是大神咒

gù zhī bān ruò bō luó mì duō: shì dà shén zhòu

The perfect wisdom is this: the great spiritual mantra

是大明咒

shì dà míng zhòu

the Great Mantra of Awareness

是无上咒

shì wú shàng zhòu

the Highest Mantra,

是无等等咒

shì wú děng děng zhòu

A Unique Mantra

能除一切苦

néng chú yī qiē kǔ

The cure for all suffering

真实不虚

zhēn shí bú xū

The ultimate truth.

故说般若菠萝蜜多咒

gù shuō bān ruò bō luó mì duō zhòu

Recite the Mantra of Perfect Wisdom.

即说咒曰

jí shuō zhòu yuē

Recite it like this:

揭谛揭谛 波罗揭谛波罗僧揭谛菩提萨婆诃

jiē dì jiē dì bō luó jiē dì bō luó sēng jiē dì pú tí sà pó hē Bodhi svaha!

Gone, Gone, Gone Beyond, Gone Completely Beyond, Enlightened. So be it!

My voice faded away with that last note, and silence fell. A long silence. I bowed my head to the hall, I bowed a little to Wu Sheng, I bowed rather more deeply to Phagpa, and as I seated myself, I bowed my head deeply indeed to the Khagan, my expression unchanged, serene, for as always that song had filled my mind with great peace and calm and all disquiet was banished.

"Princess Altani, all here are greatly honored." It was Phagpa's voice that broke the long silence and he bowed low, bowed to me until his forehead brushed the floor.

At that, there was a low surration of astonishment. Behind him the seated lamas and shamans in their robes of dark red bowed their heads with his, their voices humming quietly as their foreheads too brushed the floor, their slow chant echoing my last words again and again, and many were the heads bowed together with theirs in reverence at the words of my song.

jiē dì jiē dì bō luó jiē dì bō luó sēng jiē dì pú tí sà pó hē Bodhi svaha!

Gone, Gone, Gone Beyond, Gone Completely Beyond, Enlightened. So be it!

jiē dì jiē dì bō luó jiē dì bō luó sēng jiē dì pú tí sà pó hē Bodhi svaha!

Gone, Gone, Gone Beyond, Gone Completely Beyond, Enlightened. So be it!

Their murmured chant faded to silence as Borte, the Khagan's First Wife turned her head and it was she who spoke next, her voice clear and carrying, and she too bowed her head to me. A bow that I returned rather more deeply, for was I not most Junior Wife, and was she not First Wife.

"Your voice and your song does all here who have heard you great honor, Princess."

Now a soft murmur of applause and approval filled the great hall. My cheeks flushed a little pink for I had never before sung for such an audience as this. These were the Khagan's chief warriors, his generals, the men who administered his empire and their women.

The Khagan raised his hand and once more all was silent in an instant.

"I believe you asked my wife to sing?" The Khagan was amused as he glanced at Wu Sheng. "The Princess Altani aims as well with her song as she aims with her arrows. Perhaps you should reward her with a wedding gift, Wu Sheng, lest I encourage the Princess to display her skill at archery once more." His laughter said he was joking. His barbed words said that he was well aware of Wu Sheng's intent and I was gladdened but my expression remained serene and unchanging.

"The beauty of the Princess's voice and the wisdom of her choice of song are as the beauty of her person." Wu Sheng bowed low, hiding his face, but I had seen his eyes, and I had no friend there. "A suitable gift will be awaiting the Princess come the morn."

"Let it be so," the Khagan spoke, and his glance said that Wu Sheng should take heed. "And now, what is our next entertainment?" For this was an ikhudur on a grand and lavish scale and the Khagan was in a jovial mood it seemed.

"He is not always thus," Borte whispered in my ear as dancing girls appeared. Lithe young girls whose skin was of a dark brown, unlike any people I had seen before. Those girls were clad only in minuscule loincloths, narrow bands of silk binding their small breasts, and they danced as I had not seen girls dance before, their movements assuredly designed to arouse the excitement of men.

"He is not?" I glanced at her. My question was rhetorical, for I had not assumed he was. My father had been a man of many moods. I knew of the pressures and demands that rule brought, for had I not sat at my father's right hand as he gave judgement and issued commands? My father had ruled but one tribe, where the Khagan ruled many and the Han besides, and the Han were like ants covering the earth.

"Tonight, thanks to you, he is relaxed and enjoying himself. You have taken his mind off the demands of ruling for a night. We, his wives, that is what we do, but often it is impossible. There are demands on him, Altani. So many demands." She called me by my name, as one woman to another, and her hand rested on my shoulder as one does with a younger sister. "You are new here. In you he sees the freedom of the steppe, and he longs for that freedom always."

"Can he not ride the steppe?" I asked. "He is the Khagan. None would question him."

"He rules an empire of a vastness that is difficult for the mind to imagine and each day is filled with countless problems and decisions," Borte said. "There is much for you to learn and many dangers in this court. You have earned his respect this day and this night, but that respect will draw the enmity and envy of others. I think you have already seen that. Remember, Altani, you have kin here, you are of the Khorulas and thus also of my own blood for I too have Khorula ancestors, more distant than yours but nevertheless there. Thus I count you as younger sister, but be careful who you trust. Be careful of your words, for in this place anything you say may be heard and twisted and used against you. Be very careful."

Her hand squeezed my shoulder tightly. "Bare is sisterless back in these cities of the conquered, Altani, but you have sisters here and you may come to me at will. I serve the Khagan in all things and at this time you are in his favor, and indeed, you have sworn to him as no other of his wives or his concubines have, even I."

She looked me in the eye, and in her words were truth. "The Khagan has many daughters but as yet no sons and not for want of trying. In that I have failed him. Should you give him a son, Altani, you will be a power in this court and thus also in great danger. Many will want you to rise and many will seek your favor while others will desire your fall and will seek to bring you down, for there are those who are the enemies of the Khagan and would wish to take his place."

"Should I be so fortunate as to bear a son," I said, my eyes meeting hers. "I will always honor and respect you as First Wife and Older Sister to me, for that is who you are, and I count myself your younger sister in all things and always I will ask your advice." I smiled now. "I would be fortunate indeed to give the Khagan a son where others have failed, but I will pray for this."