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Click hereMy wife and I were sitting down having a drink in the local tavern, located on the other side of town from our house, but the town was also extremely small with about a thousand people living there. The tavern looked like a typical bar. It had a cabin style motif complete with a jukebox in the corner. We were both a really open minded couple, so I had no hesitation of inquiring about the gorgeous blonde sitting in the corner of the bar.
"What do you think of her?" I asked my wife as I nudged her side with my elbow.
My wife sat silent for a moment, absorbing the physical features of the big breasted blonde, "Yeah, I'd definitely fuck her," She said in a nonchalant tone. "And her boyfriend too"
I looked past the blonde for a moment and realized there was another guy sitting at the table with her. He was a rugged looking guy, but in a preppy kind of way. He reminded me of the most popular football player in high school. You know, the guy that every girl wanted to be with, and every guy wished he could be. They looked like the perfect couple.
The wife and I finished our drinks and I paid the barkeep. No sooner than we were out in the parking lot, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I wheeled around and the rugged preppy guy was standing behind me.
"My wife and I over heard your conversation," He began, "And my wife and I were wondering if you wanted to come over and have a few more drinks."
I opened my mouth to decline the offer, but from behind me I heard my wife quickly agree to his offer. Now, the wife and I talk a big game about who we find attractive and who we would fuck, but my wife has never acted on it, especially out of impulse. I felt a twinge of jealousy surge through me, but I was certainly not about to become a prick and ruin this, it probably wouldn't happen again.
The night became progressively better as it wore on. These new people were great conversationalists and seemed to know a lot about everything. Least to say, we were all very comfortable. I sat next to the blonde woman, whom I found out her name was Kelly and her husbands name was Tom. Before I knew what was going on, her hand was massaging my thigh and crept into my lap. I felt her warm touch through my khaki pants as she applied a slight pressure onto my dick. Apparently, they had done this before, as soon as Kelly and I were becoming playful, I watched Tom lead my wife into one of the back bedrooms.
Within seconds, things were hot and heavy. Kelly and I were almost completely nude. Her large perfect breasts were needed in my mouth and I didn't hesitate to put them there. As I sucked and licked on her nipples, Kelly was furiously pumping her hand up and down my shaft. My cock throbbed and throbbed, it was one of the best hand jobs I had ever received.
Suddenly, Kelly jerked me onto her as she laid back. My cock quickly found the wet spot between her thighs and I wasted no time getting better acquainted with the blonde goddess underneath me. For what seemed like hours, which I'm sure was only minutes, I was in ecstasy. Her pussy was a perfect fit for my cock. Kelly pushed me off of her, and in turn, got on top of me. She rhythmically bounced on my cock. Her large tits flew up and down as she rode me.
"Do you like it Kelly?" I asked, "Do you like my big cock?"
SLAP!
Kelly's hand came down onto my forehead. I thought she had been offended, so I kept my mouth closed. Suddenly, she started massaging my earlobes.
SLAP!
I was really puzzled now, but I didn't want to say anything to ruin the pleasure I was receiving. Once again, Kelly played with my earlobes.
SLAP!
My forehead was beginning to hurt now, and for some fucked up reason she kept playing with my earlobes.
SLAP!
My attention was now focused on why the hell she was slapping my forehead and playing with earlobes.
SLAP!
"Okay! That's enough of that!" I yelled, confused and frustrated as Kelly once again massaged my earlobes.
I expected Kelly to get up and get her clothes on, and this night to be over. But to my amazement, Kelly never missed a beat. She stopped slapping my forehead but I could tell there was a look of disappointment in her eyes. Quickly, I finished up and no sooner had I finished, than my wife came walking into the living room with a look of complete satisfaction.
"Was it good for you honey?" I asked with a twinge of jealousy.
"Oh god, it was great," My wife replied dreamily.
I could feel myself in a real sour mood suddenly, "Well that makes one of us."
"Didn't she tell you?" My wife asked, "They're actually aliens, trying to find out what sex is like with humans."
I had to laugh at the absurdity of what my wife was saying, "Yeah, right."
"In fact, with the aliens," My wife continued, "Or the males at least, if you slap them on the forehead, his penis gets longer, and if you rub their earlobes, his penis gets thicker."
"That explains everything," I shook my head and didn't say another word that night.
I've read this story before; in an e-mail a friend sent me with that exact joke...hardly original.