Your Date Night With Her

You and she
Are out
At a wedding
And I am
Trying
To be ok

I am
Not
Ok

I’ve been
Helping her
Get ready
For a damn week
Helped her pick out
Her dress
Took her for
A pedicure
Helped her with her make up
Helped her with her shoes
Helped her with her jewelry
Helped her zip up her dress
Helped her
Look good
For you

I took pictures
Of the two of you
She looked beautiful
And you looked
So fucking handsome

I tell you to have fun
I hope that you don’t

You made a point
To spend time with me
This morning
First at my house
Kissing me
Touching me
Telling me
How good I feel
How much you want me
How much you love me
How much you wish
It was me
Going with you

Later
You find me
At your house
Having tea
With her
You ask me
To go shopping
You need shoes
And a belt
I smile
You have a belt
You’ve used it on me
In her bed
We leave
We hold hands in the car
You tell me
Nothing will happen
Between you and her
It’s just a wedding
An obligation
And again you say
You wish
You were going
With me

She texts me
From the venue
Tells me
She’s had three cosmos
And you’ve had
Two Manhattans
And the food is
So yummy
And you are both having
So
Much
Fun

You text me
From the venue
Your steak is
Overcooked
And your first course
Was covered in walnuts
Which you cannot eat
And you are tired
I say
I’m tired too
I’m going to bed
You do not say
Good night

I will be glad tomorrow
When the stress of this night
Is over
I can’t stand knowing
You have been with her
All dressed up
For seven hours
Drinking
Talking
Probably touching
Possibly dancing
Maybe kissing
I can’t
Stand
Knowing
You might fuck her
When you get home
You might kiss her
On the dance floor
You might hold her hand
In the car

I want her to be happy
But not with you
I want you to be happy
But not with her
And I want me to be happy
I want me
To be the woman
Who kisses you
Touches you
Goes to weddings with you
Fucks you and
Makes you
Happy

But
I sat home
Alone
With your collar
Around my neck
While your arms
Were around
Her body
So the only one
Not happy is
Me