A Horse with No Name Pt. 01

"Brian told me all about you."

Who's Brian?" I asked.

"Captain Hobbs. He explained your situation to me this morning," Kate said. "You thought I was a nun?"

"Yes. Nurse Anderson told me that my physical therapist was Sister Mary Kathryn, so I assumed that meant you were a nun. I guess you thought that I was just a jerk when I kept calling you Sister Mary Kathryn and I am sorry about that," I said.

"That was partly my fault," Kate said. "I realize now that I never introduced myself when I came into your room that first time. I just assumed that you had been told who I was.

I spent the next ten minutes answering Kate's questions about what had happened to me. She listened intently to my answers, and when I told her about seeing myself in the mirror for the first time, she had tears running down her cheeks. The change in our relationship was immediate and much better than I could have hoped.

Now that Kate knew my situation she didn't try to ask me questions about my past, instead, she talked about herself as she encouraged me through my workouts. Over the next several weeks Kate told me a lot about herself. She was 25 years old and a single mother of an eight-year-old daughter named Megan. Kate's father was a captain in the Brodricksburg Fire Department and tended to be a little overprotective of his daughter and granddaughter, so Kate had to enlist the support of her mother when Kate wanted to buy a big old Victorian house that she wanted to restore. Her father wasn't happy when Kate and Megan moved out of his house and into the large old Victorian.

Kate told me that Megan's father, Jimmy Simpson, was the man of her dreams when Kate was a senior in high school. When Kate found out she was pregnant at the end of the school year, Jimmy asked her if she was sure that it was his baby, then took off to join the Navy and was gone before Megan was born. Kate hasn't seen Jimmy since he left town.

"Is Megan's father at least paying child support?" I asked.

"No. When Jimmy left town, I thought my heartbreak would never heal, but in time I realized he wasn't the man I would want in Megan's life."

Over the following weeks, a friendship developed between Kate and me. During my therapy sessions Kate was all business, but after we finished, she would sit and talk with me for another fifteen minutes and often she would come to my room and have lunch with me. I believed that her friendship was the only thing keeping me from wanting to kill myself.

One afternoon while Kate and I were eating lunch Dr. Patterson stopped by my room.

I introduced him to Kate and explained that Dr. Patterson was the doctor that told me that I would probably never recover my memory.

"That's true, Ben will never completely recover his memory, but he may still be able to put his life back together," Dr. Patterson said. "It's been about three months since we met; have you had any memory fragments come to you?"

"No, none at all," I said.

"That's about what I expected," Dr. Patterson said. "I would suggest that you keep a notebook handy and write down anything that occurs to you that may have something to do with your past."

"Like what?"

"Well, for example, if you were to find out that you know how to play the piano. That would tell you something about the person you were before you were injured," Dr. Patterson said.

The next day Kate brought me a notebook and a pen. "Now you can write down anything that comes to you like Dr. Patterson suggested," Kate said.

Chapter 6 - Free Ride Is Over

By Thursday, April 23rd, I had been in the hospital and rehab center for more than twelve weeks. The speech therapist had given me back my voice, or at least a voice, as I could not remember what mine sounded like before I was injured. With Kate's help, I recovered much of the strength in the left side of my body, and I could walk without a limp, and my left arm had regained its full range of motion. I was able to take showers without assistance, but I had not shaved or had a haircut in all that time, and I was beginning to look a bit wild. Kate said that the beard looked good on me, but I needed to trim it so that I would look less like a member of a motorcycle gang. Physically I was getting better, but I still had no memory of my previous life.

I just finished my physical therapy for the day, and Kate was sitting with me, talking about her weekend plans when Dr. Colson and another man entered the room.

"How are you feeling today, Ben?" Dr. Colson asked.

"I am feeling quite good. With Kate's help I am getting stronger every day," I said.

Then Dr. Colson pointed to the man that came in the room with him and said, "Ben, this is Mr. Jacobs, the hospital's chief administrator and he needs to speak with you."

Mr. Jacobs reached out his hand to me and said, "It's nice to finally meet you, Ben. I hope you feel that we have treated you well during your stay with us."

The last five words of his statement caught my attention and caused my spine to stiffen and my stomach to knot up. "During your stay with us." Was this the lead into being told that my stay at the hospital was about to come to an end. Judging from the look on Mr. Jacobs face, that is precisely what was about to happen.

I glanced over at Kate to see the color leaving her face.

"Ben, you have been here for three months now and your progress has been remarkable. You are ambulatory, you have full use of your left arm, and you speak with very little evidence of the injuries you received," Mr. Jacobs said. "The problem now is that we have done everything that we can do for you at Brodricksburg Memorial Hospital and we can no longer justify or afford to keep you here."

I felt as though I had just been struck in the head again. Kate was rocking slowly in her chair, with her hand over her mouth while she shook her head back and forth.

"What am I supposed to? Where will I live? How will I support myself? How can I get a job when I don't even know who I am?" I said.

"We have made arrangements with the Fifth Street Halfway House to take you in," Jacobs said. You will have your own room, and they can provide some job training and help you find opportunities to earn some money. Meanwhile, I am sure that Captain Hobbs will continue to help you find your true identity."

"Does he know you are kicking me out?"

"Please don't look at it that way, Ben. We don't have a choice in this matter. Our insurance carrier has made it clear to us that we have to move you out," Jacobs said.

I looked at Dr. Colson, and he was looking down at his hands. I looked at Kate, and she still had her hand over her mouth, but now she was staring at me. That's when it hit me. Not only was I being kicked out of the hospital but they were going to separate me from the only friend I had.

Trying to keep the emotion out of my voice I asked, "When do I have to leave?"

"The halfway house will send a car for you tomorrow morning," Jacobs said.

Kate jumped up and said, "You can't be serious. You are going to put Ben in a halfway house with drug addicts and convicts recently released from prison?"

"I'm sorry Kate, but our hands are tied," Jacobs said. We have to discharge Ben tomorrow, and the halfway house is the best solution we could come up with."

The color was rapidly coming back in Kate's face. By the time she spoke again Kate's face was bright red.

"Your hands may be tied, but mine are not," Kate said as she walked over to stand next to me. "The halfway house may be the only solution you can come up with, but I have a better one. Ben will stay at my house until he can find out who he is and where he belongs."

"Kate, I am not sure that's such a good idea," Dr. Colson said. "We don't know anything about Ben."

Kate stopped Dr. Colson before he could say any more. "I know what I need to know about Ben. I am his only friend and I can't, and I won't turn my back on him."

"Kate, you don't have to do this," I said. "I'll be all right."

"You're wrong Ben. I do have to do this. Tomorrow you will go home with me," Kate said to me then turned to Jacobs and said, "Can Ben stay here until my shift is over tomorrow?"

"That won't be a problem if you are sure you want to do this."

"I am sure," Kate said.

After Dr. Colson and Mr. Jacobs left, Kate said that she had to go because she had another therapy session in ten minutes but she would stop back, and we would discuss the move from the hospital to her house.

Chapter 7 - Life with Kate and Megan Begins

So, on April 24th, wearing an old set of hospital scrubs, I was rolled out to the front of the rehab center in a wheelchair that I didn't need or want, but the discharge nurse insisted I use. While waiting for Kate to get her car, I suddenly felt overwhelmed with fear. Being in the hospital was my life for the last three months, and with no memories from before that time, it was the only life I knew. I felt safe in that sterile cocoon. The fact that I had no memory of my life before my head injury was scary, but didn't compare to the way I felt as I sat in front of the hospital waiting for Kate.

The five minutes Kate was gone seemed interminable. My head was spinning with all sorts of problems and questions. Every person I saw was a stranger, and any one of them could have been involved in the attack that brought me to the hospital in the first place. I had no friends other than Kate and how long could I impose on her generosity? How was I going to live? How could I earn money to support myself? Would I ever find out who I was? Would Captain Hobbs ever find my attackers? All these questions and more were spinning around in my head as I sat in that wheelchair waiting to see how my new life would turn out.

I could tell by the silence in the car that Kate was probably wondering if she was making a big mistake by inviting me into her home. Who could blame her? She had only known me for a short time and what she knew about me was based on what I knew about myself, which wasn't very much. I tried to watch Kate's face without appearing to stare at her. I was trying to read her expressions to see if they would give any hint to what she might be thinking. I couldn't read her. After ten minutes of silence, I could not take it anymore.

"Kate, I think you may have volunteered to take me in without fully considering all of the ramifications. I think you should just take me to that halfway house Mr. Jacobs was suggesting. I'll be okay there."

"No you won't," Kate said, her voice cracking with emotion. "You're not a drug addict trying to get straight or parolee trying to stay out of trouble. You don't deserve to live like that. You need to get your life back and living in that halfway house will not help you do that."

"How do you know what I deserve? I can't even answer that question. As much time as we have spent together over the last several weeks, you still don't really know me. How could you?"

"The gentle person I have come to know has to have always been a good person," Kate said. "I don't think that knock on the head could change you that much. I don't want to hear any more about the halfway house."

Kate was quiet for another minute then said, "I have to warn you, when we get to my house my dad will be there with Megan, Dad will say what is on his mind, and he was not crazy about my decision to bring you home with me. Give him time. I am sure that once he gets to know you, he will accept you."

"I hope you're right," I said. "What about Megan, how does she feel about me invading her space?"

"Megan doesn't know yet."

"She doesn't know how she feels yet?"

"No. Megan doesn't know you are coming to stay with us yet."

I thought of several things I could say about that but decided to let it go.

Five minutes later we pulled into the driveway of the large, two-story Victorian and drove around to the back door. As we got out of the car, Kate pointed at the house and said, "What do you think?"

"It's bigger than I expected," I said. "Looks like it was probably built around 1920."

"How did you know how old the house was?"

I wondered about that myself, "I have no idea where that came from. How close was I?"

"It was built in 1924. It is one of the few houses from that era that are still standing in Brodricksburg. Come on, let's get inside and I'll give you the grand tour."

I was about halfway to the house when I saw him standing in the doorway. He looked to be about average in height, broad shouldered and barrel chested. His hair was red with a lot of gray beginning to show, and the expression on his face said that he was not pleased to see me. Kevin O'Brien was standing in the doorway like a secret service agent guarding the door to the White House. The unease I felt since leaving the hospital hit a new high.

Kate hurried passed me and waited at the door to introduce me to her father. Mr. O'Brien shook my hand while squeezing it a bit harder than necessary while Kate made the introductions.

"Where is Megan?" Kate asked her father.

"I told her to wait up in her room until you came up for her," Mr. O'Brien said. "Now why don't you go up and get her while Ben and I have a little chat."

"Dad, Ben is a guest in my house, so behave yourself."

"Don't worry about me, Baby I'll be fine," Mr. O'Brien said.

"I am not worried about you," Kate said as she turned to leave.

Mr. O'Brien put his arm around my shoulder and said, "Come with me."

He guided me into the kitchen then turned to face me. "I guess you can tell I am not happy about this."

"Yes, sir."

"Cut the sir crap; some phony respect isn't going make me any happier," Mr. O'Brien said. "Just because Kate thinks you're a good person and Captain Hobbs seems to agree doesn't mean shit to me.

"If it were up to me you would be in that halfway house. Let me make myself perfectly clear if you do anything to hurt my girls I will do a hell of a lot more damage to your head than the guys that attacked you. Do we understand each other?"

I don't know where I got the nerve, but I leaned in close to his face and said, "Well, you have done your best to intimidate me, and I got the message, but threatening me doesn't change anything. I have no intention of hurting Kate or your granddaughter. If I sense that my being here endangers them in any way, I will move myself to the halfway house."

So, he checked up on me with Captain Hobbs. Frankly, I was surprised that Captian Hobbs supported me.

"Good, then we understand each other," Mr. O'Brien said.

"Ahem" Kate cleared her throat to warn us of their arrival as she and Megan came into the kitchen.

Megan turned out to be a mini version of her mother. Megan's hair was a little lighter than her mother's, but she had the same piercing blue eyes. Megan seemed to study me for a minute then said, "Who's that man?"

"That's Ben. He is going to be living with us for a while."

"Why?"

Kate looked at me and then her father and said, "I will explain it to you later, Megan."

Mr. O'Brien hugged Megan and then kissed Kate on the cheek then he gave me a hard look and turned to Kate, "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

After Mr. O'Brien left, Kate asked me what her father said to me. "He just said that it was nice to meet me and that he hoped that we would become good friends."

"Liar," Kate said and laughed at me. "You ready to see the rest of the house?"

We walked from the kitchen through the butler's pantry into the formal dining room. Beyond the dining room was the living room. The living room was next to the foyer and the staircase going to the second floor. Beyond the foyer was a smaller room which had probably been a parlor but looked like Kate intended to turn it into a home office. All the rooms needed work. There were cracks in the plaster that Kate said happened when she had the house leveled, and all of the woodwork needed painting. In one corner of the living room Kate had stacked boxes of plaster, paintbrushes, rollers and plastic roller pan inserts, but no paint.

I pointed at the pile of materials and said, "No paint?"

"I want to get all the repairs done before I pick out the paint colors. I know it looks like I underestimated what it would take to fix this house up. Dad keeps telling me that, but I am determined to prove him wrong."

"How much have you done so far?"

Kate pointed at the materials and said, "I bought that stuff."

Kate led me upstairs where there were four large bedrooms and a bathroom. Kate's bedroom was the largest of the bedrooms, and she told me that she wanted to wall off part of the room to make a master bath and a walk-in closet. Of all the bedrooms, Megan's was in the best condition. It only had a couple of small cracks that needed patching, and it would be ready for painting. Kate told me that I could use either of the remaining two bedrooms. I was surprised that with so much work needed in the house the unused bedrooms were furnished. Kate told me that the house came with the bedroom furniture. All she did was buy new mattresses for the beds.

After the tour, Kate cooked dinner while Megan watched television. I sat in my bedroom still wondering if my being there was a mistake.

During dinner, Megan chatted with her mother about school, never even looking at me. Later, while Megan was helping her mother clear the dishes from the table I heard Megan ask, "How long is that man going to stay here?"

"I don't know, why?" Kate replied.

"I don't like him, and I know Grandpa doesn't like him. I don't want him to stay here."

"Give him a chance. He has had a hard time, and he needs our help. Will you do that for me?" Kate said.

"Okay, Mommy,"

"It's time for you to get ready for bed."

I waited until I heard Megan going up the stairs then I went into the kitchen.

"Are you still sure this is a good idea?" I said.

"What, trying to restore this house?"

"You know that is not what I meant."

"Something you are going to learn about me is that when I set my mind to do something I don't quit just because it's difficult," Kate said.

The next day Kate took me to JC Penney's to get some clothes. I got enough socks and underwear for two weeks. I also got two pairs of jeans and a few t-shirts. I had to get Kate to agree to let me help her around the house to pay her back for the clothes. When we got done shopping, Kate sent me to a barber shop to have my hair cut and my beard trimmed. My hair was still longer than it had been when I was attacked, but Kate said I looked good and I should keep it that way.

Over the next three weeks, a pattern developed at the O'Brien house. Each morning after Kate and Megan left I would put the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen, then I would take a walk around Kate's neighborhood as ordered by Kate as part of my continuing physical therapy. I could walk pretty well, but my left leg was still not at full strength.

The local market was only four blocks from the house, so I told Kate that I would cook dinner if she would leave me some money for groceries. Deciding what to make for dinner was difficult for me because I had no idea what foods I liked, so each day I would buy something different dinner. The interesting thing was that I turned out to be a pretty good cook. Kate and Megan enjoyed the meals I prepared, and I was learning what foods I liked and disliked.

After dinner, Kate would get Megan ready for bed and read her a story while I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen. When Kate came back downstairs, I would join her in the living room to watch some television. When I went up to bed, I would record anything that happened that day that in any way seemed familiar to me in my notebook.

Once a week either Captain Hobbs or Lieutenant Hanratty would stop by to see how I was doing and ask if I had written anything new in my notebook since the last time they visited.