Can't you take me when I'm sober?

Why don't you take me when I'm sober?
Why do you use me when I'm drunk?
We could make love when we're together on a Sunday afternoon.
But if I want a real good fucking I got to get tipsy for my hunk.

I love when you lick my little kitty,
Or when I get on top and ride.
But to get buggered so hard I won't walk straight in the morning,
We've got to start out with the bartender as our guide.

Why don't you take me when I'm sober?
Why do you use me when I'm drunk?
You charmed me when we met in college,
But after the party we broke the bunk.

On work nights you're so gentle,
Even when I let you in my back door.
However Friday night debauchery is rough yet simple.
You're the jackhammering energizer bunny and I'm your little whore.

I tell you that you can take me,
you can be rough and slap me 'round,
But when you're sober you're just faking,
like a song without the sound.

Why don't you take me when I'm sober?
Why do you use me when I'm drunk?
I'm glad that I'm horny when I've been drinking.
Otherwise we'd be in a funk.