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Luke nodded, pursing his lips. He hadn't taken his eyes off Ryden the whole time and he wandered over to take his hand. It was limp and cold and, for a moment, he wondered, remembering how much he'd been shaking; the way his body jerked at the end. "I'm sorry, Ry. I'm sorry if you wouldn't want this but it's not fair. It's not fair that you are... that you're like this and he's..."

Still holding tight to Ryden's hand, Luke turned to Helen. "After the argument Ryden was on his way to see me. He sat down on the seat to try and think things through because he was so angry and confused. It was raining like hell. I remember that." He stopped and licked his lips, looking back at Ryden again and then straightened to meet her eyes. "His dad went after him." Helen gasped, but Luke shook his head at her. "No, please... please let me finish." She nodded, biting her lip. "He started shouting again and Ry snapped. He couldn't take it anymore and he... he hit him. His dad hit him back and they were fighting. Ryden slipped and... and... it happened."

"Oh my God. Robert. He swore... He swore he'd gone straight to the pub to calm down, with his mates. He swore he hadn't been anywhere near the cliff and he was so... In the weeks after the accident, when we thought... When we thought Ryden was going to die. He was wonderful. He sat with him and supported me and..."

"Ry wouldn't lie; not now; not about this."

"Oh God, Luke. I'd never... I knew there was someone there. I always knew there was someone there. But Robert... I didn't think it would be Robert."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't think... I don't think I can do anything right now. I have to... I have to think about it and I have to speak to Ryden."

"Yes. That's what I thought. I thought that... that I shouldn't..."

Helen got up and hugged Luke tightly. "You did the right thing, Luke. This might... this might be the key, the thing that... that brings Ryden back to us." She let go of Luke and turned to Ryden, touching his hair. "Baby, all I have is hope. You've let it out now and it has to... it has to... change something."

She clasped the hand that Luke had relinquished when she hugged him. "You're cold, baby. I'm sorry; I didn't realise." She tugged up the quilt and wrapped it tightly around him. "Maybe next time he wakes up we can tell him everything's going to be alright and we're not going to do anything if he doesn't want to. Maybe he won't be so afraid anymore. Maybe."

Ryden moaned softly and Helen glanced at Luke with a light in her eyes that had been missing lately. "Ryden... Ryden baby, can you hear me? Do you know what we're saying? It's going to be alright now. You're safe now. It's all out and you don't have to be afraid anymore. You can wake up now sweetheart and he won't be here anymore. He won't ever come near you again; I'll make sure of that. Do you hear me? Do you know?"

Ryden moaned again, but didn't move. Neither did he move for the rest of the day or night. It hadn't been an issue when Sam came that evening but, by the following morning, they were all concerned. He remained cold too, no matter what Helen did to try to warm him and, when Sam lifted his eyelids the rapid eye movements that had fluttered all night continued with eyes that were widely dilated.

After examining him, Sam was clearly worried.

"I'm going to ask the doctor to call as soon as possible, but you should be prepared because I'd be surprised if he didn't take him back into hospital."

"But... but what happened? He was doing so well."

"No one gave you any guarantees, Helen. You always knew that he was as likely to slip back as move forward; and I'm not saying it's all bad news. The doctor might say it's nothing to worry about. He might recommend different drugs, or treatment that can only be given at the hospital. I know you, Helen; don't sit here and convince yourself that it's gone back to how it was before. You know this was an experiment and it's no comment on you if it's failed."

Nevertheless, Helen was crying when she left.

"It was me," Luke said flatly. "I made him talk about it and I knew it was hurting him. He was shaking so badly... but I kept pushing."

"It's was no one's fault, Luke. You couldn't have hurt him just by making him talk. Whatever happens, don't blame yourself."

"I can't help it." Luke climbed onto the bed and put his arms around Ryden, sobbing into his shoulder. Helen wished she could do the same but had to content herself with sitting by his side and holding his hand. Unconsciously, she rubbed it, trying to make him warm.

The doctor came at the end of the morning and, while he thoroughly examined Ryden, Luke and Helen held their breaths.

"Well... he's still responsive, but much less than before. He's not reacting to voices or responding to conscious stimulation very well. He'll comply with direction but there's no spontaneous movement. The continuous eye movement is, in fact encouraging. His brain isn't just reacting it's working furiously." He frowned and tapped his fingers to his lips. "He's very cold and pale. if I didn't know better I'd say his body was going into shock, but there's no injury or medical problem to suggest that."

"What about emotional trauma?"

"That might do it, but it would have to have been pretty extreme."

"Extreme just to him though? I mean, something we might not think extreme might be to him?"

"Oh yes. The mind is a strange thing and it's very individualistic."

"I think... I think he might have— had a shock I mean. I... I made him talk about the accident, about what happened and he started... he was shaking really badly and then he kind of jerked and went limp and he hasn't moved since."

The doctor frowned and nodded. "I'll give him some medication and treat him as if it is shock. I'll come back this evening and if there's no improvement I'm going to have to take him in."

"What if...? What if it is shock, if what happened was so traumatic to him that it shocked him? Would that be enough...? I mean, you said that he was like this because..."

"Let's take it a step at a time, Helen. I don't think anyone should be speaking of recovery at this stage. I think stabilisation is the best we can hope for right now. You've been warned many times that there's a good chance he might slip back. If he does go into a coma again it's be very unlikely he'd ever come out of it."

Helen's colour drained and she sat down suddenly. "It's way too soon to start thinking like that," the doctor said reassuringly, patting her shoulder. "As I said— at the moment he's still responsive and his brain is very much alive. Wait and see."

"People keep saying, wait and see. How much longer do I have to be on the edge like this, never knowing from day to day if it's my last day with him?"

"I'm sorry, Helen, I truly am but at the moment no one can offer you more than that."

As soon as the doctor left, both Helen and Luke went back to holding Ryden. Both had been awake all night, but there was no suggestion either would go to sleep.

As time went on, the tension increased and both imagined a hundred times they could see something that seemed to suggest he was getting better. They were afraid to say it out loud in case it wasn't true which, ultimately it wasn't.

"So..."

"Yeah."

"I should make some food in case we don't get a chance to eat later."

"Yeah."

The both knew that neither had any intention of eating. Helen needed the distraction and Luke wanted to be alone with Ryden. He stroked his hair and realised it was damp. Then, he realised Ryden's face was hot. Great. From cold to fever in half a day.

"Oh babe, why... why is this happening now? I just found you and now... I don't want to lose you again, Ry. I don't want to spend a single moment without you. Please... please be better, or at least not worse. I couldn't bear it if I didn't see your eyes again. I did this. I made you remember and tell me. Please, please... I'll never forgive myself."

Brushing the sticky strands from his forehead, Luke frowned. "God, you're hot, Ry. I think the meds worked too well. Fuck... Helen."

"What is it?" She scuttled into the room, looking anxious.

"I don't know. He's really hot. I mean really hot and he's breathing fast. What...?"

"Oh hell Luke, you're right. What should we do?"

"Should you call the doctor?"

"I think I'd better."

While Helen made the call, Luke stroked Ryden's face. "Hang on in there babe. Don't do anything stupid on me now? You know... You've got me really scared. I'm scared right now, babe, because I don't know what's happening. I'm scared because I don't want you to hurt anymore. I'm scared because I don't want you to be ill anymore. I'm scared because I don't want you to be scared anymore. Mostly I'm scared that you... that you... Oh fuck... oh fuck Ry... what... what...?

Ryden moaned deeply and turned his head, his eyes fluttering wildly without opening. "What is it? What's happening?" Helen hovered.

"I don't know. I think he's really sick. I... I mean I know he's... but... but he..."

"Calm down, Luke, the doctor's on his way. I... I'd better pack a bag."

"Don't leave me. You can't. What if...?"

"I'll be five minutes."

"But..."

She was gone. Luke rubbed his face and took Ryden's hand, pressing it to his lips. It was so hot.

"Ry..."

Ryden moaned again and shivered. His breathing was so fast it was almost panting. "Ry... don't... don't..."

The shaking was getting worse and now he WAS panting.

"Ry..." Luke moaned. "What's happening? What's happening? Please... please don't..." He raised his voice to call to Ryden's mother, who was upstairs. "Helen! Please... please He...He... Oh..." He looked down, to where Ryden's hand was gripping his so hard it hurt. "Ry, I don't... but... Aw, Ry, you're hurting. You... Oh... Oh, God."

Ryden blinked at him and licked his lips. "I feel like shit."

"You look like shit. You've got a fever or something."

"No shit." He sighed hugely.

"The doctor's coming."

"Goody."

Despite himself, Luke had to grin. This was Ryden. This was... "Ry, what the fuck happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, yesterday we were talking and—"

"Can you help me sit up?"

"What?"

"Luke... I'm hot, and sticky and I feel... Please, I need to sit up."

"Oh. Okay."

When Helen arrived, in response to Luke's panicked shout, she stopped stock still in the doorway.

"Hi Mam. Could you give us five minutes?"

"F... five minutes?"

"Yeah. Five minutes. That's all we need."

***

It wasn't the end. Nothing is that easy. But five minutes became fifteen, then fifty and eventually the only time Ryden fell asleep was at the end of a day spent with Luke, during which they wasted no opportunity to tell each other how much they loved each other... just in case.