Finding Mr. Wright Ch. 18-Epilogue

Submission, then, is a beautiful gift, transferred from the submissive to the dominant. A gift the submissive gives to the person who wants to control them. In giving up control, there is a level of trust unlike that in any other relationship, and it is something totally different and separate from love or any other type of romantic emotion. Desire can be an element, as can need. But at its base, its core, it is one where the submissive feels a connection so deep to a dominant that they are willing to allow themselves to just simply be controlled. They ultimately create and then seal the bond between dominant and submissive. Ultimately, that bond, that gift, is theirs and theirs only to give.

Certainly, there are those out there who cheapen that bond, that relationship. There are those who do it solely for their selfishness, for their own sadistic desires. They care nothing for the object of their control, the man or woman who submits thinking they have found something, only to realize later they are just fodder for the sadistic who just takes his or her glee in hurting someone else. In those situations, the strength still lies in the submissive, as the submissive can rescind the gift at any moment, less the situation turn dire and those persons face criminal consequences.

But that wasn't the situation here, that wasn't Aaron. I realized that he wanted nothing more than to fulfill my interests, my desires, my needs. What were his words again? "I never wanted to" were the words he used. He didn't want to hurt, to go as far as I wanted him to. My hurt and anger with him changed significantly at that moment. I knew he was only looking out for me. That he wanted to give me what *I* wanted, not what he wanted. He put me first in this. This is what a true dominant could be, what one should be, and what he is.

I could feel my body relaxing then, regaining control of myself. I let out my breath from where I was holding it in, and began taking long deep breaths to recover. Aaron might not have realized I was cognizant yet, but I broke the silence, letting him know, in only one word, that I was fine, that I knew him for what he was, and what I wanted to be for him, forever more.

"Master ... I'm fine."

I let the words linger as I said them, focusing on the word 'master', but it jolted him from whatever plagued him, whatever he was thinking.

"Elizabeth! What? Are you alright?" He pushed me away, trying to look at me as best as he could with my arms still locked around his neck. He looked at me, my face, up and down my body, like you would look at someone you just pulled from a wrecked vehicle, looking them up and down to make sure they aren't hurt.

I was exhausted, totally spent. All I could muster was the ability to raise my head and smile at him slightly, though I gathered the strength to say it again, "I'm fine, Master."

He looked at me, shocked. "Elizabeth, why did you call me that? I don't understand. I don't deserve that."

My strength was returning more, and I found myself better able to speak. "Of course you do, Aaron," I told him, dispensing with the'Mr. A.' title altogether. This was beyond those formalities, deeper even. It was intimately personal. I continued as I looked unwavering into his eyes.

"What just happened here told me so much. Yes, I just experienced what I have been wanting to do for so long, but it was so much more than that. You showed me what you truly are, the kind of person you truly are. You had no interest in this beyond what you wanted to do for me. I only just realized this. And now, knowing this, knowing you, you have earned my devotion ... Master."

I smiled at him, revealing in my eyes and in my face the true nature that I now knew existed in me, existed in me towards Aaron. I let what I said linger, seeing in his face how my words and understanding resonated in him before I continued.

"I know this is our last night together. I know you have a fiancé overseas. You need to devote your time and energy and especially your emotions to her. Even if we can no longer have any contact whatsoever, just know that you have earned my devotion, that no one has ever made me feel the way you have, the way you do. No one has ever put me first, my interests and my enjoyment first. For those reasons, you will always and forevermore be 'Master' to me."

"Oh, my Elizabeth," he responded quickly. "I am so sorry."

He began to say more, but I quickly interrupted him. "You don't have to say anything else, and you don't have to apologize. You told me everything truthfully from the beginning, and I accept it. Just leave, knowing that you have really accomplished what you set out to do for me, and I thank you so very much for everything." I concealed my emotions as best as I could, but I worried he saw through me.

He looked down, unable to meet my gaze anymore. He looked ashamed of something. I began to speak again, as I was going to reassure him it was all okay, but he stopped me this time.

"No, Elizabeth, that is not why I am sorry. I sorry that I lied to you. There is no fiancé. There never was."

"What?" I asked, in pure shock, and even with a hint of aggravation in my voice.

"I have no fiancé. I never have. When I started this, a long time ago, before I ever met you, even before the Society, women would come to me and basically throw themselves at me when they found out that I had money. I wanted to find women and help them find their desires, but I never knew whether they did it to try to win me because of my status, or because they genuinely wanted to find themselves on this path. I invented the fiancé to curb that interest.

"But with you, it was different. I never introduced any of the others to Jacob. The more and more I got to know you, the more I realized that not only were you true and genuine, that I never needed a made up fiancé to know the truth about you ... and for you to feel the same about me.

"And just now, when you collapsed, I was so scared. I thought I had really physically hurt you, badly. I ... I thought I had lost you. I was so scared I couldn't react, I couldn't move. I've never been paralyzed like that before."

I didn't know what to say immediately. I had too much to process about all of the events tonight, and now this too. "Aaron, it's okay, I understand," I told him, even if I didn't really, not yet. I was more than a little aggravated that I had spent so much time worrying about a fiancé that didn't exist. But what did that mean for our future? What's more, why the hell did he reject me and cut me loose?? The frustration and anger of that thought came boiling to the surface.

"Then why Aaron?" I asked, quite forcefully, the anger and hurt all coming back to the forefront of my emotions. "Why were you so cruel and mean? Why did you dismiss me and let me go?"

"I'm so sorry about that too, Elizabeth. That was more about me, not you. When I found out from you that you wanted to go deeper into this, deeper than I ever have, I knew I couldn't give it to you. I didn't trust myself to be able to do these things to you the way you wanted me to without hurting you. It made me feel ... inadequate. I've never had that feeling before, never in my life. At first, I was aggravated and mad at you for wanting more than I could give, for making me feel like I wasn't good enough, even though it wasn't you, it was me. As I thought about it more, after you expressed your interest, I knew I couldn't be the one to give it to you, I accepted that. I also thought that you wouldn't take it on yourself to do look for it with someone else without breaking away from me completely. I thought that you wouldn't do that unless I broke it off with you, harshly and completely. I should have given you more credit. I was a fool. I let my own fears about myself get the better of me."

"Aaron," I said, moving my face closer to his. I wanted to place my hand on his cheek as I spoke to him, but as I moved them, I was reminded that my wrists were still shackled together. I wanted to say more, but he must have felt my arms twitch, trying to move, so he moved them over his head and unbuckled the cuffs, removing them. I just watched him do this, not speaking, gathering my thoughts and looking into his face.

I rubbed each wrist as they were freed, still half kneeling, half sitting, nude, in front of Aaron. Just as I turned back to him, just as I was about to begin, to tell him fully how he made me feel, he began instead.

"Elizabeth, I really am sorry, more sorry than I can really ever hope you'll know. It was so hard for me to be cruel to you, when all I wanted to really do was hold you and tell you how I truly felt. Instead, I did the opposite, wanting you to go find what you wanted, figuring the only way to get you to do it away from me was if you hated me. I told you that night that 'I couldn't be your Dom.' I *never* said I didn't want to be. I wanted that ... and so much more. When I walked out the door, I stood there a long time, so long, just leaning against the door. I went to open it and walk back in several times. I had tears coming out of my eyes, and I *never* do that. I eventually gathered myself and left and notified Vance. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and now, my biggest regret.

"After that night, I called Vance and talked to him. I confided in him what I did and why, and he was mad at me too, furious really. He told me I should have talked to you and explained, discussed it all with you. At that point, though, the damage was done. I told him that if you did go through with the auction, that I wanted him to win. I knew he could give you what you were looking for, what you desired.

"When he didn't win, I was surprised, but a bit relieved when I found out it was Miss M. I was relieved because it wasn't another man. I resolved then and there to learn and see if I could be that man for you. I got with Vance and Brooke and Vance trained me. We met daily. I got so sore from swinging the whip every day like that, but I didn't care. I learned how to use the whip so that I wouldn't hurt you, so that I could do it just like Vance. When I found out about the second auction, I made sure I was ready, or at least hoped I was. And then, once we were back here in the room and you collapsed, I thought ... well, I thought I had done something wrong and really hurt you badly."

"Yes, you really did hurt me badly," I said with a slight smile, "but not with the whip. The whip was perfect. No, it was more than perfect, it was incredible." He smiled, the first smile I had seen from him in a long, long time. It was a smile that simply made me melt.

"Did you really pay five million dollars for me?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, very sincerely. "I would have paid ten times that amount, and more. That's how much you mean to me, and I wanted everyone to know it. I was growing tired of the little bidding thing, too."

I nodded, not responding out loud, though I hesitated then, scared of the answer to the question I was about to ask.

"What did you mean by that, by 'how much I mean to you', or by what you said earlier, like when you said you wanted to tell me how you truly felt? Aaron, tell me ... how do you truly feel?"

He took a deep breath and let it out before he started to speak. "You know, I never fully realized it until just now, when I thought I had hurt you. When I saw you collapse, when I thought I lost you ...." He shook his head, like he was remembering it, still in shock and disbelief, before he turned and looked straight into my eyes. "I thought I had lost the most beautiful woman in the world. The woman I loved." I had dropped my eyes, not able to meet his gaze as he was speaking, a little worried about what he might say, but now they flashed upward to meet his, holding his gaze with my own. "Yes, Elizabeth, I love you, honestly and truly love you. I hope that one day you can forgive me."

"Oh, Aaron," I said, the emotion suddenly welling up and coming out of me. "Forgive you? I already have. I love you too! From the bottom of my heart, from the core of my being, I love you. From the first day we met, it has always been you!"

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed me back. This was easily the most pure, passionate, and loving kiss I've ever had in my life. I put everything into it, and so did he. The feeling was so overwhelming for me, for us, that tears were in my eyes, tears of pure joy. A joy that can only be found when you realize that the perfect man, the man you have found and have hoped for, and believed destined to be with you, tells you he loves you and that you love him back. This singular moment will remain embedded in me forever.

He picked me up then and laid me on my side on the edge of the bed, though I winced a bit as his hands touched my back and bottom. The stings of the whipping with the crop and bull whip coming back to me as he touched my tender skin. That seemed to remind him of something.

"Oh my gosh, yes," he said, "we need to treat those to help them settle and go away." I sat up on my side on the bed, bringing more pain to my butt as I did, watching as he went to the cabinet. He opened it and selected a jar of salve from several others and brought it back to the bed.

"Lay on your stomach," he told me, and I did. He started by unbuckling the harness from the back, letting it fall to the side of me as I lay there. He had me lift slightly and pulled it out from under me, tossing it into a heap in the corner. I lay back on my stomach, my arms folded up under my head as I watched him.

He put on a rubber glove (where he got it I didn't see), and took out some of the white ointment in the jar. He began to rub it into my back softly. Instantly where he touched, the sting and tenderness diminished. "This is a special salve you won't find in many places. It contains several natural herbs and medicines to help you heal and help restore the moisture to your skin. It also has a bit of an analgesic to help deaden the residual pain."

"It feels wonderful, Aaron, very soothing," I told him. I relaxed and let him apply it all over me, over my tender areas, even as we spoke.

"I love you," he said, and I felt a welcome chill come over my body. There was no way I could hide my smile each and every time I heard him say that.

"I love you too, my Aaron," I responded, adding the 'my Aaron' phrase as he had done several times tonight, when he said, 'my Elizabeth.' I told him that I loved him with a look of genuine happiness on my face such that I couldn't conceal it, even if I wanted to. "And as soon as you are done, I plan to show you just how much."

"Oh really, Ms. Brandt?" he quipped, "and how do you plan to do that?"

"You'll just have to wait and see, Mr. Wright," I teased back to him.

"We have to leave this in place for about fifteen minutes," he said as he finished applying the salve. "By then it will have absorbed into the skin and you can move."

"So I can't move until then?" I asked, downhearted.

"No," he said. "I don't want to take any chances with this."

"I have an idea, then. Come lay on your back on the bed next to me."

"Okaayyyy," he said, drawing out the word, more like it was a question than a response.

"Oh, just do it," I said with a little giggle, "and take off your pants. I'd do it for you, but, well, you know." He took them off and lay on the bed next to me, naked. When he did, I slid sideways and moved up on top of him. I lay my head on his chest and stretched my body out straight on top of his.

"Now isn't this better?" I asked with a jokingly naive smile.

"Immensely," he responded, and kissed me on the forehead. I purposefully lay far down enough so that a kiss would be awkward to do unless one of us moved, so we wouldn't be tempted to do anything else.

"Elizabeth," he asked, "do you have any plans this weekend? I guess, well, what I'm asking is ... would you like to spend the weekend with me, at my house?"

"I'd love to, Aaron," I told him. I almost couldn't get the words out quickly enough. My thoughts immediately went to Jacob, as apparently, so did Aaron's.

"You know Jacob has been asking about you. He'll be so happy to see you."

"Has he?" I could barely contain my excitement. "Oh Aaron, I miss him! I've thought about him so much ... and you too." I let it go, not wanting to go back to that time where I was so devastated by what Aaron did.

"Well, he'll be there all weekend." Aaron paused, before continuing again. "You know, you can spend a lot longer than just the weekend there, you know, if you wanted to."

I looked at him and furrowed my eyebrows questioningly, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I, um, I mean, ..." he stuttered, pausing. "I hadn't planned on this, not tonight anyway, though I hoped, well, I thought about it, but, I mean .... Oh gosh, I'm rambling aren't I? You see what you do to me?" He had a big smile on his face, then his expression turned serious.

"What I'm asking is ... Elizabeth Brandt, will you do me the honor of being my wife? Will you marry me?"

I could hardly contain myself. "Yes, oh Aaron, absolutely yes! I would love to be your wife!" I moved up on his body (to hell with the fifteen minutes to let the salve work itself in) and we kissed again, with the same love and passion in how we kissed a few minutes ago. This time, though, I let it linger, longer, more playful too. I bit his lip softly. He kissed my nose. He laughed. I giggled. I planted little butterfly kisses all over his face. He told me he loved me again and again as he held me close, holding me by the sides of my hips so he didn't touch my back or any other tender spot. He began kissing my earlobe, whispering 'I love you' again and again into my ear. I told him I loved him even more.

Eventually, though, he pulled back. "I don't have a ring," he said, sounding disappointed. "Not in my wildest dreams did I think tonight would be the night. Looks like we are going shopping tomorrow." He smiled. "No limit on price."

"Oh really?" I asked jovially, with a hint that he would be spending more on the ring than he had on the auction tonight. I waited just a moment before I became serious again, telling him, "I don't care about that. I want something simple, nothing ornate. What is much more important to me is what is inside ... inside you and inside me."

He kissed me again, and I felt so complete at that point that nothing could have made that moment any better. Well, okay, maybe one thing could have. I broke the kiss, keeping my lips scant millimeters from his, before I spoke.

"Speaking of something 'inside me' ... well ... that kind of gives me an idea ..."

"Oh it does, does it?" He said quizzically, smiling back at me.

Fifteen minutes or no, neither of us cared at that point. He flipped me over on the bed, onto my back, wasting no time whatsoever. My back and bottom were still sore, but not nearly to the level of soreness or pain that I expected (even though I didn't care). The salve had obviously worked its magic. Now, it was Aaron's turn to do the same.

He kissed my neck, the side of my face, my cheeks, my lips, even my ears again, nibbling on my earlobes, tickling me and causing me to giggle. I kissed him back when I could, but didn't interrupt him from what he was doing. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he moved on me, feeling his chest pressed against mine, my arousal increasing, my legs spreading apart for him, inviting him in. He had placed himself so he was right between my legs, rubbing himself on top of me, into me, rubbing his shaft into my slit, covering his lower parts in the moisture that arose between my legs, generated by the sensuality of his kisses to my face and neck.

In almost no time, he was fully erect, and I positioned myself to accept him into me. He didn't use his hands, as he seemed to instinctively know where to go, what angle to use. He touched himself between my legs, right at my opening, and pushed, slowly, entering me. Once the tip found its destination, he thrust with all of his energy, plunging himself deep into me, as deep as he could go. At the same time, he kissed me hard on the mouth, whispering into my mouth 'I love you' at the same moment. Nothing anyone has ever done before ever made me feel more in love with someone than I felt right at that moment. I whispered a quick 'I love you too' as I gasped, as he took my breath away, as he entered me fully. Right then, in that instant, Aaron made me feel wholly and truthfully complete, as a person and as a woman. I was his.