Once Upon a Fantasy Ch. 11-12

"What do we want to tell them?" she asked, still uncertain.

"Be responsible. Be safe. Be sure of what you are doing and why you are doing it. If we just say 'no ... you can't,' well ... I don't think that will work very well. If they've already made up their minds, whichever way, then we probably won't have a big effect on them. All we can do is try to protect them from doing something reckless or stupid. I'd be very surprised if either of them would be caught out that way, but I think we need to at least have the discussion."

Kim rose and came to me, sitting in my lap once more.

"You're a hell of a dad, Dad," she said through some tears.

"We're going to make a hell of a team, Mother. Those girls have been raised with all the right values. Andrea's screwing around really upset Candy. It threw everything she thought about her mother into the waste basket. That's why she's having such are hard time being civil to her."

We were quiet for a few moments and both of us were thinking about how to have the conversation with our daughters.

"I'm going to talk to Deb tonight about finding the condoms, Norm. I think it's better I have a one-on-one with her first. Let me see how that goes, then we can decide about what to say to them."

"All right. Whatever you think best. I'll be surprised if she hasn't noticed they are missing. She may be wondering if you've already discovered them."

Kim nodded.

We kissed and hugged and held each other for a few moments before she left. I asked her to call me and let me know how the conversation with Deb went. She said she would.

It was almost ten o'clock when she called me back. I could tell almost instantly that the tension was gone and there was a hint of relief in her voice.

"It wasn't as bad as I expected," she began. "She was pretty sure I had discovered them and wondered when I would ask her about them. She was a bit embarrassed but not too terribly. She admitted she had been having sex with one boy. She said she was curious about what all her friends were talking about and she chose this guy because he was a nice guy and didn't try and take advantage of her.

"She said it wasn't great the first time, but it was better the second and third. Apparently that's all they have been together. She bought the condoms herself because she didn't want to take any chances even though she is on birth control pills. She is very aware of safe sex."

"How do you feel about it, Kim?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm hung up about my own experiences and how I reacted. I know Deb isn't anything like me when I was her age, but it still worries me."

"I can understand that. Have you thought about telling her of your teenage years?"

"God, no! I couldn't. What would she think of me?"

"Hard to say. It depends on how you framed it. Taking her into your confidence might give her something to think about. She probably has you pegged as someone who went into marriage as a virgin. Most youngsters think their parents are pretty old fashioned."

"Could you have that conversation with Brandon?"

"I already have. I told him when and how I lost my virginity and was quite frank about how I behaved in college. I told him how risky some of the things I did were and he got the message. I know he's had some sexual experience but I don't know how much."

"What about Candy?"

"Andrea had the mother-daughter talk, but I don't know what her status is right now. As close as she is to Deb, I wouldn't be surprised if she has been intimate with some guy."

"Are we going to talk to them both?"

"Let me think about it. I don't want to embarrass either of them. This is one thing they may not share with each other. I think I'll talk to Candy myself. Then we can decide."

We talked for a minute or two longer before we hung up, promising to discuss it again after I had talked to Candy.

I decided not to delay that conversation. I would do it the next evening after the evening meal.

"Candy, I know your mother talked to you about sex some time ago, but you and I haven't talked about it since she left."

"This is about Deb's mom finding the condoms, isn't it," she said immediately.

I sighed. I should have known that I wasn't going to be a step ahead of my daughter.

"Yeah. What's your take on it?" That was about as obtuse a question as I could ask.

Candy shrugged. "Aren't you really asking me what Kim asked Deb? Am I having sex?"

"Okay ... I guess that's what it boils down to."

"Are you going to be mad and yell at me if I say I am?"

"Have I ever done that before?"

"No ... I guess not."

"I'm not going to judge you. I just want you to know the risks and to be smart about your personal relationships. You're still young and you have a lot planned ahead of you. You don't want to mess up that future."

"I know. Both Deb and I have thought about that too. We're being careful, I promise. It's not like we're doing something every week."

"Do I know the guy?"

She shook her head. "I don't think so. Do you want to meet him?"

I thought about it. "No ... not right away. I don't want to embarrass him or you. I just want you to be safe. Just be careful picking your partner."

She looked unhappy and had trouble looking me in the eye.

"Is there something else?" I asked.

"Are you disappointed in me?"

"No ... I love you Candy ... just like Kim loves Deb. We just want you both to be happy and safe and healthy. Make sure whatever you do to keep that in mind."

She nodded, looking up at me with a faint smile and the hint of a tear. She came to me and hugged me before leaving and returning to her room.

I sat in my office just thinking about the last few minutes and what I might have done or said that I didn't think of. How do you talk to your daughter about the most intimate thing a person can do with another person? It was too late to say no because it had already happened. I just had to hope the values we gave her would keep her safe.

To Be Continued