America's Watching

Without any effort on her part to show me any remorse to be leaving me behind for possibly twelve weeks, she instead yelled through the door, "I'll see you after I win 'AW'. Love you."

It was far from heartfelt.

No Hug. No kiss. No kidding.

Hell, she usually kisses me when she goes to the mail box and now I don't get one when she might be away for nearly three months? I know she's excited about being on the show, but knowing I couldn't even get a goodbye kiss really affected me.

I wasn't sure if I should mention anything to Lynn, but decided that she should be warned that her mother is acting less and less like she normally does and that maybe she should be prepared for the same treatment.

Lynn is up making breakfast and I tell her what just happened upstairs. She's shocked and hurt for me. She throws her arms around me and says, "I'm sorry dad. I wish I knew what got into her. We'll talk about it over supper tonight. Love ya'."

I smiled the best I could and replied, "I love you too Punkin'."

By the time I walk out the front door I felt sick to my stomach. After arriving at work I was and visited the men's room immediately.

When I arrived home that night I found a message on our answering machine from Sherry.

"Hi Walt. It's only me. They said I could call you one last time from the limo, so here it is. Didn't want to bother you at work and to be honest was afraid you would try to talk me out of being on the show again. I have to stay focused darling, this is for our future. This is so exciting. I've never been in a limo before let alone call anyone from it on my way to the airport to jet to L.A.. Lynn said you were a little upset that I didn't come out of the shower to give you a hug and kiss, but I was in a hurry as you probably know. Well...gotta go. There are a couple of network people traveling with me and will be giving me more details on what to expect. See you soon. Wait...not too soon I hope, if you know what I mean. I want to win this thing! Bye for now and don't forget to watch tomorrow night at eight.

That was it. It almost sounded like one run on sentence as if they told her you can say anything you like as long as you can fit it into one breath.

Even though we would not be allowed to contact each other until she left the show one way or another, she decided to call home and leave me a brief, insincere message knowing by the time I listened she would already be in California.

There was also no apology for not kissing me goodbye. Instead I had to listen to a lame excuse.

Well I was certainly feeling better about the whole 'America's Watching' thing. Though I was glad she reminded me to watch the show tomorrow night because until that moment it had slipped my mind.

There...that should be facetious enough for you Doc.

######

Well...it was Tuesday the night of the first show. A part of me couldn't wait to see my wife. I wanted her to do well while living out her dream of being on her favorite TV show. I was just leery of how far she was willing to go to do well and live out her dream. I could only wait to see.

Some of our friends set up an 'America's Watching' party. I had no interest since I hate parties to begin with, but despite all of my best efforts, I got stuck attending. What made it so difficult to avoid was that they arranged for it to be in our living room.

At eight o'clock the show came on and everyone at the party cheered along with the studio audience in Los Angeles. I began feeling ill immediately and wasn't quite sure why. It was just a gut feeling and I've always been a firm believer in going with your gut.

The show began and they began introducing the "houseguests" one by one. The first time they show the contestants is at their home receiving their ticket into the house. I took a minute, but they finally got around to showing Sherry at our mail box in in front of our house.

Everyone in our living room cheered.

It felt really strange to be watching my wife getting our mail on a national television show, but there it was. They showed the brief interview with her where she claims that she's a happily married housewife and mother of a teenage daughter. She briefly went on to say that since she was a big fan of the game and wanted to win more than anything else in the world that she was prepared to do anything to win.

This was said with a sly smile that a so called happily married woman and mother ought not to have had.

Now it was time to go live.

They had them wait in the wings before walking out in front of the studio audience for their fifteen minutes of fame as Andy Warhol once suggested. There were only three people that seemed to catch my attention. The first was the tenth or eleventh person introduced, my wife. She looked beautiful. Then again she always looks beautiful, so there's no surprise there.

God, how I loved that woman. I always felt like the luckiest guy in the world when I was with her. She had the ultimate girl next door look while I on the other hand was only ordinary on my best day. But she always said I was all she ever needed and up until this freakin' game thing started I believed her. It wasn't long after that first show that I started having my doubts, Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Any way they introduce this young guy from Oklahoma next. His name was Harley, not that I remembered at the time. The guy looked like he might have played college ball. He was almost one solid muscle and I could be wrong but I think he wanted to win the game so he would have enough money to afford a neck.

The last guy out was some young guy from Atlanta. If I ever saw a man I hated and wanted to punch in the face first sight, he was it. His name was Jake and for some reason I remembered it immediately.

Something told me that Jake was an arrogant prick right from the get go. Again it was just a gut feeling, but then again everything about the way he presented himself told me I was right.

Soon they were all running into the house to select their beds in one of three community bedrooms consisting of five beds. Not surprisingly I saw Jake follow Sherry. This did nothing to allay my fears.

The guests sat around their living room talking amongst themselves and getting to know one another. Sometimes these contestants lie to give themselves an edge. I was almost waiting for Sherry to say that she is a former exotic dancer who is still single waiting for Mr. Right.

To my relief she told the other players, guest, housemates, whatever the hell you want to call them that she was a happily married woman and mother of a daughter who will be starting college in the fall.

Actually she was incorrect. Lynn will start college at the end of summer. She also failed to tell them that if she stays on the show long enough, she may just miss her only daughter leaving for her first year of college.

Of course she failed to mention that her loving husband was less than thrilled to have his wife move away and live with strangers for what could be a quarter of the year.

By the end of their first little meet and greet they all walk into the kitchen and continue to talk, only this time it's a bit more informal.

I wasn't sure if I saw what I thought I did, but I thought I was good old Jake casting his arrogant prick eyes on my Sherry. I wasn't sure how many others caught it, but I knew some had by the way they turned and looked at me.

It broke my heart when Lynn turned to me and I could see in her eyes that she had the same doubts and fears that had been feeling.

I just sat stoned face wanting to call the network and tell them to get my wife back or else. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I think the overall mood in our living room changed after that and not for the better.

The show continued on where they had a contest to determine the first "house leader". That person got to have their own bed room for a week. Before going any further I'd like to remind you that these are adults partaking in these silly activities, my wife included.

As the season premiere came to a close they showed the guests going to their rooms to unpack. The host was then telling the TV audience about the cable feed that they can order from their local provider. The cable show was set to begin immediately following the show on Thursday, so they still had time to order.

As they were running the credits our friends and neighbors began talking amongst themselves and getting ready to leave. My eyes were still glued to the set as I noticed that the arrogant prick named Jake not only had the bed next to my wife, but smiled at the camera as he bumped it over a bit closer to hers.

Needless to say I did not sleep well that first night.

######

Thursday comes along and it's time for the second show. Most of the showed is filled with taped footage from Tuesday night through that afternoon.

This time it's only family in our living room. Besides Lynn and myself there is Sherry's sister Vicky, her husband and Sherry's parents. By the end of the show I was glad there weren't any others yet wish her family stayed home as well.

Things were about take a turn for the worse and even though I had bigger problems on my mind to deal with, every once in a while I recalled that the entire neighborhood was watching. And when they had a station break or promo they would say the name of the show which immediately reminded me that America really was watching. How could it not.

Not long into the show houseguests began plotting and forming alliances or teams. Hard to believe as it may seem, people were already lining up to stab others in the back.

They showed Jake and Harley getting together to form an alliance and immediately Jake hatched the idea of bringing in the little blonde housewife. Says she'll probably do whatever they want her to do and that they can probably take her to the final three. Harley asked Jake if he thinks she can really help them. Jake smirked and replied, "In more ways than one."

No one dare look at me this time around. I truly believed they sensed my rage that was quickly becoming a close companion of my sorrow.

There was little doubt that they had targeted my wife to not only be an alliance member, but also a possible show-mance. There was also little doubt that here wasn't much I could do about it either.

######

By the second week Jake had already talked to Sherry about joining him and Harley in an alliance and to say he laid it on thick would be a gross understatement.

Speaking in hushed tones to avoid the others hearing, but being picked up quite well by the network microphones, he began by telling how they needed a smart player and someone they could trust and said they wanted to take her to the end of the game. He then said that she had a great chance to win it all because he actually wanted to be sitting next to her when they vote on the winner, not Harley.

She was listening and I could tell she was falling for his lies. Then he told her that everyone would certainly vote for the pretty wife and mother over him when it came right down to it.

She blushed and whispered, "Do you really think I'm pretty?"

I could see in his smile that he was thinking that there was a potential for a show-mance with my wife.

The son of a bitch was a smooth talker, I'll give him that and there wasn't a doubt in my mind that he had seduced married women before and that he was going to do it slow and steady. There wasn't a need for him to rush. She wasn't going anywhere unless she was voted off and by this time he and Harley were running the house so that wasn't about to happen anytime soon.

He also didn't have to worry about an angry husband because I couldn't get my hands on him. Looking back I think he was already getting off rubbing my face in it.

Fortunately it was only Lynn and myself watching. Well at least in our house it was only Lynn and myself. Our family, neighbors and the rest of America were watching elsewhere. This wasn't too embarrassing, was it?

Now my fears were stuck in my throat.

But Lynn and I watched every show three times a week and almost a month into the show things began to heat up even more. Until then Lynn and I noticed the little things that happen when two people first get together. The little touches while talking, the playfulness that usually leads to something not so playful and the bedroom eyes that lets the other person know there's no doubt what they're thinking about.

In addition to all that I've mentioned, Jake had another trick up his sleeve. His seduction mode took on a new technique and it was both brilliant and evil. This was the week he began to subtlety put me down every chance he got.

It started Tuesday that week. While everyone else was in the kitchen, Jake roped Sherry off from the herd and was now in the bedroom with her. Whether or not Sherry knew it or not, she was the topic of conversation with the other houseguests. They all could see what was going on and most of the younger ones thought it was funny. A divorced woman on the show, still younger than my wife seemed genuinely concerned though she didn't act on it. After seeing Sherry's attitude ever since finding out she was going to be on the show, I believed there was nothing the divorcee could say to get Sherry to stop anyway.

Anyhow, they were in the bedroom talking low and at first it was about game play, but that didn't last long as Jake began asking Sherry about me. She spoke well of me for the most part though every once in a while she would say something that gave him an opening to get a dig in at me.

A prime example was when she told him that there were times when she feels like she's taken for granted. He immediately got up and sat with her on her bed. I was none too thrilled to witness this.

He then said, "He probably doesn't mean to be like that Sherry. He doesn't sound like a bad guy. He might be a little to full of himself, but that doesn't make him a bad guy."

She nodded. God damn it she actually nodded in agreement.

He then added, "Sounds like he just doesn't appreciate what he has."

She sniffled a bit and said, "No...he really is a good man. It's just that..."

Not letting her finish he jumped in and said, "Wow. If I had a wife as hot as you I'd never leave the house. I certainly would never let you out my sight."

She thanked him. Can you believe it? She basically thanked that arrogant prick for seducing her.

Then he took her by the hand and looked into her eyes and said, "Hell...if you were mine I would never want to leave our bed."

She blushed. She obviously forgot all of the objections I raised when this all started. I did everything I could think of to make her stay home, she didn't want to hear any of it.

During the show they showed more of his subtle and at times not so subtle seduction of my wife, Including a brief hug before they went to bed.

By Sunday night he was practically calling me a loser and she was defending me as much as she had earlier, which really wasn't all that much at all. The cable show following the network broadcast was even worse. There were more hugs and some light touches that were certainly inappropriate for a married woman to have with anyone other than her husband. I'm not sure she was trying to lead him on, but it sure did appear that way.

Anyone watching could see what was happening and it was making me lose my mind that my own wife couldn't.

It was apparent that Sherry was buying into it his line of bullshit. She sure as hell wasn't standing up for me.

Decided right then that I would be having a conversation with the show's producer, Zach Whatshisname the next day. I had to get Sherry off of the show before any more damage was done.

So far I could forgive her for a lot of what was going on, but if it went any further, all bets were off.

######

I couldn't wait around expecting things to change on their own, so I left work at noon on Monday so I could contact the producers of the show. With the three hour time difference between coasts I had to wait until at least noon and it was killing me. Every minute seemed like an hour as time crept along.

I finally got through to Zach Blevins, the executive producer of "America's Watching".

Our phone conversation did not go well nor did it bode well for the future.

When I told him of my concerns I pleaded with him to talk to my wife and make her aware that she is putting her marriage in jeopardy by remaining on the show.

His response was cold and calculating, but not all that surprising.

"Tell me Mr. Carpenter, is this an emergency? Is someone sick or dying? If not I'm afraid there's nothing we can do here at "AW".

"What about my marriage? Doesn't what's happening to my marriage count as an emergency?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Carpenter, I truly am, but my hands are tied. Your wife signed the contract and unless voted out of the house by the other players or eventually wins, it's solely her decision whether to stay or leave."

"But that's what I mean, couldn't you at least talk to her? Make her aware that her family and friends are concerned with the way she's acting. I'm sure if she only knew she would come to her senses."

I wasn't true if that was the case, but I had to try something.

He continued, "Mr. Carpenter, from what I've witnessed your wife is using her...ahem... questionable behavior as a strategy to win this game. While it's not my place to say whether or not I approve of this strategy, she isn't breaking any laws."

He had to know I was less than pleased with our discussion thus far and continued, "You see Mr. Carpenter, even if I were to speak to your wife, doing so would affect everyone in the house, not just your family. It wouldn't be fair to the others. We also have the integrity of the game to consider."

"Integrity of the game. You gotta be shittin' me, right? You throw my wife into a situation with a predator and you expect me to think there is any integrity?"

"Listen Mr. Carpenter, it's not what you think. To begin with Mrs. Carpenter applied to be on the show, we didn't seek her. And while Jake is not exactly the boy next door, I assure you we screen our house guest very well. There are plenty of background checks and they all came up clean on this young man."

I was seething as he went on, "With that said, we here at 'AW' do not make a habit of allowing sexual predators on the show. I will admit that Jake seems to be enamored with your pretty suburban housewife and there's no denying there is a certain amount of chemistry between them."

"What?" I screamed into the phone much louder than I thought possible.

"Being her husband I realize you don't see it that way and I would be surprised if you did, but believe me when I say that social media is all abuzz about that story line. However nothing they're doing is illegal. Fact is your wife is a big girl and could have turned down his advances at any time and chose not to. Believe me, if your wife showed any resistance and he pressed her on it we would have stepped in immediately and protected her. Problem is there technically isn't anything to protect her from, at least from our point of view."

I was madder than hell, but he did have a point. She certainly made no attempt to put a halt to his advances.

Worse yet, was he right when he said that asshole and my wife did appear to have a chemistry between them? How was that even possible?

All of a sudden it felt like I was punched in the stomach. All along I was trying to figure out why I had felt so strongly about all of those little touches and hugs, things that may have seemed so innocuous and innocent to others yet continued rip my heart out whenever I saw it.

My God...that was it all along wasn't it? I guess I just didn't want to admit to myself but that was it. There was definitely chemistry between them.