BDSM in later life

He's everything to me, yet not enough
to banish insecurities of being unlovable.
The seeds planted over half a century ago,
still lead me into dark dungeon encounters
where ironically sex is harsh and nothing
to do with love, but does have the kick
of being wanted, if only for the whip crack
were taboo meets reality and at least
the orgasmic, adrenaline rush pain is real.