Lady Mary's Coitus Interruptus:

Two Versions:

What occurred in 1920

Lady Mary had retired to her boudoir,
With a man she had met at a charity bazaar.

Sitting astride him, she was reaching her peak,
When her maid knocked at her door and shrieked:

Madame, there's an angry woman in the hallway
She insists on seeing you and will not go away.

As agile as she dismounted from her horse,
Lady Mary hastened to learn the intruder's distress.

Confronted by a shrill termagant,
She was accused of being a trollop,
And of seducing her naïve mate.

I presume you mean the man whom I just met.
Since you cannot attend to satisfying him in bed,
I am assuming that role on your behalf instead.

I'm calling the butler to show you out.
Now leave me, as I have to finish where we left off.
No doubt, he will give you a favorable account.

In the recent past

At home, riding a man she had picked up,
Lady Mary heard loud door thumps.

Who the hell can that be?
I better go see.

An irate woman was at the door.
She accused Lady Mary of being a whore.

Listen, you goddamn shrew.
I assume that's your husband I just blew.

If you cannot satisfy your man,
I bloody well can!

Now it's my turn to get off.
I'm going back to where we left off.
So, shove off!