Lessons Learned

"Lia. Please." I hated to beg, but suddenly I was afraid it might not happen. That would just piss me off.

"You never could wait, could you?"

Before I could reply, she put her lips around my clit and sucked hard. I bucked my hips, choking back a scream. She wouldn't let me go and I made myself breathe. At last the wave broke and I fell back on the couch, limp.

Lia kissed her way up my body. I jumped when she gave each nipple a quick suck. We stayed tangled on the couch for a while, until I was almost asleep.

I shook her shoulder. "Hey, let's get up. I think I'd like a shower and the bed is a lot more comfortable than the couch."

She gave me a curious look and I realized what I'd said. I'd just assumed she'd stay the night, yet I hadn't even asked. Maybe she couldn't. Maybe—and I didn't like this thought—she had someone to get back to.

I cleared my throat. "I mean, if you want to stay. It's all right if you don't."

She chuckled. "You think I really want to go out and grab a cab at this hour?"

"I didn't know if you needed to get back to your place."

"Nothing there that can't wait until later." She waved her hand in a dismissal and sat up. "Look, Iris. Let's just get all this stuff on the table. I'm not seeing anyone. I wouldn't have hooked up with you in the club if I was."

I believed her. Whatever problems we'd had, cheating wasn't one of them. "I know, I just didn't want to assume anything."

"I'm also not saying I'm looking to get back together."

"Me either."

"Good. Let's grab that shower."

x-x-x-x

Thankfully the next day was Sunday, because I couldn't have functioned at work after the night before. I slept until close to eleven and might have slept later but for Lia's slipping her hand between my legs and making me come. Waking via orgasm wasn't a bad way to start the day.

It was hard to get into the swing of things after sleeping so late, despite the way I woke up. Breakfast wasn't worth mentioning, so we went straight to lunch. I never felt like I completely woke up and having Lia there kept me even more off kilter.

We sat at opposite ends of the couch, me with my third cup of coffee and Lia looking as relaxed and beautiful as ever in a shirt and sweatpants she borrowed from me.

"How's work been going?" she asked.

"Pretty good." I sipped at my coffee. "I'm on kind of a big story now. Well, big locally anyway. Lots of bribery and corruption going on. You know, the usual."

"Really? Wow." Lia looked surprised. "When will you write it up?"

"I've been writing it up as I go along. There's a lot of information to confirm so I'm not sure when they'll print it."

I had a lot of things I needed to verify and double-check. I didn't like the number of anonymous sources I had so far, but few people were willing to go on record with names. I couldn't blame them. This was going to cost jobs and cause some seriously bad PR for the people involved. My boss had warned me to tell him about any threats I might get. There hadn't been any so far, but I wouldn't hesitate to follow his instructions.

"How about you?" I asked. "Still with that pharmaceutical firm?"

"Yep. They've moved me over into HR and that's kind of fun. I get to meet people, work with different departments." She grinned. "You know me. I get bored without some change."

I knew that. It had been no small factor in our breakup.

"That's great, I'm glad for you." And I was. For everything that had happened, I wasn't angry at her. Not anymore. How can you be mad at someone for just being who she is?

"Seeing anyone?" she asked.

"No. No time, really." I shrugged. "I guess I'm just not looking for anything right now."

She cocked her head. "Have you seen anyone since we broke up?"

That was Lia, always taking the direct approach.

"No."

"It's been a while now. You haven't met anyone that whole time?"

"No, I haven't."

She grinned and laughed. "Spoiled you for everyone else, have I?"

I rolled my eyes. "Hardly. I don't always have to be dating someone. Besides, like I said, I've been busy. Been meeting sources late, that sort of thing. Cuts into my time."

"Ooooh. Very Deep Throat."

"Not really. Just a lot of people who work high up and enjoy throwing their weight around by demanding meetings in the middle of the night. They like to think they're James Bond or something."

"I guess it isn't?"

"No. It's pretty dull, really." I put my coffee down and stretched. "Kind of like police work. A lot of paperwork, a lot of phone calls, a lot of verifying facts."

"God, sounds like when I did my research paper in high school. I'd be bored stiff."

"I don't know, I like it. You know me." I shrugged again. "I like to get into things, figure out what's going on, dig into the background."

"Not me. That's all past stuff. That's boring."

I studied her. "Is that why you never talk about yours?"

Lia and I had gotten involved about a year ago and stayed that way for a few months. It had been hot and heavy at first, like it had been last night. We'd spent a whole lot more time talking about what we liked in bed than talking about ourselves. That had been all right for a while; novelty can last a pretty long time if you don't look at it too closely.

Once we moved past the novelty stage, where most people start learning about each other, the learning was only one way. Lia didn't want to talk much. I didn't press at first, but it was frustrating to be so intrigued by someone and not be able to solve the mystery, especially for me.

I could find out where she'd gone to school and that her parents had divorced and remarried. That was all a matter of record. But what made Lia tick, what made her her, was another matter, and she hadn't been interested in helping me learn. It seemed she still wasn't.

Lia sighed. "Iris, don't start. We were having a good time."

"I'm not trying to start anything. I'm just asking a question."

"I'm leaving." Lia bounced off the couch. "This isn't why I'm here."

"Wait, Lia. Don't go." I got up and caught her arm. "I'm sorry. Please, stay."

"All right. I mean it, though. I don't want to get into some big talk session. Let's just hang out and have fun, okay?" She gave me a heated look. "Like we used to."

"Like this?" I pulled her into a deep kiss and swept my hands over her body.

"Yeah, like that."

I slid my hands under the thin t-shirt she'd put on and squeezed her breasts. She moaned into my mouth and tangled her fingers in my hair.

"Hey," I said between kisses. "Why don't we go to the bedroom? I have something new there." I knew she'd have a hard time resisting that. "Come on, Lia. Let's go."

"Something new? Why didn't you say so last night?"

We both laughed as we kissed and made our way to the bedroom. I pushed her down on the bed and reached down for the edge of her shirt so I could pull it over her head. I grinned as she leaned back, giving me a good look at her breasts. They had something of a teardrop shape to them and her hard, rosy nipples pointed up at me.

"Not fair." She pretended to pout and then reached for my shirt. Once it was off, she gave a dramatic sigh. "Really, Iris? You felt the need to put on a bra?"

"You know I'm more comfortable with one." I was no Dolly Parton, but I had enough up front that going without a bra tended to be uncomfortable after a while.

"I don't know why you bothered, since you only wanted me to take it off." Lia reached around and undid the hooks; she was quite adept at that. "That's better." She started to flick her tongue over one of my nipples but I pushed her back.

"That's not why we're here."

I braced my arms on the bed and held myself over her. Her eyes were bright with anticipation as she waited for me to do something. Knowing she was likely expecting me to go after her tits, I sat back on my knees and hooked my fingers in the waistband of her pants. Her chest rose and fell faster as she watched me.

I dragged the pants over her hips and down her thighs. She wasn't wearing underwear and I felt a sting of heat between my own legs. I wanted my tongue on her and in her, to make her beg me for more. Before I took the pants all the way off, I reached up and pushed my fingers inside her; she was already wet too.

I threw the pants on the floor and slid my hands along her legs, pushing them open as I got closer to her pussy. She opened them wider herself, waiting for me. I lay down, my eyes fixed on her glistening lips, savoring the thought of what I was going to do.

"Jesus, Iris, what are you waiting for?" Lia wiggled her hips, impatient. "You've seen it before."

I had to laugh. "It's been a while. Just enjoying the view."

"Iris, damn it!"

I laughed again and when Lia started to complain, I dove in. I ran my tongue over her folds, the slick skin covered with her juices. Whatever Lia had been about to say dissolved into a moan.

I used my fingers to open her to me, thrusting my tongue inside and occasionally running it over her clit. Lia undulated under me. I glanced up and saw her playing with her tits. The sight sent a shot of excitement through me and I rubbed my legs together to try to take the edge off. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Lia, the way she felt, the way she smelled.

She was so wet. I loved knowing I'd done that. I pushed two fingers inside her and curled them a little, searching for her G-spot. Whether I hit it or not, she liked what I did and let me know with a loud cry. I rubbed some more, adding my mouth over her clit. I wanted her to come and I wanted her to scream when she did.

"Fuck, Iris, that's so good." Lia gasped out the words and flung her arms to the sides, fisting the sheets. She was close now. "Don't stop. Don't stop."

I swirled my tongue over her clit and shoved her over that edge. She screamed, arching up under me as I kept up the movements of my mouth and fingers. At last, with a long sigh, she fell back to the bed. Feeling more than a little smug, I kissed my way back up her body.

"That was fantastic." Lia closed her eyes for a moment. "So what's this something new?"

"This." I stretched over her, reaching for my nightstand drawer.

She took advantage and caught one of my nipples in her mouth. I had to pause for a moment and draw in a breath before I could move again. I reached into the drawer and searched by feel, then withdrew my object.

"Wow." Lia eyed the purple dildo and grinned. "That is new."

"Wanna try it out?"

"Oh, yeah. I'm ready." She drew her legs open and bent them at the knee. "Go."

I laid the purple cylinder between her breasts and hit the on switch. Lia purred while I dragged it against her skin and around her nipples. After a few moments, I drew it down over her abdomen and watched her tense and jump under the feel of it. I ran it in circles around her belly button before moving it between her legs and running it gently over her clit.

"Oh, yes." She closed her eyes and smiled. "That is nice."

Lia moved her hips and I matched her rhythm. Every so often I pushed the end into her an inch or so, then brought it back and teased her clit again. She gasped when I hit a certain spot, still sensitive from her previous orgasm. I bent my head and grazed my teeth over her nipple, making her hiss out a breath.

"Iris, do it again. Make me come again."

"Yes, ma'am."

She bit her lip and spread her legs more, giving me more access. I took advantage and pressed the dildo in, turning it so that the vibrations would spread through her. I angled the dildo so that she'd feel it in her clit and the effect was instant. She jerked off the bed and shouted as she thrust her hips up. I kept the toy in place until she pushed my hand away and lay panting on the bed.

"God, that felt good. You ought to try it."

I took the toy out of her, slowly, unable to hide my amusement when she shivered as it left her body. "I have tried it. How do you think I knew you'd like it?"

"Then I think it's my turn." Lia rolled over and pushed at me until I was on my back. I went willingly.

While Lia wiped the dildo off, I slipped out of the yoga pants I'd put on earlier. I was as naked as she was and reveled in feeling her skin, damp with sweat, against mine. She wasted no time, finding all the spots on my body that she knew drove me crazy.

She tweaked my nipples and bit down on the pulse point on my neck, making me shudder. For a moment there was nothing but us. I could smell the soap she'd used in the shower—my soap—on her skin, and her hair was soft. Her hands skimmed over my body, running over my hips and thighs before coming back to my tits. I thought I'd die if she didn't get between my legs.

I groaned and closed my eyes as I tried to give myself over to the sensations running through me. Lia moved down and flicked her tongue over one nipple before sucking hard on it. Impatient, I started to reach down between my legs, but Lia stopped me.

"My turn, remember?" She turned her attention to my other nipple before I could say anything. She bit lightly with her teeth, then swirled her tongue around the tip. I groaned.

I heard her switch on the vibrator, but instead of teasing me as I had her, she put it right against my clit. "Ahhhhh. Lia . . . ." The tremors from the toy shimmered through me and I could feel my orgasm begin to build. '

Lia pushed the dildo inside me, inch by inch. She must have known how hot I was, how much I wanted it, but she refused to rush. My muscles tensed and I felt the orgasm coiled low within me. I tried to relax and reach for it at the same time, frustrated at being so close and so far at the same time.

"Relax, Iris. You always try too damn hard." Lia's voice was soft and her breath hot against my skin.

I took a breath. Lia was right. I'd never get there at this rate. I forced myself to relax and concentrate on what Lia was doing to me. She continued to tease my nipples, biting and soothing in turn while she slid the shaft in and out of me. My muscles started to tense and I went with it this time, not trying to fight it or rush it.

She began to move the dildo so that it rubbed my clit more often and my body responded, hips moving of their own accord. The heat and the tension came to a head and I exploded, writhing under Lia's touch. When she let me come down from the peak, we both lay on the bed for a few moments, getting our breath back.

After a while Lia pushed herself up. "I'm sorry, babe, but I have to go." She leaned down and kissed me, quick and friendly. "I did have fun, though. We should do this again."

"Yeah." I smiled and stretched. "We should."

x-x-x-x

"Are you sure you should do this again?" Gina asked me over lunch a couple of weeks later.

Lia and I had gotten together nearly every night during those two weeks and it was like it used to be. Fantastic sex at night, friendly acquaintances during the day.

"Why not?" I took a bite of my burger.

"I just thought you . . . I don't know." Gina shook her head, then pushed her brown hair back behind her ears.

"I don't know either," I admitted. "I don't know what I want, or what she wants, but maybe we're just hooking up for a bit without the pressure."

"Iris, come on. Lia not knowing what she wants is the problem. We all know that. Truth is, I think that even if Lia decided on something, once she had it, she wouldn't want it anymore. She likes the chase; you don't mind the chase, but you like it when the chase ends."

"She might like that this time."

"Iris." Gina gave me a sympathetic smile and patted my hand. "You're in denial and you know it."

"I know. What can I say? I can't help it." Everyone had a vice, something they indulged in despite the lack of benefits. For me, that was Lia.

"I don't mean to be harsh, but maybe you should end it now?"

"I wish I could. I seriously do. Part of me hopes it works this time, but the rest of me knows that it's just going to blow up." I stared at my burger but my appetite was long gone.

"So why don't you stop it now, before it blows up?"

I gave her a wry smile. "Because it feels so good right now."

Gina sighed and shook her head. "Guess I'll just have to let you learn your lesson the hard way."

"Guess so."

I figured it would take a while to learn this particular lesson. It wasn't like I'd gotten it the first time around. I wouldn't be in my current situation if I had. I was a reasonably intelligent woman, but like a compass around a magnet, my center got all screwed up when Lia was around.

So it went for the next month. Lia and I got together, downed pizza or Thai food, sweated up the sheets, ran the batteries down on our little purple friend multiple times, set records for orgasm intensity, and then passed out jumbled together on the bed. Outside of the bedroom our conversations rarely got more in-depth than an analysis of the last episode of Game of Thrones.

When we did talk about other things, it often devolved into a fight because aside from sex, that was what we did best. Lia didn't want to talk about anything that smacked of deepening the relationship, and she would change the subject by initiating either sex or an argument.

I came home from work one night, exhausted. First thing in the morning, my editor had been on my ass to get the story done. I'd spent the day chasing sources around the city, both on phone and on foot, and had gotten through the day on lattes and chips. When I got to my apartment, all I wanted was not to move for the next week.

Lia came bouncing in from the bedroom, dressed for a night out. "Hey! I was wondering when you'd get here!"

"Hi." I gave her a wan smile. "You look terrific in that dress."

"I thought so, too." She spun around to give me the full effect. The short skirt flared out and I got a glimpse of her ass. "Ready to go?"

"Go?" I propped up on my elbows. "Lia, I just got home and I'm beat."

"Oh, come on, Iris. It's Friday and you've been working all week." Lia dropped into a chair and pouted. "I don't want to stay in. I'm bored."

"Well, excuse the hell out of me for not entertaining you every minute."

"You do this all the time. You work and come home and sit or you want to talk."

"My God, I'm a total aberration. Imagine going to work and wanting to relax afterwards. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, Iris. You can't go out once in a while? What, will it kill you? You act like an old woman and you're not even thirty."

"I'm an old woman because I don't want to go to a club every weekend?" I glared at her. "At least I know when to act my age."

"So now I'm immature?" she shot back.

"I'm not the only one who's coming up on thirty, but I'm not the one going to clubs like I'm still in college."

"I know what this is." Lia stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. "You're trying to keep me here with you."

I barked a laugh. "What an awful thing, to want my girlfriend to spend time with me. How terrible that after a sucky week at work, I might want my girlfriend to put my needs a little ahead of going to a fucking dance club."

"You're trying to make me as boring as you are!"

"If I'm so goddamned boring, why do you keep coming back to me?"

"Me, come back? I don't think so. I didn't corner you in the club hallway."

"Bullshit. You followed me down there and waited, and you weren't trying to get my drink order."

"I was horny and you were there."

That hurt and I retaliated. "You have a lot of sex in club hallways with whoever's there?"

"I'm not a slut, Iris, and you know it!"

"No, you're just a free spirit, right? No being tied down to anything, just sailing through life. You hook up with someone and drift apart and call it being free and open. Bullshit. You get bored and you get scared and you don't know how to be a grown-up."