Friends and Lovers

We are talking,
she and I,
about the difference between
friends and lovers.
She insists that
a romantic partnership
does not require
fuckery.
That over the years
physicality wanes
leaving you with
the things that matter.
Companionship,
someone you can depend on
someone who lives in your house
and takes care of things for you
and with you.

I tell her she is so wrong.
That what she is describing
is at best a friendship,
but sounds more like
a roommate.
I tell her the difference
between a friend
and a lover
is wanting to fuck.
It’s wanting them to fuck you.
It’s wanting to touch
and kiss
and grab
and bite
and scratch
and cuddle
and hug
It’s the physical magnet
that draws your bodies together.
That’s what takes a relationship
past friendship,
and makes it something deeper
something more than friends.

She says maybe that’s why
she has a man
and I don’t.
She says the whole package
doesn’t exist.
And I should just settle for
the friendship
without the fuckery
Instead of dating
for the fuckery
and never getting
the friendship

And I wonder
if she knows
that she has settled
for a man who
loves fucking but
stays with her
lives with her
lovelessly
lustlessly
listlessly
only because of children
and his commitment
to them

Her man
gives me
friendship
and fuckery
and love
Her man
has become
her roommate who
cannot keep his eyes
hands
lips
and mind
off of me

Perhaps
we have both settled
for different kinds
of love
She
for a man
who stays
without wanting her
enjoying her
fucking her
And me
for a man
who wants me
enjoys me
fucks me
but won’t
leave
her
for me